Author's Note- This was originally going to be a songfic of sorts, but it turned into a one shot that was inspired by a song.
Dedication- For my friend, Christina, who loves Popular and giggles at Perver.
Disclaimer- Oliver Wood, Marcus Flint, Percy, Charlie, and Bill Weasley do not belong to me. They are the property of the WB, and the creative offspring of J.K. Rowling. I also do not own the song "Popular" for which this fic gets its inspiration.
Oliver Wood could not help but stare at Percy Weasley as he sniffled violently on his bed. Oliver had stumbled across his fellow Gryffindor being tormented by the trollish Marcus Flint in an abandoned corridor. The second year had run off when confronted by the first year, and Oliver had helped his roommate back to their dormitory.
Oliver had noticed that his red headed peer had not been making the smoothest social transition into Hogwarts. Fellow first years had labeled him as a pompous, know-it-all, suck-up and had given him the nickname 'Perfect Percy'. Percy was unable to get comfort from his brothers since they had both been busy with Quidditch and prefect duties respectively. This antagonizing from the idiotic Slytherin had probably been the straw to break the Gryffindo'rs back.
The two boys had formed a friendship on the train ride over, and it had endured with the two of them being sorted into the same house. Though Oliver and Percy occasionally butted heads on their opposing viewpoints of school life, they generally got along. Percy had helped Oliver out several scrapes involving last minute essays and charm work, and now Oliver felt that the favor should be returned.
"You know, Percy, since we're friends, I've decided to help you out with your social problems."
The Weasley boy calmed his sniffling considerably, adjusted his horn rimmed glasses, and re-examined the boy that stood before him. "I don't think that's entirely necessary, Oliver."
Oliver smiled in response. "I know. That's what makes me such a great pal." He slapped the ginger on the back, who choked a little, and sat down beside him on the bed. "You see, Perce, whenever I see someone in need, I take it upon myself to help in any way that I can. In fact, I'm determined to help you succeed in this aspect!"
Percy opened his mouth to object, but Oliver cut him off. "And I won't take 'no' for an answer. I'll teach you all sorts of things like wearing your robe to attract the girls, how to actually talk to other people without boring them to death, and even how to be great at Quidditch!"
Percy's critical glare caused Oliver to reform his last statement. "Okay, maybe I'll get you to be decent at the sport." The persistent, unbelieving stare made him say, "I can at least teach you how to stay on a broomstick!"
The bespectacled boy finally shrugged off his enthusiastic roommate. "While I appreciate your...offer, I really must turn you down. I'd rather focus on my studies than my social life."
The brown haired boy grabbed a book on the bedside table as he felt he was losing his audience. He started flipping through the pages of Prefects Who Gained Power and stopped at random pages. "Do you really think that Jareth Cutestory or Aggatha Ofdenesen climbed up their ladders of success with sheer brainpower?" The red head's inquisitive look prompted Oliver to continue. "No! They got to where they are by oozing charm and reaching out to other people who later became valuable connections in life."
The red headed boy carefully evaluated Oliver before sighing in defeat. "Fine. You win."
Oliver jumped up in joy. "That's the spirit! And who knows, maybe you can work up the courage to talk to that pretty Ravenclaw you bumped into the other day. What was her name again? Audrey something or other."
Percy blushed a furious shade of red that clashed with his hair. He plucked the book from Oliver's hands and hastily arose from the bed. "I think I had better be on my way."
Oliver just continued to smile as he watched Percy gather his things. "I have a feeling that you'll enjoy it. But just remember that no matter what, you won't be as popular as me."
