This is what I recall.
You did not shave that day. I lay my head on your lap, knowing exactly what body part I was in proximity with. We nudged our cheeks against, creating rough friction. Cheek sex. My heart did not beat. I did not need oxygen when I had your stubble opening my pores, breathing life into dormant pits.
That day I discovered stubble is sexy as hell.
We drove to a long line of parks. A strip of greenery hidden in the folds of city intestine. Slowly digesting into small bits of matter unused by its own system. Us and those drunk kids.
Passersby thought we were a couple, I bet.
Oh, those hooligans! Charmed chuckles.
Oh to be young and in love. Sigh
We are not in love.
We went to a playground. My legs in a sweet skirt slighted open for you, in front of you. You pretended not to notice.
Gentleman to the end.
I removed your dumb hat and fixed your hair with my fingers, allowing roaming fingertips to linger in silken fields longer than necessary.
There. Glorious.
Coy smiling now. A game.
We wandered arms linked, thrown over a shoulder. Who cares that your kinda short. It didn't bother me.
I needed you on some intense level. We neared a kiss several instances. I could always tell because time slowed into a continuous roll, with the night quieting its breath along with my dead beat heart. And as I sighed, signing over the power, everyone remembered to breathe normality.
And it was over and now it was time to stand and sashay to a new bench.
Every feeling of overpowering lust was jammed into that kiss. Your lips did not entirely mark my cheek. They dipped into the corner of my smile, resting on the crease of my lips and a dimple you could not see because I was not smiling.
The "innocent" kiss held and held and held. No cheek kiss in history has ever been so powerful. You wanted me and I wanted you. Sexually inclined, space, the universe, possibly Jesus, tugged the strings, angling us so our biological puzzle pieces could come together.
Your lips on my cheek was a love letter. It said,
Starfire. You are amazing and I like you on such a plane of newfound emotion I can't describe. This kiss right now is redefining everything I have ever considered love or even connection to be.
However, as soon as I felt those words, your lips also said,
I'm sorry.
And it was over. It broke and I broke and the skye broke, letting the shards of myself and a meaningless kiss and exploded stars to mingle on the grass. As we walked back to our car, I imbibed the image of the mess. It was magnificent and I was stirred. How could broken things make the back of my throat well and prick my tear glands?
That kiss was slower and closer to God than any ever experienced prior. In some galaxy we are meant to be. Not this one and this is ok. Do I hold up the search now? It seems ridiculous and honestly semi - impractical to look for my soul mate now. Robin was perfect but unavailable. I am setting down the mantle. Now I am mentally turning around and merely lingering.I am not going to back track.
Oh no.
I am just tuning out the orders to hunt for a man. When the time is right, all will be revealed.
