18th September
Dear Diary,
My best friend Ellie bought you for me. She is an avid reader, and is obsessed with the Diary of Anne Frank. I love Ellie, but her fangirling really does bring out the stubborn, sarcastic bitch in me. People tell me that I am stubborn and sarcastic anyway, but if I cared about their opinion, I might actually bother doing something about my supposed attitude problem.
It is my half-birthday today. Ellie and I have a tradition of celebrating half-birthdays, which is why she bought me a present. My real birthday is the 18th of March, which is right in the middle of the District 4 Spring Festival. Hence the reason why I celebrate my half-birthday: no one cares about your birthday when it is in the middle of a full-blown celebration.
Apparently, diaries are for venting one's inner feelings and recounting one's day. Since my life is incredibly boring, I don't really have any juicy inner feelings that I don't want to tell anyone else, so I shall recount my day. I'm not sure how to do this (even Ellie's mother's brownies could not sway my decision not to read Anne Frank's diary), so bear with me.
8:00: Was rudely woken up by intensely annoying little brother.
8:01: Threw book at intensely annoying little brother and got into trouble (no you idiot, a bruise is not concussion. Why are my family so medically clueless?).
8:30: Got out of bed after much yelling at intensely annoying little brother.
9:00-10:00: Went through the terrifying experience that is breakfast with my family.
10:00: Cunningly snuck away from breakfast table while intensely annoying little brother was distracting parents.
10:05: Arrived at Ellie's house.
10:15: Met Brianna and the Connolly twins (Niamh and Louisa) at the beach.
10:15-1:00: Hung out at beach/celebrated half-birthday with Ellie, Brianna and the twins.
1:00: Bought fish and chips.
1:00-1:30: Ate fish and chips.
1:30-2:00: Present opening ceremony + received diary.
2:00-4:00: Worked my shift at the O'Neill apothecary with Brianna. Her parents own the place, so she has the great pleasure of providing wage-free work.
4:00: Went home.
4:00-6:00: Aunt Sally-Anne and Uncle Liam came over with Mags and Lizzie (adorable little cousins who I wish were my siblings).
6:00: Went back to Ellie's house for sleepover.
6:00-7:00: Dinner! Ellie's mother's cooking is so much better than my mother's; it's not even funny. Still, intensely annoying little brother (I think I might shorten it to IALB) is not there to annoy Ellie's mother while cooking, and trust me, cooking is a lot harder with IALB around.
7:00: Ate some of Ellie's mother's famous brownies. They are so good; she even sells them at the market and gets quite a hefty profit. Her stall is next to Mrs Cresta's bouillabaisse stall. Diary, if you were not an inanimate object, I'd recommend it to you. Speaking of which, why am I writing to an inanimate object? This makes no sense. The chances of someone discovering this diary when I'm gone are pretty slim.
7:23: Now. Writing to an inanimate object. Watching Ellie write to her inanimate object. Wondering how she manages to write so much. Maybe it is because she is more 'in touch with her emotions' (mother's words, not mine) than I am.
I'll give you a little background on this. Ellie and I are very different people. I am a brutally scientific, stubborn person who needs proof for everything and has very little creativity, but lots of curiosity. I want to be a doctor when I leave school. Ellie, however, is terrible at all types of science. She is creative, 'in touch with her emotions', and wants to be an author when she leaves school. Her writing is very good, but she's always off in her imagination planning her stories when she's supposed to be paying attention in class.
Come exam week, she knows nothing. I'll tell you a secret, because that's what diaries are for. I don't study before exam week. I teach all of the crap that we need to know to Ellie, and she exposes the gaps in my knowledge. She doesn't fail the exams, and I get A's (on maths, geography, languages and the sciences. I am hopeless at all arts subjects). It's quite a good arrangement.
I cannot believe I have already written this much to something that will never respond. At least when I write to Anton, my pen pal in 2; he replies. I quite enjoy reading his letters, actually. He's gay, and he says his ultimate mission is to take over Panem with Rainbow Pride. Unfortunately, District 2 is not the most tolerant of districts, so he gets bullied a lot. I have had to stop him from killing himself a couple of times, actually. He's not depressed any more though, because he has accepted the fact that he is gay and he's proud of it. I love having a sassy gay pen pal, I really do.
Ellie is still writing ferociously. What is she writing about? I can understand why Anne Frank would write a lot because, let's face it, she was locked up in an annexe with a bunch of crazy people and a boy she had a crush on. She'd have had to write to keep herself sane. Ellie, however, is supposed to be socialising with her best friend, yours truly.
That's it. I have to get hold of Ellie's diary. I shall write down my epicaltastic master plan here, in my diary, so as not to look suspicious.
KIRRA'S EPICALTASTIC MASTER PLAN #1: GET ELLIE'S DIARY
Step 1: Stay up until Ellie is fully asleep.
Step 2: Totally non-suspiciously sneak over to the other side of the room.
Step 3: Grab the wretched diary.
Step 4: Replace diary with similar looking notebook.
Step 5: Do normal morning stuff with Ellie.
Step 6: Leave Ellie's house.
Step 7: Lock self in room and read diary to figure out what on earth Ellie is writing about.
Now I know Ellie is my best buddy and I should respect her privacy, but this has been going on for quite some time now and it annoys me nearly as much as IALB and that really is saying something. Ellie's mum is telling us to stop writing and brush our teeth. Over and out, diary. I'll let you know how my plan goes tomorrow.
