A/N: I recently re-watched Life Unexpected. I am so in love with that show that it hurts. It's so good and I'm so gutted it ended. Anyway, my OTP of that show is Lux and Eric. I absolutely adore them together and I can't get them out of head so here is a little one shot. It's set during the last ever episode. Enjoy! (btw there are mentions of Lux/Jones, and some brief mentions Baze/Cate and Ryan/Julia)
It had been almost two years since everything happened. Since Lux finally started to think about moving on from Eric, since she passed her driving test, since Baze decided to reopen the bar, since the radio show started back again and since Cate arrived at the bar to tell Ryan that his ex was in fact pregnant. It had been almost two years and in a month or so Lux would be graduating along with Tasha and Jones. It had been almost two years of not only fixing things and creating new things but also learning to just deal.
As much as Lux had grown to love her life there were always those moments where she felt lost again. Her relationship with Cate and Baze had grown so strong that she now called them Mom and Dad. It helped that the pair of them within the last year had grown closer and finally got together. It helped that Ryan was still a strong father figure in her life despite rekindling with his ex Julia to raise their baby son. Even Math had found love and she was expecting their first child and although Jamie no longer lived in town he was there most often than not. Tasha never had any more trouble after she served her time in juvey and when she got out she and Lux talked for hours about their past, recent events and even Eric. They discussed the changes that were occurring and from then on when they discussed almost everything.
Lux had the best life anyone could ever ask for. She got the parents she always wished for plus more but sometimes her mind betrayed her and she just needed a break. So she took a drive, a drive to see the ocean. Of all the times she went on these drives she never reached it, she would always turn the car around before she got too far but the idea of going to the ocean calmed her down. Along the way this time she spotted the billboards, one in particular. On that particular stretch of road the billboards hadn't changed in the last two or three years, however when she started to see that one or two were being changed she decided to pull over at one billboard in particular.
A smile spread across her face as she saw the familiar sand and the water. Carefully she made her way up the attached ladder and sat in front of the billboard with her back against it. She closed her eyes and pretended that she was in fact on that beach. She had come here once after Eric had shown her it, not too long after he had left in fact but she had never been to see it since. She loved Jones and as she looked down at the locket he had given her for a graduation present, which contained a picture of the two of them plus Tasha, she knew she did. As much as she loved her parents and the rest of the family she knew they could never really get her and even if they did she would only be plagued with the idea that maybe it was because they had to get her. Tasha and Jones both got her. That's why they had been best friend for so long and she was dating the latter, because they understood her but no matter how many times she pretended it wasn't true, no one ever got her like Eric. Sure Tasha and Jones came close but there was just something about Eric.
So she pulled out the compass from the pocket. She normally kept it in her room. At first it never sat well with Cate and Baze, or even Ryan, but slowly she could see them roll their eyes or even smile when they saw it, especially after she and Cate had spoken about how Lux had met Eric and their story was told. She knew that they would never say that their relationship was anything other than inappropriate but Lux liked to say she saw a hint of acceptance in their eyes, like they believed that she and Eric really had been in love and that, if the circumstances had been different, it could have been a beautiful thing. So on occasion Lux would carry the compass with her, to remind herself that she was going to be okay. Eric's intentions had worked, the compass helped her to find her own way without him, but sometimes she needed his help. Gripping the compass and holding it to her chest Lux kept her eyes closed and pretended to listen to the imaginary waves.
Her thoughts however were cut short at the sound of a car engine. She had parked her car far enough off the side of the road to not be a nuisance so she assumed it would be Tasha, Jones, Cate or Baze. Maybe even Ryan. They knew she liked to go for a drive when she needed some time alone so maybe one of them had followed her but when she opened her eyes none of them came up the ladder. Instead, Eric did.
"Minnesota," she breathed out in surprise.
He nodded his head at her with a soft smile. Carefully he stepped onto the platform and made his way over to her. He slid down beside her, leaving some space between them. They hadn't seen each other or been in contact since he left the bar that night.
"You still have that?" he asked her, motioning to the compass still pressed tightly to her chest.
She nodded her head as she looked forward, refusing to look at him. "I do. I keep it in my room. I considered getting rid of it not that long ago because of Jones and the fact that things were really falling into place but I couldn't."
"Jones?" Eric questioned but his voice gave it away that he knew.
"We're together, we grew closer after you left and eventually we got together," Lux explained softly. "Turns out he isn't so normal either. He helped me deal with everything in my life, including you leaving."
"I had to leave, you know that right?"
She nodded as she dropped her hands to her lap, bringing her compass along with it. "I always did I guess but it took me a while to accept it."
"How come you never got rid of it?"
