A Woman's Job

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Star Wars, not even an Episode II ticket stub yet... how sad.

Author's Note: A sweet interlude between Padme and Obi-Wan. Sorry to all you Anakin/Padme fans out there. Please forgive me.

* * *

~A Jedi shall not know anger. Nor hatred. Nor love.~

"Goodnight, Master." With an almost paternal smile, Obi-Wan glanced down at his apprentice. The boy lay in bed, the covers resting lightly over his chest, looking several years younger than his actual age. It was hard to believe that he was no longer the little mop-headed kid they had picked up on Tatooine all those years ago.

The thought brought back painful memories of his slain Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. They were memories that Obi-Wan thought he had finally mastered. He closed his eyes and let the emotions wash over him like a flood, leaving him more than a little drained after they had passed.

Obi-Wan shook his head. It had been a long day. "Master?" the boy's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Yes, Anakin?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, Padawan."

There was a pause. "You're thinking about Qui-Gon, aren't you?"

The wave of emotions was back. Damn the boy and his damn skills at mind reading. "Yes, I was. But I would appreciate it greatly if you would not pry into my thoughts at your every whim, Padawan." The tone in his voice told the boy he had gone too far.

Chastised, Anakin fell silent before apologizing. "I'm sorry, Master. I didn't mean to..."

"I know." Obi-Wan reached down and gently squeezed the boy's arm. "Goodnight, Padawan. Go to sleep."

* * *

Much as he tried, sleep would not come to the young Jedi Master that night, though his Padawan slept quite peacefully. Lately, the boy had been complaining of nightmares of an imposing half-man, half-machine who sported a deadly red lightsaber. Obi-Wan didn't stake much on dreams, so he told the boy that the only way to learn from them was to wait and study. The answer or meaning would come in its own time.

Finally, after hours of restless tossing and turning, Obi-Wan threw on his robe and exited their room for a late night walk. Soon he found himself in the Healing Gardens, alone. After tiring of pacing back and forth across the gardens, he found a seat by the quiet pond in the center of the room. Beneath the clear waters, exotic and brightly colored fish swam on tirelessly. The sight was quite soothing, actually, which was just what he needed.

He didn't know why, but this day had seemed to drag on for eternity. There had been a Council meeting to discuss Anakin's training, a rigorous lightsaber spar with Anakin, and then the unexpected visit of Padme Amidala, Naboo Senator.

But the most draining of all had been the constant reminders of his former Master. Qui-Gon had been brought up in the Council meeting. Everyone knew the only reason Obi-Wan had agreed to train Anakin was because it had been Qui-Gon's dying wish. Seeing Amidala again certainly hadn't helped things. Though he hated to admit it, Obi-Wan secretly blamed the woman for losing his Master. If it hadn't been for her, Qui-Gon would still be here. They would still be sparring together, instead of Obi-Wan and Anakin.

Lost in the past, his fist clenched as he remembered that fateful moment as the burning red lightsaber had taken away his Master. Realizing his thoughts, he shook his head as the words Yoda and Qui-Gon both had pounded into him over and over. "A Jedi shall not know anger. Nor hatred." He could not allow himself to hate the Sith for murdering Qui-Gon. He could not lose himself in blind revenge. He almost had once, when fighting the mysterious Sith warrior. He did not want to go down that path again.

So deep in thought was he that he didn't hear as another joined him in the Gardens. Her soft footsteps failed to gain his attention until a soft hand was laid upon his shoulder. Caught off-guard, he leapt to his feet, whirling to see who had disturbed his reverie.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw only Padme, dressed in an elaborate dressing gown, standing with an amused look on her pale face. "Oh, it's you."

The smile became more visible. "Don't sound overly excited."

He returned the smile. "Forgive me. It's been a long day."

"I'm sorry for that. Is there anything I can do?"

He shook his head, settling back down on the grass by the pond. "Not unless you can change the past."

