"Well, heresto another year in hell..." Sixteen year old Lily Evans stated as she reached platform nine and three-quarters. Now platform nine and three-quarters may sound weird to you, but for Lily...it was normal. You see, Lily Evans was no ordinary girl, she was a witch. She found out the year after her mother re-married a man named Thomas Sharp. That was when it all started for her. Sharp somehow always knew what Lily would become. He actually used this during the summers and holidays while Lily was home from school. Thomas favorite activity included hitting Lily, raping Lily, or both. Now you would think she would be happy to be away from him during the year; however, he made it impossible for her to talk to anyone, let alone trust anyone she came in contact with. During her third year at her school, she was awoken from a nightmare by the two other girls in her room. They bugged her until she told them. She was glad she did. They instantly became friends, family even. Their names were Hannah Potter and Melissa Carter. Melissa was five foot three with black hair cut in a pixie style and green eyes. She played the drums and helped Lily to learn how to write what she was feeling and put it to music. Lily on the other hand had red hair, straight as a board to her shoulders and emerald green eyes. She was five foot six. Melissa taught her to play the guitar to help with writing the music. Music really helped her a lot and she was grateful for her friends. Hannah was five foot five. She had waist length blonde hair and grey eyes. She was the only on in her family that had grey eyes and she loved it...it was different. She also wrote music with Melissa and Lily and played the bass. She was dating a boy named Sirius Black for the last two years. She had gotten to know him from her cousin, James. Sirius was six foot four with shaggy black hair that went to his shoulders and baby blue eyes. James, Hannah's cousin, on the other hand was six foot two with black untidy hair. He had hazel eyes hidden behind a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. These two boys were the popular guys at school along with their friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Remus had sandy blonde hair and brown eyes. He was six foot three and a lot quieter than the first two. Girls thought his quietness meant he was sensitive, so he used it on a number of occasions as any seventeen year old boy would. Peter was five foot seven with brown hair and brown eyes. He really just followed the others like a little lost puppy, only being popular by association. These four called themselves the Marauders. They loved pulling pranks and used just about anyone for the bait of one of their fiascoes. The day our story begins, Lily is entering her final year of her school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She boarded the train and went in search of her friends. She reached her compartment and found Hannah and Melissa. Hey girls she stated, putting her trunk on the rack above the seat. "Hey Lily, How was your summer?" Melissa asked.
"Oh, you know the usual. Please tell me, you two did something worth while." she replied, sitting next to Melissa. Melissa and Hannah knew what the usual was and hated Lily's step-father. They offered to hex him last school year, but she wouldn't let them.
"Well, Sirius asked me to marry him when the school years over." Hannah said. It took a total of three seconds for the other two to scream, jump, and hug their friend.
"What the bloody hell happened in here?"
The girls turned around to see Sirius Black and Remus Lupin in the doorway. "Told them about us." Hannah stated, kissing her fiance. The girls made room for the two guys and sat. Lily wasn't really paying attention until she heard Melissa ask where James and Peter were.
"I think Prongs is with Lyndie and Peter isn't here yet." Sirius answered the pixie.
"Good, Potter can rot for all I care." Lily stated turning to the group.
"Whats that?" Hannah asked, watching Lily pull something out of her pocket.
"Oh, yeah, I got Head Girl." the red head answered.
"Great..." everyone stated.
"What?"
The group all stayed quiet, not really wanting to answer the red head in front of them. She looked at them before walking to Sirius and sitting on his lap. "Sirius..."
He gulped, "Yes."
"Whats wrong with me being Head Girl?" she asked, giving him her doe eyed look and poking out her bottom lip. She always got answers from him when she did this. Sirius strained, trying to hold off a little longer. She turned his face to look at her and he caved. "James is Head Boy." he whispered.
Lily started shaking and whispered "what..." before fainting. Sirius picked her up as he stood and laid her in his space. Remus pushed him out of the way and whispered, Enervate waking the red head.
Lily opened her eyes and looked at the marauder. "Is he really Head Boy?"
Remus nodded. "Why are you so scared of him, Lil?" he asked, giving her a hug.
"He looks like him." she whispered. Remus let her go, looking into her eyes. "Like who?" She just bit her lip and looked down at her lap. It took him about three minutes to figure out what Lily meant. "James looks like your step-dad." he stated more than questioned. Melissa and Hannah gasped and sat back in the seat. "What does that have to do with anything?" Sirius asked.
"Everything." Lily whispered, turning to leave for the Prefects meeting, with Remus trailing behind. The others sat back in their seats quietly. "Did you know that Remus knew?" Hannah asked Melissa.
