So after depressing myself with that last Jemily fic I decided to write something lighter - I hope you like it and as before constructive criticism is welcome, suggested listening is Wanted by Hunter Hayes

*Disclaimer - I Own Nothing

EDIT: Just as my other fic 'I'll Be The Bad Guy' this one was tagged as 'rule-breaking' or whatever, so just listen to the song please also the ~ are where the lyrics would have been.


I loved you since the first moment I saw you, I remember my exact thoughts when seeing you for the first time, your blonde hair shimmering and blue eyes staring at me with such intensity and I thought 'I'm in trouble' and I tried to pull my thoughts together but it was like you blasted all my compartments open and I was scrambling not to stumble.

Of course I humiliated myself in front of you but you just laughed at me (that laugh was something I could live on) and said that it was okay I was nervous, that you would think I was stuck up if I wasn't nervous and I smiled at that and you had smiled back then and my breath caught.

From then on it was an internal battle between many things, mainly not undressing you with my eyes – which was nearly as unsuccessful as my attempt at not staring at you. I did my best but it was a useless attempt and I ended up just making it worse for myself and I ended up thinking things that I really wish I hadn't when people were around.

After a while I got used to the constant bombardment of sunshine from you, it was the best part of my day and I tried to extend my time with you by staying late at work with you or bringing you meals when you were really focused (and you always forgot to eat when you were really focused).

I especially tried to touch you as much as possible (not in that way), just casual things, a hand on your arm in sympathy or brushing against you as I passed by you. I thought for a long time that I was eating bad mushrooms or something because you started doing it back but it never stopped – even when I stopped eating mushrooms altogether.

Then the eye contact, I stared and I didn't bother trying to hide it anymore because it was just too much of a hassle to bother with that and I wasn't very good at it, so it made sense that you caught me more than a few times but what didn't make any sense to me is that you held my gaze with no malice or suspicion at all.

We just looked at each other for a long time and it was… magical.

The day you asked me if I was gay was about seven months after the looks and touches began and when I answered with a nod you just smiled and said you didn't care but to stop staring at your ass and I blushed then chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck.

The next day you went out on a date with some guy and I was so depressed but you came to work the day after that with this determined look on your face and called me to your office, I was scared you were going to yell at me and tell me to stay away from me but you just leaned against you desk and told me to sit.

I did as told (obviously) and listened to you recount how your date went and cringed as you told me about how he started to lean in for a kiss and you complied but you weren't very happy about it.

I asked you why and you replied with 'I was thinking the entire time what your lips felt like' and after that I was like a broken record just opening and closing my mouth and you laughed at me. Honestly I don't even understand to this day how I got back to my desk but the next thing I know I was filing reports and doing work and trying not to get distracted.

I asked you out that weekend after a pep talk to myself in the bathroom, I walked into your office and sat down, waiting for you to be done with what you were doing and while you were finishing that my brain listed fifty-two ways this could go wrong and most had to do with a fictional coffee mug in my hands.

When you finally stopped and looked up at me I took a deep breath and blurted out 'Go out with me?' – It was perfect… but I said it in Arabic. You looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I realized my mistake, I face palmed myself then and you shook your head in amusement and I tried again. 'Go out with me?'

It came out right that time and you smiled brightly at me and chuckled before replying. 'I thought you'd never ask' and I laughed too before telling you to be ready tomorrow at seven.

I was so nervous that night as I drove to pick you up and I thought for sure I would pass out on your doorstep but I managed to knock on your door and stay conscious, when you answered though and you smiled a smile so bright at me it made me stumble and you asked me if I was alright.

I just nodded mutely before saying hoarsely 'You look fantastic' and you just shrugged at me before letting me lead you to my car, I try to be very chivalrous and open the door for you and all of that but the sweaty palms gave me away when I helped you out.

You told me to relax as we got to the table and I tried, we ordered and ate and finally I just blurted out why I was stiff when the waiter left after I asked for the check 'I've liked you for forever and your gorgeous and I can't talk around you and yeah' I shut up after that and when we got back to your place I thought for sure you'd tell me we'd never go out again.

You kissed me goodnight and told me I was the sweetest person ever but I really needed to loosen up.

On our second date it was much more casual and I yelled at myself for an hour before picking you up about loosening up and when I did pick you up (flowers in hand) your appearance still took my breath away but I managed to grin and hand you the flowers without too much of a hassle.

We went for a stroll in the park before going to your favorite café/coffee shop for a snack and you never let go of my hand (which was still sweaty). Afterwards I told you I was trying to loosen up but being near you made me fluster in a way no one ever did before.

You just pulled me into your apartment and told me we were going to watch movies like old times and I remember relaxing immediately.

My point is today Jennifer Lucy Jareau you become Jennifer Lucy Jareau-Prentiss and while I'm sorry for the fact that my family is so dysfunctional, I am not sorry that I met you or stared at you or got flustered by you.

You still make me stumble and fluster and I wouldn't want to change it ever – I love you with all my heart.