A/N: Yes, it▓s season 4 of my SUEvivor series! Hogwarts.Or.Bust convinced me to do this one, so thank you! Anyway, it▓s true that Lost Mary Sues aren▓t a HUGE problem on this site, but trust me. Go to quizilla. com. It▓s got some crazy Sues. So, here we go! Please review!
CHALLENGE 1: QUESTIONS (just assume that all future seasons of SUEvivor will start out with this one)
Beach!Sue- Evey
Other!Sue- Moxie
Alex!Sue- Alex (duh)
Sister!Sue- Sarah
Flash-Back!Sue- Mariah
Daughter!Sue- Emily
Author!Sue- Jade S.
Taliy!Sue- Teresa
OMG! I▓m-On-Lost-Island!Sue - Amber
Random-Island-Girl!Sue- Natasha
Only one can be┘.The Ultimate Lost SUEvivor!!!
Somewhere over an ocean, a plane was flying.
In it, ten Mary Sues sat, each one prettier, tragic-er, and blonder than the first.
Some of them were looking out the window, deep in thought (or at least, trying to get a thought), while others listened to music or read a book to show how smart they were.
Evey looked up from here window. She wasn▓t having deep thoughts, she was admiring her reflection. She was blond with sparkling, ocean blue eyes.
⌠So, are we gonna fly to the island? Cause if we can, can▓t the rescue planes?■ she asked.
Mariah, who had long, strawberry blonde hair and sea green eyes, smacked Evey on the head. ⌠Was that an intelligent thought? What kind of Sue are you?! We don▓t do that!■
⌠Sorry, Mariah, I just wondered how we were getting there,■ Evey shrugged.
⌠Well, to answer your question,■ said a not-so-pretty flight attendant, ⌠we▓re going to crash the plane with you still on it.■
⌠WHAT?!■ shrieked all the Sues.
⌠Yeah, it▓s the only way to get to this island, unless you have a submarine. And the author of this fic kind of wants to see a plane full of Sues crash,■ the mere mortal explained.
⌠Oh, god! What▓s gonna happen to my hair?!■ Amber cried, clutching her shoulder length, ash blonde hair.
⌠No one cares about your hair, woman!■ Natasha screamed, shaking Amber. Natasha was one of the rare not-blond Sues. Instead her hair was a mysterious black and her eyes were silver!
⌠We▓re all gonna die,■ Jade S. said dully.
And┘.the plane crashed.
And all the Sues were hit in the head with suit cases at the same time.
XOXOXOXOXO
⌠Wwwwaaaake uuuuuupppp,■ a voice was saying.
They Sues were all laying on the beach, and they were all unconscious. Miraculously unharmed, though (too bad, I know.
Emily, who was smarter than most of the other Sues, worked out that the voice wanted them to wake up. She opened her violet eyes and stared up into the blue sky above her, trying to ignore the group of vultures circling her and the others.
Slowly, the other Sues were sitting up.
Teresa rubbed her forehead. ⌠Wow! Not even a scratch!■ She had her long blond hair in a pony tail and her brown eyes were always flashing, even for no reason. Think of her as a blond Ana Lucia.
Standing in front of the Sues was a girl who looked just like Jade S., only less incredible.
⌠Hello, Sues! Welcome to the 4th season of SUEvivor! I▓m your host, Jade H.!■ she said.
⌠As you may know, SUEvivor is the ONLY game show for Sues! You ten will live on this island for nine weeks, each week voting one of your fellow Sues off the island! By the ninth week, one of you will be named Ultimate Lost Mary Sue! Now, if you▓ll all just follow me┘■ Jade H. said.
⌠OMG!■ Amber said as she brushed sand off her incredibly tiny outfit. ⌠I can▓t believe I▓m on the Lost island! I hope I meet Sawyer, and Jack, and Boone, and Charlie!■ she babbled.
⌠Boone and Charlie are dead,■ Moxie pointed out. She had long, wavy brown hair and blue eyes. Evey already didn▓t like her, being an Other and all.