"Nope. She never told me. I think its good she told him. He at least got her to confide in a guy. James looking like him, it's weird." Melissa replied.
"I don't get it. What is so bad about that? Why does that make her so scared of him?" Sirius asked.
Hannah kissed his cheek. "Not our secret to tell, sweetie."
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"Hey, you going to be alright?" Remus asked as they were walking to the prefect compartment.
"I have to be don't I. I dont know how I'm going to be able to live with him, be alone with him." she explained to her friend.
"You'll be fine. He wont hurt you, Lil."
Remus took her hand and led her into the compartment. They were the first ones to arrive, so Lily took her seat up front while Remus went to his seat. Slowly, everyone started filing in the Head boy coming in last, trailing behind his girlfriend. Lily studied the girl. She was a Ravenclaw. She had blonde curly hair and green eyes. She was four foot ten and tan. The most popular girl in school and Lily hated her. She always went out of her way to make Lily look like an idiot. Her and her friends always making rumors about her and Melissa being together, together. She made Lily sick. Her name Lyndie Johnston and she had been dating James for a year. Lily thought it was just some kind of set up from the way Hannah talked about herthat and the fact Lily caught her with Amos Diggory last year on the train home. She didn't tell anyone. She didn't know if they would believe her anyway.
"Evans..."
Lily looked to the voice and came face to face with the hazel eyes of James Potter. She just simply nodded. She had never spoken to him. She hated herself for this fear that that man put in her. James of course had no idea why she was that way, and she didn't know if she wanted him to. Apart of her did, and that scared her even more than the fact he looks like him. James simply smiled and turned to the group.
"Hey everyone. I'm the Head Boy for the year and Lily Evans will be your Head Girl. You have the passwords since they were in your letters. After lunch, fifth years with have the first hour of patrol followed by the sixth years and lastly the seventh years. Lily and I will help the first years off the train when we get to Hogsmeade. The first meeting will be in our quarters, Monday. We will have patrol schedules at that time. The Professors had taken to doing patrols our first full week of school. Lily and I will discuss Hogsmeade dates and tell you when they are approved for you to post in your common rooms. That sums it up. Have a good ride and see you Monday night at seven." Everyone nodded and started to head back to their friends. Lily sat, quietly looking over at James and Remus who were talking.
"Jamsie..."
"Yes, Lyndie." James asked, looking at the blonde.
"Are you ready to go?"
"Actually, Evans and I have some things to discuss. I'll see you at dinner." James smiled, giving her a kiss and watching her leave. Remus walked over and sat by the Head Girl.
"Hi, Remus." she said quietly.
"You want me to stay?" he asked.
"You sure he wont hurt me?"
Remus felt bad for his friend. If she could see what he did, she would definitely faint, die even. James and Remus had talked a number of time this summer about the red head next to him. He knew his friend cared more about the girl than he wanted anyone to know and it scared the hell out of him. Remus could see that his friend was infatuated with Lily. He hoped that this year would help both of the people he cared for.
"Remus..."
He looked back at the girl next to him. "He wont hurt you. He'd probably kill the guy if he knew, Lil."
She looked into the brown eyes of her friend. "Then, I'll be fine. I trust you."
Remus wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "Ok."
"Hey, Moony. How was your last week?" James asked, noticing that the wolf was through with the Head Girl.
"It was alright. Try not to take too long. If Wormtail annoys Padfoot, hell hex him." Remus mused. James chuckled as his friend walked out and headed back to their compartment. Lily turned away from the guys and looked out the window watching the trees and hills go by. James watched the girl in front of him and leaned against the door. He didn't know why, but he wanted to get to know her. The real her, not the person she is when Sirius was around her. He knew that was a front. He sensed there was more to her. If he could figure that out, maybe she'd be happy. "Lily..."
She turned to look at the guy in the compartment with her. "Lily?"
James smiled and walked towards her. He gestured to the seat across from her, asking permission. She nodded and he sat. "I just thought that since we're working together this year that we should use our first names. It's alright if I call you Lily, isn't?" She nodded, not really knowing what to say. They sat silently for a minute before James asked. "Why are you scared of me?"
She gulped and looked at him "I can do this." she thought before answering the boy in front of her. "I can't tell you. I know it's not a great answer, but I really can't. Talking right now is a big step for me. Hell, being in here with you is a huge step. I trust Remus. He says you wont hurt me. Its very complicated." she explained. James nodded. "If I told you that I wanted to get to know you. Talk to you alone sometimes so that you may be able to tell me one day. Would you be alright with that?" Lily looked out the window thinking about what he was asking. He wanted to get to know her. A part of her really wanted this. Being able to talk to the one person that reminded her so much of the man she lived with would be like getting a piece of her back. She looked at the guy waiting patiently for an answer. She smiled. "Yeah, I would be alright with that. It would do a lot for me to be able to talk to you. Hannah adores you and shes dating your best mate. It would make a lot of things easier if I could actually be comfortable around you. Can I ask you something?" He nodded urging her to continue.
