- Fili?! Kili?! If this is some sort of hide and seek, then I can say I don't like it. Come on! Where are you?!
I shout as I look everywhere in the house for my brothers.
They have been gone for the whole morning and I start to panic.
"Where can they be? It not like them to not tell me where they go. They know how I can be if they don't tell me those things."
I am on the way to walk out to the backyard for the second time, when the front door opens and mother walks in carrying two baskets of vegetables.
I close the back door and walk over to her when she struggles with the door. I take one basket with one hand and close the door with the other.
Mother look at me and smiles as she lays down her basket and takes off her shoes.
- Thank you Ratcha. Will you be so kind and take the baskets to the kitchen?
Nodding, I take the other basket from the floor and walk to the kitchen.
Placing the baskets on the table, I turn around faking that I take away some sweat from my forehead.
- Wow mother. What have you in this? Iron axes?
Mother laughs as she walks over to the table and sit down on one of the chairs with her hand on her back.
With a concern look, I kneel down in front of her. Placing my hand on her knee, I look at her with thoughtful eyes.
- Dis, you will destroy your back one day if you don't start to think about how much you can carry in your baskets.
Dis look at me with her hazelnut brown eyes and smiles again.
She and uncle are so much alike that none of them can't say that they are not related. From the black long hair to how they even walk is saying siblings. I can barely see who's who when I look at them from behind.
Even Fili and Kili is so much like their mother that it is scary. Kili have gotten her black hair and her always happy eyes, while Fili have gotten her funny laugh and her sense of humor. Fili looks more like his father according to Dis. I never got the chance to meet him before he died in the battle of Moria.
Me? I look like none of them. I don't have any of Dis features. I don't have her laugh, her sense of humor. I don't have anything that she, Fili and Kili have. I don't even have a beard like she has. And I know that I will never have one either.
My icy blue eyes tell everyone that sees them that I am not a Dwarf. I have never seen a Dwarf with the same color as mine for over 60 years. And I think I will never get to see one with it either. It's more a Mind-Changer eye color.
My height is also standing out. If an adult Dwarf stands beside me, I am taller by a head than them. And I am just 10 years old. Well actually, I am 110 years old. But still. King Thror was 248 years old when he died. A Mind-Changer ages slower than a Dwarf on the outside, but we are aging a lot faster on the inside. My father was over 2000 years old when he died, but he looked like he only was 40. So, the aging part of a Mind-Changer is very confusing.
Come to think of it. Everything that has something to do with the Mind-Changers is very confusing. At least if you ask a Dwarf. Or any other folk. Some even wants us Mind-Changers dead. For we are not something from the world of the living according to them. We are something more like Orcs. How I can be more like an Orc than an Elf I don't know.
- You say that everyday my child. But you should know that I will not listen to you until you or your stubborn brothers will start to help me around in this house. Which will never happen now, will it?
Smirking, I shake my head as I stand up and look at the baskets.
- Using your powers is not helping me around in the house Ratcha.
Dis says as she stands up herself.
The vegetables I had already picked up with my powers drops down into the baskets again. I turn around and look at mother with disappointed eyes.
- If I can't use my powers to help you. Then how am I supposed to practice so I can control them mother? I don't want to have another market disaster again.
Dis look at me with her mother eyes as I have come to call them. It feels like she can look straight through you to see your emotions and also have the sympathy feeling that only a mother can have.
She lays her hand on my shoulder and look me deep into my eyes.
- I know that what happened at the market was nothing you intended to. And I know that you want to be accepted by the other children and adults here. But do understand Ratcha, you are so much like your folk that many of my kin may never see you as one of us. But I will. Your brothers will. Thorin will see you as one of us. And you know that there is many of us that will see you as one of us. Like Bofur. If he wouldn't have seen you as one of us, would he have followed Thorin when he went out searching for you?
Smiling, I shake my head slightly as memories of the journey back from Dale comes through my mind. Bofur making jokes about everything just get me, Oin, Dwalin and Thorin to laugh. He comforts me after yet another nightmare. My laugh echoes through the forest and Bofur's smile as he succeeds on getting me to sing some of my kin's songs over the open fire.
