Chapter 1
Rain pattered against the glass, icy rivers meandering and looping in an endless cycle, the hazy mist clung to the earth, ghostly tendrils gliding softly, almost a caress; desperate and deathly.
It was on nights like these that I could be still, the night air was fresh and crisp, damp, calming... but tonight, there was a strange tension, like a taught wire, straining, and with the right pressure, ready to snap.
'It's like they are waiting for something', I murmured to the empty room, I surveyed the shadows, the empty corners and dusty walls... home, as I liked to call it, a hollow shell of a house, it's stagnant walls cloyed the air with the stench of dampness, of decay and past anguish.
I laughed softly, 'But you're just a wall', I shifted from my perch by the window, crossing the room and hesitantly lay my hand on the wall, 'Just a wall...', a strange melancholy crept through me, and I sighed... when would it stop?
I glared half heartedly, 'I have enough negative emotions as it is, I don't need you making it worse.'
Great, talking to walls now, I seriously need my head looked at...
A quick glance out the window told me that the rain had stopped, or at least receded to a steady trickle, I decided a walk would clear my head and mabye shake the gloom away. Grabbing my coat, I raced down the stairs and through the kitchen, apparently we were having some kind of stew tonight, shredded carrot and bits of potato littered the floor, mum always left a mess after cooking, even when she makes cereal!
As I attempted to manouver through the vegetable minefield, a tan head suddenly pops through the door.
'Wah!', startled, I slipped on a rogue potato skin, 'Ugh...'
A loud laugh distracts me from comforting my poor, abused bottom, 'It wasn't that funny, I could have been seriously hurt! Stupid potato...' I grumbled.
'Now, now... potatoes have feelings to you know.', she teased, 'It didn't ask to be stepped on.' I staggered to my feet, trying to salvage what was left of my dignity, 'Well, it hardly asked to be sliced and diced either, you really could be a little tidier about these things!'
The look of hurt that crossed her face made me inwardly wince, I had been a little sharper than nessessary, 'I'm going out for a walk, when will dinner be ready?'
Quickly brushing it off, she gave me a small smile and said, 'In about fifteen minutes, give or take, so don't wander far or it'll get cold.', I grimaced, cold stew was disgusting... thick and lumpy, like something you would feed a pig (not that I had actually tasted pig food!) and with the microwave busted, I would have to choose between a long night of complaining stomach, or pig slop.
'Don't worry, I won't be long!', as I strode towards the door I turned to wave, and froze, she looked close to tears, worry in her face making her look years older.
'Um.. mum?', I stood hesitantly, unsure, 'Is everything ok?', I could almost smell her agitation, see her struggle with the overwhelming emotions that seemed to radiate from her hunched form, 'Mum, please...'
Suddenly, she snapped upright, stiffly wrapping her arms around me, 'I'm fine... just... be careful, Ok?', I felt her iron grip tighten almost painfully, and I felt fear lance through my spine, I gave her an uneasy smile, what caused this change?
'I'm only going for a stroll', I reassured, a little confused 'I promise i'll come home for dinner, don't worry so much.', gently, I prised her arms from my waist, and backed away.
'A promise... yes, a promise.', she smiled weakly, drained, arms falling limply to her sides, 'I guess i'm just a little tense...', she turned towards the cooker, suddenly oblivious to my presence.
I scrambled towards the door as discretely as possible, trying to avoid another soppy episode, snatching my bag off the hanger as I burst out into the night, a dark blur disapearing into the curtain of rain... as the cool wind washed over my flushed skin I began to relax, breathing a sigh of relief I began to move purposely towards the trees, seeking respite in the leafy haven.
My brain swirled, a cataclysm of all too familiar feelings, a cocktail of frustration, denial, anger, guilt and a passive acceptance that nothing would change, but most of all, fear. Fear for my mother, myself and the fear that one day, the dam would break; that the fragile, miniscule piece of normality, our family, would be torn apart.
How long would I last?
My brother left only a few years ago, he nearly broke under the strain, struggling with trying to support a growing teenager, his job at the transport company and my mothers unpredictable -often violent- nature, I should have noticed the signs, the evidence that he was fading away, becoming detached from me, from us. Mabye I chose not to see it, see how broken, how irrepairably shattered our bonds had become; but it still hurt.
When he suddenly dissapeared, all those years ago, leaving nothing but a note; a crude, scribbled apology on a sticky note of all things!, I had felt myself shatter... emotions, bonds, they meant so much to me... he left, just like my friends, one by one they walked out of my life; it wasn't enough for them, I wasn't enough... not even for my own brother!
Enraged, I gave a muffled scream, punching the side of a tree.
A dull, throbbing pain pulses steadily through my arm, curiously, I inspect my hand, watching the blood seep through torn skin with a calm facination, I was so fixated on my hand that at first, I failed to notice the spike of cold, thickening mist dragging itself along the ground, steadily enveloping the small clearing I had occupied.
Pulling my arms tighter against my body, I began to head home, only to realise that I didn't know which way home was!
Fear uncoiled itself in my stomach, I whirled around, getting more and more distressed, as I came to the conclusion that I was lost. 'Ok, calm down... I just need to find the oak, then it's a straight path home.', reassured, as I have a good sense of direction, almost instinctive, as my brother used to say, that drew me home.
But as the minutes ticked by, I was getting nowhere, the forest seemed to close in, and the pull of home was dull, confused... garbled like the white noise that comes from the radio, when I was younger, I would listen to it and believe that I could hear the voices of many chattering people, sometimes I would even hear a clear voice, with a cryptic message from beyond the grave... advertising cheap mattresses, cause vengful spirits need jobs too!
The tension was almost tangible now, heavy and thick, like a huge steel blanket threatening to crush me underneath, I snickered slightly at the image. 'It's so... quiet.', The forest was still.
No chirping, or rustling. Or the telltale murmur of the nearby stream that I used to play by. It was like the sounds of the night were absorbed, muffled by the un-naturally dense mist and it was unsettling. For the first time I became fully aware of my surroundings, only to feel nothing... like I was truly alone, and it was terrifying. I was at the mercy of my mind, which had a tendency to be sadistic.
Something flickered at the corner of my eye, startled, I tensed, swinging round to see empty space.
'It was just my damn imagi-', suddenly, something flashed before me wrenching me towards the centre of the clearing. Towards the darkness, a vast swirling mist of black smog that pulled me closer. (Jeesh, was I blind or something?)
With a strangled cry, I fell through the darkness; my mouth opened in a soundless scream as my vision blurred, I slipped into a sweet oblivion.
~Thank you for taking the time to read this. I'll admit, i'm not a skilled writer; far from it! But I do enjoy a new challenge, I want to improve, so please don't hesitate to comment, or point out any errors - I'd be very grateful for the advice!~
