Title: Absence Makes the Heart grow Wiser: The Sequel
Author: Bridget N
Email: n/a
Permission to archive: Yes, just let me know where
Fandom(s): Boston Legal
Genre: Slash
Pairing/Characters: Alan/Denny
Rating: FRT13
Summary: The aftermath of one little kiss.
Warnings: none
Notes: Thanks to Sandy and Chris for their wonderful beta!
It had been a long day at the office for Alan. And longer than usual. Not because he had a lot of paperwork, or because a court appearance with a client didn't go particularly well. It was because of one single kiss. Alan was not known to dwell on one kiss all day. Maybe if he'd had some incredible sex the previous night, he'd let his mind linger on it, but he hadn't. And this kiss was this morning. But not by a woman. But by a man. By his best friend, Denny Crane. On the forehead, but it was a kiss from a supposedly straight man. No wonder Alan couldn't get his mind off of it.
Alan signed the last bit of his paperwork and set it aside for it to be filed. Then he checked his watch. It was 8 o clock. Time to meet Denny on the balcony. But Alan hesitated to leave his office. He knew that tonight would not just be another ordinary night of banter until all hours of the night. Tonight would be sort of awkward. Alan wasn't sure if this awkwardness was going to be on both sides. Alan wondered if Denny was regretting doing what he did that morning. Considering that Alan hadn't seen Denny all day since he had stopped by Alan's office just once that morning, this theory was plausible. And that was what worried Alan. The banter between them for the past few months had been playful, yet subtle. And that's all it had needed to be. Alan was testing the waters to see if there could be something more. But so far, he'd received mixed signals, so Alan was never sure. Therefore, when Denny kissed him on the forehead, something the supposedly heterosexual man would never do to the same sex, it not only shocked, but confused him.
Alan considered going home. 'Well, that wouldn't do any good, will it?' Alan thought. He scowled to himself. He thought he knew where he stood with Denny, but apparently he was wrong. Then he sighed to himself. 'Time to go straighten things out again.'
Denny had been sitting on his balcony for an hour, and he was beginning to get a little ticked off. Where was Alan? It usually wasn't like him to avoid people, especially Denny, because it was bad enough Denny tended to avoid Alan when times got rough between them. How childish it was to think that Alan would do the same.
And sure enough, he walked out onto the balcony, an uneasy expression looking into Denny's eyes.
"Was wondering when you'd show up." Denny remarked dryly, taking a sip of scotch.
"So was I." Alan said as he stood next to Denny, leaning his arms against the railing. "Are we going to talk about why you've avoided me today, or are we just going to pretend we're mind readers and assume?"
"I wasn't avoiding you; I thought you were avoiding me." Denny said, giving Alan a strange look.
"No…" Alan said.
Denny sighed and took another sip of scotch, looking out into Boston skyline. Alan just watched him, wondering what was going on in that head of his. It was a tough job figuring him out sometimes, but a lot of times, it was worth the effort.
Denny at last turned to Alan. "Don't ask me why I….did what I did this morning, I have no idea."
"Well, since I did want to ask you why you did what you did this morning, I see we have a bit of a problem." Alan said.
Denny sighed and put down his cigar and drink. "Maybe it's because….I felt bad." He said, sighing.
"Denny, you didn't need to." Alan said, stepping closer to him. "I'm sure it would have happened even if you were there."
Denny sighed. "Maybe….I'm…" He hesitated and looked down again.
"What?" Alan prodded.
"I'm…sorry." Denny said. He had a vulnerable look in his eyes, like he wasn't used to apologizing for things he did wrong.
"But you didn't do anything wrong." Alan reassured. "I found that kiss to be quite comforting."
Denny growled. "I'm not doing it again."
Alan's heart sank. Denny's ego was taking over, even though deep down he knew he was a caring, sweet person at heart, even if he did all he can to display his ego to cover all that up.
"So the kiss….was a gesture of friendship." Alan said, looking in his eyes, searching for the loving, sweet Denny Crane under that hard, macho shell.
"Don't pressure me, Alan." Denny said, the hard, cold look still in his eyes.
