I Needed a Drink

Waltzing into her apartment at stupid o'clock, I would have expected to receive an ear-full of her posh gob and yet I knew that today she would let me in with no questions asked. As today has been the shittiest day going. The thought occurred to me while consuming my usual after work alcohol alone, that perhaps if I was with her then maybe, just maybe it could seem just that bit better.

In one hand I held a bottle of Luigi's red house rubbish and in the other two well-used glasses. Beyond the door was the apartment holding the woman in which I was seeking. I banged on the door with four straight knocks, feeling the affect of the half of bottle of whisky I had already consumed as I tried to stand up straight and yet still found myself leaning on the door frame for some well needed support.

Upon her opening the door I made no time for introductions I simply said one sentence that I knew would be a good enough explanation as to why I was there. "I needed a drink"

I located the coffee table and walked straight towards it, I more stumbled, and began pouring out the content on the bottle into the glasses. I heard her close the door behind me and felt the need to explain my presence. My mouth opened, but useless shit came out "I never thought…" what? At the moment it was hard to think of anything except Chris and his betrayal. I sighed. "It's all shit isn't it?"

Still filling the glasses I heard her voice standing right behind me. "Yeah. It is"

Standing up, I passed her one glass while I held the other and looked into her eyes for the first time since storming into her flat. I looked deep into her warm eyes: mainly brown with a small hint of green, filled with something that was different to me, something I had never seen before, something that made me knew I could trust her. Her face wore no make-up and she stood before me in her flimsy dressing gown and yet still she managed to look half decent.

It was today when I knew that she was the only person whom I could really trust, really rely on. I didn't even have to play my silly games with her like the rest of the team because I knew that she could never and would never do anything to purposely go against this trust between her and the team. The trust between her and me.

Usually when facing tough moment in my life I like to face them alone, but when waiting for Chris to enter that room and watching her turn her back to leave I felt this overpowering urge for her to stay. Closing my eyes momentarily I remembered "Stay". It was then, in that moment that I realised that she was something special, despite all her girlness, her posh bollocks, her insistence on always being right she had managed to become somebody that I now relied on, and without I would stumble.

Now, I stood here in front of that very woman and I could think of nothing better to do then make a toast. Raising my glass I spoke with a slight huskiness to my tone, which I assume to be as a result of the whisky earlier.

"To you and me Bolly." both raising our glasses to collide in midair causing a 'cling' to vibrate through the glasses. "You and me" I sounded as if I was about to break into bloody song and yet somehow those words held more meaning than what they had intended. I brought the glass to my lips and gulped down half its content in one mouthful.

Looking at her again questions passed through my head, which along with all the other crap at the moment was like the icing on a big burned bloody cake: What if she really does leave? Who will I have to lean on, to drink with, to argue with? I sighed and pushed these questions to one side. One day I promised myself that I would build up the courage, perhaps after drinking a larger amount of alcohol than this, and ask her these questions and ask her to stay. Really ask her to stay, not just because I want her too, but because I almost need her around now.

I reinforced the promise. Someday soon, but until then I would wait for many more moments like this one. Just me and my Bolly drinking the night along with all its troubles away.