Hi guys! I have finally figured out Ellie's whole story. If you've never read my other fic, The First Sister, it's not that big of deal-- Ellie is Edward's long-lost twin sister who mysteriously has powers of her own. Now, 20 years after joining the Cullens, Ellie has some self-discovery of her own to be doing. This is going to be a bit longer, but I promise it's worth your time!!
As always, I don't own any of Stephenie Meyer's ideas... this is just what happens when you have an overactive imagination and too much time on your hands :) This go around, I also don't own any of the chapter titles... those are just song titles I've borrowed.
1. Going Through Changes
It's hard to accept what you don't understand
And it's hard to launch without knowing how to land
And how, when it burns, you can't change a thing
You can soften the blow, but you can't stop the sting
- Going Through Changes by Army of Me
Washington State, Spring of 1940
Ellie Cullen crashed gracefully through the thick green growth in the forest near her new home in the wild northwest of the country. It was one of the most desolate, gray places she had ever seen before, and the perfect location for her family to finally be reunited after being apart for the past five years. With the near-constant cloud coverage, her family could go out on the town and interact with the townspeople almost every day if they wanted to... almost like they were normal.
Despite the fact that she was wearing an old pair of Emmett's boots, she still maneuvered the forest well. The trees thinned out as she plunged further into the forest, and Ellie found herself in a clearing not unlike one she had visited 20 years ago to the day today. It was infinitely more lush, though. She felt like she was in an exotic rain forest in Brazil or somewhere equally exciting. Not that she had ever been to any of those places before.
It was a perfectly symmetrical circle, and she stopped briefly to wonder at nature's random perfection. Wildflowers were growing everywhere, and it was the first place she had seen in weeks that had any color other than gray and green. There were yellow, purple, blue, and red flowers splattered throughout the clearing, trying to break through the thick greenness of the place.
Ellie had a sudden impulse to lie down in the exact center of the clearing. Not caring if the dress she wore got ruined, she closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of the forest. It was soft here, and peaceful.
Since Ellie had joined the family, they had moved to upstate New York, where Carlisle found Rosalie, and then to the hills of Tennessee, where Rosalie found Emmett, and now to Washington state. As Carlisle had predicted, Ellie hadn't aged a week, and her supernatural qualities were as strong as ever.
Rosalie had become the older sister Ellie joked she had never wanted. Ellie got along with her much better than her twin did (Rose and Edward were like oil and water, Esme would say), but the girls still squabbled occasionally, like any true sisters. There were times when Rose could be an absolute snob, a trait Ellie had never been able to relate to, and that was when she found herself disagreeing with Rose most often. Rosalie also had a fiery, shameless temper. No one who stood in her way could win.
Nevertheless, Rose had some serious emotional scars, just like Ellie and Esme, and the three women were inextricably bonded to one another. The night Rose had gone on her revenge killing spree in Rochester, it was Ellie who found her, calmed her down, and brought her back home.
When Rose found Emmett, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Emmett was the comic relief of the family, and had the unique gift of being able to diffuse just about any serious situation. Emmett got along with everyone, and was incredibly easy going. He had accepted becoming a vampire without a fuss, most likely due to Rosalie. He was Rose's other half (her better half, on some days), and was the only one who was ever able to calm her down. The two were head-over-heels in love with one another, and Ellie was extremely happy when the two decided to get married.
Ellie's mind flitted from thought to thought in the clearing, just like a hummingbird stealing nectar from a group of flowers. Finally, her thoughts settled on her siblings' return, as they almost always did lately. It was nice to be an only child for the first time in her almost forty years of life, but it was lonely being the only one in the house with Esme and Carlisle. Although she was looking forward to seeing Rosalie and Emmett come home after their five year, world-wide honeymoon, she couldn't help worrying that they had changed.
And, as always in the past five years, her thoughts found their way to Edward. Rose and Em had run into him in Russia, and they had sent a letter saying he was ready to come home. They weren't sure when, but they could tell it would be sometime soon. In the week since she and her parents had gotten that letter, Ellie had woken up every morning with a sinking feeling of dread, wondering if today would be the day he would show up at their doorstep.
Ellie frowned, and worked to push that thought back out of her head. She hadn't spoken to Edward since Rosalie and Emmett's wedding five years ago, and she wasn't looking forward to seeing him again. Although ever fiber in her being ached from missing him, the words they had exchanged before he left to "discover himself" ran through her mind on constant repeat. She tried to push them away, but failed, and lost herself in her flawless memories as the sound of the forest surrounded her.
In the twenty years Ellie had been a Cullen, her abilities had remained as strong as ever. Sometimes she wondered if she was even more able than her family—at least with her sense of smell, she was able to pick up on things that the others didn't really notice. For instance, when Rosalie and Emmett had joined their family, only Ellie was able to pick up on their changing scent as they transformed from human to vampire. For a few months after their respective transformations, the sweet scent that Ellie associated with her family became too sweet and icy fresh, and she got into the habit of automatically opening the windows in whatever room she entered to tone down the smell. She had been ashamed when Edward figured out what she was doing, but it had been the only way she was able to stay in the house for extended periods of time.