Alan sighed. "I'm not pressuring you. I just...it feels to me like our friendship is...changing. Does it feel that way to you?"
Denny looked at him, dumbstruck. Alan's heart was beating a thousand times per second.
Denny shook his head. "I don't know." He mumbled, and started walking out of the balcony.
Alan's heart again sank. He knew this wasn't going to be easy. He followed Denny on his way out of his office. "Where are you going?"
But Denny didn't answer. He kept walking down the hall, and eventually around the corner, out of sight, not hearing what Alan would say from then on out.
Alan looked out into the empty corridor feeling helpless. It's a feeling he would have to deal with until everything was truly resolved.
Two days had passes since Alan had asked him that earth shattering question on the balcony that the two men enjoyed the silent joy of their friendship almost every night. But when faced with the question that Denny knew the answer to, he froze. He couldn't bring himself to face the fact that he definitely has feelings for Alan. What did Alan see in a 72 year old man whose mind and certain parts of his body were failing him? Even if Alan overlooked his large stature, there was his personality. He was just a grumpy old man. Denny was not about to apologize for his beliefs, but seeing as Alan seemed to be more compassionate than Denny most times, why would Alan go for Denny?
Maybe Alan wasn't interested at all. Maybe he had just asked if Denny was attracted to him, only to reject the same sentiment. That must be it. Denny hung his head in the darkness of his office. He was expecting someone, and unfortunately, she, a lovely hooker who called herself Sugar, would not be treated to Denny's usual good nature. But that of course, was Denny's own fault. He had called her that afternoon with the intention of letting himself forget about Alan and just live in the moment without a care in the world. But he'd been a fool to think he'd forget that quickly. Damn the mad cow. It never let Denny forget the memories he wanted to forget, but always took away the memories that he had wanted to cherish.
Denny jumped when a knock on the door resounded from across the room. He sighed. "Come in." He called.
In waltzed in the thick hipped, fancily dressed Sugar, her hips swaying sexily as she closed the door, locked it, and approached Denny's desk with a smile on her face, holding her arms out to embrace him. Denny managed a smile and hugged her.
"How've you been, baby?" Sugar said, letting go and looking at Denny with a wide smile, genuinely happy to see him.
Denny grunted. "Stressed."
Sugar laughed, and playfully slapped his arm. "You are always stressed." She chided teasingly. "Tell me something I don't know."
Denny scowled, sitting heavily on the couch near his drink cabinet. "More than usual."
Sugar clucked her tongue softly, sitting next to him and caressing his thigh. "Always stressin.' Tell me all about it."
Denny shook his head. No way would he tell her about this. Sure, he had told her a lot of things in the past, but he did not need to see the disgusted look from not only a woman he sought sexual pleasure from on a regular basis, but a confidant. Sugar often sensed when Denny's mind was not focused on the sexual things she had in mind for him, so she would coax them out of him, accompanied sometimes by a back rub. Her sweet voice and her dark chocolate eyes looking patiently at him while he told her his woes had always comforted him, and then in no time Denny would be raring to go. Sugar knew today would be one of those times, and it bugged the hell out of Denny.
"It's just….work and things, you know how crazy people are around here…." Denny mumbled, looking at the wall away from Sugar's eyes.
Sugar smirked. "Especially Alan?" She asked knowingly, as if she could read his thoughts.
Denny glared sideways at her. "I didn't even mention Alan."
Sugar's smirk only grew. "But you were going to. You talk about him all the time."
Denny kept glaring sideways at her. "He's my best friend; of course I'd talk about him."
"But it's the way you talk about him that gets me wondering." Sugar said. "I don't think you've said one bad thing about him. You almost talk about him like he's your…lover or something….and the way you look at him when you talk to him…" Sugar grinned as she came to a realization. "You're attracted to him."
Denny narrowed him eyes at her. He suddenly hated her, not only for suggesting that he was attracted to him, but because she was right.
Sugar just continued to grin. "Well?" She looked at him, apparently waiting for an answer.
Denny, in typical Denny Crane fashion just grimaced and said, "I'm not gay."
Sugar just shrugged one shoulder. "So?"
Denny looked at her. "So?" Denny gave her a funny look. "You don't even seem angry even if I was gay…you're a hooker, a straight one at that."
