Hello, again! So I remember a guy on YouTube, who owned a channel called BalenaProductions, and he did a lot of SFMs about Sonic the Hedgehog. One of his most popular is "Sonic in JAWS", in which Sonic and Tails are stuck in the plot of the movie, JAWS, where they must hunt down a giant shark with help from Conker the Squirrel. That video is pretty good, so I'd recommend it to you. However, he also had plans to stick Sonic and friends into another critically acclaimed Steven Spielberg movie, Jurassic Park. But then he decided it was too hard to make, and said it was canceled. And then he decided to make videos about Sonic and friends flopping around like ragdolls and licking each other's butts.
No, really.
Anyway, I love Sonic the Hedgehog, as you might've guessed from my name, and I like dinosaurs. So I figured if BalenaProductions didn't want to do it, why can't I do it?
Now first, the rights to entire concept should go to BalenaProductions. In a way, I'm writing a fanfiction about a fanfiction. Do not credit me with it, okay? Otherwise BalenaProductions will hunt me down. Secondly, I am writing this story in my own way, which means adding some of my own ideas and also including things that where in Jurassic Park the book that didn't make it to Jurassic Park the movie. And the Sonic characters will be allowed to act like their real selves while playing someone else.
And now here's your cast of characters:
Dr. Alan Grant: Sonic the Hedgehog (obviously)
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Blaze the Cat
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Shadow the Hedgehog
Donald Gennaro: Knuckles the Echidna
John Hammond: Vector the Crocodile
Lex Murphy: Amy Rose the Hedgehog
Tim Murphy: Miles "Tails" Prower the Fox
Robert Muldoon: Silver the Hedgehog
Dennis Nedry: Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik
Ray Arnold: Storm the Albatross
Dr. Henry Wu: Espio the Chameleon
Dr. Gerry Harding: Charmy Bee
So enough of this ridiculously long author's note. Here's my version of Sonic in Jurassic Park.
Isla Nublar: 120 Miles West of Costa Rica
The jungle was silent for the longest time. A small group of men stared at the packet of trees in front of them with steely gazes. Their leader, a small, white hedgehog with star-shaped quills on his forehead, tightly gripped his rifle in his hands, anxiously anticipating a certain arrival.
Finally, the trees began to rustle. Slowly emerging from the jungle, a large forklift was driven forward. It happened to be carrying a giant cage, which resembled a box with air vent covers surrounding the sides. There were holes, but they were too small to see inside the cage. The forklift slowly brought it over to the elevated platform, gently setting it down. From inside, some snarling could be heard.
"Alright, gents," said the hedgehog. "Please make your way to the cage and prepare to move her. I want all weapons on the ready, just in case."
Slowly, the other men walked up to the cage, and gripped it by the handles. One worker couldn't help but look inside, and he saw a tall creature anxiously pacing around inside, looking around at the walls.
The workers began dragging the cage along the ground, and finally, they attached it to a wall, where a door was leading inside an animal paddock.
"Are the magnetic locks working?" said the hedgehog.
"Yep," said a worker.
"Are you positive?" said the hedgehog.
"Of course," said the worker.
"Very well," said the hedgehog, as he turned to a black-skinned man to his right. "Gatekeeper, open the gate."
"I have a name, you know," said the gatekeeper.
"I know," said the hedgehog. "It's Harold."
"It's Joey," the man deadpanned.
"Just open the gate!" said the hedgehog.
The black-skinned man, apparently named Joey, rolled his eyes and climbed on top of the cage. He grabbed the top of the door and slowly pulled it up to let the animal inside.
Suddenly, the animal rammed into the back of the cage, causing it to slide backwards and Joey to fall off the top. Joey barely had time to recover when he felt a mouth of razor-sharp teeth grab his ankle, and pull him towards the cage.
"Someone stop her!" yelled the hedgehog, running up to grab Joey's arm. "Help him! Or Frank is toast!"
"It's Joey!" said Joey.
The other workers began sticking their tasers and cattle prods into the cage, trying to zap the animal. However, the creature seemed unfazed by their actions, and Joey began slipping out of the hedgehog's grip.
"Shoot her! SHOOT HER!" yelled the hedgehog at the top of his lungs. However, nothing worked as Joey finally slipped out of his hands and was pulled into the cage.
"Roger! NO!" the hedgehog mourned.
Joey suddenly pulled his head out of the cage to say, "IT'S JOEY!" before getting pulled back in.
Snakewater, Montana
A blue hedgehog wearing a cowboy hat and scarf was kneeling down on the rocky ground, slowly chiseling away the rock surrounding a specimen of dinosaur. He and his fellow scientists were excited to excavate a nearly-complete skeleton for the first time in years. At this point, all that was left to excavate was the dinosaur's jawbone.
"Are you guys almost done?" said an approaching purple cat with a red ruby on her forehead. "Sonic, you've been working all day!"
