He could hear that song in his head the one that had been playing when Christian had said he loved him. Before everything had gone wrong. He looked up and the pretty Christmas lights were all around them and the sights and sounds of the market stalls trading their Christmas wares. As Christian said it to him a tube train had come along and the lights had reflected onto Syed. He remembered how he had said it back and Christian had looked so pleased and tearful.

Later than night, Christian's hand trailed down his chest and his lips were strong and urgent on his. Syed felt himself giving in to the pleasure of the kiss and their tongues were exploring and searching. Christian moved down and was kissing his neck and around the back of his ear where he was really sensitive and then sliding down slowly onto his chest. His hand was still caressing him and moved to just above his belt and teased backwards and forwards around the waist-line. Syed gasped and his head fell back onto the pillow. He reached out and pulled Christian up to him and kissed him deeply. Christian could feel how desperate Syed was for this and decided to stop teasing him and he sat up. He undid Syed's belt and slipped his jeans and boxers off onto the floor. He moved back onto the bed and straddled Syed's legs so he couldn't move. His hand moved down and held him where he most wanted it gently stroking top to tip and when Syed starting moving frantically under him and calling his name, he held him more firmly. Syed's hands were moving down and he was touching Christian through his jeans so he stood up and disrobed and then got back on the bed. Syed took hold of him and they were caressing each other and drowning in each others' eyes at the same time. In the distance there was a shout "Syed" and the image was fading and then "Syed time to get out of bed" and as Syed opened his eyes the images completely disappeared from his mind. He turned over and saw that he was alone in the double bed in his parents' house and Amira was calling him from downstairs. He so wanted to close his eyes and be back in that dream again. He ached for Christian physically and mentally. He had so many dreams about him. Time to face painful reality again and another day of work and dealing with his mum's meaningful looks and pretending everything is fine with Amira. Things with his mum were poor, she was civil to him and no more. The rest of the family seemed to just put it down to her being pregnant but Syed knew she could hardly bear to be in the same room as him anymore. The closeness was gone between them. He felt so alone.