Sugar smiled, almost sadly. "I know when a man has feelings for his best friend."
"I didn't even say if I was or not!" Denny exclaimed.
"Are you?" Sugar asked, staring.
Denny sighed. "I don't know. I mean, I feel so different around him. Sort of like I did when I was with Bev, but not so pressured. Only I can't really say it to him."
Sugar smiled again. "It's love. I know it is."
Denny's eyes widened. "I didn't say anything about love!"
Sugar sighed. "Look, I'm not going to make you tell me if you don't want to. But you need to decide how you feel about this man. Either way this goes…..my services won't be needed anymore tonight, will it?"
Denny shook his head.
Sugar got up and stood in front of Denny. "I knew this would happen, so I'm not angry. You're still a good friend, Denny, and I wish you luck." Sugar kissed him on the forehead and walked out.
And now Denny felt even more frustrated. He didn't even get a good screw with Sugar to release the tension, just a swirling mind. And blue balls. But Sugar had gotten down to the low down dirty truth. He loved Alan. That much Alan knew, but that love as far as he knew was the love between two close friends. Alan didn't know that Denny just might be IN love with him. Frankly, it scared the hell out of Denny. He didn't know if it was just the confusion brought on by the mad cow, or if it was genuine. It scared the hell out of him that 60 plus years of skirt chasing (and this meant all female skirt chasing, no men in kilts, thank you very much), that at the age of 72, he develops these….feelings for a man.
At least he acknowledged the feelings for him. But now the question was, was he going to act on them? Well, he'd already kissed Alan on the forehead, something he never dreamed of doing, ever. He had taken a chance there, and Alan hadn't freaked at all. So would taking the real chance be worth it?
Denny got up and got his coat. He had no other business at the office tonight. He had to go home and think about things. Which was new for him, if he thought about it.
It was going to be another long night.
Alan headed toward the elevator the next night, not feeling much better than he did the night before. In all truth he was getting annoyed by Denny's continued avoidance. He had sought him out this morning before he went to court for a client's arraignment, but he wasn't there, and Alan didn't see him all afternoon after he got back to file a motion. So Alan wasn't going to go to Denny's balcony tonight, or even wait on his own smaller balcony for him. The ball was in Denny's court now, and Alan was waiting for his move.
He distinctly heard footsteps coming toward his direction just as he pushed the down button by the elevator. Alan figured it was Shirley or Paul or some other late owl, but he absently looked up and saw Denny, staring at him as he ambled over, cigar in hand.
"Did I leave you behind on the balcony this time?" Alan said flatly, his expression unchanging.
Denny sighed. "OK, I've treated you like garbage for the past few days, I deserve that….I came to ask you if you wanted to go for a late dinner. I owe you big time."
"Yes. You do owe me, Denny." Alan said. "But why should I go with you? Getting you to talk lately has been like pulling teeth and you're about the worst patient on Earth."
Denny outwardly cringed a little. "Keep it above the belt will ya?"
Alan smirked, but said nothing.
Denny gave him a sincere look. "So….I want to fix things. Is that wrong?"
Alan shook his head. "Not at all." Alan felt some of the tension melt away as the elevator dinged open. He was relieved that at least Denny was through avoiding him, and it was high time, as well.
Alan gestured towards the elevator door.
"After you, Denny."
Denny and Alan arrived at dinner 30 minutes later after being driven, of course, in Denny's limo. 'When you ride with Denny Crane, you ride in style,' he had said.
They arrived at the place they usually go out for dinner, at the Kama Sutra Indian Restaurant. Denny had once joked that because this was the name of the restaurant, and because it was a name related to sex, it was where a lot of lawyers in the firm did their sexual harassment. In this case, Alan and Denny's conversations at dinner usually consisted of innuendo from both parties. Not tonight, it seemed. They had been quietly talking about a case of Alan's, until it went quiet, and there was an awkward lull in the conversation. Alan never liked this. He decided to break the silence.
"By the way, did I see Sugar at the office the other night again?" Alan asked, sipping his drink.
Denny froze. Alan could tell he was thinking, 'Oh God, he had to bring that up….'
