Moment of Weakness
Rating: M to be safe
Pairing: Gintoki x Kagura, what else would you expect from yours truly? :P
Okay, I will apologize ahead of time for this one. Almost purely smutty kind of fluff. Goes like this. Gintoki makes a bad decision, then things get out of hand. But will it turn out to be a blessing in disguise? Intentionally more of a focus on Gintoki this time, since my other stories are usually Kagura making the moves. The warnings in place, enjoy the GinKagu.
Staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, Gintoki listened to the calming running of the faucet. His crimson eyes widened in fear and guilt and seemingly a million other equally disturbing feelings, he watched as his chest heaved with his ragged breathing.
Resting his hands on the edge of the sink, Gin leaned forward, watching himself more intently in the mirror. The cold sweat that had awoken him from his sleep still shimmered on his skin, a few stray locks of silver hair matted to his forehead. He was more aware of the coolness of the air around him with the thin layer of sweat, small goosebumps present all over his body.
Letting his hands sit under the cold water, Gintoki felt the frustration of the night creep up on him once more, the clear liquid pooling in his cupped hands. Each second sent more of the liquid out over his hands, joining the rest of the life giving fluid in the drain. He let his hearing shift from the running of the water to the drain, listening as the liquid slid carelessly down the pipes.
That was how he felt at this moment, as though his life were slipping through some karmic pipe, never to be recovered. Why did he do it? He knew it would happen eventually, it was only a matter of time. But even knowing the downside, he had still caved in. She always knew just how to get to him, a fact that he always kicked himself for.
He let his forehead rest against the reflective surface of the mirror, looking at himself in the odd angle it presented. His eyes ran all across the reflected image of himself, not able to catch the heavy beating of his heart. Memories of that night raced through his mind, a blur of images in the mind's eyes.
"Damn it. What now?" he asked himself, frustrated for his own weakness. The thoughts surged through, as he closed his eyes in an attempt to squeeze them out. He wanted to forget that it had ever happened, to move on and hope that things would somehow work out for the best.
But as hard as he squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to purge the thoughts, the feelings that came with them were far too pleasant. Smells, touches, sounds all resounded in his senses, making the images all the more real.
With no prompting from his conscious mind, the night began to replay in his mind, from the beginning. He was just about to drift off to sleep, before a familiar figure slid open his door, taking her place in his doorway as she gazed at him.
"Huh? What is it, Kagura-chan?" the words had come out more annoyed than he had intended, wincing slightly at her mildly angered expression. With a deep sigh, he had sat up, asking in a nicer tone what it was that she had wanted.
"Gin-chan, it's cold. Let me sleep with you." The words had sounded so innocent, and he let his eyes narrow in mild annoyance at the notion. The scandal involved in a young girl sharing a bed with an older man was enough to dissuade him, and so he had simply lay back in bed, pulling the covers tightly to his chin.
"Go back to bed, Kagura-chan." he answered gruffly, trying to end the matter so that he could get some sleep. But as he lay in his futon, the presence at the door refused to leave, and he felt a stitch begin to beat on his forehead. After a few futile minutes of ignoring the girl, he had opened the covers, the unspoken invitation for her to join him.
It was not a good idea, he knew in his mind. But he also had a feeling that he would not be able to sleep with her simply staring at him the way she no doubt was. Similar to when she and Shinpachi had begged to be carried after their initial run in with the Space Pirates Harusame. He had known they were fine, but their plaintive stances had caved him almost completely, and he had acquiesced.
Thinking back on that, he realized it had probably set a bad precedent, and simply thanked himself that they did not take advantage of it TOO often. In nearly a split second, the girl had leapt into the covers, snuggling herself quite comfortable in the heavy blanket. With a sigh, Gin had turned his back to the girl, intent on at least maintaining his "chivalrous" standing with the girl.
It didn't take long for him to regret his decision immensely. Kagura, in her usual easy going way, had managed to fall asleep nearly instantly, smiling as she slept. The in and out of her breathing only seemed to irritate Gintoki, who found himself in a rather uncomfortable position. He wanted desperately to turn over onto his other side, but didn't dare peek at the girl's sleeping form.
