She was scared. So, so scared. And hurt too.

She was huddled into the smallest ball she could manage to become in the fartherest corner of the room. And there wasn't much space to begin with.

And she was alone. Oh! so alone.

She missed her brother Ryu, and Reno, and Kiyori, and Aiko, and Matt too. She missed her friends.

She wished to escape from here.

She did not like it here. At first, he seemed like a nice man, but not anymore. He had helped her after all. It was her troop's turn to go 'shopping'. As usual they had entered the city and the 'shopping' had gone well. Just like always. But at the last moment something went wrong and she got caught. Civilians had tried to turn over the theif to the police. She panicked. She did not like police, they would send her to orphanage. She had escaped that place on a great cost.

She was so panicked that she pleaded to not to call the police. That's when he had come forward and extended help. He had told that he was an off-duty police officer and hauled her into his car. But then he said that he wouldn't take her to police station. He had said that he would keep her safe and away from all bad people. She trusted him. Why? Because he reminded of her daddy. He had smiled the same way. And she felt safe. He had taken her home, promising to drop her off by evening.

He had brought her food and sweets, even ice-cream. He had told lies that he had always wanted a daughter, just like her. And she had loosened up a bit more. He had been the picture of a perfect father. A perfect father a child would envision to have. After all she too was child of 8. So, why did she have to be cautious? She had dropped her guard down, too soon.

With evening came rain, hampering their plan to return. So he insisted that she stay. She had agreed reluctantly. She was worried. Her friends would about her. He had made delicious dinner and given her a warm bed to sleep. And she happily galloped to her dreamland.

Maybe around midnight, she had woken up to a strange feeling. It was too dark to be able to see properly but her other senses were at peak. It felt as if something, or numerous things as how it was feeling, was crawling over her leg. It was a tingling sensation that just made her skin crawl. Was that a snake?

But that didn't feel like a snake. She just tried to keep down her shivering. Slowly and carefully, she pried her eyes open to look around. The room was utterly dark and she couldn't see anything. But she could hear faint rustle of cloth. Someone was in her room. That did not feel good at all. It was down right creepy. She could even hear soft breathing, erratic.

She bolted upright when a hand slipped under her Tee and the fingers caressed her stomach. Fingers? That had felt wrong, totally wrong. She didn't know why, but that definitely, was wrong. She was just a breath away from screaming her lungs out, when a large and calloused hand covered her mouth. Whatever was happening, it was wrong. Her 8 year old mind could decipher that.

She, frantically, tried to get down the bed but a pair pf hands grabbed her and kept her on the bed. This felt so, so wrong. Someone had broken into the nice man's home and was trying to hurt her. She so needed to scream for help.

She had to fight and she did with all her might. But her lithe body of 8 year old wasn't strong enough. She even tried to bite his hand. That's when he whispered into her ear that sent chills down her spine.

"Its OK sweetheart, its just me"

It was him. The same nice man with sweet voice that had helped her get away from angry, mean people. It was creepy. She started to sob as his hand crept up her tee and caress her skin. She didn't understand this but it felt bad, it felt wrong and she hated this.

"I'm gonna take care of you, baby. Real good care of you. And you're gonna love this sooooo much," he whispered it in her ear. This made her body wrack in louder sobs. She wanted to cry out for help, she wanted to scream but he quickly replaced his hand with a ball of cloth. Still she screamed at the top of her lungs, muffled by the cloth. She screamed for her daddy, her mommy or Matt. Anyone! HELPPPP...

She started to thrash out in panic. She tried to kick him. She was so scared. But what power did a child have against a full grown man? Soon, she was tired. She flailing got sluggish and she could hardly breathe through her sobs.

His wandering hands had gotten her tee off of her and now they were creeping towards her shorts. Her tired limbs tried to fight if off.

How could he do this? She had trusted him. She vowed to never talk to any stranger, never take help from a stranger and never ever trust any stranger, specially a man. They were bad.

Soon, her shorts came off. She shivered out of cold and fear. He was whispering creepy things into her ear and he smelled like alcohol.

Was he getting on her bed? Why? It was too small for him.

And why was he naked? She could feel his naked body hovering over her.

She was wondering such things in her panicked mind when searing pain tore through her lower body. As if she was being torn into two from inside out. It hurt too much. She felt like dying.

She screamed through the cloth once before passing out in pain.


"AHHHHHH"

A scream tore through otherwise silent room. She was lying on a comfortable chair with her eyes closed. Her face scrunched up in pain. Pain she had endured long ago as a child, which refused to leave her, let her live her life in peace. Tear streamed down her cheeks.

And he had to watch her re-live her nightmare. He couldn't do anything for his Sayo. Not even hold her hand through these sessions. His grim face were clear indication of his pain. He was ready to wait, he had told her that she should feel easy enough for this. She wanted it. He knew it was good for her, but damn it, he couldn't watch her in pain.

"Its OK Sayo. You're fine, just fine. I'm right here. You're safe," her face started to relax.

"That's it, relax," a soothing voice, much like her mother's, guided her out of the trance. Few minutes later, she finally opened her eyes. Her frosty eyes were dulled with emotional pain.

She shakily wiped her sweat clammed face and asked her friend, "How did it go?"

"You tell me, how do you feel?" the doctor asked back.

"Honestly? Like shit," she snorted.

"What do you expect Sayo? You would not get over it in a heartbeat. You were in denial for years. You refused to talk about it. But today you faced it. Some part of it. You accepted this trauma of your life and its first step towards your recovery. Trust me, you will get over it. Soon," the doctor smiled kindly.

"I trust you Aiko," she took her friend's hand in her own, "I trust you with my life. Thank you."

Aiko smiled mischievously, "And I think you should get out of this stuffy room to the arm of you beau. He has been worried sick and waiting outside since forever. I guess he too might need some reassurance that you are fine."

"I guess so. See you later," she walked out to meet her love.


He had heard every word. How her trust had been broken by some man after ha made her trust in him. How some man had hurt his Sayo. No wonder, she was so reluctant to trust him.

As she came out to meet him, he quickly wiped away his angry tears. He held her in his arms, "How are you feeling?"

"As if huge load has been taken off my chest. I feel so light. But a little shaken too," she gulped.

"You didn't have to do this if you're not ready, Sayo. I can wait."

"I know," she smiled lovingly, "but I want this. I have stalled too much. I want you. I want to be with you without this fear holding me back."

"You sure?" he asked lifting her chin to meet her eyes. He own shining with concern.

She caressed his cheek, "You are my greener grass, Jin. And I have to reach you."


A/N: Child molestation is a truth of society, that can't be denied. And the trauma the child suffers afterward is greater that the act itself. They are afraid of people, situation, their life becomes difficult. I have gone through this once, I don't wish it on anyone. No one deserves it.
Usually children are molested by some one they know and trust. It could be anybody. It could be their neighbor, family friend, extended family and even from within the family. And they are so scared or naive that they never open their mouth. They never voice their pain. It is our duty as grown ups to look for the signs and keep them safe.
I couldn't do more justice and write longer detailed fic because, even after 11 years, its a sore subject and too difficult for me to write. But I tried anyway. And the massive writers block too.
Here, Jin, is the physical representation of my brighter future. That doesn't necessarily mean that I will need a man to be happy in my life. It could be anything that makes my life worth living.I have passed the phase of denial and accepted it as my traumatic past. I do not blame myself either, I know it was not my fault. I have already taken a step towards a better life and I vow to reach my greener grass.