Arc 1 - The Rise of Dr. Mario

one day in the SMASH mansion... mereo and senic are fighting once again and EVERONE was watching the big batel. mareo kicked sonci nt he crotch but it didnt work since sonic had just gotten nutured before the fight. his crotch was still nulled out from the numb they gave it during the operation. so then sonic, using his stupid speed and shit stole mario's idea but did it faster and FIFTY TIMES IN ONE SECOND. "THATS AGAINST THE RULES!" peach, the referee shouted. "BISCH HE JUST TRIED DOING THE SAME THING TO ME" sanic screamed. "yeah but he didnt manage to do it so it doesnt count!" peach said. mario was grasping his wriggler in pain. "soni cis banned from the smash offs for continious breaking of the rules. fuck off sonic" peach said. sonic grumled and ran out while acting all whiny. luigi ran out from the crowd and approached mario. "mario are you okay" but then... mario passed out. "we need to summon DR. MARIO QUICK" peach yelled.

okay so everyone except sonic in smash mansion had put mario in a pentagon circle and put medicine like weed and cocaine around the circle too. every smasher started giving a demonic chant.
"ENOLC EELEM! ENOLC EELEM! ENOLC EELEM!"
then a giant red light exploded from mario and suddenly dr. mario appeared. "i am a shadow, the true self..." dr. mario said. mario opened his eyes. "NO! why did you summon him? he was banned to the shadow-smash realm for a reason!" and then dr. mario stomped on mario's face and shut him up. "did somebody order a doctor? because our appointment begins now. RIGHT NOW!" and then dr. mario threw his medicines into the air and they formed together to open a portal to hell and suddenly people showed up... pichu, roy, young link, mewtwo showed up. "oh no! those are the people we banished!" link said jk link doesn't talk haha i got ya. "those are the people we banished, oh no!" peach said.
"wait... mario you BANNED dr. mario?" zelda asked. zelda can actually talk. "no, i banned DIET dr. mario. haha" mario joked. "but actually yeah bc he was insane and tried impersonating me!" mario said. "but i-a just saw him yesterday!" luigi said. "THAT WAS ME LUIGI I WAS PRETENDING TO BE DR. MARIO OCCASIONALLY AFTER BANNING HIM SO NOBODY WOULD GET SUSPICIOUS!" mario shouted. "yes, and now i am free. now i will give vaccines to children everywhere!" dr. mario said. "that doesn't sound evil..." luigi mumbled. "NO! GIVING CHILDREN VACCINES IS HORRIBLE! I WOULD NEVER VACATE MY CHILDREN" mario shouted. peach was taken aback. "wtf then where did you take baby mario wait did we really name our kid baby mario wtf anyway where did you take b-mario that one day when he was supposed to get that vaccine?" she asked. "...i took him out to the ball game instead" mario said. then peach was disgusted by mario. "mario you have to be responsible and vaccinate your children and not be trash who lets other children catch viruses because you didn't get a vaccine for your child JFC." so then mario was like "ok lesson learned" and stopped being shitty. then peach said "ok dr. mario go ahead and give mario his shots he understands the lesson now" and then dr. mario gave mario a shot. and then he took out a gun to give him another kind of shit i mean shot. "as a doctor AND serial killer, i must make sure my patients are up to full health before i murder them," dr. mario explaineded. "OH-A-NO! HE REALLY IS EVIL!" luigi shatted i mean shouted wow im having a shitty day. "you didnt let me finish explaining luigiles... i wa sgonna say he is also a killer and evil but no apparently i have to be educated first and now im about to die" and just then all of a sudden there was a blue blur and dr. mario got kicked in the crotch 50 times in HALF A SECOND and his gun was pulled away and he got shot in the crotch five times in THREE SECONDS. "I finally got you mari-oh wrong one. oh well this is good enough," sonic said. "WTF you thought he was me?" mario screamed. then sonic ran away to run away from his awkward mistake. "ahem" dr. mario said. he was completely ok with no marks or blood. "as a doctor i am already done healing myself. now i believe we were here... i am going to make POISON vaccines and i will use my MARIO image to make everyone feel safe with getting a shot. AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME, DR. MARIO, NOT EVEN MARIO!"

then dr. mario used his medicine to dissipate and reform outside of the mansion. back inside, pichu started spamming electricity. everyone standing on rugs went through pain and pain and pain until pichu died. pichu just goddamn died from self-damage. then roy and young link were like, "we're not back to smesh. we're here to take lives!" the said in edgy, ridig, sharp prepubescent voices. "sooooooo~" roy said. then roy stood up and yelled at roy, "i'm the new boy! get out of here you anime character!" roy shouted. roy was deeply offended by what roy had said. "marth, buddy. show some representation for me! give me a good word for these dudes," roy pleaded. marth just shrugged then flipped his sparkly anime hair. captain falcon then grunted in disgust. "ew, it's too anime in here" and then female robin screamed "YOU SURE ARE TALKING A LOT OF SHIT FOR SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY WAS IN AN ANIME!" and captain falcon fell to the ground on his knees. "THOSE WERE THE SINS OF THE PAST! lord sakurai himself cleansed me of my errors! in fact, he used the corruption of anime he removed from me to make many smash charcters because he didn't know where else to put it all!" captain falcon shouted. every fire emblem char, kid icarus char, and shulk char were flabbergasted. i could bring up kirby right back at ya but that's actually a GOOD SHOW. also i could bring up sonic x but i'd rather we just X that out of existence instead. anywow, meeeeerio wait oops roy (not the boy) took his boyfriend young link's hand. "we're out of here! you can't find us either. YOU DON'T KNOW US! YOU DON'T KNOW OUR LIFE STORY!" and then roy used his anime to blind everyone and they escaped. his anime was so unwholesome it blinded the other anime chars too.

"what... do we do?" luigi asked. then mewtwo pooped up.
*popped

"i think we can make a deal..." metwo said. TO. BE. CONT. INUED.