A/N: I do not own Hawaii Five 0. A one shot. Not set in any specific time. Had to clear it out of the way. Will be back to "Lost" by the end of the week.
Not entirely sure about this one... Please tell me what you think.
"I can't understand you."
"I know you can't. This is why I can't imagine why you still try. Don't you ever get tired?"
"I'm a very strong man" Danny grumbles "very dedicated..."
"More like... obsessed" Steve murmurs under his breath.
"You are changing the subject" Danny glares at him "we were discussing your psychological issues, not mine!"
"What psychological issues? I have no..." the questioning look Danny sends him, makes him stop midsentence "fine... whatever... what's your point?"
"Did you see the invitation?"
"I did. Yes."
"What did it say?"
"It said you are invited to the governor's ball, Saturday night."
"That's it? that's what you remember?"
"Is this a test or something?" he looks at his partner curiously "is this like one of these games when they show you twenty objects and ask you to remember them after staring at them for thirty seconds?"
"A game? what game? who the hell plays this stupid game anyway? are you out of your... never mind, don't answer me. No, it's not a game, Steve. What else was written there?"
"Mmmm... Cordially!" Steve cries happily "it said cordially invited to the governor's ball. Did I win?"
"Fine" Danny shakes his head "what else?"
"What else?" Steve says rubbing his face "Oh I know, it said official attire mandatory! Wow, I'm really good at it, go on..."
"It said plus 1!" Danny shouts at him with frustration "you misanthropic monster. It said plus 1."
"So?" Steve looks at him with surprise "what's your point?"
()()()
They enter HQ with Danny in the lead, and Steve shaking his head in despair right after him. When they bump into Chin and Kono who stand near the smart table, Danny's second outburst is already inevitable.
"What now?" Kono cries desperately "you were only going to submit a simple warrant request. How, in the name of all that is holly, were you able to have a fight about that?"
"Is it about police procedures again?" Chin asks carefully "because I was quite sure Steve promised to let us follow proper procedure at least twice a month..."
"It's about the Governor's ball, actually" Danny tells them and sees both their faces grow pale in an instant.
"Right..." Kono drawls "that's really... fascinating... but I think I need to go now to... to put a quarter in the parking meter..."
"Yeah, cuz" Chin says quickly "I'll go with you. I need... I need to check something..."
"You two stay exactly where you are!" Danny glares at them "we are going to discuss it, now. All of us, together."
"I knew it would never end well..." Kono sighs "this is why I wanted to be on call that night, but you didn't let me!" she glares at her boss.
"Nobody is on call that night" Steve retorts without batting an eye "if I have to suffer there, you are all going to suffer there with me!"
"You see?!" Danny cries indignantly "I knew you would ruin it for me!"
"How the hell am I ruining it for you?" Steve raises is hands in exasperation "believe me, if it was up to me, I wouldn't even go!"
"Of course you are ruining it for me" Danny glares at him "you all are. All I wanted is for the four of us to have one civilized evening together. In a polite and elegant society, where I can wear a tie, and drink champagne, and eat little toasts with foie gras, maybe even dance..."
"I'm not dancing with you, Danny" Steve says disgustedly, taking a step back.
"You're very funny, Steven. Really." Danny notifies him "it doesn't matter anymore, it's all ruined anyway. I knew it would happen."
"What's your problem, man?" Steve asks in confusion "we all have separate invitations. I already told you I'm going, because I have to. I promise, I'll wear whatever you want me to wear, and eat whatever you want me to eat. I swear."
"It's not that" Danny grumbles "I know exactly what will happen, you'll just stand there the whole evening, feeling miserable, and like you're under siege or something, you'll look at everyone like they're all potential assassins, you'll complain about the food, about the music, you'll embarrass yourself with your complete inability to conduct sensible small talk with the other guests, and I'll have to babysit you the whole time."
"Common Danno..." Steve looks at his partner "I would never..." he looks at his other team members who suddenly seem to be very preoccupied with the computer for some reason "common guys..."
"Well..." Chin coughs slightly "it actually sounds like a likely scenario..."
"Look Danny" Steve says apologetically "I would have gladly stayed home if I could..."
"I don't want you to stay home, Steven" Danny sighs "I want you to bring a date! someone that will make you enjoy yourself too, so I could be free to be with Gabby. I want all of us to have dates, like normal people. But you are all so selfish, you don't even care."
