Chapter One

So Which One of Us Is It?

What a completely uneventful day. Tired and dreadfully bored, Hermione sat at her desk, as usual. But instead of putting her nose to the desk, crunching the numbers, today she was pushing off her work. Work that she typically enjoyed. Just not right at this moment. Typically, working in the Twin's joke shop was anything but dull. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Things were always buzzing around or exploding. And while this was still true, Hermione was in a funk. Last night had been awful. And work was simply not an option, not after that horrible date.

When had her dating life become... Bad? Pathetic? Desperate? Yes, desperate. Hermione had been on a grand total of 5 dates in the past month. And none of them stuck. Most of them were set-ups. With a whole variety of wizarding men, set-up by her wizarding friends. Half-bloods, a squib, even a few purebloods. But last night it had been with a muggle boy. Her parents had been the ones to set it up. Hermione had not been to keen on the idea, since he wouldn't know or even understand about a major part of her life. Yet, she found herself across from Christopher Taylor.

Christopher was a year older than Hermione, but he had just graduated from University. So he was still a bit immature compared to Hermione, who had been a part of the work force, for 4 years already. He had emailed her the day before, and asked where she wanted to meet. She had chosen her favorite Indian restaurant Tayyabs. They met there. And everything seemed okay, at first. He was handsome. And he immediately offered to take her coat for her. But then they were seated and then the horror started. Christopher, apparently was not impressed with Hermione's choice in the restaurant.

"Indian food has never agreed with me. Neither have the Indians."

Hermione cringed as she remember the joke. She found it so difficult to tolerate blatant racism, especially after the treatment she received about her blood status. So she didn't laugh when he made it. Which got a wonderful reaction from Chris.

"That was funny. Why aren't you laughing? It was just a joke."

"I don't happen to find your joke amusing."

Christopher rolled his eyes.

"You know what Chris?"

He quickly interrupted her

"It's Christopher."

"Fine. Christopher. I don't think this is going to work out. I'm sorry to waste your time."

Christopher didn't seem too pleased with that. And when Hermione got up to leave, he said,"This was a pity date anyway. You're not exactly my type. You'll probably end up alone, if you don't learn to get a sense of humor."

Hermione ignored him and continued to leave, apologizing to the hostess as she left.

And now she was sitting at her desk staring at her hands wondering how everything else in her life could be going so well, but she just couldn't get the hang of dating. She had kind of been counting on the twins to cheer her up. They always did after her bad dates. But they weren't anywhere to be seen. Rather unusual. Typically, one of them stayed in the back with her to monitor projects, check inventory, or distract Hermione. But today was especially busy and it required the both of them at the front of the store. So she was stuck in the back all by herself, stuck crunching numbers, and checking inventory, or going over the product testing which she just was not in the mood to do.

The past year had been such a boost, aside from her dating life. If someone had told 6th year Hermione that she would be working with the Weasley Twins in their joke shop, she would have laughed in their face. And yet here she was. Hermione had no idea what she wanted to do with her life after the War. After her 5th year working for the Ministry had always been out of the question. She had planned on becoming a professor at Hogwarts. But the Battle of Hogwarts, made the memories too fresh. She knew she needed time. And she needed more hands on experience before she considered herself good enough to teach.

She knew what she had to do first. She had to go get her parents. And they were furious. But that subsided. Her first instinct had been to give them their space. But they didn't want that. So for months after the Battle, she stayed in her old house and she wrote. She wrote her story just in a journal for herself. She cried and she grieved for Tonks, for Remus, for everyone. Hermione temporarily cut herself off from the Wizarding World. She still had her owl. But other than that it was just her and her parents for a year.

Hermione loved her letters. Her only connection to Harry, to Neville, to Luna, to Ginny, to the rest of the Weasleys. In fact she became incredibly close to the Fred and George through the letters. Actually, really she became closest to Fred. Originally, she addressed one letter to both of them and they would take turns responding. But then more and more often she would get letters from Fred. She took a year to travel with Harry and Ron. Even then most of the letters she got were from the Twins. And when she told them at the end of the trip she didn't know what she wanted to do with her career, they immediately offered her a job. Verity had to leave for the South of France to work on a family business. So the twins needed someone to help out. Hermione barely thought about it, before she said yes.

Hermione was so grateful to the twins. She had been working for them for a year now and she loved it. Just not today. Today was a day for distracting herself from work and her love life. Today was a day for doodling. Her quill gliding lazily across a spare bit of parchment. She doodle quite a bit. It was a way for her to clear her mind. Sometimes she would draw flowers or sometimes just lines. But today she was just writing her name in different ways. Cursive, block letters, bubble letters, Hermione Jean Granger, Hermione J. Granger, Hermione Jean, H.J. Granger, Hermione, Hermione Potter (Weird. she scribbled that one out), Hermione Malfoy (that one was completely wrong. Definitely not a match. Scratched out.) Hermione Weasley.

"Hmmmm, what do you think Forge?"

"I don't know could be either one of us, Gred"

Hermione jumped. She looked up and saw the twins looking at her. Smiling. Impishly. Where had they come from?

"What are you two on about? And what are you doing here?"

Fred looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Her words hurt me, Forge."

"Shh shhh. It's okay. I know it hurts," comforted George.

"Really guys, aren't you both supposed to be up front?"

"It's lunch time 'Mione! Shops closed for an hour,"replied Fred.