But as he tried his best to fall asleep, the Yato girl had one of her sleeping fits, and had rolled over towards him. Her right arm had slung itself over his body, her slender frame pressing frustratingly against his back. His face flushed a bit, both from enjoyment and frustration. Never before had one thing given him such mixed feelings.
With the precision and care of a ninja, he tried to lift the girl's grip from him, biting his lip as he concentrated. The girl's hand was so small, fitting so perfectly in his own. And her warmth. He had tried to push the increasingly inappropriate thoughts from his mind, finding it harder and harder. As if in response to his dilemma, Kagura seemed to instinctively push herself further against him, thus increasing his discomfort.
His mind racing, he realized that somewhere along the way, without his noticing, Kagura had grown up. The soft mounds of flesh that pressed against his cloth covered back sent his thoughts spiraling down, as his natural instincts as a male began to increase. His breathing had quickly increased, as he tried more fervently to extricate himself from her grasp.
But the girl was strong. Stronger than she looked, a thought he nearly pinched himself for having. Gin had noticed her monstrous strength firsthand. He knew that others had wanted to use that strength, something he really didn't understand. When she had… "asked" to join them, his first thought was that his peaceful life would never return.
But the personality to go with that strength was something he had come to rely on, and enjoy. She was, in many ways, similar to him. His partner in crime, so to speak. But now, he wondered when she had grown up, and how he could possibly have not noticed. He felt his muscles relax a bit, the girl's breath soft and cool against the back of his neck.
'This isn't so bad.' he thought to himself, feeling a smile tug at the corner of his lips, despite his situation. No sooner had the thought crossed his mind, than his eyes widened in shock. Was he really enjoying having the girl's underage body pressed against him, while she was sleeping innocently?
Every rational thought in his head told him to simply escape her grip and find his sleeping needs elsewhere. He cursed himself for his weakness, yet his body refused to move. Quite the opposite, he found. His hand had rested atop hers, squeezing it softly as she reciprocated, holding him more firmly against her.
As his mind screamed for him to move, to get out of there before he did something that could never be taken back, his body simply ignored it. He could feel her warmth through their respective sleep attire, and for the first time in a long time he felt at peace. Memories of nights alone seemed so lonely now, so cold compared to the warmth that he found himself enjoying.
His mind went blank for a moment, and he found his body acting with no input from his mind, something that certainly would be a point of a joke for many he knew. But as he was savoring the warmth from her lithe body, he found her palm resting against his lips, his mouth kissing her soft skin sweetly.
What was he doing? When had he moved her hand to this position? The questions didn't seem to find any answer, save for the ones she gave. Sweet, soft sighs escaped her lips, and her voice suddenly felt like gasoline being thrown on a fire in his head. The rational part of his mind seemed to join his lonely feelings, turning its argument to just telling him to enjoy it.
The last part of his mind seemed to drift off, as her voice rang in his ears.
"Gin-chan?" she had asked, causing him to turn in her arms. His face was so close to hers, and he saw the pale moonlight reflecting carelessly off of her porcelain skin. The breath caught in his chest. The red hair splayed across the shared pillow caught a few rays of moonlight, adding to her nearly ethereal appearance.
He gulped in what would normally be presumed to be guilt. At that moment, staring into her bright, deep blue eyes, he felt his reddish orbs focusing on her lips. They were so enticing, so full, so sweet looking. The white glow of the moon caught the traces of saliva on the peach colored flesh, and his heart nearly stopped as he felt himself leaning toward her.
The bright, crystalline eyes widened in surprise, a rose tint finding its way onto her smooth, soft cheeks. His right hand came up towards her face, cupping her soft cheek in his grip. They shared a soft sigh as he rubbed the smooth flesh on her face, his thumb brushing just so briefly over her sweet lips. The look on her face changed from one of confusion, and apprehension to pleasure, her lips parting with the increased need for breath.
Letting his hand run through her red locks, he committed the entire moment to memory, lost in the moment. Rational thought had no room to intrude, as her silky hair slipped through his fingers. Her full lips curled into a happy smile at the action, simply leaning into him further as he pet the girl before him. No, the young woman before him.
