"I'm bored."
"So?"
"So…fix it!"
"I'm not your entertainment system, damnit!!"
"…that's not what you were saying last night!"
"Talk during sex doesn't count."
"I know bu-HEY! The only time you tell me you love me is during sex!!!"
"No it isn't!!!"
"Yes it is!"
"No it ISN'T!"
"Fine then. When was the last time you told me 'I love you'?"
"Yesterday. When we were on the couch watching tv."
"You mean right after I gave you a blowjob?"
"…"
"So…you…don't love me."
"N- "
"See! I knew it. Was I just a piece of ass all this time?!!!!"
"No I meant tha-"
"Did what we do together mean nothing to you?"
"No baby it di-"
"I trusted you…"
"And I would never betray that tru-"
"I told you all my secrets!"
"That made me so happy that you were able to shar-"
"I told you about all my secret fantasies."
"And I helped you fulfill them!"
"I shared my secret stash with you!!!!"
"The chocolate was divine sweety!"
"And it all meant NOTHING to you?"
"It meant everything to me!"
"Don't lie to me!"
"Baby please! Don't cry."
"'M not crying…"
"Baby I do love you."
"No. You said so yourself. Sex talk doesn't count."
"I was lying."
"No
you weren't!!"
"Yes I was!"
"Oh, so you're a liar now!!! So were you lying to me when you told me you loved me?"
"No! I'm not a liar!!"
"So you were telling the truth when you said sex talk doesn't count!"
"No I didn't. Stop twisting my words around."
"I'm not twisting anything. I am just repeating what you said."
"No you aren't. You are manipulating my words."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Do you love me?"
"Are too!!!"
"…"
"…"
"So. Do you?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Huuuhhhh. YES!"
"Say it!"
"What?"
"Then say it?"
"Why should I have to say it?"
"Because I want you to. And you should just say it anyway."
"Do I have too!!"
"Yes."
"Fine. Idluvjoo."
"Sorry, didn't catch that."
"I said that Ibloveyou."
"Quit mumbling. Pick up your head a bit and look at me in the eye. Oh, and speak into this!!"
"I said that I- is that a voice recorder?"
"No."
"Yes it is."
"No it's not. I just want you to speak into this."
"For no reason at all?"
"For no reason at all."
"…"
"Fine. It's not everyday one hears the powerful all mighty you say something so sweet and affectionate."
"Which is why I don't say it often."
"Why?"
"It's not good for my reputation."
"What reputation?"
"The 'bad-with-no-feelings-what-so-ever-and-wouldn't-blink-an-eye-if-a-baby-was-crying' reputation."
"You call that a reputation?"
"Yes."
"Ah well. It didn't suit you anyway."
"Correction. It did suit me until a certain someone waltzed into my life and changed that."
"Ah, that was the first dance you and me shared."
"What?"
"Waltz."
"Only you."
"Only me what?"
"Only an idiot like me can fall for an idiot like you."
"So you admit it!"
"Yes."
"Say it."
"I lo-"
"Wait. Speak into this."
"Again with the recorder!"
"Please."
"No."
"Puleeeeeaaaze!"
"Sheesh. Fine."
"Okay. GO!"
"I lov-"
"Is this thing even on?
"Table the damn recorder!"
"No. It's on."
"…"
"You can say it now!"
"The things I do for you."
"The things I put you through."
"Is it on."
"Yep!"
"No problems?"
"Nope!"
"Are you sure?"
"Look just say the dar-"
"I love you."
"Oh, say it again!"
"…I love you."
"Now say it louder!"
"Why?"
"You need to make up for all the trauma you just put me through. And if you want to get any for the next we-"
"I LOVE YOU!!!!!"
"Good."
"Did I make you happy?"
"Yes, you made me very happy."
"I'm glad."
"…"
"…"
"I'm bored."
