It was just another day for Roy Mustang, who was doing paperwork like usual. A few feet away, Winry Rockbell stood watching him. What am I doing here? she wondered wistfully, glancing around at the mannequins dressed in military uniforms that filled the room. "No, like, seriously, what am I doing here?" Winry repeated out loud. "I literally have no idea why I'm standing in your office. It feels like the beginning of a really bad fanfiction."

Mustang looked up and said, quite unhelpfully and for no apparent reason, "Mori likes seashells.

That was the last straw. Winry couldn't take it anymore. All the rage that had been building up inside her for the last three seconds spilled out as she reared back and punched a mannequin. Its head burst into flames – no one was really sure why – and it toppled over, miraculously not igniting any other part of itself, another mannequin, or the wooden floor as it went down.

"Destruction of military property!" Mustang roared suddenly, standing up and advancing towards Winry, who backed up nervously. "I've been waiting for you to do that," he growled menacingly as he backed the blond mechanic into a wall. Winry winced, sure he was about to hit her. But then, with no warning, he did the exact opposite…if the exact opposite of hitting someone is kissing them.

Before Winry had any time to react, the door burst open and a man with long silver hair in a ponytail ran in. The interrupted kissers both stared at him for a moment before the flamboyant man began twirling around gleefully, little stars floating around his head.

"What the…?" Winry exclaimed.

"That," Mustang sighed, sweatdropping, "is…my ex-boyfriend, Eucardio."

"Your WHAT?"

"I'll never call Fullmetal short again if you promise never to speak of this to anyone."

"…deal."

A/N: I went to bed last night trying to think of an idea for a non-Host Club related fanfic. My brain trolled me with this dream. I swear, like, 99% of this really happened, and it really looked like anime. I just added the dialogue, the only thing anyone actually said in my dream was Mustang's "Destruction of military property, I've been waiting for you to do that" lines. I woke up in hysterics, so I thought I might as well write it down before I forgot, even though it was probably only funny because I was still half-asleep.