My sweet Nessy.
Jacob
gets sent back in time to when Bella chooses Edward over him, except
this time she chooses Jacob. Jacob should be ecstatic! Right? Not. He
still has all the feelings he had for Bella before, but all the
feelings for Nessy are gone! Can he get Bella to go back to Edward so
she can have Renesmee when he loves her so much still?
Chapter one: Lost
Jacob's point of view:
"Nessy I-" I
couldn't continue. I'd told her before about imprinting. I told her
about how Quil imprinted on Claire when she was a baby. Did she
figure it out, yet? That I loved her, too? Like Quil and Claire, it
was, at first brotherly love. Then over protective friendly love. Now
it's.. Romantic love? She sat up strait and smiled. The sun
hitting her ever so slightly, sending a small bit of rays off of her
skin. Her eyes, chocolate brown, sparkled. Her wavy hair flowing
delicately down to the small of her back. "Jacob?" She
questioned cocking her head sideways. She touched my face with her
hands and showed me what I looked like. My face was so evident with
confusion. Anxiety. She pulled away and shrugged. Then she put her
hands back to my cheeks and showed a picture of herself. She pulled
away and frowned. She was being self conscious? This beautiful
creature, the being of my existence was worried I thought wrong of
her. "Did I do something?" "No!" I yelled out all to
quickly. She smiled but it didn't meet her beautiful eyes. She nodded
and touched my face again. A picture of a large elk. Her running in
front of me while she tackles the largest one, then laughing at her
kill. "Not right now, Nessy.. I really need to.. I.." I was lost
for words. "Okay. You can tell me though, Jacob. Really. I
wont be mad or sad.. You can tell me anything!" She showed off her
flawless white teeth and I exhaled. Her scent fanning my face softly.
She was an angel. An angel I wished I could kiss and hold.. "This
is.. Difficult. Way more difficult than anything I've had to tell
you. I just don't want you to hate me.. You have to under stand! It
wasn't my fault when it-" She stopped me mid sentence by engulfing
me in a hug. "Oh, Jacob! I could never hate you. I love
you!" I could feel her smiling, and my heart flipped in my chest
when she used the word love. I loved her too.. Just not the way she
loved me. "I love you too, Nessy. That's the problem!" I
hissed finally admitting. She pulled back and looked at my
face. "Jacob?" She whispered. I nodded and she opened her
mouth to talk, but closed it again. I knew it. She hated me. "I..
Love you too.. Jacob." She whispered so quietly I wouldn't have
heard it if I didn't have extra sensitive ears. "What did
you say?" I asked, making sure I heard her correctly. She giggled
and rolled her eyes. Same old Nessy. Beautiful, funny, kind, sweet,
vampire Nessy. I pulled her to my chest,
and her body felt right against mine. Like it was meant to fit there,
and only there. I melted into her. "So.. Am I your imprint?"
She whispered sounding nervous. She was just like Bella used to
be. "Yes." I admitted. She exhaled like a large weight was
taken off of her shoulders. "Oh." Was all she could say.
I smiled and retained myself from kissing her right now. I don't know
if she wanted that yet.. "I love you, werewolf Jacob Black." She
said smiling triumphantly. I couldn't help but mirror her
expression. "I love you too, vampire Nessy."
"I said I love you.. too." I smiled
winningly. My heart beat faster and I could hear hers speed up too.
"I do. I love you, Jacob Black."
Then I woke up.
"I want it too, Jacob." Bella whispered. I hadn't realized where I was until I saw Bella's face hovering over mine. I tried to sit up but she pushed me back down. Wasn't I just with Nessy? "I used to think of you that way, you know. Like the sun. My personal sun. You balanced out the clouds nicely for me." She whispered and my eyes went wide. Didn't she say that in my room the night she'd told me she was choosing Edward over me? This was about the time I would say that I couldn't fight an eclipse.
She looked down at me with a small smile and laid her hand on my cheek. "The part that made me change my mind was I saw the whole thing – out whole life. And I want it bad, Jake, I want it all. I want to stay right here and never move. I want to love you and make you happy. And I can now. It's like Sam and Emily, Jake – I never had a choice. I always knew it was right. Like you said, it would be easy for us. Like breathing. I'm tired of fighting against this! Jacob.." Her words trailed off and I gripped the sheets with as much force as I could. I could hear them ripping under my hands, but ignored it. This was a dream. A nightmare. Was she really choosing me over her bloodsucker?