"I'm assuming you talked to Remus and he didn't say anything to you. (he nodded) Well, please try not to bug him. He's really sweet and I don't know what I would do without him. Also, please try not to bring Lyndie to the room ofter. I don't want her to know anything about me. I know you two are probably intimate; however, I have bad dreams. I constantly wake up Hannah and Melissa."
"Alright, I could live with that. Anything else?" he asked, just happy that she was trying to be ok. He could tell she was shaking from head to toe, so he kept his distant. She nodded. "Yeah. During patrols, please don't let me go by myself. I don't trust a lot of people."
"Um...Moony said you know about us." he stated. She nodded and he continued, "Well, full moons may be tricky." She smiled and looked at his face. "Not since were doing the scheduling. We could have the sixth or seventh year prefects do the last shift and we take an earlier one."
"You've thought this through." he stated, amazed at the thought she put into the situation with Remus.
"Wel, lI was trying to figure out who the Head Boy was and kinda hoping it was Remus, so I had already figured it out at home." she explained. James looked at her and asked. "Can you tell me if it's my looks or my personality that scares you. I wanna try to help ease living together for you."
She smiled. "It's your looks. Don't worry about. Your personality is fine."
James smirked. "Ok. We'd better go before Padfoot kills Wormtail."
Lily laughedand covered her mouth. James out of instinct grabbed her wrist to pull it away from her face. Lily flinchedcausing him to pull away quickly. "Sorry. You can laugh. It's a pretty sound." he whispered. Lily nodded and followed the Marauder to the compartment their friends were in. Lily fell asleep for the rest of the tide. As she woke up, she noticed and arm around her. When she looked at who the arm belonged to, she found James next to her. Needless to say she screamed, causing her to fall with James on top of her. The others woke up due to the fall of the friends. Remus rushed down to help Lily up. She started hyperventilating as he sat her in the seat. "Lily...Lil, Its me, Remus. That's James...James, see." he quietly stated, taking her face in his hands. Lily looked at everyone and started crying harder. She looked back at the boy in front of her. "I'm never going to get better, am I?" Remus heart broke at the sight of his friend in front of him. He wiped her cheeks and stated. "Lily, you are going to find the right person to make you feel loved. Hes going to show you how beautiful and special you are. Don't let the ass have control. You have to want to get better. I believe you will."
She smiled and gave him a hug, whispering, "What if he looks like him?" Remus fell back, shocked at her question. Lily smiled at the boy. She knew she threw him off by the question, so waited patiently for an answer. When she realized she wasn't going to get one, she asked it differently. "What if that person is the one that is like him in ways no one in this room really knows? What if how he looks at me sometimes makes me so fucking scared that I run away? What if I can never tell him anything that hell need to know and he gives up? What if he gives up on me?" I wouldn't be able to deal with that.
The wolf looked at the broken girl in front of him. He knew how to answer that. Talking to the person in question over the summer gave him the answer. James was in too deep. He had asked Remus how bad she was and Remus didn't lie. He told James to figure out what he really wanted first before considering Lily. He also told him she was extremely delicate and it would be a long journey emotionally. Looking at the girl, he now knew that the pieces in his head that have had him up for the last week just fit together. Lily was in love with the guy that looked like the man that was literally ripping her apart. He looked at everyone else, trying not to look to long at James. If he had a say, he'd bet his life that James was already in love with the red head, he just didn'tknow it. His gaze stopped at Melissa, who nodded, telling him that she thought the same he did and be careful wording it. He sighed and looked back to Lily. "When you get to know him, you wont be able to run, Lil. He wont scare you anymore. After time, you will be able to tell him, either that or he'll figure most of it out. He wont give up on you. He wont be able to."
"Really, you think so?" she asked, calming down from the incident.
Remus got back up and hugged her. Pulling back, he smiled. "More than you will ever be able to guess."
"Thank you."
"Come on, Lily. We have to help the first years."
Lily turned to look at the boy by the door. She could tell that he was sorry for whatever he did. This made her think that he had no idea how they ended up as she slept. That made her feel better. She nodded. "Alright, lets go."
Well....I hope you liked the first chapter. I forgot to put in the disclaimer, so just so everyone knows, I don't own Harry Potter or any other characters you recognize from JK Rowling