"Yeah." He replied quietly.
"Satisfying as ever?" Alan inquired with a tilt of his head.
"Err….not really…" Denny said, shifting in his chair.
"You two have a falling out?"
Denny shook his head, sipping his drink and looking away.
Alan looked at him, concerned. "Then what happened?"
"Don't really wanna talk about it." Denny again mumbled.
Alan sighed. And so the verbal run around began again. Alan figured even with Denny taking him to dinner, the conversation wouldn't flow very smoothly. Alan still pressed on, trying to ride this awkwardness out.
"Why not?" Alan asked. "I've had my own mishaps with hookers; we could trade stories all night long, I'm pretty sure of that."
Denny poked at his food. "It wasn't so much a mishap as it was….things that was said…..I don't want to talk about it."
Alan smirked. "Hmmm….was it office gossip? You know I love juicy stuff like that."
Denny huffed in frustration. "No! She…thought I was….attracted to you." Denny said this in a rather low tone, obviously not wanting anyone else in the restaurant to hear.
Alan blinked. Sugar, of all people, though Denny was attracted to Alan? This was something he never thought he would hear. Alan gave his confused brain time to process this, and once it did, curiosity took over, and he had to know.
"Are you?" he asked, looking at Denny.
Denny's face froze. He dropped his fork and just stared at Alan. Alan couldn't determine the look on Denny's face. Was it fear? Shock? Or even disgust?
Finally after a long moment, Denny narrowed his eyes at Alan. "Would you stop pressuring me?"
Alan threw down his fork. He'd had enough of this little game. Frustrated he got up and
forcefully dragged Denny out of the restaurant by the wrist. Denny let out a noise of protest, but begrudgingly went with Alan outside. Alan pushed Denny to sit down on the bench outside of the restaurant, and looked him straight in the eye. Denny just stared at him, shocked. "What the hell-"?
"Denny, I am tired of the games. You've been trying to pussyfoot around this for 3 days now!" Alan practically shouted. "I just need to know, what the hell is going on here?"
Denny just looked at him, wide eyed, almost scared.
Alan's face softened. He sat down next to Denny. "Denny….I've been with too many women that have played so many games with my mind….I'm burned out on it. I'm tired of lies; I'm through with mind games. I need you to be the genuine, truthful person that I know you are." Alan squeezed Denny's hand. "Please Denny…tell me the truth."
Denny free hand shook, and he swallowed hard. "For the first time in my life, I'm beginning to think there's more to it than chasing skirts……everything I've wanted has been right in front of me all along….." Denny stared straight into Alan's eyes, and Alan could see the fear in them, as if Alan was ready to reject his love. It made his heart wrench.
"Are…you serious?" Alan asked him in a quiet tone.
Denny nodded, just a little, still gazing at him. Alan's heart raced. So Denny was genuine about this. Alan felt the tension completely slide off him, and he smiled softly. "Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?"
Denny looked Alan straight in the eye. "I need you to be genuine with me now. Are you….you know…."
Alan nodded. "I am." He squeezed Denny's hand "This could be so good for us, Denny. But only if you let it."
Denny appeared to think about this for a moment. This was a good sign, meaning he wasn't about to shut all this down.
"Why don't we ditch this place and head back to my place?" Denny suggested, a naughty gleam appearing in his eye.
'Finally!' Alan wanted to shout. But instead he simply nodded. "Yes….we have a lot to discuss."
Denny chuckled. "Oh screw talking. Let's have sex."
Alan smiled. "Denny, I didn't know you had it in you."
Denny's eyes twinkled. "I don't. Not yet."
Alan smirked teasingly. "I could have sworn you said you'd never have sex with me."
"I'm through with denial, Alan." Denny said. "I'm too old for it."
"I hope you're not too old for everything." Alan said.
Denny leans back on the bench. "Only one way to find out."
He got up, staring at Denny with his own naughty look. "I'll go get the limo."
'I think things are going to be just fine.' Alan thought contently as he walked back toward the door to call the limo back, but before he opened the door, he looked at Denny again. 'No, strike that. Things are DEFINITELY going to be alright.'
FIN