"Occasionally I lose my step," she said in a whisper. "My chest feels tight and I start to feel lost again. I need a way to cope and eventually I found it. Everyone I love gets it, they understand but it isn't enough. There's something missing so one day I went for a drive and I realised that I wanted to see the ocean." Eric smiled a little at her words but she never turned to look at him. "I never went of course, I've never come this far before. But after that first drive it became a habit to just drive when I felt lost and bringing the compass just became habit as well. I learned to find my way without you but sometimes I just needed a little of bit of your help. Why did you come back here?"
"I knew you would be graduating soon," he explained gently, scratching a spot just behind his ear in thought. "And Tasha too. I know us being together didn't always help her but she was a great person and I owe a lot to her too, so I wanted to be here to see you both graduate or to at least check in. I drove this way hoping to see this billboard, if it wasn't here then maybe I would have turned back around but then I saw someone sitting it in front of it and I just knew it was you."
"And how were you going to see us graduate?"
"I don't know," he admitted. "Maybe wait to see if you came out in your gown or arrive early to see if you would show up to school. I don't really know."
"And then you would just leave?" she questioned as she stood up.
Seeing that she was going to climb down from the billboard Eric stood up. He reached her before she got to the ladder. He grabbed her arm to stop her but she yanked it away and as she did he caught the tears in her eyes.
"Lux," he said softly as he dropped his hand.
"Don't," she told him. "I'm graduating, okay? So is Tasha so you can just leave now."
"I-"
"Don't," she said again, angry this time as she turned back to him. "I get it, okay? And I'm so thankful I got this compass from you but you walked away from me at the bar and I didn't get to see you one last time. I couldn't tell you I was sorry and that I loved you and how thankful I was to have you in my life. I couldn't make sure you knew that you're a good person and no matter what other people thought about us, what we had was important and you shouldn't ever feel bad about what happened. I wanted you to know all of that but you left, you bailed. And I don't blame you, I don't but we have fallen out of love and you can't just show up here again like things never changed. You don't need to be here, so why are you?"
As she turned to climb back down the ladder Eric grabbed her arm again but this time he didn't let her yank it away. He turned her around to face him and gripped both of her arms.
"You need to know that nothing that happened stopped me loving you, that stuff in court, what you said, none of it changed a thing. Sure it made me think about the bad things about our relationship and it made me realise that you needed to find a more stable way to be happy but it never stopped me from loving you," he told her honestly as she finally looked at him. "I didn't want to leave you at the bar. When you grabbed my arm and called my name I just wanted to turn around and hug you, to tell you that everything was going to be okay and make sure that you were safe but I couldn't. I couldn't because I would never let you go. Living without you has been torture and yes, I've found peace and I'm learning to live without you but I feel lost sometimes too and only you can bring me back. And while we're being honest, I never stopped loving you. Even right now, I am more in love with you than I ever was. I'm not saying I haven't been with anyone else or that I won't be in the future but I will never love anyone the way I loved you, Lux. I know I bailed and I am so sorry, the idea of you never forgiving me kills but I deserve it. You are so special Lux, you have to believe that."
He took a deep breath has he finished speaking. Both of them had tears in their eyes and they were both shaking almost. She stepped into his arms and they hugged. Her head rested on his chest and he kissed the top of her head. The sound of his heart hit her ears and a calming wave washed over her entire body. Slowly they both relaxed.
"I still love you too," she said softly but with a tone that said it wasn't enough anymore and that things would never go back to the way they had been before. "And I don't want you to feel bad about anything, okay?"
"But-"
"But nothing," she said as she pulled away to look at him. "I'm done being angry and upset over you, it's going to hurt when you leave again but knowing and seeing that you're okay, that you really are still out there, it kind of helps."
"Maybe we'll meet again and actually be able to sit and have a conversation," he chuckled softly. "Maybe years from now we'll find each other and we'll be able to live every moment of our lives without the others help."
Lux carefully fingered the compass. "I don't think I want to."
"Then when I get back in my car and drive away, I'm not leaving forever," he told her.
"I hear Minnesota is a really friendly place," Lux smiled to herself. "Maybe one day I'll go and see for myself."
"And maybe one day I'll be there too."
Without another word they climbed down from the billboard. As she did Eric reached into his pocket and lightly touched the piece of paper he had scribbled on when he saw her sitting in front of the billboard. Smiling to himself he pulled it out and added something else to it before he pushed it back into his pocket and climbed down after her. They walked back over to their cars which were parked one behind the other. They got to Lux's car first and once she opened her door she turned to face him again. They shared one last hug. As they pulled apart he handed her the piece of paper before heading to his own car.