⌠Of course they▓re alive!■ Amber laughed. Then she looked evil and grabbed Moxie by the front of her tiny shirt. ⌠They-are-alive-damn you!■
⌠Hey! Knock it off, or I swear to God, I will beat the HELL out of you SO much!■ Teresa snarled. She looked around at the stunned Sues. ⌠What are you looking at? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!?!?!?■
After a moment of shocked silence, the Sues reached the place Jade H. had disappeared to: A spot on the beach where ten tents had been set up.
⌠Here we are! This is where you▓ll stay for the next few weeks. And over at the caves we▓ll do the challenges. I▓ll let you guys get settled in and then I▓ll send you a message when it▓s time for your challenge,■ Jade H. said, walking off.
⌠T-this is where we▓ll stay?■ Sarah asked, looking at the tents which were made out of blues tarps.
⌠Yep. It▓s just like the second season of SUEvivor when we all had to live on a ship,■ Jade S. said, walking into her tent.
In side, a poofy pink sleeping bag had been laid out for her.
Bean bags (also in pink) where set up around the tent for in case she had visitors.
A large mirror was in one corner and right next to it was a trunk packed full of all her tiny clothes.
Jade S. looked through it until she found a blue t-shirt so tight fitting it looked like it was cutting off the blood circulation to her brain.
Then she put on an equally tight fitting pair of jeans and was ready to go.
Teresa was back on the beach, smoking a cigarette.
She was wearing cut offs and a t-shirt that was tied up on her stomach.
Teresa glared at Jade S., who smiled back.
⌠Look, weirdo,■ Teresa said. ⌠Don▓t mess with me, and I won▓t mess with you.■ Jade S. rolled her eyes.
Soon the other Sues were finished unpacking and had come back to the beach to talk.
Amber, who was wearing a tiny mini-skirt and tube top, kept pointing at things and screaming, ⌠LOOK! IT▓S JUST LIKE THE ONE ON LOST!■
Suddenly, Natasha was hit in the head with a rock.
⌠WHAT THE (&$?!?!?■ she screamed, picking up the rock, which had a note tied to it.
⌠Look, it▓s the instructions for our next challenge,■ Natasha said, opening the note.
⌠Why is it written on a banana leaf?■ Sarah asked.
⌠I dunno. It says to go to the caves for our first challenge,■ Natasha read.
All the Sues trekked through the jungle to the caves.
XOXOXOXOXO
For some reason, it was suddenly night time.
Torches had been light all around the caves and Jade H. was waiting for them, along with four other people┘
⌠SAWYER!■ ⌠JACK!■ ⌠BOONE!■ ⌠CHARLIE!■
All the Sues screamed and swarmed up to the hot guys.
⌠OK, seriously, Sues, these are your judges, lets not maul them yet,■ Jade H. said, standing over the frenzy of Sues and Hotties. After a few minutes, some people who worked on the show managed to pull the Sues off of the poor little guys.
Sawyer glared at Jade H. ⌠No one ever told me there would be Sues involved!■
⌠True, we left that out. But the producers just said you▓d be judging a lot of hot women; it▓s not our fault if you didn▓t figure out they▓d be Sues. Anyway, on to the challenge.
Like the past three seasons of SUEvivor, the first challenge will be the Sueish question challenge. The judges will ask you a question and you, Sues, will have to respond in the most Sueish way possible. The most Sueish answer wins! Start now!■
⌠I▓LL go first,■ Jack said, pushing the other judges out of the way. ⌠Ahem. Evey. As a Beach!Sue, what do you do all day?■
⌠Well, I usually force myself into all major events on the island, insist of being the center of attention, seduce my author▓s favorite hottie, and angst about all the tragedy in my life,■ Evey explained, batting her unnaturally long eye lashes.
⌠Great. Moxie? As one of the Others, how would you convince us of your loyalties?■ Charlie asked, reading the questions from a piece of paper.
