A/N Just a quick little one-shot in honor of Valentine's day and romance and all that jazz. I couldn't stop thinking about a fluffy little Cophine fic with dueling science-geek pickup lines, so at two in the morning I set out to start writing it! I apologize for any errors, this was just a quick little thing and it's terribly late here now! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy it. Oh, and it's from Delphine's point of view, by the way.
-Nightshade
I do not own Orphan Black, and I take no credit for any of the pick-up lines featured throughout the fic. I'd been compiling a list from different sources, I'm not claiming to have made any of them up myself!
Comme des Enfants
"You've got more cleavage than a cell undergoing cytokinesis." Were the words I last remembered hearing Cosima mischievously utter before I started choking on my sip of wine in shock. The sour-but-rich liquid had caught in my throat as I struggled not to burst out laughing at the woman sitting across from me. The choking alone had caused enough of a disturbance amongst the other couples dining in the fine restaurant. I attempted my best show of put-togetherness, willing the blush out of my cheeks upon hearing the cheesy—and slightly suggestive—pick-up line. The scientist peered out from behind her glasses in a show of faux-innocence, shrugging her shoulders in an attempt to look casual.
"Vraiment Cosima? Really?" I stuttered back. She truly was a dork. A dork who currently seemed quite proud of herself for pulling the line off. Her feet, restless like her ever-moving hands, gently grazed my calves as she leaned back, allowing the wait staff to take our plates away. I was dabbing at the wine I knew still clung to my lips, attempting to appear composed under the sudden scrutiny of other patrons, as well as to conceal my grin. The scientist, clad in a deep burgundy dress with beading up around the neckline, leaned closer across the table.
"Well, Delphine, you must be a neuron, because you've definitely got some action potential." She winked exaggeratedly, her eyes an onyx-black amidst the soft candle-lighting of the restaurant. Her gaze was soft but alluring, pulling me closer, but I couldn't get over her absolutely ridiculous words. I wanted to toss my head back and laugh heartily at her antics. She made me feel free like that. Instead, I signaled the waiter to bring the cheque over.
"You're incorrigible." I shot back, my fingers dancing against hers in the loose hand-hold we'd kept up for the entire night. And now I'm being seduced with science pick-up lines by candlelight. Not your average date, but I should have known that with Cosima, anything could happen. And with her playful streak, anything would happen.
"You're just jealous that you can't keep up!" she teased softly, her face shining in jest as I signed my name and paid for the meal, waiting for the waiter to come and pick up my credit card. He'd done so with a stern, bemused face. Apparently our antics weren't widely appreciated. Cosima's voice, however, rung in my ears and was light, sweet and perhaps even more intoxicating than the glass of wine I'd indulged in earlier. Her hand had grasped mine, heavy with rings and bracelets and other trinkets, and she pulled me to my feet in a swift, excited motion. There was a harried scramble for coats and purses, intersticed with unrestrainable chuckles. We burst through the restaurant doors out into the moist, cool winter-city air like fireworks with our heads light with mirth. Little trails of glowing phosphorus glimmered and popped as we laughed.
"You brat! How much longer until we get kicked out of one of these public establishments!" I was grinning like an idiot as I said it, joking of course. Although between the wine-thievery once before, and now our general aura of disruptiveness, it was bound to happen eventually. With dreadlocks swinging and bouncing in haphazard movement, the petite woman ignored the statement, instead turning around and walking backwards, tugging me by the hand through the streets and the tides of people.
"Baby you've got plenty of potential, my place would be a great place to convert it to kinetic." She practically had a smirk tattooed upon her face at this point. It was un jeu in a way, a game for her. I wanted to kiss the smirk away, mais pas maintenant. And another thing, where did she even come up with all these dirty science pickup lines? Full of surprises, this woman is.
"You're just a horny geek aren't you?" I jibed back, the words bouncing about on little chuckles. Cosima pretended to take offense at my accusation, touching her heart softly in faux-pain, before pouting her lip softly. Within seconds she had the most intentional puppy-dog face, complete with her big wide eyes and adorable downturned lips. She only uses the expression when she wants me to do something for her, I've seen it many times before. But she somehow still makes it irresistible.
"Fine. Uhmm… you must be composed of copper and tellurium, because you're Cu-Te." I responded, giving in to her little game. I watched her grin insanely wide, and she dropped back to walk beside me, our hands swinging like a pendulum to an upbeat tempo in between us as we headed back to the loft. Of course, Cosima bore no actual resemblance to copper telluride, but she was cute, c'est la vérité. It was a bit of fun, right?
