Please Don't Say You Love Me Because I Might Say It Back

By: LegacyAtHeart

I just started this on my phone and took form in about two days. Title is from Please Don't Say You Love Me by Gabrielle Aplin and there is a glorious short video with Connor and Oliver on youtube. I am praying that this becomes cannon because I love them together so much!

Reviews will help me if I should continue this or not.


He didn't seem to comprehend any of what was happening. All he remembered was Wes dropping him at his apartment and he didn't want to be there. He wanted to be home. And while the apartment was his home in his...friends... minds, to him, he lost his real home when he was thrown out two months ago.

So when Oliver answered his door at 6 in the morning, Connor was full of relief.

"I screwed up."

He kept saying it over and over. He vaguely heard Oliver asking what happened and felt himself being moved to the couch and soon after the shower.

Oliver doesn't ask many questions and Connor was grateful. He's so damn grateful that he could kiss this amazing wonderful man who has a boyfriend and yet let him into his apartment after he screwed up so bad.

"I screwed up. I screwed everything up and I shouldn't have. I think there's something wrong with me and...And you shouldn't have let me in because that makes you part of it and you shouldn't be a part of it.

"You should be happy and you are happy. You look happy and who wouldn't be with that guy who cooks for you. He must do all the couple stuff that you wanted to do with me and I screwed it all up with you. I didn't mean to and I know that sounds so lame but it's the truth. And if I could change anything, I would change what I did but I can't and I'm so sorry."

He didn't want to say that aloud. And he didn't know that he did until he saw the look on Oliver's face. The look of shocked disbelief.

"Okay, what the hell happened to you? And who the hell are you talking about?" he asked.

Connor was mortified. "I said that all out loud," he asked.

Oliver nodded. "Yep," he replied. He sat on the table across Connor on the couch. He took his hand and Connor felt a tingle from the contact.

"Don't worry about me and getting me involved. I let you in, remember? Besides it can't be that bad," he told Connor.

Connor caressed his cheek. "It's much worse," he replied.

And so, he told Oliver everything about what happened and how Sam snapped and locked them all in the house and how it all happened so fastand how they got rid of the body and how he came with flowers and that guy opened the door and just how sorry he was.

"Okay, first you have to breathe and calm down. You are going to be okay. I am not going to say anything to anyone and that's a promise. Second, you owe me more than flowers and that guy was my brother in law. My sister was at the store and he was helping me paint. She said she saw a guy downstairs with flowers so I guess that was you. I'm still single," Oliver said.

Connor did notice that the walls were a different color and took another breath. He sighed and leaned back. Oliver couldn't help it, he burst out laughing. Connor looked at him and then started to laugh himself. And it was a normal laugh, not the broken cackle that he had with his friends earlier in the night. He felt free and whole for the first time in forever.

Oliver made him feel like that.

Oliver made him whole.

Oliver made him feel.

Oliver made him love.

Oliver had his heart and that's okay.

Oliver had his trust.

Oliver was his everything.

"I love you."