"Gin-chan." she said, her voice only a hair above a whisper. She looked so sweet there in front of him, bathed in the pale moon light. The tone on her voice seemed to be asking a question, her eyes echoing the same sentiment as she gazed at him. Even through the moonlight, he could see the blush on her cheeks. He had no words. Any part of his mind capable of thinking straight had by that time fallen by the wayside.
Otherwise, he never would have taken his next course of action. Slipping his palm towards her cheek, he pulled her toward him, capturing her sweet lips with his own. The girl had tensed for an instant, before leaning into the kiss. Any part of his mind that might have put up any resistance faded to the wayside. All the loneliness he felt, all the guilt and shame melted away, and he was lost in the pleasure he felt.
It felt warm, friendly, inviting. It felt right. The girl's hands found their way to his back, clutching desperately from the small gesture. Lips smacked against one another's as he rolled onto his back, pulling the girl on top of him. Pulling his lips from hers, Gin watched as her rose colored locks flowed over her shoulders, framing her sweet face neatly.
Her hands pressed against his chest, he could feel their warmth even through his shirt. Never before had he wanted to be shirtless so badly as he did just then. He wanted her hands to touch him directly, wanted her touch to soothe his body with their warm caress. Grabbing her wrists, he held her in place, feeling her weight shift on top of him. The look in her eyes was full of something he could just recall with his mind.
A pure sort of love. A trust, a longing to be with someone. Seeing her clear eyes, glazed over with an addition of teenage lust, Gin knew that he must be looking at her with the same sort of look. He let his hands run up her slender arms, feeling each inch of her smooth, soft skin with his fingers. Her slender frame shivered a bit with his touch, his fingertips brushing her soft skin.
After an agonizingly long time, he reached her sweet face, cupping her cheeks with each hand. The girl above him reciprocated his affection, looking down longingly to him, her chest heaving with each breath. She bit down on her bottom lip, the confident, sarcastic girl replaced with this sweet, innocent young woman.
As his thumb brushed across her lips, she opened her mouth, biting down on his finger in a playful, teasing gesture. He felt his body heat up a bit at her action, smiling at the sweetness of the young girl. After pulling the digit from her mouth, he looked into her eyes, watching as a heat began to emanate from them. His hands clasped together on the back of her neck, rubbing idly on her sweet skin.
"Gin-chan." Two simple words. They could work him so easily, make him feel impatient and in control at the same time. This time, he could tell that she was on the same wavelength. As he pulled her down to him, the world around them seemed to fade away. He resolved that his guilt would not come up again, not until the next morning. Right then, all he wanted was this unbelievably soft, warm creature. A vision right out of his dreams.
Splashing the cold water against his still damp skin, Gin watched as it trickled downward, dripping from his nose and chin. The memories refused to leave, haunting him for his decision. Letting the hands rest on the cool porcelain of the sink once more, he stared at his reflection in the mirror.
Each time he blinked, visions of the night passed through his mind. Flashes of scenes that seemed almost surreal echoed around him, like they had happened to someone else. It didn't seem real. He knew he should feel bad, feel guilty, feel like a worthless human being. But try as he might, the feelings of guilt wouldn't surface. The cool air all around him seemed to warm as he stood there, watching himself in the mirror.
Closing his eyes, he could still feel and hear the events of the night. The feel of her silky hair in his fingers. Clothing strewn all about the floor, the comforter pulled over their bodies as they made love. Her strong grip clutching at his bare back, soft gasps alternating with loud moans. Two bodies joined together, hungering for each other's embrace. The mutual gyrating of hips, skin glistening with sweat.
Pleads for more, as she pulled him in closer to her. The soft, pliant flesh of her perky breasts in his hand. The groans and gasps echoed in the room, bouncing off of the walls to provide the soundtrack to the events unfolding within. Caution was thrown to the wind, each too lost in the moment to care. Gin had taken every opportunity provided to savor her, memorizing each sound, each feeling she gave him.
He could feel the light marks on his back where she had grasped him too harshly, as she had approached her climax. Once they were too exhausted to continue, spent with an immeasurable joy, he had collapsed next to her, holding his prize in his arms. Gin had planted a soft kiss on her head, eliciting a soft, content laugh from the girl. Kagura had clutched at his forearm, holding his arm across her chest as they nestled in for a night of sleep.
