OF ALL THOSE THINGS
A/N: I have a problem in which I write about Shay and her ex-girlfriends that are probably not good for her. So naturally I wrote a story about Shay and Devon.
SYNOPSIS: [2x21 – Shevon] Shay's relationship with Devon was like an iceberg. Others criticized her on what they could see, not what they couldn't.
SHAY'S phone lights up, and it distracts her from whatever conversation is taking place in 51's common room. There is no name to go along with the text, just a number and two simple words: "I'm sorry."
She immediately knows who is texting her, and she tries her best to maintain her composure, but she didn't do a good job of that when Devon first showed up, and she certainly wasn't doing a good job of it now.
"Was that Devon?" Severide asks, and Shay hardly noticed that he had been looking at her from the other end of the table.
"It's nothing," Shay says after a moment, but she puts her phone in her pocket, and Severide knows that it wasn't just 'nothing'.
"What does she want this time?" Severide asked. "Another TV? Viper Helmet? Or does she just need to wipe her shoes on you again?"
Shay sighed while putting her hands to her temple, not wanting to have this conversation again. "It's nothing, okay?"
"No, it's not just nothing," Severide said a little bit too loudly, which caused the other members of 51 to turn over and look at the two of them. "She is no good, Shay. Everyone here can see she is using you. Why can't you see it?"
Dawson, who was sitting on the couch next to Casey, spoke up. "Kelly, I was there when Devon came into Molly's. She genuinely looked as though she has every intention of paying you, Otis, and Shay back."
"It isn't about the money," Severide responded back. "She could pay everything back and extra, and what she did would never be okay. Ever."
"Severide's got a point," Otis said. "I mean, I do have my Viper Helmet back, but trust is something that cannot be bought back."
"Do you think I don't know that?" Shay finally snapped back as she got up from her seat. "Do you honestly think I haven't gone over what she did every-damn-day?"
Everyone can see that Shay is visibly upset now, and Dawson wants to say something, but Casey touches her arm. Even though Casey knows how deeply Dawson cares for Shay, this wasn't her fight.
"I can't just watch you be used again, Shay. You don't honestly believe that she took the money to bail her father out of jail, do you? She's a lowlife parasite, who only cares about herself."
Shay bit her lip, the way she always did whenever she was angry or annoyed. "I appreciate you looking out for me Kelly, I really do. But with all do respect, back off."
With that, Shay stormed out of the common room. Severide got up to follow her, and this time Dawson had to say something.
"Let her go, Kelly. She feels bad enough as it is."
SHAY found herself in the back of the Ambo, wiping away the tears that had fallen on her face. She was thankful for the alone time. A part of her wonders why she just didn't call the police when Devon had originally showed up, and another part of her already knows why she didn't—and only half of the reason was to try and get some of the stuff that was stolen back.
Her relationship with Devon was like an iceberg. People only judged her for what they could see, not what they couldn't. Yes, Devon had stolen her and roommates' things. And yes, Devon's eccentric personality had some flaws. And yes, Devon had broken her heart. But of all those things Devon was judged on, there were other things that her family at 51 couldn't possibly know about Devon.
It was Devon who wrapped her arms tightly around her trembling body when she woke up screaming from a nightmare she had about Darryl.
It was Devon who drove her beat up van to club, after club, on the nights when her panic attacks would not let her sleep at all.
It was Devon who embraced her when she had a flashback, and rocked her to sleep while she cried in her arms.
It was Devon who listened to her about the problems she was going through.
It was that Devon that made Shay want to give her a second chance, to see if the woman she had fallen in love with was still in there somewhere, even though she had betrayed her in one of the worst possible ways.
It was that Devon, in spite of her messed up childhood and in general, life, was a decent, caring person who just…fell, and didn't know how to ask for help to get back up.
It was that Devon who was there for Shay, when she didn't have to be. It was Devon's arms she remembers feeling around her, and it is Devon's gentle voice she can still hear in her head telling her, 'It's okay. I'm here.'
Shay pulls out her cellphone from her pocket, the message still displayed on her screen. There was a possibility Devon was using her. But a part of Shay believes Devon, when she told her that she used the money to bail her father out of jail, after all, no one goes through that much trouble to return things if they weren't sincere about it.
Shay hits reply on her phone. Maybe she was a bleeding heart, and a sucker for love. But everyone deserved a second chance, and Devon was there for her when she needed her most.
"I know."
