Near frowned.

This shouldn't have possible, not by any stretch of logic.

His frown only deepened, creases appearing on his face.

His expression was not mirrored by the... Thing sitting in front of him. Instead, he received a bright and sparkly smile that made him cringe slightly. What was this?

"Hi there! Wow, you look cool! I've never seen a real life human before! You look much prettier than I thought you would! Where are we right now? Is this your house? It's so fun in here!"

She continued to ramble while Near couldn't bring himself to open his mouth. Was he hallucinating?

"Hey, guess what? Guess what, guess what, guess what? I don't even know your name yet, silly! Mine is Pinkie Pie!"

It took him an extra moment to actually realize that her mouth was closed, waiting for him to answer. He licked his lips, mouth feeling dry as he continued to examine what seemed to be a pink pony, around three feet tall with large blue eyes and a puffy mane. "My name... Is Near."

"Near? Ne-ar? Neeeaaar~! Nyar!" She giggled and snorted. "That's such a fun name! I like it! I like it a lot! You're gonna be so much fun to hang out with! You know, you're wearing all white. You need some color! I love color! Rainbows are beautiful!" She paused (for what seemed like half of the normal amount of time someone usually would), beaming into space, before putting her hooves(?) behind her back, only to pull them back out and spring an obnoxious amount of streamers and confetti into the air.

That shouldn't have been possible...

...Then again, she was a talking pink pony that somehow had invaded his bedroom – and she didn't even seem to resemble a normal pony in the slightest. It was as though she was a cartoon that had been brought to life.

She giggled and continued to speak, hopping around his room and exploring every nook and cranny. His eyes only followed her, still taking in the situation until it finally set in and smacked him in the face.

No, wait – that was a balloon. Where did it even come from?

Near stood up, eyes widening. He took a step back. "You're a pony."

She paused in her rambling, looking over at him with a smile still plastered on her face.

Near sat back down, this time against the wall. "A... Pink, talking pony."

"Well, duh! Of course I know that, silly. And you're a human! A white, talking human." She giggled, bouncing towards him.

"This is impossible. You shouldn't be alive, or if you should be you shouldn't be in this universe. That can't be possible... Not at all." He looked up at her, and she waited for him to continue, interest written all over her face. "Essentially, you would have had to somehow find a worm hole, and get to my universe before it collapses... Which I don't think is possible."

"But it's an alternate universe, Nearie-Sheerie! Even if it's not possible in your universe, it could still be possible in mine." She smiled at him. "Besides, I don't think that's how I got here."

"Then?" Near asked, ignoring her additions to his name.

She shrugged. "I dunno! Probably just the magic of friendship~!" She giggled.

He felt his eye twitch.

"Oh! I wonder if my friendies are here somewhere! That would be so super duper coolie-uper!" She squealed, clopping her hooves together with each the last three and a half words.

"Friends...?" Near murmured. There were more? How many?!

"Yesseree-bob, Captain Near-face!" She grinned.

Near-face?!

"Lemme check!" Pinkie stated, still cheerful as ever as she seemed to bend over, and-?

Near gasped in shock, taking a step back as the hyper pony pushed her hooves into his floor and literally pried it apart, opening a hole in the process – the hole spewed yellow, blue, but mostly pink fog, though the inside appeared to be pitch black. She stuck her head in, as though she was taking a peek, and Near watched in horrified amusement as she looked back and forth from within the hole. She seemed to nod in understanding, before sitting back up and removed her hooves from the abyss. His floor closed up again, looking the exact same way as it had before she tore it apart.

Near was not only stunned, but very very interested in this pony. Could she defy all logic?

"Welp! They sure are here, dearest Nearest." She giggled and pulled a hoof-full of confetti out from behind her back, throwing it into the air.

"Pinkie Pie," Near began, feeling odd just for saying such a strange name. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?" She asked innocently, looking at him with sparkling eyes as she tilted her head.

How could one explain such a preposterous thing? "How did you open up a - portal...?"

"Oh, ya mean this thingy?" She asked, once more opening up his floor. She stuck her head in, though Near wasn't quite sure what this time she could have been looking for... "Near-i! Look up here!"

He did so, and was nearly startled as he looked up to see Pinkie's head staring down at him from the ceiling, another portal identical to the one in his floor. She grinned at him, turning her head slightly as her eyes shimmered in delight. Near stared back with shock equal to his from before, though now there was a bit more amusement. Perhaps this wouldn't be so very terrible...

A/N: Ahaha, just a random oneshot I'll probably never complete featuring my two favorite characters. This was written awhile ago!