You're Golden

Disclaimer: Sadly, I own neither Saving Hope nor Daniel Gillies. If I did Joel would be…ALIVE!

Pairing: Alex & Joel

Summary: This takes place four years after the season 3 finale "All The Pretty Horses" with an alternate ending.

Rating: T (but it will be M if there are more chapters). Feedback is welcome.

Alex Reid knelt barefoot on the bathroom floor. The cold tile felt refreshingly cool against her overheated skin. She'd been vomiting on and off for what felt like forever. She tried to be as quiet as possible so she wouldn't wake Joel or Luke. She was only a few months pregnant and wasn't even showing yet. But she knew what morning sickness felt like and this was definitely it. She couldn't hold back the groan that escaped her lips as another wave of nausea washed over her.

A moment later, the bathroom door opened and four-year old Luke stood before her, a sleepy expression, wrinkled pajamas and a head of tousled dark hair.

As terrible as she felt at the moment, she couldn't help but smile at him. Her son could always make her smile. He was made of the best parts of her and Joel.

And he looks just like his father.

"Are you still sick, Mommy?" Luke asked, with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Yeah. I am, buddy." She forced herself to smile, "I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"That's okay." Luke whispered, stepping further into the bathroom, and giving her a hug. "Should I get Daddy?"

Alex shook her head, "No. Daddy was in surgery all day. He's tired. I'm okay. Just go back to bed."

Luke looked at his mother one more time before he closed the bathroom door and disappeared down the hall.

"Daddy, wake up."

Joel blinked into consciousness, instantly reaching toward Alex's side of the bed; his hand brushed only the cold empty sheets instead of the familiar warmth of her body beside him.

"Daddy, wake up." Luke's tiny voice was more insistent this time.

"What's wrong little man?" Joel asked through a yawn. "Did you have a bad dream?"

"No. Mommy's sick."

The words hit him like a punch to the gut.

Of course something was wrong.

It all made sense.

The empty space in the bed next to him.

The note of fear in his son's voice.

Suddenly his father's warning about Gorans not making good fathers echoed over and over in his mind.

I am not my father.

I'm a better man than my father ever was.

Or at least I'm trying to be.

He hadn't been present for Luke's birth because he and Zack had been treating the wounded soldier with the mortar shell stuck in his pelvis.

But he vowed to do better the second time around.

For Alex.

For Luke.

And for his daughter, Charlotte Louise.

They'd decided to name her after Joel's mother and Alex's.

For all of them.

"Okay, Luke. I'm up. Where's Mommy now?" Joel asked, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, and sitting up.

"She's in the bathroom. She's been in there for a really long time. She told me not to get you. But sometimes she says she's okay even when she's not."

Yes she does.

Luke knew his mother almost as well as Joel did.

"I know she does, mate. But you go back to bed now. I'll take care of Mommy."

"You promise?" Luke whispered, looking his father straight in the eye.

Joel squeezed his son's shoulder, stared right back at him and replied, "I promise."

And he meant it.

"Okay. Goodnight Daddy." Luke said, softly before he turned and headed toward his bedroom.

Without bothering to put on a shirt, Joel all but ran toward the bathroom. Before he even got there, he could hear his wife vomiting.

Without a word, he pushed open the door, and knelt on the floor behind her, gently holding back her long dark hair with one hand, pressing his lips against her neck.

"Why do they call it morning sickness when it lasts all day?" She asked, leaning her weight against him, letting him support her.

"You've been sick all day? Why didn't you call me?" As he spoke, he rubbed her back gently.

"Because you were doing a spinal reconstruction today." She answered, trying to catch her breath.

"Charlie could've done it. Probably not as well as I could but still…"

Alex laughed, "Yeah I know. But I thought it would pass. It wasn't like this with Luke."

At this Joel smiled, "No. With Luke, you took your boards while you were in labor. God, I'd have given anything to have seen that, Reid."

"Well, if you hadn't been so busy almost getting blown up you could have. Besides it wasn't that impressive, trust me."

"Yeah, right. That's why none of the residents could shut up about it." Joel said turning his attention from her back to her shoulders.

"Alex, I promise I'll be there this time, okay? I don't want you to worry. I'll be there for you. For this and for everything else."

"I know." Alex whispered but before she could go on, another strong wave of nausea came over her. Joel held her hair again, and whispered, "What did Maggie say?"

After a long moment Alex replied, "Maggie said every pregnancy is different. Like I didn't already know that. And then she offered to come over and make me a smoothie with kale in it. I told her I'd rather have this. But I'm starting to rethink that decision."

Joel almost laughed until Alex started vomiting again, and she looked up at him with desperation in her eyes and repeated, "Oh God, Joel…it wasn't like this with Luke."

"I know, Alex. Just hang in there. You need to stay hydrated. I'm going to get you some water."

He kissed her flushed and sweaty forehead, "Don't go away. I'll be right back."

Joel ran to the kitchen and back in less than two minutes. Alex was still crouched on the floor in front of the toilet.

He sat down on the floor and twisted the top on the water bottle, handing it to her. "Small, slow sips, Reid," he whispered kissing her full on the mouth this time.

She pulled away slowly, "Thank you. But seriously Joel, you should get some sleep. You don't have to sit up with me while I puke."

"Hey, I told you, I'm in this for the long haul. That's what that ring on your fingers means. It's in the vows. In sickness and in health remember?"

Alex took a small sip of water, letting it soothe her parched throat and wet her dry, chapped lips.

Without waiting for her to ask, Joel grabbed a washcloth and held it under the faucet for a few seconds, and then held it against Alex's forehead, then her face, and then the back of her neck, before kissing her once more on the lips.

She leaned back against her husband letting the familiar warmth of his bare skin comfort her.

"God, I feel terrible. I probably look disgusting."

She doesn't even realize how beautiful she is. I'll make her realize it if it takes the rest of my life.

Even sweaty, nauseous, and sick, she still looks beautiful.

Joel would've told her all those things if she hadn't been falling asleep against his shoulder. So instead he just kissed her temple and whispered, "No, Alex you're golden."