Author's Note:
So that finale had me wrecked and I don't even know what to do with my life anymore. I feel like it just shattered my shipper heart and now I can't even look at philinda anymore and feel happy because the writers are cruel and ruined it all for me. So of course I've decided to makes myself feel better by writing out all my emotions that is this little angst nugget. Any way, enjoy :/
His blue eyes sparkle like the ocean surrounding the island as he leans across to capture her lips.
"I'm glad we came here," he says as they separate, lowering his head back down to his pillow.
She smiles at him rubbing a thumb over his knuckles lightly as he clasps her hand in his own. Tahiti had been his idea, a way of creating positive memories to override past ones and that's exactly what they've done in the two weeks they've been there. Except that there is a bitter taste in the back of her throat reminding her that none of this is hers to keep. Still, she smiles and she laughs, because this is what Phil wants and she'll be damned if she ruins it for him. Even if her own heart is slowly breaking inside, because for him, she'd do anything.
He sighs as he presses another kiss to her lips and relaxes against the soft mattress of their bed. Retirement isn't something he'd really thought that much about before, it was a distant future to him and yet somehow he's here. He did get one thing right though he thinks as he stares into Melinda's chocolate eyes, so close as their breath mingles and their noses are barely brushing as they share the same pillow. Despite everything they've gone through and all the challenges they've overcome, there is still one constant in his life and that is Melinda by his side. No matter what, she's always been there for him when he's truly needed her and a part of him regrets that all they have now is an unknown measure of time together. He tries not to think about the after, what happens after he's gone, what will happen to Melinda. She is one of the strongest people he has ever known and he has every faith in her, but he hates himself for adding to the pain she has experienced in her life. Their lives are filled with loss but hers seems especially so and dealing with it never gets any easier. So instead he focuses on the now.
During the day they go for long slow walks on the beach, they read books together basking quietly in the sun, they watch movies cuddled up on the couch in the evening and they make love late at night with moonlight streaming through the open window. Being together with her feels almost too good to be true, and in some ways it is. In a span of two weeks he has learnt more about her than he thought possible. He has learnt that she likes to cuddle, she prefers to be the little spoon, she has a penchant for stealing food from his plate and she loves it when he calls her 'Melinda'. Every moment that they have together feels like a gift which he is extremely grateful for. Her smiles flow more freely and he can't help the way he looks at her with adoration in his eyes. She laughs and calls him a sap, but he truly believes that he is the luckiest man on Earth.
They fit so perfectly together, like two pieces that were always destined to be. Living together just seems so natural, like they've been doing it for years even though it's only been a matter of weeks. Without any planning or discussion, they just fall into a routine together, a result of spending decades side by side and knowing each other inside and out. It's so effortless and simple he sometimes wonders why they didn't do this earlier. Except traveling down that path achieves nothing so instead he focuses on the fact that he has Melinda in the here and now, beside him and loving him.
They haven't spoken about it again though, the 'L' word. Sometimes he wants to say it, thinks that he should, but then he think about how much more painful it might make things for Melinda. So instead he tells her how happy he is to have her with him, how much she means to him and how much he cares for her. Instead he kisses her to silence the words that burn white hot in his chest, begging to be vocalised and praying that she can read the words hidden within his kiss. She never says anything about it but sometimes he can see glints of the unshed tears in her eyes when they part, even when she smiles softly at him and runs a thumb gently across his cheek. It's moments like these, when everything is soft and still that he wishes things were different. That he had more than a shortened eternity to give her. But she never complains, and she never stops loving him.
His arms wrap around her securely as she presses in close to his chest, hands fisted in his shirt and head tucked beneath his chin. He swipes his thumb across her hip back and forth, gently lulling her into sleep with the soothing motion. Her soft even breaths blow warm against his chest that grows heavier by the second and he presses a loving kiss to her hair before his eyes slip shut, his last image of her peacefully asleep and safe in his arms.
A soft breeze blows in from the open window, slowly awakening her from sleep as it brushes over her skin. Turning over slowly she looks to her sleeping partner, face so serene and gentle.
"Phil," she calls softly as she rises from the bed. "Phil?" She calls again when he doesn't stir, a cold fear beginning to creep throughout her heart as he fails to wake. "Phil?" She almost pleads, a hand placed gently on his shoulder squeezing ever so slightly. "Phil?" She begs, tears in her voice as she feels nothing beneath her fingers on his neck - no steady beat of a pulse. "Phil," she whispers into the quiet of the morning, sobbing softly as tears spill down her cheeks. After two weeks of bittersweet bliss her heart breaks, shattered irreparably as she cries alone with the love her life gone from her side, leaving her with nothing more than memories of an eternity together that was cut too short.
A/N
I know I haven't posted a story in ages and thats the one I choose to make a comeback with. I actually hate myself. But if you could leave a comment and share your feelings I would love that so much :)
