Kai: Hehe...i've been reading "Heart no Kuni no Alice" too much, and now i've been suddenly inspired to make an Alice in Wonderland based fanfic for FMA. This is a crossover, and our first one too.

Yui: I think it's a stupid idea.

Kai: But imagine Envy as the Cheshire Cat!

Yui: Ah, Uh...AWWWWWWWW! fine. Edward in Wonderland it is.

Kai: We have a "Cat person" fetish.

Yui: That we do! We are a pair of perfectly normal fan people who like cat people! Anyone got a problem with that?

~STORY START~

Edward yawned, lounging on the green, soft grass on a hill. The sky was a bright blue, with just a little bit of cloud cover, creating the perfect sky to look at. The sun was blindingly bright, but the shade of a tree allowed him to stare at the sky and keep his vision.

Alphonse was with Winry, picking out clothes for the yearly "Dance on the Green" in Resembol, a lively dance around a bonfire where laughter and fun was had for hours into the night, often ending with a satisfied collapse into bed. This year he looked forward to it because he got to dance with Winry, and he had to admit, she was looking beautiful lately. Maybe it was just the surge of hormones that came naturally with age, but he had been taken with an urge to take her by the wrist and go somewhere secret and just make out. He knew that he let her pick his clothes, and he knew that he'd probably totally disagree with her choice, but put it on just to satisfy her.

A cool breeze began blowing, making his braid blow out just a little. He was sleepy, spending most of the previous night learning how to dance from Winry. Pinanko knew about the dance lesson at night, she didn't know when he collapsed on the couch and she got on top and they sucked face with each other. That's probably why he'd been wondering during every moment of the day "When will it happen next?"

Closing his eyes, feeling the breeze blow over his face, teasing his hair, he allowed himself to doze off. He slept soundly for a while, an then...

"Hmph, another one of you pitiful humans."

Edward opened his eyes to see a large caterpillar sitting on a mushroom, smoking a hookah. The caterpillar's expression was one of annoyance. "I keep running into you fools here and there, it's just so...irritating..."

Ed sat up, wondering why a caterpillar was talking.

"You want to know when she'll kiss you again? What a loser." the caterpillar snorted. "My name is Carter Pillar, and I am a dream dealer. I give you your deepest desire, in exchange that you smoke this hookah." The caterpillar, Carter, held it out. "You want her to kiss you and love you right? Well, at the present, she doesn't like you. She likes your brother."

"What?" Ed exclaimed, not believing what he heard.

"It's true." Carter remarked as if he actually felt sorry for Edward. "But... I can change that. All you gotta do is smoke this."

Edward reached out for it. He wanted Winry to be his. Sure, he would have been happy for Al if they got married, but... he loved her. Hesitating before sticking it in his mouth (pun intended) he tried to see anything bad about this. The worst that could happen was that he got addicted to it, or that he got sick. He put it in and sucked (again, pun intended).

A swirling maelstrom of color exploded in his eyes, causing him to pass out. The last thoughts that he had were "Whoa, what was in there?" and "Am i high?"

"Hey! Wake up!"

Edward's eyes opened to find a white rabbit staring at him intently. Dressed in a little red plaid suit with black dress pants. A pocket watch, the kind on a chain, hung around his neck and over his arm like a bandolier.

Wait a second. Was the rabbit wearing clothes?

The rabbit came over and poked him the face repeatedly. "Hey! Time for you to chase the rabbit now! Up up up!"

Edward wanted to just ignore it, just pretend like it didn't exist, but it kept poking him. Eventually, he just slapped it away. "Go away...mmpphhh..."

The rabbit seemed just plain annoyed. Edward closed his eyes again, just wanting to rest. Perhaps it gave up...

Suddenly, Edward found himself slung over someone's shoulder, and being taken somewhere. His eyes shot open.

"Hey! What the hell?" Edward shouted, just to be interrupted by the person, who Edward realized had, had...

Rabbit ears?

"Please don't yell into my ear sir, it hurts me from my head to my fur." The person said. He wore the same as the rabbit, but he had white hair and rabbit ears and round little glasses...

Oh. My. God. Was he high on something? He was seeing people with animal ears? Great God, what the hell?

"Where are you taking me?" Edward shouted, totally ignoring the rabbit/man's protests and twitches.

"Calm down would you? You see once that hole we go through!" The rabbit/man replied.

Edward paled. "Wait, what hole?"

"That one." and with a heave, the rabbit/man hurled Edward through the air, and into a large, deep hole.

" YYYYYOOOOOOOUUUUU LLLLLIIIITTTTLLLLEEE!"

"Ahahahaha! Don't worry my little Edward! I'll being jumping in onward!" Ed blacked out, not believing what was happening.