Rose took one, long deep breath. Listening to the echoes of her own existence in the empty apartment. It all felt so familiar now; the tasteful beige curtains, the clean and underused kitchenette, low mood lighting glinting off stainless steel appliances. It was clean because someone came in to clean it every other day. It was a nice place, but it felt more like a hotel than anything, especially here in the living room where no one really spent time.

The whole place felt so empty now that everyone was gone. Half of their little group on a plane to Dallas while John would be at work until at least seven.

She wondered what it must have been like to come home to this empty, per-decorated place day in and day out, not really knowing whether the people you cared about even remembered your existence. She didn't want to contemplate it, but she did understand.

That foggy, hangover of a morning was the start of everything, or at least, the moment that she became aware of where she was. A smile lifted her cheeks at the thought, the memory of waking up in John's bed would always be one of her favorites, the smell of him on every surface, his old t-shirt balled up on the nightstand. The feeling of being comforted simply by the essence of a familiar soul.

It had been first the most random act of fate, then the most innocent of drunken mishaps. That night she had most certainly slept alone, the hapless gentleman taking his place on the very couch she now sat on. But there had been a split moment where she imagined otherwise, a moment where a sort of rush hit her hard in the gut, it was a feeling of secrecy, excitement, but, amazingly, no regret. The first inkling of where they were headed...

Rose pulled her legs up, curling into a ball and staring at the front door. She tried to ignore the static-y feel of nylons on upholstery. Normally, she'd just take them off, but there was something about tonight that made her want to stay put together. She glanced at the clock, 7:15, gosh she needed to stop trying to think of reasons why he might be running late. It was just going to drive her mad.

She took another long, deep breath. It was anyone's game now. Maybe it was better that he wasn't back yet. She honestly didn't know what would become of them, these past months had been emotional and confusing and not at all focused on reparation of either of their tattered love lives. Rather the protection of someone who was dear to them both, but even then, in the midst of the storm, they had found themselves drifting closer and closer.

That night when she had found him sitting in the dark, his head in his hands, silent tears running down his cheeks. There were no questions to be asked, but as he had buried his face into her chest and wept like a little boy, she could tell that something else had ended. It wasn't really her place to talk, but her own story came out unbidden. The long and broken path she had traced from the day that they had saved the universe. The directionless feelings of loneliness and inadequacy, the way that nothing had quite felt right since the moment she'd tried to be serious. It wasn't really fair, but she had been crying on his shoulder by the end of it.

Neither of them ever spoke of that evening again, but he never looked at her quite the same. The warmth in his eyes went beyond the mere friendliness and brotherly concern that drove him to take care of everyone with whom he crossed paths. And she stayed around for more reason than just necessity and misplaced guilt at the actions of another. They were never alone, but as time went on, their little displays of affection grew more distinct, the first time that he held her hand under the table she thought that that there was no way that no one would notice. Her thoughts had suddenly become so flustered and bright that they must have made some kind of beacon, but the conversation had gone on like always, just one flash of grinning blues eyes confirming who's warm palm rested in hers.

Passion grew in the accumulations of tiny gestures, a smile from across the room, a light touch on her hip as they passed one another in a tight space, then there was that precious moment when they turned a corner on crowded street, grocery bags slipping to the pavement as he held her face in his hands, warming her chapped lips with his own.

This wasn't the right time for a relationship, she had told herself, there were too many ways that they could rip one another apart. She didn't deserve to he welcomed back like this, not after all of her faithless exploits. She couldn't turn him away, but, she tried to convince herself, it would be best if things stayed at arms length.

But just a few nights later, the memory of that kiss became to difficult to ignore, it was exactly 2:36 am when she left the guest room to slip under his blankets for the second time. His reaction had been shy at first, but when she pressed one shaking hand to his startled face it said all that it needed to. Soon strong arms were pulling her in, undoing the clasps on her nightgown, whispering beautiful things into her ear. That sharp tingling surprise as he had come inside her for the first time, the breathless motion as they fit together like nothing she had felt before. The taste of cotton as she bit down on the bedsheets to keep from screaming-

Jeez- What was she even doing? This was not the time for dirty thoughts, there were a lot of important things for the two of them to discuss and nothing good would come of distractions like that.

The gravelly noise of of the door being unlocked drew her attention away from the past. Her heart beat faster in spite of itself.

He was home.

(OMG SORRY THIS FANFIC SUCKS! IT WILL BE IN TWO PARTS! THE NEXT PART WILL BE BETTER I SWEAR! OMG ))