Disclaimer: Y'all already know! I don't own and if I did I probably wouldn't tell:)
Wonder
by ambinlovewlove
Chad walked into his apartment beat after a twelve hour shift as an Albuquerque deputy sheriff. All he wanted was food, a cold beer and sleep. He threw his duffle bag in the closet and dumped his mail on the side table next to the door along with his keys. Kicking off his shoes as he walked toward the galley style kitchen he saw a covered plate in the microwave waiting for him. Chad smiled to himself. Taylor was really something else. Making sure that he had something to eat when he came home even while taking care of her sick mother was thoughtful of her. Chad pulled his cell phone from the hip holder and pressed speed dial as he pushed a button on the microwave to go.
The line to the other phone went to voicemail. "Hey Tay, just calling to thank you for dinner. You didn't have to do that cause I know how busy you are taking your mom to therapy." Chad wandered over to the side table by the door and picked through the pile of mail. Noticing a pale rose embossed envelope he turned it over to see who sent it. "Give me a call back later baby, love you bye." Chad finished the call absently and looked at the return address in an elaborate scrawl. This couldn't be from who he thought it could be. What would she want to contact him about anyway? He went back into the kitchen and bypassed the food and went straight for the long neck bottle of beer sitting on the top shelf in the fridge. Chad cracked it open and took a long swig before sitting down at the kitchen table with the mysterious letter. He didn't see any point in torturing himself so he ripped open the envelope and started reading.
Dear Chad,
It might be a mistake writing you this letter. Considering how things ended between us you probably don't care about anything that I have to say. However, its been hanging over my head like a dark cloud for months now and I guess...I figured writing you might help me clarify some things mentally. Being able to talk to you in person would be fabulous but I understand that's not going to happen. I promise not to ever bother you again if you can give me an answer to a question that I have.
Do you ever think of me anymore? Do you wonder what could have been between us? We had a moment there, you and I. Really good times. We could have been great. That year was the most alive I've ever felt in my life. I was wondering if you felt the same? I grew so much in that short period of time and discovered a part of myself with you that I never thought was there. Our dreams seemed so big and so far away during our late night talks while walking through campus.
I hear you gave up your basketball ambitions to go into law enforcement. I guess congratulations are in order. I don't ever recall you showing an interest in that career field when we were dating but people change. I also hear you and Taylor are back together. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Ok, I'm lying. Why get back with her? What makes her so special out of all of the beautiful women you've met? Is that what you really wanted the whole time you were with me? Although I never understood what you thought was special about Taylor I always got the sense that you never really got over her. It seems she felt the same. I'm not bitter about it, though I could probably use that as an excuse for my behavior. I won't though. There's no excuse for what I did to you. Its so sad that I'm only now realizing that. I'm not trying to start any trouble this time. I'm pretty sure if I did Taylor would be all over me like a rottweiler at a dog fight.
I just wanted to know if I made an impact on you like you did on me. Even after all these years its not just your love and affection I miss. I miss the genuine friendship that you offered so freely. Which was surprising enough considering our history. I didn't take that as seriously as I should have. I would like for us to be friends now. I understand that the actions of the past...my actions and whatever feelings you have left for me might prevent this. I didn't write this to disrupt your life, but I'd like to know if I was ever important to you.
with love,
Sharpay
Chad finished his beer and got up and grabbed another and downed half the contents before rereading the letter. It had been almost three years and now she decided to show some remorse. Leave it to Sharpay to write an apology letter without an apology. Chad applauded her growth but he had long since moved on. He had never planned on even crossing paths with Sharpay while they both attended the University of Albuquerque but this place always played like a small town. They both ended up in a few of the same core classes and even worked on a couple of projects together. Seems like her head of ideas weren't only good for scheming. Sharpay was actually kind of bearable when she stopped acting like the world should revolve around her. Chad found himself letting his guard down and before he knew it they were spending most of their free moments together. He found that Sharpay could be sweet if only a bit more high maintenance than the average girl. While nobody is all bad or evil or whatever for Sharpay it was difficult to not revert to default diva status. Whenever she wouldn't get her way she would manipulate Chad until she did. He tried to reason with her that nobody gets their way all the time but she would just laugh at him. He had been willing to overlook this particular personality flaw because Chad had started to fall for Sharpay. Chad knew he was far from perfect but every man has his breaking point. What Sharpay did to him...to them was the straw that broke the camel's back. He took the letter and tore it up.
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