"I'm bringing Malia" Chin says quickly "and I'll eat the foie gras, and dance and everything."
"Well?" Danny looks at Kono, with anticipation.
"Well..." she looks hesitatingly back at him "I can ask Malia too, but I think she's already going with Chin."
"No seriously, babe" Danny shakes his head at her "who are you bringing?"
"What? no one... I was really hoping to be on call, until Steve disallowed it" she glares at her boss again.
"A beautiful girl like you? can't you ask one of your many admirers?" the whole team is looking at her when he says it "I've seen how all the guys look at you when you step into a bar, or a restaurant, or HPD for that matter. You know perfectly well, all you have to do is go somewhere tonight and invite the best looking dude who asks for your number."
There's a certain agitated curiosity in the way Chin and Steve are looking at her when they hear Danny's suggestion. They both cross their arms, watching her with raised eyebrows. Fucking Danny, they both look quite intimidating, all of a sudden.
"I'm not taking anyone" she says somewhat unsurely "I thought, perhaps, we could all go together. You're my friends... I want to hang out with you guys. I don't want to spend the whole evening with someone I don't know..."
"She's your cousin" Danny turns to Chin "get her to bring someone!" he orders.
"Danny, I was trying to prevent her from dating in the last ten years, the kid finally wants to go solo, I don't want to..."
"Did you hear me, Kelly?" he arches his eyebrow at him "do as I say. If she has a problem with a proper date, get her to bring one of the hundreds of relatives you two have."
Steve's phone that rings suddenly, stops the heated discussion that ensues between all of them, after his last suggestion.
()()()
They have a new case. A body is found in a smashed up car in the bottom of the harbor. The driver is dead. When they try to reconstruct the scene, they realize the car crashed into the harbor from the top of the hill above it. They drive to the north shore to talk to the victim's brother. He lives in a condo registered to both siblings. When they get there, the guy is a wreck, cries a lot and looks pretty devastated with the news. They find that the last time the victim came to the condo, a week before his death, the brothers had a very big fight. It became physical pretty quickly, and ended up with the victim gone, and his brother in need of medical treatment in the emergency room. They take a few pictures of his still apparent injuries, and roam around the condo for a while. But eventually, when they find nothing, they make their way back to HQ.
"Sooo... I... tried to do you a favor..." Danny says off handedly when they drive back to HQ.
"You did?" Steve looks at him with surprise.
"Yeah..." Danny bites his lower lip "it seemed like a good idea at the time..."
"What did you do, Danny?" there's a considerable amount of agitation in Steve's voice, that suddenly makes Danny wish he didn't say anything.
"First, let me remind you that you are my best friend, and everything I did, I did because I care about you, and wanted you to be happy."
"What - did - you - do-?!" Steve's voice is low, but there is enough intensity in it to make Danny's blood freeze in his veins.
"I called Catherine..."
"You did what?!" Steve cries in mortification, as he screeches the car into a halt.
"I only wanted to help you" Danny cries "I wanted you to have a date for the governor's ball. You like her, she's fun, and she's pretty. I thought she'd be a perfect date for you."
"You called her to ask her to go to the governor's ball with me?" Steve looks at him like he'd grown another head "are you out of your fucking mind?"
"It was a perfectly reasonable idea" Danny glares at him "you two have been fucking each other on and off, for the last eight years. Her ship is stationed in the harbor right now, how the hell should I know that..."
"That..." Steve looks at him furiously "know that..."
"How the hell should I know that you ended it four months ago?"
"For crying out loud, Danny" Steve groans, as he rubs his face with his hands "what in the name of god did you tell her?"
"Nothing really..." Danny looks at him shamefully "I called, asked her how she's doing, told her that we all miss her very much, and that by the way, we have that ball and that I don't know if she's free or not, but that you and I talked, and you mentioned something about a date, and that because you are an uncivilized caveman you probably forgot, but she should give you a call, because you'd simply love to take her."
"Jeez, Danny... you have no idea what you've done."