⌠Oh, I angst about being an out cast and how no one loves me and you all just believe I▓m good to shut me up,■ Moxie shrugged. ⌠It helps that I▓m super pretty, too.■
⌠Mmm hmm┘Uh, Alex. During the being of Lost, no one really knew who Alex was, so people started writing fics about her and you were the result. Now that we know who she is, how will you stay around?■ Boone asked her.
⌠I have my people kill off the real Alex and I take her place,■ Alex said without even hesitating. Every thing was so quiet you could hear crickets.
⌠Oh┘Kay┘Sarah? You▓re a Sister!Sue, but whose sister are you?■ Sawyer asked.
⌠I▓m yours and Jack▓s. Surprisingly there are no Sister!Sues for anyone else,■ Sarah said. ⌠Also, there▓s often a really big age gap between us cause I▓m sometimes like, 13 or 12, and our parents died when you were 8, so it often doesn▓t work.■
⌠Right, well, Mariah? Is it harder being a Flash-Back!Sue compared to a normal, up front Sue?■ Jack asked.
⌠No really. If I▓m a Flash-Back!Sue, I don▓t have to deal with all that island-y-ness. I can drive, listen to music, or be that mysterious girl Sawyer meets in a bar,■ Mariah told them.
⌠OK, and Jade S.? What do you do about the fact that you▓re actually a happy person and have nothing to angst about?■ Charlie asked.
⌠I guess I just don▓t angst,■ Jade S. said, but then she noticed the looks the other Sues were giving her and changed her answer. ⌠I mean, I just angst about the fact I have nothing to angst about┘■
⌠Oh, OK then,■ said Boone. ⌠Emily. What▓s life like as a Daughter!Sue?■
⌠It▓s easy, I just have too many fluff scenes between me and Sawyer and Jack,■ Emily said.
Sawyer and Jack froze. ⌠W-why both of us?■
⌠Oh, have I not told you? I▓m your daughter. Both of yours. I▓m your fault,■ Emily said. Sawyer and Jack ran off to throw up.
Sawyer stopped long enough to read the next question. ⌠Teresa. How are you different from Ana Lucia?■
⌠Please. I▓d kick that pansy▓s ass,■ said Teresa in a board tone.
⌠Amber? How exactly did you get on the island?■ Jack asked.
⌠OMG! It was like this, like, giant lightning storm! It hit my TV while I was watching Lost and ZAP! I was on the island!!! But my friends were also there┘Don▓t know where they went┘■ Amber said, looking around the caves as if she expected to see them.
⌠Kay, last but not least, Natasha. Explain to us just what a Random-Island-Girl!Sue does,■ asked Charlie.
⌠I was on the island for a long time, but I▓m not one of the Others. I just walk around looking cool,■ said Natasha, looking mysterious.
⌠OK, now we▓ll check your answers and see who wins immunity,■ Boone said. The judges leaned over their clip boards, muttering as dramatic music played.
After several minutes of talking, Jack looked up. ⌠I-I mean WE have decided. The winner tonight is┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘┘...Sarah, for using such brilliant Sue logic!■
⌠Yay!■ said Sarah.
⌠And now for the voting ceremony,■ said Jade H. as she picked up a hollowed out coconut.
⌠Sarah, since you won immunity, you go first. Please write down the name of whoever you want voted out on a banana leaf and put it in here.■
Sarah wrote down a name and the other Sues followed.
Soon they had all gone and Jade H. picked up the coconut.
⌠First vote, Moxie. Next vote, Alex. Moxie. Alex. Two votes Moxie, two votes Alex. Mariah. Teresa. Teresa. Alex. Teresa. Emily. And the first person voted off of SUEvivor: Lost is┘..■
TWENTY MINUTES LATER.
⌠┘.Alex.■
⌠WHAT?! NO!■ Alex screamed. Security dragged her away from the island.
Jade H. turned back to the Sues. ⌠I▓ll see you ladies next week for your next challenge!■
END OF CHALLENGE 1.
NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: The Mary Sue▓s tragic-ness is challenged next week and Amber▓s friends may pop up.
A/N: OK, any resemblance to real OC▓s is NOT intentional and I▓m not calling your OC a Sue. Please review!
