TITLE: The Choices We Make
AUTHOR: Kate of Claire and Kate
DISCLAIMER: Don't own anybody :)
NOTES: I Loved writing my songfic, and decided, I can't get enough grey-fic. So, here we go my first chapter saga about the Grey's universe. Short Chapter, many many many more to come!
Meredith Grey didn't want to make the choice. She couldn't! Not there, not then, not like that.
He was looking at her again, Derek was looking at her. Beckoning her with his eyes, as Finn beckoned with his voice.
"Meredith?" Finn called again.
Stop saying my name, She thought.
If she couldhave frozen time, she would have.She would have leftthem both standing there as she ran away, ran far away and never had to make a choice.
Derek's eyes never shifted, she stared at him, waiting to see if he'd even blink.
Meredith finally spoke up, her gaze shifting to Finn.
"Izzie needs me," She said, closing her eyes for a moment as she thought. She wasn't goingto make the choice that night.Notthere, not then.Before either could speak, before Derek could even blink, she swiftly turned and bolted down the stairs.
Not there, not then.
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Meredith slipped the worn turtleneck over her head, looked at herself in it, then pulled it off quickly. It made her think of him. He was the last person she wanted to think about then.
She found an old T-shirt instead, pulled it over her head and combed her fingers through her hair, pulling it up into a loose ponytail.
Izzie stood in the doorframe of Meredith's room, her mascara still stained onherpale cheeks but she was comfortably dressed, a mug of green tea in her hands.
"Izzie...I..."
Izzie shook her head. "You don't have to say anything," She said softly. "Words won't bring him back and words won't change anything."
She looked away as the tears filled her eyes. "Alex...Alex keeps saying he died happy. He died in love. He...he says..." She could barely talk as the sobs consumed her whole body. Meredith took the mug from Izzie's hand, set it on her dresser and embraced her melancholy friend, her surgery sibling and confidant.
Izzie pulled away and tried her hardest to smile at Meredith. "Tell me something funny, something random, tell me something that'll make the pain go away, even for a moment."
Meredith needed to get it out, she needed to say it, and she didn't even bother to stop herself. "I had sex with Derek. I excused myself from Finn and I had sex with Derek. Really good sex...but bad sex in the sense that wow, we really shouldn't have even been having sex. But we did, we had good bad sex and I'm still sitting here trying to make a choice. I chose to have sex with Derek...but I can't choose between he and Finn."
Izzie looked from her teary eyes in shock at Meredith, too dumbfounded to even speak.
"I am a whore. I really am a whore," Meredith said to herself.
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They sat in the room, silent. The beep and whir of medical machines and whispers in the hallway was all they heard.
Cristina held Preston's hand in hers. They stared at each other, his heart full and relieved to see her sitting next to him.
He tried hard to grip her hand, tried hard to squeeze it within his and feel the warmth.
Cristina smiled at him, and he smiled back at her through his pain.
He loved it when she smiled, those rare moment where her walls came down and her eyes would sparkle.
Yeah, he loved her smile.