She had found that she was even able to hunt. She had secretly gone out with Emmett one afternoon, and after he gave her a few pointers, she caught a deer with her bare hands. Granted, it wasn't nearly as hard for her as it was for him because something about her seemed to attract the animal, but Emmett told her it still counted in his book after she had let the deer go. After that day, she would sneak out and challenge herself with what she could catch. After she had managed to wrestle a giant grizzly bear to the ground, she came home to Emmett proud as anything, even if she had been almost shredded by the beast.
However, there were still a few differences between herself and the rest of the Cullens, besides her more perceptive nose. For instance, she couldn't run half as fast as they could, and she didn't have their thirst for blood. In fact, she was repulsed by the smell that would sometime come in with her family after hunting. She didn't eat, but she slept, and her heart still beat as strong as ever.
After experimenting one day, she and Emmett discovered that her blood didn't quench vampires' thirst like other blood. In fact, Emmett told her that her blood made him woozy for a few hours and numbed his senses a little bit. He nicknamed her "Moonshine" for the intoxicating effects and strong, bitter taste her blood had. Edward, Rose, and Esme had been furious after they discovered what she and Emmett had been up to. Carlisle, on the other hand, was absolutely fascinated and conducted a few experiments of his own, coming to the same conclusion they had—after reprimanding Emmett and Ellie nonetheless for being irresponsible, of course (after Esme's chiding).
For a year or so leading up to Rosalie and Emmett's wedding, the six Cullens lived as a happy family. Or so it would seem. Ellie couldn't quite place her finger on exactly when the change started, but something in Edward seemed to crack during all the wedding planning.
He had been going through a cantankerous phase; everyone in the family had picked up on it. Emmett called Edward the "Sullen Cullen," much to his chagrin. Ellie guessed she was the only one who knew exactly what he was thinking and feeling, however. Esme assumed he was lonely without a mate; Carlisle said he needed to get a hobby.
The fact of the matter was that Edward began questioning his own humanity, for a lack of a better word. Although he would play it off in his frequent theological discussions with Carlisle, Ellie knew that Edward was thinking he had no soul, and thus no shot at an afterlife, no matter how pious a vampire he was. He thought of himself as a monster. Shortly after Ellie realized that, Edward started blocking his thoughts from her, something he had never done in the 15 years that had passed since they had first found each other that fateful day. It was disconcerting. Ellie was worried about her twin as the days to Rose's wedding grew nearer, but that concern got pushed to the side, as being Rosalie's maid of honor was a full-time job.
The night after Rosalie and Emmett's wedding, once the newlyweds had been sent on their honeymoon, Ellie was home by herself, reveling in the calm of her family home. Edward hadn't gone hunting in a while (his eyes had been black as tar during the ceremony), so she assumed he was out in the woods somewhere, trolling for mountain lions. She thought the fresh air and some alone time might do him well. She was downstairs playing around on the piano when she heard a scratching of pen against paper coming from somewhere in the house.
Carlisle and Esme weren't around (Ellie didn't really want to know where they were, judging by the way they were looking at each other all doe-eyed during the ceremony), and Ellie's curiosity piqued over who was home. She smelled Edward and absently wondered how he had snuck past her. There was something acrid about his scent, and she could only guess what he had tracked in from the woods. She stopped playing, and followed the sound and scent into Carlisle's office upstairs.
Opening the door, she saw Edward hunched over a sheet of paper, scribbling a note. There was a packed bag at the door, and he was dressed for traveling, jacket and all. Ellie looked searchingly at the back of Edward's head, trying to tap into his thoughts, to no avail.
"You smell funny," she had said jokingly, about to flop onto the leather sofa across from Carlisle's desk. "So where are we going this time?"
If there was any benefit to having her twin as a partner-in-crime in this house full of perfectly matched lovers, it was the random adventures Edward would drag her on whenever things got too mushy. She loved their trips, but was surprised he hadn't mentioned anything about it before. It was no matter; she was just as fast as he was, and could probably pack and be downstairs, ready to go, in under five minutes.
He looked up at her painfully, and she froze, mid-flop. Her brother's eyes were a deep, rich ruby. They were much darker than either Rose or Emmett's had been when they underwent their transformation, and it made him look incredibly sinister. She knew there was only one reason for his eyes to not be their usual shade of brown.
He had been hunting, only this time humans instead of giant cats. The acrid smell she picked up around him was the scent of human blood. Acid rose up in the back of her throat as she looked at her brother in disgust. His stench was burning her eyes and nose now, and it raised the small hairs on the back of her neck and down her arms.
"Edward, what happened?" She spoke through her hand, which covered her nose and mouth, trying to filter out his stinging stench.
"Nothing happened." Edward's voice was cold and inhuman, and very different than what Ellie was used to. It hurt her ears to hear him speak. If her hands weren't so preoccupied with covering her mouth in shock, they probably would have gone to cover her ears.
"What do you mean, nothing happened? This was just a mistake, right?" She wasn't ready to believe that her brother had killed someone willingly, but the way he was acting, she was beginning to have her doubts.
"It was no mistake."