Surprisingly, she sat down next to him, placing her thin smooth hand over his callused one. "We cannot change the past, Obi-Wan, only the future." After a pause, she added, "You cannot bring him back to life."

He glanced at her, surprised by her intuitiveness. Sure, Anakin had the Force, but Padme had nothing, only her femininity. Of course, that too could be a powerful thing. He sighed. "I didn't know my feelings were so obvious today. I must get better at hiding them."

"Don't," she whispered. "Don't bottle up feelings, Obi-Wan. That can only lead to more pain." She gazed deep into his eyes, seemingly searching his very soul. "I know it hurts. It hurt all of us, most especially you. You've kept that hurt inside for too long."

He looked downward, not wanting her to see his pain. "I have to be strong, for Anakin."

Her fingers wrapped around his more tightly. "Even the strong cry, Obi-Wan. What kind of a person will he be if he doesn't know how to cry?"

"What kind of person will I be if I do?" He met her penetrating gaze. "A Jedi knows no emotion."

She frowned at the words. "You are only human, Obi-Wan. You aren't perfect."

"Why can't I be?" he snapped back.

Silly boy, she thought. He is still the same as he was after the death of Qui-Gon- hurt, afraid, and alone. The Jedi Code had offered no comfort to the mourning apprentice, and it still didn't. It never would. Jedi were not ones to offer comfort. That was a woman's job.

* * *

She still remembered how she had found him in that awful room, clinging to the limp body of Qui-Gon, rocking back and forth and whispering incoherently into his Master's unhearing ear. The sight had broken her heart.

She had gone to him, gently touched his shoulder, and had been shocked by the mask of pain that had turned to stare unseeingly at her. Finally, he recognized her and collapsed with boyish anguish into her outstretched arms. She had held him close until help had come.

* * *

Now, years later, she found herself in much the same situation. Obi-Wan was still clinging to the memory of a man long gone, a man who had been the closest thing to a father he had ever known. The grief was still there, veiled though it was by a haze of stoic Jedi responsibility. She could still see the sorrow in his blue-green eyes.

Why couldn't he be perfect, he asked. "Because you're human, Obi-Wan. If you were not, you would have no mind." She reached up and placed her hand against the side of his face. "You would have no soul." Her hand trailed down to his chest, and she pressed her fingers against the muscles, against his ribcage. "And you would have no heart." She felt the pace of his heartbeat quicken, ever so slightly.

A Jedi shall not know anger. Nor hatred... nor love. The phrase once again began to repeat itself over and over. But with her flowery scent making him irrational, the words soon became nothing but mumblings in the night. He swallowed. Why had he never noticed her beauty before? Always she had just been a child queen, naïve and weak. He had not seen her wisdom, her power, her wit.

But that was not entirely true. He had seen it once before, when she had held him close after Qui-Gon's death. But amidst the confusion of that time, he had forgotten. Now, everything seemed clearer than it ever had before.

He reached out a trembling hand to caress her smooth cheek. Their touch was like fire, burning them both. Padme trembled, slowly moving closer to the Jedi. What they were doing was forbidden, but that fact didn't seem to matter now. He needed her.

Their foreheads pressed together as they searched each other's eyes. His fevered breath brushed against her skin, inflaming her even more. "Obi-Wan," she breathed. "Do you want this?"

"Gods, yes," he whispered, voicing the thoughts that had been deemed taboo by the Council. "Please..."

Their lips met in an awkward, hesitant kiss. His beard tickled her skin where the two met as the kiss grew more intense, more passionate. His hands fumbled with the pins in her dark hair, loosing it to wash down in waves over her back and shoulders. He entangled his hands in it, caressing the smooth tresses.

Soon they were lost in each other, far beyond all boundaries of Jedi Code. They held each other through the night in a silent interlude from reality. Both knew their time together wouldn't last beyond that night.

But she had comforted him and helped him get past his grief. And that was a woman's job, if only for tonight.

END