Yep, another songfic. I'm on a roll. I also wanted to write this because I noticed there are NO Arlon stories whatsoever. Dude needs some love.
Thanks to Konpeki Rei for betaing! Love you in a platonic manner, brah! *acts like skater dude, despite being a clumsy white girl*
Me no owns Kid Icarus nor Avenue Q. Me no want sue. Me only want cookie.
Arlon sat back in his chair. "Ah, an afternoon alone with my favorite book, 'Broadway Musicals of the 1940s.' No angel to bother me. How can it get any better than this?"
Suddenly the door burst open. "Oh hi Arlon!"
The butler sighed. "Hi, Pit."
"Hey Arlon, you'll never guess what happened to me in the hot springs this morning," the little angel blabbered. "This Centurion was smiling at me and talking to me..."
"Hmm that's very interesting," Arlon said, rolling his eyes.
"Yep, he was being REAL friendly! And I- I think he was coming on to me! I think he might have thought I was gay."
Arlon stiffened. "So why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What'd you have for lunch today?"
Pit pouted. "Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it-"
"I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!" screeched the older man. Pit cowered in fright. "Ugh, why do I care about some gay guy you met? I am trying to read," he explained, brandishing his book in the boy's face.
"I didn't mean anything by it Arlon, I just thought it's something we should be able to talk about."
"Well I do not want to talk about it, Pit, this conversation is over," growled Arlon.
"Yeah but Arlon-"
"OVER!"
Suddenly, music was playing over the speakers in Viridi's temple. Pit grinned. "Well, OK, but just so you know..."
Arlon did not have a good feeling about this. Please do not sing like you did when you met me in Uprising, he thought.
Alas, the little angel did just that.
"If you were gay, that would be OK
I mean, cuz hey- ha!- I'd like you an-y-way."
Arlon groaned, but PIt continued.
"Because you see, if it were MEEEEEE
I would feel free to say that I was gay-
-but I'm not gay!"
"Please Pit, I am trying to read," Arlon sighed. Pit leaned over his shoulder and stared at the novel. "What?"
"If you were queer-"
"Ugh, Pit..."
"I'd still be here-"
"Pit, I am trying to read this book."
"Year after year-"
"Pit!" The commander was really starting to get annoyed.
"Because you're dear to me!"
"Ack!"
"And I know that you-"
"What?" asked Arlon against his better judgement.
"Would accept me toooooooo!" Pit bellowed.
"I would?" Arlon highly doubted that.
"If I told you today-" Pit changed his voice to a falsetto- "Hey! Guess what! I'm gay!-" his voice went back to normal- "But I'm not gay."
"I'm happy just being with you!"
"High button shoes, Pay Joey..." Arlon rambled, not really making any sense but just calling out random things to block out Pit's crooning.
"So what should it matter to me
What you do in bed with guys!"
Arlon blanched. "Pit, that is WRONG!"
Pit shook his head. "No it's not!"
"If you were gay-"
"Argh."
"I'd shout HOORAY!"
"I am NOT listening!"
"And here I'd stay-"
"La la la la!" sang Arlon, covering his ears.
"But I wouldn't get in your way."
"ARGH!" screamed the man, running away from the winged minstrel.
"You could count on me
To always be
Beside you eve-ry day
To tell you it's O-K
You were just born that way
And as they say, it's in your DNA
You're GAAAAAAAAAYY!"
"I AM NOT GAY!" Arlon yelled.
"If you were gay," smiled Pit.
"GAH!" And with that the butler dashed out of the room.
Pit looked around, shocked at his friend's (in his mind, at least) sudden disapperance. "Did I do something wrong?"
*rolls eyes* No, Pit, nothing at all. Hmm... maybe I should write a sequel where Arlon sings about his girlfriend who lives in Canada! What do you think? Should I? Tell me in a review or PM! Peace love and waffles!
