Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock. If the contracts to who actually does own Sherlock go missing, then I still don't own Sherlock.

If the police come knocking on my door after such a theft, then I especially don't own Sherlock.


A/N: Sequel to Improbable Hospitality and Two Drunks, A Sofa And Sherlock Holmes.

To avoid confusion, Lestrade's lines are in italic.


Set 48 hours after the events of Two Drunks, A Sofa And Sherlock Holmes:

"Okay the body is down the hall, neighbours say they didn't hear or see anyone - Sherlock, why are you smiling like that?"

"Any obvious points of entry?"

"The back door was pried open with a crowbar . . . John do you know why he's grinning like that?"

"No. He's been like that for the past couple of days - "

"Well tell him to stop, it's unnatural. It's like he's plotting to kill us or something!"

"Get back to work Sargeant Donovan. You're needed to guard the front door."

"But sir - "

"Now Donovan."

"That was well handled, are you feeling okay Greg?"

"Still fuzzy headed from the other night."

"That was two days ago Greg. You must have one hell of a hangover."

"Yeah, well. We did drink alot. Did you find out why that sofa was on the doorstep?"

"No, but I suspect Sherlock knows. He won't tell me one way or the other."

"Sadistic git. Alright Sherlock what have you got for us?"

"There were two crimes intended to be commited today. The brother-in-law came, in a jealous rage over her lottery winnings, killed her and took the offending ticket."

"He broke into her apartment? Wait, two crimes?"

"Yes Lestrade, the brother-in-law - you'll find his fingerprints on that very carefully placed lampshade that you've neglected to dust, by the way - was invited in. A burglar came, probably her friend in that photo - career criminal, obvious because of his shoes - "

"His shoes?"

"Yes John. Nobody wears light-weight, rubber-gripping soled boots to an shopping centre; not unless they were planning on running very fast."

"Oh. So how do you know he was here?"

"The back door. Professional job. He came to steal the ticket for himself, saw the dead body and panicked. Ran. Infact he probably reported the murder himself, anonymously. You may need to check your hotline."

"Okay, so how come the neighbours didn't hear anything?"

"She wasn't expecting it. So she didn't react to the first hit - which rendered her unconscious. He took the lampshade and struck her repeatedly. Cleaned it off and placed it high on that shelf where it would look innocuous to anyone entering."

"Right then. So I'll get a line out on the brother-in-law?"

"Yes. Then we must discuss your drunkeness at the flat the other day."

"Jesus Sherlock, I don't remember much - anything really - if I did something offensive then I'm sorry. Unless I called you a prat, I'm not taking that back."

"You don't remember, you say?"

"Not a damned thing. Why?"

"Let me show you."


A/N: Happy birthday Serinah!

This is a three parter, for anyone wondering - so stay tuned!

Thanks to johnsarmylady for suggesting this follow up!

Also, of course: Any and all reviews and PM's are welcome, whether you liked it or not. Constructive criticism is very useful to me. I will endevour to respond to all of them.