Thorin and the others did what they could to make me laugh and not to think of my gone and broken childhood with my parents. But Bofur did more than just that. He became the person I could turn to when I needed someone to talk to, he became the shoulder I could cry on and he would listen to everything I had to say. If I had something to ask, then he would try to answer before asking Oin if he could answer instead. Even now, five years later. I still talks to Bofur whenever I need to talk to someone outside my family. Sometimes to my brother's disappointment.
- No, you're right mother. There is many of you that don't see me as some outcast. And you're also right that Bofur wouldn't have followed uncle if he didn't saw me as one of his.
Dis smiles and wipe away a tear that have been running down my cheek. She then turns around and start to unpack one of the baskets.
I am helping her putting all the stuff into the right cabinets, when I remember that I still haven't seen my brothers.
- Mother? Where is Fili and Kili?
- They left early in the morning to Hobbiton with the excuse that Thorin asked them to go there.
Dis answers while she lays some bread in one cabin.
- Hobbiton? Is it close to Bree? Why would uncle send them there? And how dare them leaving without saying goodbye to me? I have been worried sick the whole morning.
- They didn't want to wake you up. And they didn't know how to tell you without making you worried about them too much. You who wanted to practice more on your powers could have asked them through your mind.
Sighing, I slap my hand on my forehead while shaking my head.
Cursing my own stupidity, I look at mothers back as she is unpacking the second basket.
- Sometimes I wonder what in Durin's name I am thinking with. Did they say when they would come back?
- They didn't know. But they did give both of us a promise that they would come back to us.
Just then, the door knocks three times. Meaning that it is Uncle Thorin at the door.
- I'll go open for him.
I say smiling before I go to the door.
Thorin smiles when he sees me. He is dressed for a long journey.
"His backpack looks like it will explode soon if he wants something more in it. Why have he packed so much? Is he going to Hobbiton too?"
- Good morning uncle. Come on in.
I say as I open the door more, so he can come in.
Looking behind him, his pony Lejla is tied to our houses fence. She is also packed for a long journey.
I wave to her before I close the door and look at Thorin with a confusing look.
But he is already walking to his sister in the kitchen. Thankfully for him, he took off his shoes before. Dis do not like when someone beside herself walks in with dirty shoes on her freshly cleaned floor.
- Good morning dear brother. Why in such clothes? And why send my sons to Hobbiton without acknowledging me?
"Mother always goes polite when she speaks to uncle. Even though they are siblings."
- Good morning dear sister. I knew you wouldn't let them go if I would have asked you first, and I need them for my journey.
- Where are you going?
I ask while I walk past him and stands beside mother. It must be a very funny sight for Thorin with me being a head taller than Dis. The only one that I am not taller than is Dwalin. He is the tallest Dwarf and he is a head taller than me. But I will grow past him sooner or later.
- That's why I came Ratcha. I was wondering if you wanted to follow me to Ered Luin.
An excited feeling starts to bloom in my heart. The last time I was on any journey or adventure was when I ran to Dale after the death of my father.
- No! She is not leaving.
I look at Dis with surprise mixed with disappointment. Off course, she says no. She doesn't want to lose me as well. But still, I want to.
- Mother! I know that you weren't happy when Fili and Kili left. But please let me follow uncle. Then maybe everyone around here calms down about me being one of your kin.
Dis looks at me with worried eyes. I want to use my powers to change her mind about me not leaving. But I can't do so to my own mother.
Instead, I look inside her head to see what kind of thoughts I can use to make her rethink the whole thing.
But her mind is such a mess with emotions like fear and worry, that I can't even reach her thoughts.
The exited feeling, I had are gone as I leave her mind. Now I know that I can't change her thinking and I don't want to go against her. She is my mother after all.
- I will not let you leave this house with her Thorin. You took my sons away from me. You will not take my daughter as well.
Thorin look at Dis with loveable eyes. He wants me to come with him. But in the same time, he does not want to break Dis mother heart even more.
~ Ratcha? Can I speak to my sister alone?