"I actually do" Danny says guiltily "she started shouting, and calling you... well, very creative names that I imagine she picked up in the Navy. She said that you showed up at her place four months ago, knocked on the door, refused to come in when she invited you to. Told her you're sorry, but you're breaking things off. You know that you owe her more, after all the time you've known each other, but you can't really say anything more specific. You said it was getting nowhere, that it was good when it was a casual thing once in a few months, but when you think about the fact that you are currently stateside, spending all your time on the same island, you realize that you want something else. She told you that you can try to make it work, that you hardly gave it a shot. That you never actually tried to include her in your life on a real intimate level, which I have to say, I completely agree..."
"Danny..." Steve groans again.
"Well you really didn't." Danny insists "anyway, she was really furious and hurt... she told me she hit you."
"She did" Steve's voice sounds muffled, his face buried in his arms on the wheel.
"She said that she asked you if there's someone else, and that you said that there might be..."
"She told you that?" Steve shakes his head in despair.
"Yes. Which, you know I thought was kind of weird" Danny explains "so... I might have... I actually might have told her that there isn't. That you're definitely not dating anyone else. That you work all the time, and you're very lonely..."
"Lonely?" Steve's looks at him in shock.
"Yes..." Danny grumbles "and I'm very persuasive, and I thought I was doing you a favor, as I already told you. So... she kind of said that she's gonna call you."
"I'm going to shoot you, Danny" Steve shouts as he turns on the car "I'm going to shoot your head off. But my gun is too small, so I'm going to use Chin's shotgun. They're gonna find pieces of your body around the island for centuries."
()()()
It's two days later when Chin and Steve are going over the list of real estate that belong to their victim's family, when there's a sudden crashing sound coming from the door. Danny and Kono are back from the lab, after comparing the wounds on the brother's body with the records from the emergency room. It's the second day Steve has them working together, because he doesn't trust himself enough not to hurt his partner and turn him into a bloody pulp. He thought he would be over it by now, but the two fucking hours he spent on the phone, with Catherine the previous night, explaining to her that there's not even a glimpse of a chance they'll ever hook up again, not to mention, go out together, made him decide to keep the distance from his partner for a little longer. When he and Chin raise their heads to the sound, they see Kono marching furiously into the room, and Danny running after her.
"You're overreacting, babe. It was nothing..." he calls after her pleadingly.
"Nothing?" she turns towards him sharply "nothing? are you fucking kidding me? you stood there in the middle of the lab, with at least half a dozen lab technicians around us, and asked Charlie if he wants to go out with me!"
"You did what?!" Steve and Chin look at him in dismay.
"You pretty much solicited him to go out with me, in front of everybody."
"I didn't solicit him" Danny huffs "I simply suggested that, maybe, he would like to join all of us to the governor's ball, and that he'll probably have a good time."
"You said it's a once in a life time opportunity for him to go out with the best looking woman on the island." Kono glares at him tapping her foot.
"Well, it's true..." Danny says quickly "you really are an exceptionally beautiful woman."
There's a certain force to the way Chin and Steve nod in agreement to this last declaration.
"He just started dating Leilany!" Kono cries.
"Who?" Danny asks in confusion "you mean Charlie is dating someone? who? oh! that little sweet mousy one? the forensic anthropologist?"
"Yes" she cries in frustration "the one who accidently dropped the big box of tubes and petri dishes, the minute you shared your brilliant idea with everybody."
"Well, it's your fault!" he shouts at her again after a short guilt filled silence "the ball is tomorrow, and you still haven't found yourself a proper date."
"That's it!" she says determinedly as she's walking towards Chin's office.
"That's it? what do you mean that's it? where are you going?" he calls after her.
"I'm going to get Chin's shotgun" she notifies him "I'm going to shoot you. I swear Danny, they'll still be finding pieces of you around the building, next Christmas."
()()()
When she enters the big ballroom, it takes her a few seconds to adjust herself to her surroundings. The place is huge. There are so many people, and they are all dressed up, talking and laughing. She looks up to the ceiling, and counts twelve chandeliers hanging down from it, spreading beautiful glittering light all over. On the walls and windows there are many long red velvet curtains, and all around the room, there are tens of beautiful arrangements of candles and flowers. There's a quiet music, coming from a string quartet on the stage. Many tables, all covered with scarlet table cloths, and the most delicate china plates she had ever seen. All the guests are walking around, with champagne glasses, and small plates of food. She has to admit it, Danny knew what he was talking about.