"You mean to tell me you hunted someone? A person? With a family and children and a job and people who loved them? Was it someone we know?" Her words were coming out quickly, and she could tell she was on the verge of hyperventilating. Her brother had just ended someone's life. On purpose.
"Ellie, listen to me. He was a bad person; he was about to do the same thing to some girl that happened to Rosalie. I pulled him off her. I saved the girl."
An angry lump was growing in her throat. All she could think of was the poor girl. Would she realize Edward's intentions, or was she cowering somewhere, scared to death and permanently damaged from what she had just witnessed? What was Edward thinking?
"Edward Cullen, it is not your job to play God," she reprimanded sternly. "You don't get to decide who dies and who doesn't. There is a plan for everyone, and God would have made that man pay without your assistance." She tried to lock eyes with him, but his eyes flit nervously around the room. Her brother looked like a wild animal trapped here in Carlisle's office.
"I knew you would say that. That's why I'm leaving. This is my nature, and maybe I'm just not as strong as Carlisle and everyone else. I don't need be judged for following my instincts. I need to be on my own for awhile."
"So you're leaving? Now?"
He nodded, silent. Ellie was even more exasperated when she realized he was still blocking his thoughts from her. Where exactly was he planning on going? Murderer or not, he was still her brother, and she couldn't bear the thought of being away from him for any extended period of time.
"But you're coming back, right? This isn't for good."
"I don't know. I don't know if I am or not. Vampires go on their own all the time, Eleanor. It's in our nature."
Ellie flinched at the use of her full name, and knew then that she was fighting a losing battle. She realized she had been since the first time he blocked his thoughts from her weeks ago. She was speechless that he was leaving her, maybe forever, until he sealed the letter he had been working on and got up from his chair.
"I know you aren't a killer," she spoke softly. "You do not have an evil bone in your body. You are a good person, Edward Cullen."
"You have no idea what I am," Edward said harshly, glaring down at her with fathomless red eyes. "I am not a person, Eleanor! I am a vampire. I am meant to be a monster. You have no idea the thirst that rips through me, through all of us. Until you feel that, you have no idea what we are. You don't understand, and you never will." His words hurt her, and brought angry tears to her eyes.
"So, what? You're just going to leave, without so much as a goodbye to Esme and Carlisle? To me? You think a note will somehow make everything better?"
"Esme and Carlisle will understand what I'm going through, eventually. You clearly won't." He got up to leave, grabbing his bag. Ellie deflated, feeling as though she had been slapped. She ran to the door, trying to block his exit.
"Edward, please don't leave," she said desperately. "We can fix this; it's just a fight, and you'll feel better. Eventually, you will. We'll work this out together, just like we do everything else."
"This is not just a fight," he said coolly, gracefully maneuvering past her. "We're very different from each other, and this was bound to happen eventually. Did you honestly think we were going to be able to spend the rest of our lives together, brother and sister for all of eternity?" That was exactly what she had thought, actually. His words stung. The tears started falling now, and she tried to scrub them away with the heel of her palm.
"Your heart beats; mine doesn't," Edward continued, speaking more softly. "You can have a life out in the human world, I can't. I might as well be dead to you, because that's just what I am. You need to move on with your life. You don't belong here, in a house full of vampires. You belong out in the real world with humans, with people whose hearts bleed and tears fall like yours. I'm moving on. So should you. You don't belong with us. You never did."
With that, he walked out the room and down the stairs. Ellie was frozen in the doorway. He had never said anything hateful to her in her life. He and Rose would get into fights and shout cruel things at each other, but in fifteen years she had never even gotten in one fight with Edward. He had never even thought a mean word at her. She felt like her guts were about to fall out, and clutched at her sides as she heard the front door open.
She no longer cared that tears were streaming down her face, mocking her, showing yet another difference between her and her beloved brother. Channeling Rose's sense for dramatics, she threw herself against the second story railing and shouted down to him. His hand was still on the open door, and he had hesitated before leaving the house.
"You are dead to me, Edward Cullen! I never want to see or speak to you again!" He turned around in the doorway, and she half-expected him to come back to the house, apologizing and admitting his error.
Instead, he smirked at her and said, "I told you, I'm already dead. Look around, Eleanor. You're the only one who's not."
She picked up a vase full of flowers leftover from the wedding, and threw it at his head as hard as she could as he shut the door. The ceramic vase smashed into dust as it crashed against the just-closed door. The strength of her throw cracked the front door in two.
She sunk down to the hardwood floor after she was sure Edward was gone, and stayed there, motionless and unblinking, until Esme and Carlisle returned home around daybreak. They had assumed she had been upset over finding Edward had left, never realizing there had been words exchanged.
Edward hadn't even bothered leaving a note for anyone else, and Ellie wondered if his plan was to sneak out of the house without her ever knowing. When she was in a bad mood, she would laugh at the irony of the situation. First her biological mother left her, and then her brother. Rose and Emmett were gone, for all intents and purposes. She wondered who would be next-- when Carlisle and Esme would wisen up and disappear as well.
So that's what's been going on in Ellie's life the past few years. Poor thing. Whaddya think?