"Oh! I hadn't realized." She had lost track of time. That tended to happen when she was lost in thought, she stopped caring about her surroundings.

"Seems as though you were out in space. Is that the muggle saying?" asked George.

"It is, and I don't know what you are talking about!" she said. Even though she knew that they wouldn't fire her for goofing off, she still felt bad about not working.

"She must be playing dumb. Yeah Fred? I mean, she is the smartest witch of her year."

"Indeed, one so smart really would know what we were talking about. She couldn't possibly be this dense."

"Honestly! Would you two just come out with what you're saying? You are more adept at jokes than riddles."

George laughed. "Awww, but we have you stumped. So we must be good at them."

"Though she does think we are 'adept' at jokes, Forge." said Fred spitting out the word "adept" because it felt weird coming out of his mouth.

"Indeed she does, Gred. I suppose we could help her out."

"Especially if she thinks so highly of our humor."

Fred pointed to her doodles. Specifically to the one spelling out her name matched to the their surname. Hermione's face grew bright red.
The twins just laughed at her response.

"So, Hermione, darling! You can't leave us in the lurch."

"Gred is quite right! We must know your heart!"

Hermione looked at the twins, their eyes full of amusement. "I.. I don't know it was just a doodle. I was about to scratch it out."

"Pish posh, 'Mione," cried Fred, "Doodles reveal your inner desires, you know! Trust me. I have studied the female mind at great length."

"Sooo, which one of us is it?" added George.

Hermione laughed out right. "You do know how big your family is, right?" seeing that they were just teasing, she decided to play along. "I could want to marry any one of your siblings."

The twins grinned at her. "But, you see we figured it out."

"It has to be one of us."

Fred got up and sat on the table so he could better elaborate. "You see, it's not Ginny because you don't like girls."

"Or does she?"

"That would change everything. Wouldn't it!"

Hermione put her hand over Georges mouth."No, don't answer that. You're right! As much as I love Ginny, unfortunately for me, I'm only attracted to men. But that's only one person off the list."

"Aha! We're learning so much. Your sexuality is confirmed. Straight as a board."

"Because you know we weren't quite sure on that one," said Fred. Which of course deserved a smack that Hermione gave most willingly.

"But you're right we still have three more don't we."

"Well, get on with it, Gred!"

Hermione looked at George curiously," What can't come up with any good reasons, yourself? Why don't you just tell me? Do you need the 'better twin' to help you out?"

Fred's grin widened, "Better twin? Did you hear that I'm superior to you. I'm the one"

"You are not!" declared Hermione. "Didn't you see the air quotes?"

"Haha victory is mine! I am the twin she loves, Fred!"

"Nonsense I haven't admitted to that in the slightest," said Hermione.

"Ah, ah, ah, Hermione. You said Fred was not the one. That leaves me," said George wagging his finger.

"You still have a list to get through," she responded. " Or as previously asked: Can you not come up with anything?"

George hid behind his hands, "It's not that at all. I just want Fred to speak because I'm shy and afraid of public speaking."

"You are not!" laughed Hermione.

"Fine. Maybe he's not. But I'm better at articulating our thoughts," said Fred.

"When in the hell do you use words like 'articulate'?" laughed George.

"Well, it is the brightest witch of our age, yeah? I need to use my extensive vocabulary," said Fred in a condescending tone.

"Right well, professor get on with our reasons!"

"Right!, where were we? Ah! Yes. Not attracted to the fairer sex," he said pointing to Hermione. "Well, onto Charlie and Bill. You've only ever been around Charlie like twice. So, you can't very well be all goo goo crazy lovey eyes at him, can you? You don't have a clue who he is. Unless you like him for his body?"

"Ugh Hermione! Why do you have to love men for their physical appearance alone!"

"We, men are more than just your eye candy!"

"We have feelings and emotions!"

"You can't treat us with this level of disrespect!"

Hermione rolled her eyes."You know very well, I'm not that way. What about Bill? Oh he's married!"

"Bing. Ten points for Ms. Granger!"

"Okay, okay! Come on! On with the list!"

"Right-O. We are left with ickley Ronniekins, Percy the Prat, and us."

Both twins leaned in at "us" and smiled charmingly for Hermione.

"Anyway! It's not Percy. Because as previously mentioned, he's a prat," said Fred.

"And an arse,"added George.

"And a tool!"

"And a fool!"

"Hey, that rhymed!" they said in unison.

Hermione looked at the two with faux exasperation. Really that's what she loved about being around the twins. They made her laugh and not worry. Harry and Ron were very rarely like this, "Okay Lords Byron and Tennyson, keep moving," she said. And at the twins confused looks, "They are muggle poets. Keep going. I want to know who I am not love with."

"Right! Well, it's not Ron because you have recently developed good taste. And you are completely over your Ex," continued Fred.

"Or are you? If not, than you're insane."

"And you need immediate psychiatric care."

"But as it is, you are not insane. At least you don't seem to be."

"Since you do not seem to be insane, that leaves me and George."

"Sooooooo. Which one of us is it?" they asked together.

"Well, as previously mentioned. I was just doodling. But if we are going on with this charade, you'll want me to choose right?"

"Of course!"

Hermione suddenly did a great impression of the twins infamous grin, "Well then you'll just have to prove who deserves my love than won't you?

"Competition! Excellant!" exclaimed the twins.