As he got in and drove away she opened up the piece of paper. It was a phone number with the name 'Minnesota." Scribbled on the paper were two other words 'one day.' Carefully she folded up the paper and slipped it into her pocket. As she climbed into her car and headed home she knew that she wouldn't call him. Like he said, maybe in years to come they would meet again. Maybe she would call him instead because she knew there would come a day when driving and holding a compass wouldn't help anymore but maybe they would be strong enough to talk and help each other that way.
When she got back and entered the house nobody moved to greet her. Instead they let her climb the stairs to her room. She stripped off her coat and hat and threw them on the bed. She then pulled the compass and piece of paper out of her pocket and moved to her desk. She opened up one of the draws near the bottom and placed both objects inside. This was where she kept those bits she didn't want to deal with but knew she could never get rid of. She kept the picture of her and Eric (which she had gotten back at some point) and his note he left with the compass in there. She even had bits from her time with Bug and her time in care. However, when she closed the draw she opened it straight back up and again and pulled the compass back out. Staring at it she nudged the draw shut with her foot and made her way over to her bedside table. There were framed pictures. One of her, Baze and Cate and the other one was of her, Tasha and Jones. On the other table there was one of her with all of those people including Ryan, Julia, Math and Jamie. Ryan and Julia's little boy was in the picture also. For a while she had considered hanging some of the picture in that desk draw but she never could so instead she placed the compass there, propping it up against the two photos for support. Smiling at the compass she sat on her bed, grabbed her phone and prepared to chat to Tasha and Jones.
Some years laterLux went to college, she even went with Tasha and Jones. Although they were all studying different things she and Tasha got a room together and they were constantly meeting up with Jones. She got through college but it wasn't without its downsides. Although her friendship with Tasha grew stronger and she made some new friendships, it put strain on her relationship with Jones. Knowing that they meant too much to each other Tasha and some friends urged them both to talk things through before it ended badly. The pair of them stayed friends but their relationship stopped. There were still some things that Lux could only tell him and vice versa.
With most families there are troublesome times and a few of those managed to pop up. Despite not being in Portland anymore Lux still felt like she was in the middle of it. All of this (including her break-up with Jones) happened towards the end of her time in college. So, when she finished college she decided to take some time to herself. She moved back to Portland but although she kept in touch with everyone she got her own place away from everybody. She travelled out of town more often than not to really get away and she focused on making plans to look for a job that she would truly enjoy for the rest of her life.
Of course everything died down. It did about three or four months after she got home to Portland and moved out but it still felt like something was missing in Lux's life. So one Saturday morning while she was cleaning out her room she spotted the compass in one of the boxes. She smiled at it. At first her thought was to go to Minnesota but then another thought came to mind. She settled the compass onto the bed and moved to her wardrobe. She changed her jeans for shorts and put a thin cardigan over her t-shirt. She slipped into some trainers and grabbed her bag as well as the compass. With her car keys in hand she headed outside.
As she was driving she went over in her mind on what to say but when she had to stop at traffic lights she knew she was never going to get anything out if she planned it. So she unlocked her phone as it sat in its holder next to the radio. She scrolled down and clicked on the name 'Minnesota'. She had saved it into her phone during college when she almost relented and called him but she never had. As it began to ring she set it to loudspeaker and switched off the radio before driving forward when the light turned green.
"Hello?" a voice came through on the second ring.
A sigh of relief crossed her lips when his voice reached her ears. She had been so afraid that it wouldn't be his number anymore. "Guess where I'm going?"
There was a brief silence before he spoke. "Lux?" She could practically here the smile in his voice.
It didn't even bother her that he hadn't answered her questioned. "I was afraid you might have changed your number."
"I couldn't, not until you called."
"Things have changed even more since you left again. I finished college, Jones and I decided to be friends and there was some family trouble," she told him briefly, wanting to save any possible conversation material for later.
"Congratulations and I'm sorry about the rest," he said sincerely.
"It's okay," she said, finally feeling like it was. "I found my way."
"Oh really?" he asked and again she could hear that hint of a smile in his voice.
"Oh really," she confirmed with a small smile of her own.
Eric chuckled and it made her smile grow even bigger. "So where are you going?"
"To see the ocean," she laughed. It sounded almost stupid now but she knew he would understand.
Silence passed over them. After a few moments she was afraid that maybe she had said something wrong, but then she could swear she heard him whisper 'one day' before in a louder voice, filled with happiness, he asked;
"Today?"
"Today."
I hope you enjoyed! :) This is my first time writing for Life Unexpected and this pairing, but I will definitely be writing more in the future for sure. Anyway, have a great day! R&R
