"I think we're talking about different kinds of love, Sakura-chan."
I never told her what i meant by that. She didn't need to know. Sakura-chan was a wonderful, sweet girl, but she didn't love me the way i wanted her to.
And i convinced myself that that was all right. It didn't matter that she loved someone else. As long as i could stay beside her and support her, that was all i needed.
Most of the time, i believed that.
It was harder at night. At night, when i was alone in my bed in that big, big house, it was easier to wish she was there. I wished Li-kun had never come to Japan. If he hadn't come, i would have had a chance to win Sakura-chan's heart.
I didn't wish that Li-kun hadn't been able to return to Tomoeda, or that he proved unfaithful. I could never wish for something that caused Sakura-chan so much heartache.
But if something like that were to happen, i would be there for her. I would comfort her in her time of need, like a true friend.
A true friend. That's all i was to Sakura-chan. That's all i would ever be, now. She would never fall in love with me.
During the longest of those nights, i found myself hating Li-kun.
But that never lasted long. After all, how could i hate someone who made Sakura-chan so happy?
That was why i helped him realize and confess his feelings for her. I loved Sakura-chan, and she loved Li-kun, so what else could i do but help them be together?
Sometimes it does hurt to see Sakura-chan smiling so happily for someone who isn't me. But more than that, she is smiling happily. And that's all that really matters.
Maybe i am alone at night. But so what? As long as Sakura-chan is happy, then i'm happy too. That's my invincible spell.
