This was originally going to be a oneshot, but I figured I would just turn it into a, maybe, six short chapter story. I mean, it would probably be pretty long as a oneshot...plus I would like to get this out bit by bit for feedback and such. So...enjoy my new story! :)

Oh, by the way, each chapter will be named for the person Clare will be spending it with. Just to let everybody know. Okay, moving on.

Decisions

1. K.C.

Clare was misguided. Unfortunate. Out of luck. Somebody must be messing with her life.

K.C. was the ex-boyfriend, the one was her first love. He broke her heart when he left her for her friend, Jenna, and then proceeded to get her pregnant.

But by then Clare had found Eli, though she sometimes still pined for K.C. Eli was so different from K.C., but in some ways they were alike. They didn't care about rules or what people thought of them.

Eli, however, seemed to care more about Clare. He was protective, sheltering her from his past and therefore harboring many secrets. Sometimes it was overwhelming for Clare, trying to maintain their relationship and handle his rivalry with Fitz.

Fitz. Clare never held anything against him until he tried to stab Eli. She wanted to avoid Fitz when he got out of Juvie, but his sudden enlightenment about Jesus made her want to help him. He needed it.

Everybody knew that Clare was dating Eli. But K.C. and Fitz…they didn't seem to care.


"K.C., focus!" Clare snapped, whacking his hand with her pencil.

"Sorry," he groaned, rubbing his sleep-filled eyes.

"I know you're tired," Clare sighed, "but you need to get back on track with your homework."

"Jenna won't stop nagging me, and the baby won't stop crying," K.C. complained. "I wouldn't stay with Jen if it weren't for the baby."

Clare shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Anyway, back to Algebra…"

"Clare." Clare looked at him, and K.C. continued. "I'm sorry. For everything I've ever done to you. I know I've apologized before, but…I really do mean it this time. I miss you."

Clare's stomach lurched, and she could feel her old feelings for K.C. coming back. "K.C., I…"

And then her arms were around him, breathing in the scent she had missed so much. K.C. clutched her closer to him, burying his face in her shoulder.

Clare knew this wasn't just a huge between friends; her racing heart told her so.

Clare stifled a gasp when she felt warm lips on her neck, trailing upwards. She closed her eyes as K.C. kissed the hollow under her jaw, then hungrily moved along her jaw line. He brushed his lips against Clare's before finally crashing his lips onto hers.

Clare knew this was wrong. She loved Eli, and she didn't want to hurt him. But this felt so right.

K.C. pulled away to press his lips to her neck again, his fingers traveling over her stomach to the buttons of her shirt. He swiftly began to unbutton it, pulling her shirt off.

"Wait, hold on," Clare gasped.

K.C. stopped, looking at her. "What?"

"I can't…Eli…I just can't." Clare shook her head, picking her shirt off of the ground.

She wanted K.C., so badly. She truly did. She almost resented telling him no, but she had to do what's right, even if it wasn't what she wanted.

Why don't you just leave Eli if you want K.C. so bad?

Because K.C. is going to be a father. It would be wrong.

And because you don't want to hurt Eli.

"Eli doesn't have to know," K.C. whispered. "This doesn't have to be serious…You can just come to me whenever you need to get away from him."

Clare opened her mouth, about to protest that that was a bad idea, when she reconsidered it. There were times, pretty often now, when she couldn't stand being around Eli and his possessiveness; it would be nice to be able to take a few breaks every now and then.

"Okay," Clare agreed slowly, "but this stays between us; you can't run and tell all of your friends."

"I won't," K.C. promised.

"And we won't be meeting in public. I don't want to rouse any suspicions. As far as everybody knows, I still hate you."

"Fine, but I'm not going to enjoy thinking that you hate me," K.C. murmured, kissing her again.

"Sorry," Clare muttered. "Oh!" She pushed K.C. away. "Another rule - no sex."

K.C. groaned. "But this is an affair! Sex is the whole point!"

"Looks like we both had different motives," Clare remarked dryly, raising an eyebrow. "Two years and you still don't know me very well."

"I thought you might just break a few more rules since you're already going to cheat and all."

"It's not cheating," Clare mumbled guiltily.

"Sure it isn't."

"I think you should leave now. I'll call you," Clare said curtly, closing their textbooks and packing up his backpack for him. She thrust the backpack into K.C.'s arms.

K.C. rolled his eyes, slinging the bag over his shoulder. "Please do." He leaned down and quickly kissed Clare on the cheek before retreating from the house.

Clare waited until she heard her front door open and close before she began to wildly pace around the living room.

Why did she agree to this? She had been so sure that Eli was her one and only. Clare thought that she loved him. She did love him, didn't she?

Clare knew about all of the pain Eli had gone through in his life, so why would she add to it? He had told her countless times how glad he was to have her, how he couldn't be without her.

But maybe that was just it. His possessiveness of her was starting to grow into something…like an obsession. Eli always had to be by her side, always touching her, kissing her, soothing her with words of endearment.

Clare had enjoyed it all for awhile, but lately she felt trapped in this relationship. Everything that had happened with Fitz recently and Eli's reaction to it made Clare feel less 'loved' by Eli and more needed, as a possession, like how one needs food to survive. She wasn't sure if there was any relationship or romance anymore. Not to mention Eli's mental breakdown; how could she keep him in a happy place when he had such a dark past? Now it seemed as if the relationship was all about Eli's feelings and keeping Eli happy; Clare's feelings could no longer be taken into consideration.

But she wasn't sure if she wanted out of it just yet.

And that must be why she agreed to K.C.'s proposition. He provided her with an escape when Eli began to suffocate her, but without Clare having to back out of her relationship with Eli. It gave her happiness and the opportunity to decided what she truly wanted.

The question was, should she really risk her relationship - and possibly Eli's mental health - just for her to feel happy and comfortable?

Author's Note: Yes, Clare is out of character again, but it's because she's really confused after everything that happened in Jesus Etc. She's questioning Eli's sanity and why she even sticks with him.

I wonder where this will lead? You guys will just have to keep reading to figure it out. ;) By the way, I ship Eclare all the way. Just so you all know. xD Review, please! :)