I look in the mirror and what do I see? Of course I see what everybody tells me I am; young and beautiful. I hold the power to win over any man's heart. My deep blue eyes an endless ocean in which many sailors have been lost. Beneath the surface I am but the opposite of this. I have no power over men and my beauty has gained me nothing but heart ache. I was born in a body which I cannot control; a body which cries out for affection, something I cannot give it. I only need to watch myself in the mirror for a few seconds before I see the truth. My hair begins to turn a shade of grey and my blue eyes stained black. The once clear and smooth skin crumbles away like leafs fall from an autumn tree. My skin begins to whiter away and all I can see is a glimpse into my future. Am I destined to become this old hideous thing I see? It terrifies me knowing that I will be there all alone, decaying into the pages of yesterday. Will I be remembered for my beauty or simply as the spinster I see in the mirror?

Father sent me away when I was sixteen. My family and the Walker family decided that they would court myself and their eldest son. At first I hated him. He wouldn't look at me and before he and I were formally engaged he told me of his plans to run away. Our two families however thought this would be a brilliant venture that would promise years of prosperity and wealth. I saw it as a life sentence. My life was laid out for me and I had no power over my own destiny. I was to be married and expected to bare the children of a man who couldn't look me in the eye. I would grow old alone in the large house while our children left and he would most likely obsess over the family business and die a working man who had no time for his lonely wife. A widow was what I was destined for, a life where death grew more appealing.

It was on the eve of our wedding where I realised where my heart was. Standing there deep in the forest in the dead of night I could feel the wind gently flowing through my hair. A gentle breeze that left the tree tops roaring, a gentle breeze that left my heart screaming. The forest opened up into a clearing and it was there I knew I would walk no further. Desperation and fear of a life I couldn't lead led me here. As my heart raced and my feet took me, my mind looked back and my eyes forward. In my hands I held my key to freedom, a sharp, pointed knife, my only way out. I felt numb. I had no more fear in me but I had no hope left either. I wanted out and as I gazed up at the stars I felt the coldness of my life slip away, the knife pushed itself into my stomach and I felt at peace. The pain was only short and as I could feel my warm blood escaping my heart for the final time, I fell to my knees. The earth cradled me, it watched over me as a mother would a child. It was only then that I believed the myths of the white light; I didn't need to walk to it for it seemed to come to me. Although my vision began to fail me I saw the light. It hurt me more than the sensation of dying out here in the wilderness. He carried the light, my fiancé, the man who I would rather die than spend a future with. The man who I thought couldn't love me. Holding me in his arms he rocked back and forth, I couldn't hear what he was saying; it was all muffled to my ears. I fought hard to keep my eyes open long enough to see the pain on his face. He was heartbroken. Had he truly loved me? Was I just blind to this and let my mind go crazy with false feelings of loneliness? My world was dark but his tender kiss upon my lips was just enough to allow me to open my eyes and meet his that gazed back. A single tear fell from his deep brown eyes onto my cheek. My heart ached as for the first time ever as I felt his love, if only it happened sooner. My eyes closed for the final time and into the abyss I fell.

That was not my end. I had been given a second chance and I awoke in our bed, with my fiancé Geoffrey Walker by my side. My heart felt a sensation which I had never felt before. Looking at him there beside me I felt love. I also felt hope again. Hope that my life would be a happy one and our love would endure as we both died happy together, old and in love. Oh how wrong I was. We married later that year in 1803. I hadn't felt normal since my suicide attempt. The doctor said that was to be expected but this felt like something that medicine couldn't explain. I felt cold when I wasn't around Geoffrey. It was though when we were apart I was dying. My body would go numb, I couldn't feel pain. If I cut myself I couldn't draw blood. Food would taste like ash and wine would turn to blood in my mouth. Something was wrong with me but only in Geoffrey's absence. Around him I would be normal again. My body bled, food tasted good and wine would remain wine. I felt love and joy once more. I didn't tell this to anybody. I knew they would label me insane and I would be separated from my beloved for the rest of my life. For two years I kept it inside. Geoffrey would go away on business trips to the city and I grew more accustomed to a life of death. In an attempt to understand my condition I looked into the forbidden art of witchcraft. I knew that night in the forest some evil saved me from death; the same evil that haunted me every day. The deeper I delved into witchcraft the more it fascinated me. I learnt ways to make Geoffrey more successful so he could spend less time away. I even learnt how to remain beautiful for ever. The further down this path I journeyed the more that evil became good. I could control the curse that bestowed upon me when Geoffrey was absent. Obsession took the better of me however and I began to neglect my duties as a wife as I grew into a powerful sorceress.

The power of foresight was my greatest tool and my most feared enemy. I was able to predict and direct us onto a path of success and happiness. I could see obstacles well before they came and divert our path around them. There was one however I could not avoid. I saw my Geoffrey in love with another woman. She was as beautiful as I; her eyes as blue and her hair as brown. I could see that Geoffrey was drawn to her because she reminded him of me and that destroyed me. I went crazy as I spent days watching their future; watching the roots of their love grow deeper than our own. I would spend days alone finding ways to change this future. Everything I tried failed and it was as though I lost my power to save our love. He grew distant from me. He barely looked at me in the same way anymore. I sensed no passion in his touch and no love in his gaze. He told me that I was the reason for this, that I wouldn't spend time with him when he was at home and that when we made love I would seem as though I want him. I confronted him with my discovery that he would find love elsewhere and he laughed in my face. He said that I was a fool to trust the dark arts. I tried to save our love but only failed. I once again stood at a point in my life where hopelessness and fear grew too powerful to live with. The only way I could stop our love dying was to prevent him from loving anybody else ever again.

I created a curse that would consume me and his ability to love ever again. It was because I loved him I was left with no choice. Into this curse I poured my beauty, my heart and my life. He would be destined to spend eternity wandering this earth alone. He would not grow old and would forever he would be immortal. Food and drink served no purpose and his heart no longer would never again beat. If he ever touches another soul they would die a painful death soon after, something he would become very familiar with. I took my life with the same knife I used before at the point where our love began. My blood acted as a seal to the curse, one that could only be lifted with my blood, something he would never see again. As my life faded for the last time, his long and miserable life began.