Trying my hand at muti-chapter fanfic.
Hope you guys like it.
Dont know if I will continue posting it... but if I get a fair response, I will...

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the world of Harry Potter , J.K.R owns it all, and I'm not her.


Silence. Not a tone of sound rang around my ears. It was like finding peace again, only, it felt violated. Why?
Twelve years ago, if you were to come and tell me that I was a wizard, and not just any wizard but a wizard who would stop the darkest wizard of all times, I would probably laugh at your stupidity. But today it was different. I had in fact destroyed the darkest wizard, and in doing so I had killed my family, my friends and a little bit of myself too.

It felt stupid to be with the people I caused pain to, all those who lost their loved ones because of me. No not because they were fighting for me, but if I hadn't lived that night in Godric's Hollow, if I had just died, none of this would have happened, or it would have?
Lord Voldemort killed my parents. Would it have stopped him from killing others' too? If I were dead, would he have stopped killing? Of course the answer is no. He was prejudiced into thinking that he was the smartest, wittiest and the most powerful wizard of all times; probably more than Merlin. So no, he wouldn't have stopped killing, in fact if he had won, there would have been no half blood or muggle born wizards/witches at all.

Should I be proud?

Watching Molly Weasley's face as the dawn of losing her son reaches her face, as Dennis clutches the limp body of his brother, as Mrs. Tonks watches the toddler jump at his dead parent's body. All dead, all because of me.
Teddy's cry alerted me. That was not supposed to happen. No more children were to be left to live parentless. Especially not my godson.
Teddy struggled in his grandmother's arms, trying to get away and into his mother's arm, where she could hold him tight, probably kiss him on his head, before he realized , tears had fallen from his eyes, and made their way down his cheeks. Soft finger tips trailed the tears and wiped them away. As he looked up, he was looking into a pool of hurt, discomfort and love. Those brown orbs had nothing but love and adoration for him. Before he could say a word, she hugged him. The familiar scent surrounded him, and he was back there. In those lone stolen hours spent with her on the Hogwarts grounds. It was Dumbledore's favorite potion, Love.

I didn't deserve this hug, hell; I didn't deserve the attention she was giving me.

"You should be terrified of me Ginny, not hugging me"

"Now why would I do that?"

"Cause I ruined your life. And you family's"

"How did you do that? As far as I can remember you did the one thing we all have being trying to do. Get rid of evil. Be normal you know, live a life where we don't have to watch our back. Where you don't have to take a step and not be worried whether or not Voldemort is going to sense and attack you. No Harry, you saved us, you saved us from a doom we all expected. You are our hero!"

"No! Don't call me that, please! Yes Voldemort is dead. It is over. The worst had come and gone, and I lived. Lived with the guilt of the murders of my best friends, relatives, and soldiers. It just happens to be my fault all the time, doesn't it?"

"No Harry, you are wrong! This is what we wanted remember… a world where there is no evil. Yes people died, but that is not on you! We all lost something or the other in this fight, and we all fought for that very reason. We all fought for the light. For light to win against the dark. Moreover I fought this war so that I don't bring my child into a world where impending doom hangs on his head." She blushed.

"Your child? Marriage plans already Ginevra Weasley?" I teased.

"Only if the bloke I had in my mind proposes. I am not the type of girl who takes matters in her own hands. I'd rather have a fine boy do the honors" she winked and walked away, leaving the air less tensed.

There would be time, to settle scores, but now the only thing I needed was a long nap. And probably take a bath. There would be time to talk to Ron and Hermione. To explain them the works of Horcruxes. Time to explain what went down in the Forest. Time to prove Severus Snape's innocence. And of course time to accept a grieving heart's love for a certain Weasley Daughter.

Walking up to the Gryffindor Common Room seemed normal, like I hadn't just skipped my 7th year or had defeated the killer of my parents. No, it felt like it had felt for the first time.

The beds were welcoming enough, and if it wasn't for my heightened sense of smell, I would have ignored the plate of warm bacon, pancakes and a glass of pumpkin juice placed out on the table for me. God bless the house elves who prepared this. There was time to go down and thank them. For now, eating the wonderful meal was my priority. And then I had a date with my bed and covers.

Lying on the bed with a filled stomach was a feeling that I welcomed happily. It felt good, after an entire year I must accept.

I was home.

I was back into the warmth.

I let the comfort take me in, let it drown me.

The darkness consumed me, no ounce of light. All my life I fought against the dark, yet no victory. Physically I'm done fighting with dark. I think it's time I did it emotionally too.

This is going to be harder than I originally thought it would be. Fighting with people I hate, easy. Fighting with yourself?

It is like resisting laughing on a joke that danced naked in front of you. It will take every ounce of patience in me. And that is saying something.

Harry Potter…. Harry Potter…. Harry Potter….

You let your friends die in your place. You let your family die. You let your love die. Your godson will grow to be alone like you….

"NO! "

"Harry…..Harry… are you alright! Snap out of it! It was just a dream!"

"Ron! Teddy...Is Teddy okay? I killed them right? Just tell the truth. Remus and Tonks have gone right? God! What have I done! I killed them! Spots… red...Blood all over me! I need to scrub… scrub… scrub…"

"Shhh Harry! You are in the Gryffindor Boys Dorm. You are with me and Ron! Remember me? Hermione Granger! Remember Ron Weasley? We are your best friends!"