She sees Danny and Chin on the other side of the room, and she has to hold herself from her initial instinct to shout towards them. She walks down the few marble steps, trying not to trip on her dress, and moves towards them.
She finds Chin and Malia, and Danny and Gabby, and they all hug and kiss and it's pretty fun. Malia and Gabby are all over her the minute she gets there, complimenting her on her beautiful dress. She glances at Danny, and he smiles broadly towards her.
"You look great, babe" he winks at her "I hope all this is not too much of a strain for you, after all."
"Nah Brah" she laughs at him "you were totally right. It's amazing."
"Yes, it is pretty amazing" he shrugs "but wait until you taste the foie gras."
"Fine" she laughs "I heard so much about it, I should finally try it. Go on, lead the way."
()()()
He gets there late. Of course he does. He really hates to do it to Danny, and he can imagine the amount of grief he's gonna give him when he actually get there, but what can he do? the stupid brother, which they proved killed their victim, and which his injuries were proven to be a result of him pushing his brother's car, and not from the pretended fight. The stupid guy resisted arrest, and made it all much more difficult than it should have been. He found himself resisting the resistance, in a... in a relatively hostile, but quite effective way. The arrest was done hours ago, but he had to sit with IA, for the fifth time this month, and go through the entire procedure. Again. He actually made fewer traffic violations than he thought he would, when he rushed home to change. He took a shower and got dressed in a little less than fifteen minutes, and made his way to the old city hall, only fourty five minutes late.
()()()
He enters the big ballroom, and it takes him a few seconds to adjust himself to his surroundings. The place is way bigger than what he was expecting, and there are definitely way too many people than he hoped. They are all dressed up, looking like penguins. He can hear them all talking and laughing, and it makes his head spin. He looks up to the ceiling to find twelve tacky chandeliers hanging there. There are also those long red velvet curtains, that remind him of a brothel he saw in Turkey once, moreover, there are all those questionable, and quite objectionable candles and flowers everywhere, he finds it pretty ridiculous. There's an indistinct music coming from somewhere, and he can recognize the pretentious string quartet on the stage. It's actually way worse than he thought. All the guests are walking around, with champagne glasses, and small plates of food, and he finds himself searching for the governor and the other HPD officials, in order to avoid them for as long as possible. He looks around him in apprehension, and realizes he has at least four more hours to spend in this awful place.
He sees Chin and Malia on the other side of the room. They stand together, talking and laughing to each other. Malia's hand is moving gently on Chin's back, and he in his turn, kisses her under her ear. He spots Danny and Gabby a few feet from them, eating what he has to assume is this French delicacy the guy was on about in the last two weeks. They look happy, and Danny even looks relaxed. When they raise their glasses and laugh at something, Danny spots him standing there watching them, and waves him over.
()()()
She's standing on her own, a few yards from Danny, trying to do something... something weird. He watches her like a hawk. He can hardly breathe, when he sees her, she's the most beautiful creature in the entire room. She stands there, wearing the most beautiful deep blue dress he had ever seen. The delicate fabric wraps her body, and extenuates every curve and every angle. Her beautiful long arms and her shapely shoulders are exposed, and the deep cleavage is low, showing her delicate neck and her beautiful sun kissed skin. The dress wraps her long and slender body, falling around her in like a circular wave, but it leaves a high slit on one side, and when she moves he can see her long leg through it. She wears no jewelry, her hair is done messily on the top of her head. He is so transfixed by her appearance, he feels like everything else in the room had just evaporated, and that the only thing that remained there is her. He suddenly feels quite differently about coming here. If he could only figure out what the fuck she is doing... now that, that would be great. She seems to be focusing on something on one of the tables, and she keeps pulling the table cloth, first with her hand, and then with her leg. She looks around her anxiously, hoping nobody can see her. He can see how she shakes her head with frustration, looking again carefully around her. Then, she turns towards him and her eyes lay on him.
