He had returned for me. Dean had…saved me.
Castiel's stoic position in the passenger seat didn't betray the way his inner monologue marveled at the last hour's chaotic events. Glancing side-eyed at Dean's tense form in the Impala's driver's seat, he couldn't be anything but joyous at the outcome. It welled up inside of him like a spring.
So many new feelings to catalog!
Mere minutes ago, he had been dismayed at the weakness of his newly human body and felt unfamiliar terror as he waited for his inevitable death at the hands of Ephraim. His last thought, which brought a pang of something achingly familiar, yet undefinable, to his chest, was of Dean. As Ephraim's blade prepared to plunge home, Castiel thought of how his death would disappoint Dean — the Righteous Man who counted on him.
Suddenly that Righteous Man was there, and Cas found himself with an angel blade in his hand, which he used to extinguish the fierce light in his fallen brother's eyes. The relief in Dean's countenance as he had assisted Castiel in standing had washed over him like a healing power and the smile he offered was like sustenance for Castiel's starving soul.
With Dean's strong hand in his, pulling him up to standing, Cas was suddenly very aware that Dean cared for him. Why he had never truly realized it until that point…he could only assume his grace had cloaked him from it for some reason. Probably related to the rules against angels and humans…mingling.
He had frozen in place, his eyes meeting Dean's intently with no regard for personal space. The position was familiar to them both, but never with such clarity for Castiel.
And in that moment, Castiel was suddenly very aware that he cared for Dean as well. He really cared. In ways that were different from his general regard for the hunter when Dean had merely been his charge.
So now, sitting in the Impala as it took them both to the small apartment Cas had managed to rent, the fallen angel was carefully hiding the elation at the turn of events. It was harder, however, to hide the activity happening in his lap.
Castiel's realization had brought on all manner of thoughts and feelings. Including thoughts that were never possible in an angel's consciousness — thoughts that were entirely unfathomable before.
Cas knew about sex, of course. He had observed humanity long enough to understand the basic workings of the body, and spending time with Dean and Sam had introduced him to some of the more specific rituals to attract a partner. Buying them a drink. Smiling at what they said. Body contact.
Castiel wondered if Dean's care for him would allow him to be receptive to a sexual encounter. And that led him to think about what might happen if he were receptive.
Which led to a very uncomfortable situation in Castiel's jeans. He shifted a bit, trying to work his erection into a more comfortable position.
Dean glanced over at the movement and turned down the radio volume. "Are you hurt, Cas?"
"I am uninjured, Dean. Thank you." His tone was off, not as gruff as usual.
"You sure?"
"Yes, Dean."
They lapsed into silence, just in time for Castiel's apartment building to come into view. Dean shook his head.
"You really should have found a better neighborhood to live in," he told Cas, easing next to the curb and turning off the engine.
"I find it to be satisfactory," Castiel replied, as a police car screamed past them, siren blaring and lights flashing. "It's…noisy, but affordable."
"I bet." Dean patted the top of the Impala after he climbed out, as if telling it to be safe.
Castiel was careful to keep his back to Dean to hide the bulge in his pants. After letting them both in, he motioned down the hall. "I'm in number 3."
"So you don't mind me crashing here for the night?"
"Of course not, Dean." Cas kept his voice steady, not indicating his nervousness. "You may even have the bed if you'd like."
Dean glanced around at the small, but tidy, space. "Don't be an idiot. Your place, your bed. I can take the couch."
"I…don't have a couch."
Dean whirled to face him, and Castiel moved his hands slightly to cover himself in front.
"Were you going to give me the bed and sleep on the floor?"
"Yes."
Dean sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Cas, you don't have to do that." Spying the open door to the bedroom, he continued, "That bed is plenty big for both of us. I just need a bit of shut-eye before I hit the road."
Castiel nodded, pleading silently with the hardness in his pants to not twitch at Dean's solution. "O…kay."
An hour later, Cas was still pleading with his erection, which had only gotten more insistent when Dean flopped down next to him and rolled to face the opposite side of the bed with a mumbled, "Night."
Several moments passed, and the tension in Castiel was almost more than he could bear. He could hear the beating of his heart in his own ears, and an echoing throb in his groin. He was aware of every deep breath emanating from the sleeping form next to him.
His instincts were screaming at him to touch himself, or to turn to the side and press his length against the hunter sharing his bed. Instead, he focused on the ceiling, and just hoped to will it away.
This was an entirely new experience. Castiel was not used to his body — or before, his vessel's body — operating of its own accord. He always had total control over it. And now he had a ridiculous rod straining against his pajama pants and no clue how to alleviate it.
He sighed, staring down at it in frustration. Cas tried very hard not to think of Dean, whose body warmth was radiating across the middle of the bed to tickle his side with the promise of heat. Daring to look over, he saw the blanketed form of his former charge clearly in the light from the full moon through the window. His erection twitched. Reaching down, he grasped it and tried to physically push it down.
The moment his fingers closed around his length, a tingle shot up his spine and he groaned softly. Releasing immediately, he took a shaky breath. Exasperated, he turned to his side, inadvertently tugging the blanket covering Dean.
"Cas?" The hunter's voice was rough with sleep.
Cas nearly blasphemed to himself. "I apologize, Dean."
He felt Dean shift to his back. "Are you sure you're OK? You've been huffing and squirming and keeping me awake."
The former angel's face burnt with embarrassment. "It's nothing."