"No... I have no friends! I killed your brother Ron, Fred or something his name was. I killed him. I uh… I killed all of them"

My hands were red, filled with blood. Had to get them off.

I sprint to the bathroom, and let the bath run.

Without taking off my clothes I step inside, grab a brush and start scrubbing.

"Get it off…. Get it of… get if off… "

I continued scrubbing. Sun rose, Sun set… No time changed the reality.

I killed them.

"No you did not! So stop screaming that or else I will hex you into oblivion!"

"Who are you?"

"You don't remember me? I uh… My name is Ginevra Weasley, I am…. I am Ron's sister"

"Weasley? I killed your brother! I broke your heart! Didn't I? I left you didn't I? Why can't I remember it? Goddamn! "

"Harry, stop! You are going to peel of the skin if you continue!"

"How can I stop? I killed people! People I didn't know. People who had no connection to me what so ever! I'm a killer. Just like that guy who left my parents after the accident. Just like the person who left my parents to bleed to death. I have become into the cold murderer Aunt Petunia always feared I would become."

"What are you rambling about Harry? You are at Hogwarts! Safe from those monsters"

"Monsters? Did you just call my family monsters? The only family left for me? They are not the monsters! I am… and what is Hogwarts anyway?"

"Harry stop! You are not a monster! And uh… Hogwarts is a school! "

"But I just killed that little boy, what was his name, yes Teddy's parents! How do I know his name? I have never seen him in my life, who are Remus and Tonks? Why would they make me his godson?School? really, looks more like a mueseum!"

"What is the last thing you remember doing Harry?"

"Me? Well the last thing I remember is… " I tried to remember.

Shit! It was a blur. Snippets of a life I didn't know came back to me. A big giant breaking down the door. A letter to a special school. Flying broomsticks. Three headed dog. Mirror which showed my parents. A room with a huge snake. A horse that could fly. A room with glowing bowls. And then blank… until killing those people. Yes that is the truth, I killed them.

"I remember killing people. Killing loads of people."

"You didn't kill anyone! It was Lord Voldemort and his followers that did that! Not you! It was Voldemort…. "

"And I killed him too right? Answer me? I killed him too didn't I?"

"Yes you did, but that is because he killed your parents..."

"No my parents were killed in a car crash by some one name Roy."

"THERE IS NO ROY! YOU DID NOT KILL ANYONE… AND IF YOU KEEP THIS GOING YOU WILL KILL MY PATIENCE HARRY JAMES POTTER"

Footsteps. I heard footsteps after her screaming. She was terrifying. Her eyes blazed with a fire I never knew. And her voice? It was octave higher than Aunt Petunia. And that scared me.

"What is going on here? We heard you scream Ginny"

And not so subtly, the bathroom was filled with redheads and a bushy head.

And I was there in the tub, covered in soap water, brush in one hand, and the shower head in the other.

"What is happening here Ginny?" I am assuming she was the girl's mother; she did have the same red hair and eyes.

"Mom, he thinks he has killed everyone. Including… Fred… oh mother! You should have seen him… he was… scrubbing so much… crying and screaming… he blames himself…" she sobbed into the air.

Ron went to her and held her as she sobbed into his chest. He must have been the brother I could never be to Dudley. No wonder he always beat me. If only I had shown some respect of love…

"Harry, oh Harry, it isn't true! You did not kill anyone! Especially not Fred! How could you kill your own brother! You are too kind for that Harry. You mostly did not kill Fred. Or anyone for that matter"

"I killed Voldemort, didn't I?" I whispered.

"He deserved to die Harry. All you did was avenging your parents' death. And many other family's deaths. You would have never killed Voldemort either, if it weren't for him trying to kill you all the time" hiccupped the red haired woman.

"Kill me? Why would he want to kill me?"

"Because you…"

"Mother, it is of no use. He has lost his memory some way. Or something has triggered all the wrong memories. He says his parents were killed in the car crash and that Aunt Petunia predicted he would become a killer if not a drug addict"

"Oh dear…, Bill, call Kingsley, I think we may have some problems."
I watched as the red head family moved in and out of the bathroom. The bushy haired girl came in to give me a towel, and sat down beside the tub.

"You are my best friend Harry, more like a brother, please come back to me" I was surprised to see tears in her eyes. Me? A best friend? A brother? Wasn't I a killer? So how could I mean so much to her?

She must be joking right? RIGHT?

I stared down at my hands.

And screamed.

I knew something was wrong. But this? I never expected.

I looked old. Like 18 years old.

But I was 10. Only 10.

This body did not belong to me.

I ran to the bedroom in my towel, blowing the cupboard door open with the sudden force and stared into my reflection.

I looked different.

Older.

Tougher.

Wiser.

Better.

Sleepier.

Tired.

This wasn't my body. Yet it looked just like mine.

Same eyes, same hair!

Holy Shit!

Same scar on the same side of the body.

Either I was dreaming. Or I just hit growth spurt way too fast!

My hands were double my old size.

I was a little broader. I used to be silly skinny.

What the hell happened?


Should I continue?

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