If you want to read a better-formatted version, please go to my Fanfiction Livejournal theblackmonster.
A/N: Uhm, beware the italics because they're there for conversations and thoughts. Since I'm totally known for coherent fanfics that make loads of sense and not italics and everything. (This also lacks things like .. quotation marks. This is where the italics come in handy.) (The lack of quotation marks isn't as bad as it sounds.) (Really.)
Also, this takes place basically directly after Fallout, then it moves towards .. the not too distant future. So, if you haven't seen Fallout and you don't want spoilers, then uh, you probably should not read this.
Disclaimer: I don't own Heroes.
Warnings: Incest, which means Peter/Nathan. Character Death. So, if either of those freak you out, then please, don't read this. I really don't want to freak you out.
Sparks
There is darkness, first.
Light far beyond the black beneath his eyelids, behind his closed eyes, beyond his vision. Black fades into grey. Grey fades into black. Light doesn't fully penetrate the darkness for a long while.
It could almost hurt.
Sounds accompany the darks and lights. Words whisper in the darkness of everything, sometimes appearing when the dark fades into an almost light, but mostly they keep to the black. Soft and soothing, so familiar.
Yelling, talking, some one singing, distantly. In the light.
Some one speaking.
He isn't exactly sure who, anymore.
...dying, there isn't anything... he can't, I won't lose... I'm sorry... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
The darkness leaves him, once. The light is more painful than anything ever before. He turns away from it, seeking the darkness. The absence of everything. It doesn't hurt, in the darkness. Nothing can hurt him there.
Nathan he breathes. Blinks open his eyes.
The light leaves, then. Darkness returns to him, comforting and guards against the pain. He closes his eyes. Whispering sounds, words that seem like love and sleep and rest. It's all right, Peter. Hands thread through his hair. Soft, familiar.
Safe.
Home.
Nathan.
He thinks he says something, but hands still him. He quiets, any movement stops. Hands drift over his eyes, stroke his forehead. Back to his hair. He thinks he says something, then. Don't leave.
Shhh, shhh, Peter. Go back to sleep.
The world drifts. Light fades, darkness returns.
It's okay.
It's okay, I've got you.
He's dying.
He's going to die, and he could very well take everyone along with him when he does so. He can't save the world when his life, his death, is meant to destroy everything and everyone within it.
He stares at Nathan, stares at him until Nathan shifts and turns, darts around the edges without moving under his gaze. His hand catches Nathan's own.
Please he almost whispers, so many things he doesn't say. Tell me that you're lying. Tell me that I won't die. Tell me I won't destroy everything. Tell me I won't kill everyone. Tell me I should stop myself. Tell me I have to.
He looks into Nathan's eyes before either can glance away.
All the answers to question he could never ask lie in them, there, and in that single glance. In that single instant, he can see all the questions. All the answers. I can't. You will. You will. You will. I could never. I would never. Everything he wants to know.
Everything he doesn't.
Nathan looks away first.
Nathan he breathes once more, and Nathan looks back at him. Don't leave me, please.
Go to sleep, Peter, you need to rest.
Nathan looks into his eyes, he looks into Nathan's. Nathan doesn't glance away, he closes his eyes. He thinks tell me that you love me. His eyes open briefly, they close.
He already knows the answer.
He thinks, perhaps, when the darkness returns and the light starts to fade away, that he can feel Nathan's hands in his hair once again. Lips that brush over his forehead, softly. He thinks, perhaps, he can hear a whisper of I love you more than you'll ever know in the darkness.
The world drifts away. Sound and touch fade, Nathan stays.
He sleeps.
He looks out the window, once, with Nathan's hand in his own. The sun is shining, he doesn't want the light anymore. Too bright, too harsh for his eyes. Too much to take in all at once.
He wants to see the moon.
He wants to see the stars.
He wants to see the world outside of the window, a blanket of darkness and tiny lights covering it. To see the world in the almost absence of light, that comforting darkness.
To live, see the world, feel the grass beneath him. Look at the moon, the stars, feel the breeze flowing through his hair.
The sadness over the light shows in his face when he glances back to Nathan, after the sun, and Nathan frowns at him. He untangles his hand, turns on his side, faces away from the light. Closes his eyes.
Peter.
It's not a question of are you all right or what's wrong. It's a statement of there's something wrong with you and tell me what it is.
He frowns, too.
It's too bright for me, now. I hate being here, like this. I want to go outside. He thinks I want to live. He never says I don't want to die.
He cracks his eyes open, looks at Nathan, who looks at him.
I want to see the stars again.
Here Nathan whispers to him, cup and pills press into his hands. He takes them. Takes these. Go to sleep. It'll be better, later. You need to rest, sleep, Peter. Go to sleep.
He takes the pills, swallows the water.
Go to sleep is Nathan's answer for everything, but he does, regardless. He knows when he sleeps that Nathan let's everything go away. Knows hands thread through his hair, words that are never spoken become whispers to fill the growing silence.
Sleeping means the darkness, the light going away, and Nathan. There, just beyond the edge of the darkness. Waiting for him.
Everything goes away, it doesn't hurt anymore.
He could remember, he doesn't want to.
He forgets.
He wakes to the breeze flowing through his hair, the smell of grass filling the air, the stars and moon shining above him. Almost too bright for him to stand, but it doesn't hurt. Not with the feeling of life and nature and alive, the world, surrounding him.
In Nathan's arms.
Their feet don't touch the ground.
Nathan he breathes.
He closes his eyes, leans back, into Nathan, feels the warmth of those arms around him. Feels both of their hearts beating, and the breathing that causes his hair to stir, only a little.
He holds his breath.
Nathan he breathes, once more, just one more time.
The world is silent.
They drift, in the starlight, in the moonlight. Everything fades away.
Silent, and perfect.
Nathan he breathes.
Floating, tangles in the starlight and moonlight, with Nathan. He closes his eyes, feels everything. All, any, of the light is far too bright for him now. The darkness leaves him, everything. Everyone does.
Nathan stays.
He thinks, perhaps, he might whisper to Nathan, then. I love you, and I destroy you. I take everything away from you. The world ends, and I end everything. I stop, and I should stop. But I don't know how.
Hands fist into his hair, gently. Nathan kisses him so softly, so familiar, and he can almost hear thoughts of you break and I can't stop you from breaking, but it's okay.
He kisses back harshly, they fall to the ground, but that's okay, too.
They both know he's already breaking as Nathan kisses him again, pulls both of their shirts over both of their heads. I could stop it he breathes out as Nathan's hands trail all over his skin, run through his hair.
He thinks I've never known how to leave you even as Nathan whispers you don't, you stay.
Nathan he breathes, and even behind his closed eyes the world changes and shifts. Tears itself apart over him, he can no longer hide from this. The darkness does not return, he cannot hide in the light. Please, don't leave me.
Nathan wraps his arms around him, holds onto him, so familiar. Saves him, takes everything away, brings him home, in his arms. Nathan.
He opens his eyes. He thinks he might be crying, he thinks that maybe, Nathan might be too. He thinks that their tears could almost look like stars in a world as bright as this one.
Tell me that you love me.
I love you, Peter, always.
It hurts.
It burns.
It stops, finally.
The world ends.
Together.