The feelings were so distant, and yet so near as he sat here now, looking at the vision of the man in the mirror. Despite his fears and worries, the world had not ended. The police had not raided his home right at that instant. Her protective father had not flown through the window, promising swift retribution for the deflowering of his now 16 year old daughter.
Even through his night of contented slumber, the world had kept right on spinning. Something deep in his gut felt off, however. Not something he could explain, not something he could put his finger on. With a heavy sigh, he spun the knob to turn off the water, listening to the last traces of clear liquid fall down the dark drain.
As the last sounds of water rang in his ears, Gin heard the bathroom door slide open. Catching the sight in the mirror first, he then turned to take in the sight, eyes widening in surprise as he gazed at the sight. There, in the door way to the bathroom stood Kagura, rubbing the remnants of sleep from her eyes.
He felt a small pang of envy for the young girl. While he had been sitting here suffering over their shared moment of passion, she had slept carelessly. Not only that, but here she stood, completely bare before his gaze where he had at least the decency to find his boxers before trudging to the bathroom. Not a word was spoken as the young woman closed the distance between the two, throwing her arms around his waist.
As he let his arms encircle the girl before him, Gin wondered how he could have not noticed her transformation into a woman. Leaning down, he kissed the top of her head sweetly, watching as she leaned up a bit, catching his lips with her own. She had grown a bit over their time together, another fact he had not noticed.
"Geez, what have I gotten myself into." he mumbled, pretending to be annoyed by the situation, feeling her silky hair against his bare skin.
"Don't blame me. You're the one who made the first move, Gin-chan." she teased, poking him in the side for emphasis. A shared chuckle rang against the tile of the bathroom. Looking into her sweet eyes, Gintoki felt something he could not remember in his long life.
Love. The evening of passion was only the most recent in what he realized was a long process. Her warm, easily given smile. The giggles and laughs, the way she joined in his jokes and gags, always on the same wavelength when it came to poking fun at others. She had joined him as a young girl, barely starting her teen years.
But as they had gone through all the hardships, she had always been there. Always been watching his back, protecting him from enemies and from his own loneliness. Shinpachi was his friend, a fact that he was grateful for. But most of the time, Shin went back to his sister's place to sleep. But Kagura was always there, in her cramped little sleeping space, keeping his place warm and friendly.
He always had taken her for granted, even going so far as to send her away on occasion. Despite the pain he had felt, there were times he had been harsh with her, hurting her when she had professed her wish to stay with him always.
But all that seemed to pale into the background as he gazed into those deep blue eyes, lost in the clarity of the crystals that gazed back at him. Rubbing her soft, warm cheeks with his palms once again, he leaned in, kissing her deeply once more.
The cosmic powers had seen to guide this gift into his life, a fact he seldom showed his appreciation for. With a wide, content smile, he gazed at her, looking at the soft, unbelievably smooth skin. Her body pressed against him was so warm, so soft. The temperature of the air seemed as nothing to the body pressed against his own.
"Eh, better hit the showers, Kagura." he teased, implying that she truly needed it more than he did. His teasing was greeted with a playful pinch on the stomach as she looked into his crimson eyes.
"No way. You need one more than I do." she answered, a mischievous grin on her face as she made her way towards the shower. As she slipped open the door, she grabbed his hand, tugging playfully on his arm for him to follow.
"Ah, how troublesome." he grumbled, only mockingly upset at the idea. He figured she could see the amused grin on his face, and so simply gave in to the girl's idea. The gods seemed to give their blessing, allowing the world to move on past his moment of weakness.
Surely they could forgive one more. Or maybe a few thousand.
Wow, sorry for those expecting a deep, intricate story. Just had to write this one for my own sanity. Figured I should try to lean out over the edge a bit, but nothing too graphic. For those of you who have read my lemon-y One Piece story 'Nami's Passion' you know what I am capable of in this area :P Anyway, thoughts always welcome, as long as they're not too malicious. Next update will be the confrontation between Kagura and Kamui in 'A Family Affair'. Look forward to that loyal readers.