I was concentrating on breathing evenly. She couldn't be serious. If she never chooses Edward, they can't get married. If they don't get married they don't go on a honeymoon, when she gets pregnant. If she doesn't get pregnant.. No Nessy. My heart faltered and my breathing became irregular. I felt like I was on the verge of passing out.
Then I looked up at Bella's face. I gasped when I felt all the feelings I had for her before Nessy. I saw her. Actually saw her. She was beautiful. Her brown eyes so much like her daughters. Her pale skin luminescent in the dark. Her beautiful lips.. How much I wanted to touch them with my own..
The feelings weren't right like when I looked at Nessy. They were different, but good at the same time.
Except the feelings for Nessy were gone. Because Nessy doesn't exist yet.
How could I deny the feelings I once felt for Nessy? I knew they were there, but it was like an empty feeling. No meaning.
"Jacob?" Bella whispered with a questioning expression.
I sat up strait and regretted it. I winced and let out a loud growl as the sheets pulled at my right side. I had forgotten that I had injured myself. Bella gasped and pulled away from me. I ignored the pain.
"No, Bella! You can't! You have to choose Edward because if you don't Ne-" I stopped. I didn't want to go about this like a mad man. "If you don't you'll break his heart. Please, I'll be fine.." I winced at the pain I felt from my own words. Could I really let her go a second time, even when she's offering herself? With these feelings here, how could I? Especially when the feelings towards Nessy were gone.
"I'm confused.." She admitted. I could tell from her voice that she was going to cry if I didn't fix things. I could already smell the salty tears in her eyes. I wasn't surprised when I wanted to comfort her, but I was surprised at the pain knowing she was hurt. That I'd caused this pain.
"Don't cry, Bella. I.. I just have to think." I whispered laying back down on the pillow. She nodded and stood up with a huff.
"Call me when you want me over?" She asked and I nodded. I was awestruck. So confused.
"Love you." She whispered. I hated how my heart jumped around in my chest and my cheeks warmed. I couldn't keep the smile away from my lips. I also loved it. It was better than any feeling I've ever had. That's a lie. The best feeling is being next to Nessy when she hums her lullaby's. When she says my name. But I couldn't remember those feelings..
"Love you too, Bella." I said without thinking. Like a reflex, but it felt so right.
She left without another word, and just a quick kiss on the cheek. She left me to think.
Bella, or Nessy. My heart told me Bella, because it didn't know Nessy. My mind told me Nessy. With a loud moan I closed my eyes and thought about the both of them. Except only Bella played in my mind. Nessy was still a stranger to me.
It was an odd feeling. Knowing that Nessy wasn't born but she was my soul mate. My imprint. Except I'd never seen her. I didn't love her like I thought I did. She was like a shadow in my memory. I tore at the skin on my right arm, crying out in pain. Stupid, stupid!
I could feel tears coming. Not from the pain of the new cuts on my arm, but the pain that Nessy didn't exist. I groaned in frustration and closed my eyes slowly drifting off to sleep.
Hope this wasn't to confusing. I thought about it this morning when I was sitting in the movies. It was funny. I thought about it in the beginning of the movie, and the next instant my friend was like, dude movies over. I must have been day dreaming. Ha! Well.. I don't know if this is going to be to good but if you like it please review.. Because if I don't get a few review I'm not continuing! It was hard planning all this out.. Anyways.. The italic is Jacob's dream. When he wakes up he can still remember things about Nessy like the past with her and stuff like that. He just can't remember what she looks like. He can remember that he loves her, he just doesn't have the feelings. He's still in love with Bella, because when he wakes up it's the part in Eclipse where Bella chooses Edward over him, except this time she's choosing Jacob! He has all the feelings he had for Bella, but he's confused as to what to do. Keep Bella and loose the love he's never met, or leave her and go through all the pain? Confusing, I know. He can have dreams about her and stuff, but he slowly forgets about her. Horrible, I know. Anyways, review!
