Introduction
"The world of Third Earth and Three Quarters, a desolate, mudball of a planet situated on the left-hand side of the Milky Way galaxy."
"Right next door to Pacland, which is in turn next to Final Fantasy world, across the street from Cardcaptors land, a skip and trip away from Middle Earth, next to Candyland, five paces from Eternia, criss crossing through the Fifth Dimension, a u-turn past the Twilight Zone, next to the Land of Milk and Honey, five miles southwest from The Gates of Time, on the border of Narnia, situated in-between Cybertron and Thunderra, near the westside of the Moon Kingdom, off of exit 42 on the Intergalactic Highway, and drive five miles past the Tau Ceti Star System, take a right at the Negaverse, go three blocks past Vulcan, fight your way through Wonderland, sideswipe past the land of Terabithia, turn left in the Galaxy Far Far Away, take a short-cut through Whoville, past Convictland, past the dumpster, and that's us.
My name is Dafficus Dillicus, a.k.a. The Wizard, but my friends call me Daffy, rhymes with Taffy, which in turn rhymes with Laffy. As you may of figured out by now, I'm an all-powerful wizard, who defends the world of Third Earth and Three Quarters from those who would upset the natural balance of nature, and I look good while doing it.
I was trained by Master Atari, the most powerful wizard who ever lived, his was a personality best described as Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Elvis Presley and Frank Sinatra all wrapped up in one.
Then there's my squire, Porkus Pigglus, aka Porky, who's a decent sidekick, I can't complain.
Now for my rogues gallery; first off there's King Dynamite, ruler of the Dynaverse, he's an all-around nasty husk of a creature who smells of anchovy paste and skunks, who seems to hate my guts for some reason, could be because I stole his dime in the third grade, or maybe because I stole his girlfriend in high school, or maybe just maybe its because he's jealous of my good looks, goodness knows its not my fault I'm a hunk of masculinity.
Then there's Dynamite's generals, elite guards, monsters of the week and his hoardes of fire breathing dragons, but they're not important in this story.
Keep in mind, our planet does have its own Sailor Scout, but she's kinda lazy and doesn't really do anything except watch soap operas and reruns of the Rat Patrol.
Well, that just about does it with introductions, now on to action, on to adventure, on to romance, intrigue, pathos, mathematics, calculus and excitement, I am the Wizard.