~ Oh. Ehm, of course you can uncle.
- I think it would be better if you two get to talk about this alone. I will be in my room in the meantime.
I mumble as I walk out from the kitchen and up the stairs to my room.
I just manage to close the door before their screaming reach my ears. Well, it's more mother who screams at Thorin that he is a lot of unappropriated stuff.
Sighing, I turn away from the door and walks over to my bed.
My room is nothing special. It has a bed, a closet for my clothes and other things. It has a window with a view of the Blue Mountain. The walls have a light blue color, but you can barely see it for all the drawings I have hung up. Whenever I can I'll draw what is happening in my surroundings. There is a lot of drawings with my brothers.
In one drawing are they practicing with swords. They were just 8–10 years old so I wasn't surprised when Dis got furious with them when she saw my drawings. Now they are in their twenties, and not here. (Sigh).
In another drawing are they chasing a wet Thorin with buckets of water. In that one they were around 15–17 years, and their laughs can still be heard through the drawing. Even Thorin is smiling with a bucket with water in his hands. Just as I had finished sketching it down, did I realize that they were running towards me. So, I had to run and finish the drawing after that I had been chased for a long time.
There are some drawings of Bofur as well.
How can I not draw him when he does so many funny stuffs that you just want to draw them down?
In one drawing is he playing his flute over the fire. The fire makes his face shine and I am very proud of how I succeeded with the joyful glance in his eyes.
In another drawing is he braiding my hair. Apparently is my brown hair with a mixture of ginger in it very funny to play with, like braiding. And Bofur is very gentle with his hands, and he always sings whenever he plays with my hair.
~ I hope that you have packed.
Hearing Thorin in my head makes me jump up from my bed in surprise. Then I rush over to my closet and now I can use my powers a little. I just think about what I can be needing for the journey and the things comes flying out from the closet and into my backpack. My drawing equipment is in there too, you never know what you might see.
Just as Thorin knocks on my door, I take my cape from its hanger and my knife from the table by the bed.
Mother is not so fond of me going around with a knife hanging around my hips. Think of it, she did not like when my brothers were practicing with their swords, letting me wear my knife wherever I went was not questionable. So, the knife has to stay in my room if I didn't really need it. Like when I had training session with uncle, Fili and Kili. With some help from either Bofur or Dwalin.
When I open the door, Thorin smiles as he sees that I am ready to go. He looks around in my room with a surprised look, but before he can say anything, I push him away from the door and close it.
- You know that I draw a lot uncle. Don't look so surprised.
Thorin laugh while he walks down the stairs.
When we walk past the kitchen, I look inside to see mother sitting by the table, rubbing her hand over her forehead. She looks like she is on the edge of crying.
- Mother. Don't be sad. I will return to you. I will not disappear or anything. You know that a Mind-Changer stands by her words. We do not break them.
I say as I walk over to her and kneel down.
She looks up from her hand and her mother eyes have a mixture with sadness and love. She smiles a weak smile before I stand up. She stands up to and hugs me tightly. I return the hug and bury my head in her shoulder. I take in her sentence, so I will not forget it.
When we part, she takes my hands and I feel that she lays something in them. When I look it is a black marble rock with runes that says promise.
- A reminder. I gave Kili the other one.
Dis says with a weak smile.
I look at her and smiles back.
I send over some warmth and love to her before I walk to the front door where Thorin waits.
When I have made my pony Renya ready to go, the sun appears from behind the clouds and shine on us.
As we ride away towards Ered Luin, I look back to the house one more time. At the front door stands Dis, waving to us. I wave back to her with a smile.
"Now I am on an adventure again. But this time I am not alone. This time I have Thorin with me. What can possible go wrong?"
- Now I can tell you the real reason why we are going on this journey. We are on a quest to take back Erebor from Smaug. But we are going to get help from 10 Dwarves, who they are you will see when we come to Hobbiton, we will also get accompanied by Gandalf the Grey and a Hobbit who according to Gandalf is a burglar who can help us take back Erebor.
"Alright. Everything can go wrong on this adventure."