Dean tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey. Hey! Would you look at me when I'm talking to you?"
"No, thank you."
At that, Dean sat up. "What gives, Cas? Look at me!"
Castiel was sure that the force of his blush was evident, even in the dimness of his room. Slowly, he turned from his side to lie flat on his back.
Dean was turned toward him, the blankets pushed down to his waist. "Thank you! Now, what the hell is the matter w…" His voice stopped with a strangled sound.
Castiel ducked his head in shame.
"Cas, dammit, have you been laying here this whole time with a freakin' boner?"
"I'm very sorry, Dean. I'll…" He sat up, intending to remove himself quickly from the room. A hand on his wrist stopped him.
"Has this happened before?"
Castiel shook his head. "I had experienced the physical reaction of blood flow to the region before…when I had my grace. But it always abated and never had an...urgency to it. It was more of a reaction of my vessel."
Dean's cheek twitched with a suppressed grin. "So is there an urgency now?"
Cas's eyes were wide as he nodded.
"Do you know how to…take care of yourself when you have one of those?"
"I have an idea, yes. I've seen things that humans do."
Dean smirked. "From the pizza man?"
Dean was teasing him. "Well, yes. And from watching humans." Castiel took a deep breath. "From watching you."
"Wait, from watching me?" Dean sat up straighter, clutching the blankets to his lap. "You've been perving on me, Cas?"
He emphatically shook his head. "You were my charge. It was my responsibility to watch over you at all times. And you do like to take very long showers…"
Dean's lips thinned into a line, and Cas didn't know whether he was angry with him.
"Did you…ever hear me?"
He shook his head. "Usually when I would arrive during your private activities, I'd excuse myself almost immediately."
Dean physically relaxed before straightening again. "Wait, what do you mean, almost immediately?"
Castiel's voice was a whisper. "I found your intensity fascinating. And I was reminded of knitting your body together as I pulled you from Hell, because seeing it in that way, completely bared with your muscles straining, was beautiful."
For once, the hunter was speechless, breathing slightly faster.
Self-conscious when Dead didn't respond, Castiel made the decision to go to the bathroom to distance himself from the source of his arousal. Again, he tried to ease out of the bed, and again Dean stilled him with a hand to his wrist.
"Where are you going?"
The angel motioned to his still-stiff member. "I believe you told me I should…'take care of myself.'"
"Okay."
Castiel again moved to rise, and the hand on his arm tightened. He looked up into the Winchester's green eyes in confusion. "Dean?"
Dean leaned back, his eyes wide. Castiel's brow furrowed, and he was about to inquire further when he noticed the straining bulge pressing against the blanket over Dean's groin. His head tilted to the side, curious.
Dean's voice was soft. "Go ahead."
Suddenly, the reality struck Castiel with a force deep in his belly. Dean was erect. And he wanted Castiel to touch himself in front of him.
"Oh," Cas breathed. Nervous, he met Dean's eyes and found them hungry and approving. The hunter nodded and licked his lips.
Castiel didn't pause to investigate whether this was reality or a very good dream. Without hesitation, he pulled his shirt over his head, and eased his sleep pants down. His erection bobbed out, straining up toward his belly button. Next to him, Dean moaned lowly.
"Touch it," he whispered, easing his own pants down and freeing his cock from its confines. Castiel's mouth went dry when he saw Dean palm his own erection and throw his head back from the sensation.
Carefully, Castiel gripped his length and turned to look at how Dean was manipulating his. He mimicked the up and down strokes, and his mouth dropped open from the sensation, his hips bucking.
"Yeah, that's it," Dean crooned, speeding up his own movements. He took his free hand and rubbed his nipples and down to his scrotum, cupping them gently.
A buzz was building in Castiel's ears as a tightness formed in his belly with every thrust into his tight fist. "Dean," he keened, panicky at the overwhelming feelings. At once, Dean stopped caressing himself and sat up.
"I've got you, Cas. It's okay."
Dean leaned over Cas and eased him back against his pillow. Their noses nearly touching, the hunter gently removed Castiel's hands from himself and replaced them with own. Cas trembled.
"Dean…"
"Shhh," Dean responded, moving his hand up and down slowly, his hooded green eyes never leaving the blue right in front of him. Their breath mingled, their lips a whisper from one another.
Slowly, passionately, Dean Winchester brought Castiel to the very first orgasm of his human life. At the moment Cas felt himself going over the terrifying and satisfying edge, Dean pressed his soft lips against Cas in a kiss. Their joined lips felt like the only anchor keeping the angel on this earth, as his brain blanked and his cock throbbed, shooting warm spurts on his stomach. "Oh, Dean…"
Cas was aware that Dean was gripping himself with his other hand, and with a moan of, "oh, fuck yes, Cas!" he reached his completion, collapsing on top of Castiel. His cock shuddered between their bellies, releasing jets of Dean's seed to mingle with Castiel's.
Cleaning up didn't seem important as they wrapped their limbs around one another, pulling the blankets back up around themselves for warmth. It was effortless for Castiel to nuzzle against Dean's shoulder, inhaling his scent as he always wished he could. He found it remarkable how easily he fit against the hunter's side.
"Cas?"
"Yes, Dean?"
Cas felt a pair of lips against his forehead. "Do you think you'll know what to do the next time your cock gets hard?"
Castiel smiled. "Yes, Dean. I will call you."
