This is a ONE-SHOT
We all stood morosely in black in the middle of the Rosewood Cemetery. Ella's eyes were raw and red from endless nights of crying. Byron looked as though he had aged forty years. I didn't know where Mike was but I was sure he was finding his own way to grieve. Hopefully that wouldn't involve breaking into another house. I just stood there. An empty vessel.
This was too inappropriately formal. It wasn't her. This wasn't how she would want it. She would have wanted vibrant, bright colors and people remembering her and celebrating her life. Not mourning her death in this macabre fashion. I knew this because I loved her.
To everyone else, I was just an English Professor who was a good friend of the family. But on the inside I was a man who had lost the love of his life. No one could know that though. No matter how much we had tried, now it was too late. Aria was gone. Because of me.
Flashback
"I'm leaving!" She screamed at Ezra with tears rippling down her cheeks in an unstoppable stream.
"Fine!" he had yelled back, just as much pain and hurt in his voice. He couldn't believe what was going on. Only half an hour ago Aria had come to Ezra's apartment to tell him something she had done. Something that was tearing her up inside. After a few drinks at his house, Jason and herself had slept together.
Ezra's world was torn apart the moment she had uttered that sentence. And instead of trying to move past it, Ezra lost it. She had been so vindictive about something that never happened between him and Jackie for so long, and now she wanted to be immediately forgiven for fucking another guy. Ezra loved her more than life. And that's why he couldn't forgive her. Because the fact he loved her so much made it hurt even more.
He had, instead, accused her of wanting it. "You were hanging around him for weeks, Aria. I should have known it was only a matter of time."
"Oh, fuck you!" Aria shrieked, grabbing her keys and jacket.
Ezra ran his fingers too roughly through his own hair, "Just leave, Aria. The sooner you get out of here, the sooner you can get it from Jason again right?"
Aria kept sobbing and stopped before slamming the door. Instead of saying anything, she ripped off the ring Ezra gave her several weeks ago, throwing it squarely at his chest. Then she was gone. Even though it was heavily raining, Ezra heard her tires screech out of the apartment complex's driveway.
The next morning on the way to work, Ezra would see the wreckage. The care had been wrapped around a tree and a coroners can was pulling away. Ezra's body went numb. He pulled over and threw up onto the sidewalk. This wasn't happening, it couldn't be happening. "What happened?" he tried to sound calm but he was failing. The Chief of Police gave him a questioning look. "I-I know this car." He stuttered out.
A saddening look passed over the Chief's face. "Son, the young woman driving this car died last night. We just found the car. She was sending someone a text when she slid on a patch of black ice and . . . well you can see what happened." He gestured to the wreck.
Ezra started hyperventilating and then burst into tears. Usually he would think before crying like a baby in front of the men but today was different. Just like that, the most important person in his life was gone. "Are you . . .E?" the officer asked. Ezra looked up and nodded. He was in Aria's phone as E so Aria's parents, or anyone else really, never realized it was him. The officer motioned to a deputy, who brought over Aria's phone.
On the screen was the beginning of a text.
E, you are the love of my life. I'm so sorry for what I did but I can't throw away everything we have. We can figure thi
Then it was cut off. That was when she dropped it, trying to cling the wheel. She died because she was trying to patch things up with him. He was the reason she wasn't paying attention. He was the reason that the most beautiful person ever would no longer grace this world.
End of Flashback
I gave my condolences to Byron and Ella and began my walk to the car as others departed. "Ezra!" Ella said and I turned around. She jogged up to me. "Aria . . . Aria really loved you. For s really long time, I think you may have been the most important person to her. And I know you were just her teacher but you were also a great friend to her." I smiled brokenly at her.
"Thank you, Ella." I said in a tight, constricted voice. Ella nodded and lightly squeezed my shoulder, then turned to return to Byron. I quickly turned on my car and drove off. I couldn't be here any longer than necessary.
I opened my door and walked over to my bed. Next to it was a picture of Aria and I. We looked so happy. And she looked so beautiful. I put down the picture and laid against the bed. I thought of Aria. Her beautiful smile. Her hair, her skin, her unique natural scent. I squeezed my eyes shut, envisioning her next to me. Wishing, really.
When I opened my eyes I saw big brown eyes smiling back at me. My throat tightened. I really wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I'd used all of my tears. I held my breath when all I really wanted to do was tell her everything.
"You're wearing my tie." She smiled. Her voice was so real it was painful. I nodded and couldn't help but smile.
"Where did you go? Why did you have to leave me?" I whispered.
Aria stroked my cheek with her pointer finger. It felt so real. "I didn't want to." She said. "But you know I am still with you."
I nodded. I didn't even want to blink. Even if this wasn't real I wanted to keep it. "I keep hoping I'll wake up. And this would al just be an awful nightmare." I breathed out shakily. Aria bit her lip. "It isn't fair." I continued.
"Life isn't fair." Aria said. I stared at her. "Sorry, that wasn't funny." She said. Suddenly we both started laughing.
"Aria, I'm so sorry. For all of the horrible things I-"
"Shh." She hushed me. I tried to put my hand on her leg but it fell through onto my mattress. She was still gone. Even in this beautiful moment of insanity, it didn't change that she was gone. "Whenever you need me . . . I'm here." She said.
"It's not the same." I shook my head, but my eyes didn't leave hers. I wouldn't let them.
"Ezra. I love you so much. And I know that you love me. But I need you to promise me something."
"Anything." I said, desperate to do whatever I could for her.
Aria smiled, "You need to go on. You need to meet someone that makes you happy. And You need to have a life. You can't mourn me forever."
I looked down, "I don't know if I'll ever meet someone who makes me as happy as you did."
"But you will. I promise. So will you promise me?" she took my hand and it felt so real. Her warmth. I could still feel it. I nodded.
"Every now and then . . . can I think of you, though?" I asked, my voice cracking. Aria laughed, "Of course." The lump in my throat was getting harder to ignore.
"I'll miss you." She said honestly.
"I'll miss you, too. I love you." I said. Knowing this was coming to an end.
Aria smiled, "I love you, too. Always?" It was a game we played. Whenever one of us left the other they said I love you followed by one of them saying always and the other saying forever.
I closed my eyes, feeling the wetness of new tears, and said, "Forever . . ." When I opened my eyes she was gone. But on the bed was the ring. I squeezed it gently. It wasn't Aria, but it was her gift.
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