It was like any other night. And I wished, I hoped that this time would be different, that something would really change, but…

Lonely angel, invisible for human eyes, shyly standing near cheap motel bed of older Winchester in this stupid dirty trenchcoat and staring at how his human's hands touch another women. Winchester probably won't remember her name next morning. Just one-night stand. And it probably brakes my little brother's heart even more.

He's so preoccupied; he doesn't even notice my appearance. So concentrated on this…show.

I come closer, raise my right hand and put my palm in front of his eyes.

- Don't look at this bastard.

Castiel doesn't react. Doesn't say anything. And it makes me feel myself even more worried. This big heroes…Winchester brothers…

- Cas, come on. Let's get you out of here.

I ruffle his hair:

- Come on, little brother.

Then I touch his shoulder with my left arm and zip us somewhere, I don't even know the name of this place. And …I just don't care. Anywhere is good, away from this…

- Castiel?

I take my hands away from him. And Cas…he just continues standing like he's still in that room, like nothing's really changed, like he's still watching…And I just don't know what to do. I look at his face. Glassy eyes…

I want to scream, to break something, to blow up the world… But most of all I want just to come back to this cheat motel room and finally kill this stupid annoying hairless ape.

- Cas, just look at me, please.

No reaction. At all. Pure little brother. We angels aren't like humans. We weren't born to feel. And it was so simple in the beginning when there were only orders that we should have followed. Pure little angel…love can be so painless sometimes. I know…

I begin to stroke his hair again until he suddenly gets out of his numbness and goes away saying something about important things to do.

You know, Cas, love is always like this. Not bloody rainbow or sugar-flavored, no. It hurts. And it doesn't matter how much you love. And you know what the funniest thing is? It doesn't matter what your beloved do to you. You just can't stop loving him. Even when he did something cruel like… stabing you with an angel killing sword.

- Yes I'll always have you.

Your last thought would be always about him.

- Cas…