"If I could be an enzyme, I'd be helicase so I could unzip your genes." The dreadlocked scientist husked, her voice caught somewhere in between a husky growl and an adorable giggle. Or I suppose, adorkable, as she would insist. There was a spark in her eyes, the bright glimmering amongst the darkened gold irises shining like stars. Like Rigel and Arcturus and Sirius and all the stars in the sky. She brought them down to earth, took their untouchable radiance and captured it in the slightest shining in her eyes as they smiled. She smiled with her entire face, with her entire being, and with all the radiance of a star. It was a mischievous glimmer, and I felt its heat warm against my cheeks as she leaned in closer to where I was walking. Peut-être it was just me blushing.
"Well, I'd rather you be a motor protein instead of helicase, so instead of unzipping my genes," I smirked, "You could hold me close." A whisper as I cheekily pulled her against my side by her waist, standing so close by each other that she nearly stepped on my toes as we attempted to walk a straight line through the crowded streets. I could feel the palpable smile upon her cheeks against my lips. In response, her arms tightened around my waist. It was almost hard to walk at this point. We were stumbling about comme des enfants naïves, occasionally letting out a little giggle. Most of those were Cosima though, she had the cutest laugh. I felt her humming, the soft noise putting a warmth in my chest as she quirked her eyebrow, thinking. Always thinking.
"If you're water, then I'm sodium, because what we do when we're together is explosive." She snuggled into my side, her head tucked into the nook where my shoulder met my neck, as her soft breathing feathered against the skin there. We walked in this awkward, entangled manner through the streets, walking down the alley to Felix's loft, which I had been assured would be left empty. I didn't want to let Cosima go though, she was addictive. Her warmth, her presence, the little tickles I feel against my skin when her fingers brush there or her eyelashes sweep closed. She was a miracle. A cheeky little miracle who was currently laughing against my neck.
"Are you a retrovirus? Because you've inserted yourself into the foundations of my life." I shot back. Secretly, this was kinda fun. It was dorky, oui, terribly so, but it was fun. We probably looked insane to anyone on the outside who could see us. It was like we were in a bubble though, a bubble that we'd built with giggles and lame science puns, and anything outside of our bubble didn't matter. We climbed the steps to the loft's door, the alley barely lit except for the ethereal glow of the lone neon sign. And Cosima's starry eyes of course.
"You make my heart explode like nitroglycerin." The dreadlocked woman had tossed her arms around my neck, and had me pinned against a graffiti-covered-wall within seconds. For someone so small she certainly was strong. There was a challenging smirk on her face, like some sort of showdown. I tried to steal a kiss from her but she vehemently refused, shaking her head impishly. Her hands were firm but soft on my hips, dancing about slightly with her finger-pads, because she simply couldn't sit still. There was a sudden intimacy to the moment, a real-ness which felt shy and blooming.
"Aorta tell you how much I love you." I attempted, smiling with a little bit of embarrassment at the horrid pun I'd just made. The other scientist grinned, pushing her glasses back into place before standing on her tip-toes to look me in the eye. Our noses were barely touching, and I could hardly resist nudging against hers. Whenever I did so she'd scrunch her nose up and her starry eyes would flutter. Yet another adorable trait.
"If I had to choose between DNA and RNA, I'd pick RNA because it has U in it." The line was delivered with a sweet smile, different than the earlier mischievous, lascivious grins and expressions. It still sent my heart beating faster and faster though. It was simply a different kind of perfect. I pursed my lips and hummed, leaning against the wall and making a big show out of thinking hard and long while the shorter woman bounced on her tip-toes, getting un peu impatiente.
"Okay, you win." I acquiesced, barely able to get my words out before she gently attacked—if that was possible— me with a flurry of kisses, peppering my lips and cheeks. Silly girl, I thought, as I gently pushed the door of the loft open despite the onslaught of attention. It took a few seconds of tentative, unsteady wobbling about on our feet before I managed to capture her excitable lips and pull her into a longer, deep kiss. And in that second I swore I could taste her smile.
A/N thank you all for reading, feel free to leave a review, and I hope you all had a lovely Valentine's day!
Translations:
Vraiment Cosima… Really Cosima?
Mais pas maintenant… But not now
C'est la vérité… It's the truth
Peut-être… Perhaps
Comme des enfants naïves… Like naïve children
Un peu impatiente… A little bit impatient