"It'll all be worth it when we get it out of the ground, Blaze," said the blue hedgehog, apparently named Sonic. "Aaaaand, that'll do it!" He rose from the ground to show how whatever bones still lived in the ground were now exposed. Of course, they wouldn't chip off all the rock, that might damage the bones. Sonic looked down at the the brilliant skeleton, which he recognized as the Velociraptor. It was around ten feet long, six feet tall, had a narrow snout, and two razor-sharp, sickle-shaped claws on it feet. While most Velociraptors were known to grow only to the size of a turkey, but Sonic had a theory some species of Velociraptor could grow to the size of a man.
"Well, mind if I get a picture?" said Blaze. She pulled out a camera, focused on the skeleton, and flashed a picture.
"I'm not really impressed by this thing," said another scientist, standing up from the ground. "I mean, I wish it was a T. rex or something."
"You know, a Velociraptor could be pretty scary, too," Sonic retorted.
"Oh yeah?" said another worker. "How?"
"Simple," Sonic grinned, pulling out a claw of the Velociraptor out of his pocket. "Back in the Cretaceous Period, a Velociraptor liked to hunt in packs, and their hunting method went a little something like this. You can see one standing directly in front of you. He doesn't move. You bob your head, he bobs his head. You think you're safe for the moment, until the attack comes, but not from the front. The attack comes from the side, from two raptors you didn't even know were there. And it just gets worse. He breaks out this very claw, and stabs and slashes at you with it, like a switchblade, carving you up like a Christmas ham. The point is… you are alive when they start to eat you."
The other workers looked pale-faced, disgusted by Sonic's description, and Sonic laughed and said, "Fortunately for you, they're long gone."
Suddenly, the sound of spinning blades filled the air, and Sonic, Blaze, and the others witnessed a helicopter descending on the dig site.
"Cover it up!" shouted Sonic, as his fellow scientists covered the skeleton with a blanket. Sonic and Blaze then walked up the hill to confront their new visitor.
Entering the team's RV, Sonic and Blaze saw a green crocodile wearing a golden necklace and straw hat rummaging around in their refrigerator.
"Get out of there!" Sonic spat, causing the crocodile to turn around to face them, holding a small bottle of water.
"My apologies, but I haven't made proper introductions yet," said the crocodile, offering his hand. "Vector Hammond, at your service. And I assume you're Sonic Grant, correct?"
Sonic suddenly felt his rage temporarily disappear as it dawned on him just who this old croc was. Vector Hammond happened to be the CEO of International Genetics Technologies, or InGen for short, and he just happened to be the dig site's biggest funds provider. For some reason, the old guy always wanted reports from Sonic about the behavioral patterns of the dinosaurs they studied. He didn't know much about InGen, only that they liked to research medicine.
"Mr. Hammond?" said Blaze, practically starstruck. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you!"
"And you are?" said Vector, shaking her hand. "A paleontologist like Dr. Grant here?"
"She's our lead paleobotanist, actually," Sonic explained. "She researches prehistoric plants."
"Ah," said Vector nodding. "Well, I came here for a reason. The truth is, my company, InGen, has been working on a secret project for twenty years now. I own an island, 120 miles west of Costa Rica, called Isla Nublar. And now, I've set up a little theme park."
Sonic and Blaze exchanged skeptical glances. What would the CEO of a genetics company want to make a theme park for?
"Anyway, the thing is, things aren't running as swimmingly as I hoped. We, um, recently had and accident, and, uh, one of our employees was fatally injured as a result. It was a technical malfunction at the most, but now my investors have been spooked. They fear future incidents, so they've insisted on some outside opinions on making sure the island is safe."
"What kind of opinions?" said Blaze.
"Well, your kind, actually, not to put too fine of a point on it," Vector continued. "They already have some other people coming too, but I figured someone like you, Dr. Grant, could give the most believable opinion."
"Why would they want my opinion on a theme park?" said Sonic, still skeptical. "What kind of park is this, anyway?"
Vector grinned mysteriously. "It's right up your alley. So what I was thinking, is that you, Dr. Grant drop by the park for the weekend. And I'd be happy to invite you too, Dr. Sattler. I'd love a paleobotanist's opinion as well."
"Eh," Blaze shrugged, "I don't know."
"We just dug up a new skeleton…" Sonic began, before the old crocodile cut him off.
"You know, I do have the funds necessary to pay for your dig, for the next full year, if you came?"
Sonic and Blaze glanced at each other, surprised. They wordlessly discussed the matter with each other, until Sonic looked over at Vector, grinned and said, "When can we leave?"
Vector's long mouth formed another grin, and he said, "Tomorrow morning. You won't regret it!"
Whoa, man, are they gonna regret it! Anyway, please review. All rights to Sonic the Hedgehog belong to Sega, and all rights to Jurassic Park belong to Universal Studios.
