Series of Unfortunate Events

Book the First

The Bad Beginning

By

Chapter 1

Before You Start To Read this book I must warn you that this book will bring no pleasure to you it is not the type of book where the hero or heroine triumphs against an evil force of villains this book does not contain happy reunions and this book definitely does not contain little elves who have the most fun that a little elf has it is not a book of happiness this is a book that will surely have you weeping onto the pages and sobbing and moaning in grief as you read the sad tale of The Quagmire Children.

As previously stated déjà vu is the sensation of repeating a moment in time. It is very common in people such as myself as only yesterday when I was stopped by a police officer who attacked me and told me to stop in the name of the law as I ran across a field with only my trusty notebook did I experience this sensation .

As previously stated déjà vu is the sensation of repeating a moment in time. It is very common in people such as myself as only yesterday when I was stopped by a police officer who attacked me and told me to stop in the name of the law as I ran across a field with only my trusty notebook did I experience this sensation . As many of you readers are reading this book you may experience a feeling of déjà vu as you read the title of this book which is with a trace of déjà vu entitled 'The Bad Beginning' as it may remind you of another story entitled 'The Bad Beginning' which follows the start of the tragic and awful tale of The Baudelaire Children. But this book that is entitled 'The Bad Beginning' is one of a very different tale. The tale of the Quagmire children or at least one who is also known as Quigley.

The sensation of déjà vu on the other hand was not being experienced by Quigley Quagmire as he sat in the enormous library of The Quagmire Mansion studying an 523 paged book entitled 'A Lachrymose Atlas' and was writing down notes on the main feeding areas of The Lachrymose Leeches for the new map he was drawing based on Lake Lachrymose.

The word bombard probably means nothing to you unless you worked in the military for sometime specialising in artillery fire; a bombardment is an attack by artillery fire against a fortification such as the building of 667 Dark Avenue. Many words have 2 or more meanings such as run which has over 63 including to run a distance to run for an election or to run from the law. Bombard is one of these words not only is it attack by artillery fire against a fortification but also the word can mean suddenly charge into a room of somewhere much like did the mother of Quigley Quagmire as he was calmly reading the atlas she bombarded the libraries wooden doors shouting at Quigley "RUN QUIGLEY IT IS BURNING THE WHOLE PLACE IS BURNING DOWN YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE FOLLOW ME"!

Quigley was shocked but as any obedient child he gingerly followed his mother through the library to the fireplace. He like many children or adults in this situation was terrified with many questions that he wanted to ask but was in too much shock to speak.

"Wha-" he asked but didn't finish his original query which was What is burning down? What happened? What's going on? But didn't manage to ask.

He ran through the room with his mother who was most probably terrified but did not show it as any sensible parent in front of their children in this kind of situation, she led him quickly to the old golden fireplace with the most wonderful engravings and engraved on the very top is a picture of an eye with the words The World Is Silent Here. Mrs Quagmire then opened a handle attached to the fireplace and lifted the so called sealed fireplace off its so called hinges leaving an oblivious Quigley with a shocked look on his face "Wha-Wher-Ho" he asked stupefied. His mother ushered him into the fireplace down a narrow pipe which was damp and unsurprisingly like most damp places smelled of dirty water.

"Stay in here" she whispered silently holding his hand firmly "I'll be back in a few seconds, I need to get something" weeping the tears falling on her dress like rain. Quigley was so utterly scared it's hard to come up with the words that describe it but also quite easy if you think about it. Quigley Quagmire was terrified.