()()()
She sees him standing at the entrance to the big ballroom. He is wearing a tux in a way that should be illegal, if you ask her. The black jacket and trousers are impeccable, the white dress shirt beneath it, exposes just enough of his neck. Yes, his neck. Because he stands there in front of everybody, with a tussled hair, in a tux, with his hands in his pockets and his bow tie undone. His arrogant self assured, unbothered appearance makes her feel the familiar pull at the pit of her stomach. She swears, he's the sexiest man alive. She feels how her heart beats faster and her mouth is getting dry, when she continues to just stand there and stare at him silently. She releases a small gasp when she realizes he stares right back at her. She senses how his eyes move slowly on the length of her body, and it makes her feel a bit self conscious, and to blush under his stare. It goes on like this for a few long moments, before he looks like he made a decision, and walks down the steps.
()()()
"What were you doing?" he asks her when he gets there, and she smiles sheepishly thinking he refers to her staring at him.
"What do you mean?"
"With the table cloth" he explains "what were you doing there?"
"Oh, that" she laughs in relief "it's Danny's stupid foie gras. It's awful, I almost puked. I tried to get rid of it, but it fell from that tiny toast, and straight on the table cloth, and then it got stuck and I couldn't hide it, and it became a mess, and now it's spread all over the place, and I tried with my leg and..." He looks at her in astonishment, his eyes wide and a faint smile on his lips. "Please don't tell Danny" she begs him "he was having such a good time finally, I don't want him to lose it all over again."
"Lose what?" Danny asks from behind them "well, hello super SEAL, I can see that you finally decided to join us."
"Hi, Danny" Steve rolls his eyes at him "are you having fun?"
"I actually am" Danny nods "everyone is on their best behavior. Hey Kono, how was the foie gras?"
"It was unbelievable" she says quickly "I never thought I would ever encounter anything like that in my life."
"You see? I told you!" he marvels at his victory "why are you not dressed?" he turns to Steve in shock.
"I'm wearing a tux." he cries indignantly "how more dressed can I be, for god's sakes?"
"Would it have killed you to fix your tie?" Danny scolds him "here, let me."
"Leave me alone, Danny." Steve warns him "I can do it myself."
"I sincerely doubt it, babe" Danny glares at him "you simply can't let any..."
"Hey, guys!" Kono calls out as she takes a place between them "Danny, why don't you go dance with Gabby, I'll fix his tie."
"It's a great idea, Danny" Gabby smiles kindly towards him "thak you" she mouths to Kono when they make their way to the dance floor.
They stand there in the middle of the room, and he lets her move her long delicate fingers on his chest, and on his neck, looking at her concentrated expression when she fixes his tie meticulously.
"There you go" she smiles towards him, her hands straitening the jacket on his shoulders.
"Thanks, babe" he whispers to her, and leans over to kiss her cheek "now let's dance."
()()()
They move slowly on the dance floor, her right arm around his neck and the other resting on his chest, he has one arm around her waist, as he moves the other one to caress her face gently. She looks up at him, smiling.
"I still can't understand why you didn't simply tell them you're taking me" she smiles "I can't see what difference it would have made."
"And see them explode when they realize we're together?" he looks at her incredulously "no way."
"Well, it would have definitely been easier" she shakes her head at him "I mean, with all the aggravation, the fights with Danny, the call from Catherine..."
"Collateral damage" he says dismissively "like in any other operation."
"You're crazy" she laughs at him "why did we have to make it so complicated? we should have just tell them from the beginning, and get it over with."
"That we're a couple?" he snorts "don't be ridiculous. This is the perfect way to come out with it, in a controlled environment where nobody is armed. Trust me, Danny is so ecstatically happy that you're keeping me company, and Chin is satisfied that you have me hanging around you, and that you're not lonely. I'm telling you babe, when they'd finally figure out that we spent the whole evening together, and that I actually took you home with me, it will be the middle of next week. By then, the whole island will already be talking about us, and there will be nothing they can do about it."
"You're out of you mind" she laughs.
"I'm a strategic genius" he corrects.
"You are, baby" she smiles at him lovingly "you are a very clever man."
"Are we still talking about my convoluted plan?" he asks with bemusement.
"No, babe" she laughs at him "this plan is crazy, and stupid, and it will probably come back to bite us in the ass. I'm talking about you taking me home."
He kisses her properly this time, holds her close against him, and presses his lips to her delicious mouth. She feels him swallowing her body and soul, and she holds him tight as her heart threatens to burst out of her ribcage. He's right, it's a great plan. A wonderful, ingenious, cleverly orchestrated plan. What else can she say about a plan that has him standing here kissing her like this? It's perfect.
