A/N: This story is written by my best friend, I'm allowed to post it here but all credits go to her, thanks if you're going to read this and please please leave a review, we would both really like that :) we'll reply always!

That Teen Slut

I was 15 years old, it was summer and it was mine and my boyfriend's one month anniversary, oh how I loved him. We had known each other since the start of high school, I liked him the first time I saw him but never had the courage to ask him out. Then on a sunny day when we were at the park he asked me, it was the happiest day of my life. I stayed up late at night texting him it was like I was the luckiest girl in the whole world. I would save all his texts and read them over and over I didn't seem to get bored of it; 'hey baby what you up to text back love you xxx' my heart raced every time the text tone signaled. We were happy and spent a lot of time together on a night he would walk me home from school and then walk to his house, texting me all the way home, telling me he missed me when he was only at the corner of the street. Liam made me feel good about myself my friends told me I loved him too much and I would get hurt if I didn't let him loose a little, I didn't listen to them, what did they know?. One weekend Liam treated me to the cinemas he paid and bought popcorn and the whole works I just smiled showing off my wonderful boyfriend to the girls around me, I was going to spend my life with my prince charming; my fairytale had come true.

When the month anniversary came me and Liam were still as strong as ever, spending as much time together as we could he told me he loved me dozens of times a day, he started hinting that he wanted to take our relationship to the next level, we hadn't done 'stuff' or anything sexually related so he was constantly hinting about how he loves me and how he wanted to stay with me forever...and me, being who I was I… believed him. I thought that life was perfect and that nobody or nothing was going to come between us.

My parents went away for the weekend leaving me at my Grans but little did they know I had, had a spare key cut for my house, we had it all planned out Liam and me. I was going to tell my Gran I was sleeping at Bethany's, Gran didn't know her number so all she had to do was believe me; I was her blue-eyed girl and she thought that I was so innocent and perfect. Then we would both go to mine, take our relationship to the next level and then I would go to my Grans in the morning, no-one would ever find out! The perfect plan...well that's what I thought anyway... My Gran was really happy for me; that me and Liam had been going out for a month she thought it was 'cute' and she was always going on about, don't grow up too fast, don't go getting yourself pregnant, I mean its not likely I am 15 years old I aren't going to grow any faster and I defiantly wasn't having a baby, it wouldn't happen to me and Liam. So anyway, Saturday, I had stayed at my Grans on Friday when mom and dad left to the lakes, My Gran dropped me off around 5:30pm at Beth's on Saturday, she said I had to be back for 11am in the morning because she wanted me to help her with the Sunday roast, so I agreed, I waited until my Gran left the street and started the four block walk to my house.

When I finally got to my house it was around 6:00pm, Liam was already there waiting for me at the door, I smiled at him, I was nervous but excited I thought in my mind that I new what I wanted. We went into the house and just hung out, I made pasta with tomato sauce for dinner with candles and it was really romantic. He complimented my cooking skills and seemed to be really enjoying himself. Then after I had put the washing in the dishwasher and cleaned up, we watched Hannibal in the living room, cuddled up on the sofa, when it got to around 9:00pm it was already dark. Liam turned to me, smiled and then slowly moved in towards me, he started kissing me; I loved this about Liam that he was such a good kisser. This carried on for a few minutes, but then he did something he had never done before. Liam started unbuttoning my shirt, I felt uncomfortable. He gestured for me to go up to the bedroom; I looked up at him... I didn't want to look like a jerk so I followed him up into my parents' room. He laid me down on the bed and he started undressing himself, he took out a condom from his wallet and bit it open. Before I knew it we were doing it, the thing I had only known about in sex education, the thing that we laughed about when it was brought up the word 'sex' to me had always been alien and discomforting you would never talk to people about it. I was uncomfortable, I wasn't ready and the first thing I did after was regret it, Liam fell asleep after kissing me softly and cuddling up to me. I couldn't sleep all night, my heart was full of regret, things going through my mind like 'what if my mum found out' but I just let them pass, trying to comfort myself. I got up around 5:30am getting a shower, I had bled allot, having it been my first time but I just got dressed and got myself sorted out, telling myself it would all work out. Liam left at 10:00am kissing me goodbye, telling me he loves me, I just smiled and replied 'you too…' it felt like he looked at me in a different way. On the way home I felt dirty I felt everyone knew and was staring at me. However everything went perfect and I was back at my Grans in time to help her with lunch.

Liam was really off with me the following Monday and after a month he had almost told the whole entire school that I had, had sex with him, we broke up and he constantly called me a 'slut'. I felt so down, I was heart broken, I just told Mum, Dad and Gran that he just broke up with me and I didn't have a clue why. I had Bethany supporting me, even if I had lost all my other mates. I hadn't been on my period for a month and a half, I thought this was quite strange as normally I have them at regular intervals but this time it didn't seem that way. I didn't say anything hoping that I would just be late because of losing my virginity. Months went passed, all my friends were my friends again at school and I had pretty much forgotten about 'the thing' My parents hadn't found out and nobody new the truth except Bethany my best friend in the world, we could tell each other anything without feeling that the other person is judging, so naturally I brought up that I had missed a period and the first thing she said was ''Jo...What if your pregnant?'' I just looked at her assuring myself, telling myself I couldn't be pregnant it was my first time; you can't get pregnant on your first time. So she said not to worry and we both carried on as normal. I didn't feel sick in a morning, which assured me even more, I thought that not having morning sickness meant not having a baby. Oh how wrong I was, months went by and my period didn't come after 5 months I had put on weight and my belly was showing, I took the test at Beths house and surprise surprise I was pregnant. My heart sank as the two blue lines appeared, I checked the instructions again in disbelief '2 blue lines and there are signs of a baby present' I sat with my back against the bathroom wall sobbing. Beth heard me and came in realizing what had happened she took the test from my hand seeing the 2 lines for her self, she took me in her arms trying to comfort me telling me it was going to be ok. She told me she would always be there for me.

It was too late for an abortion, it seemed that the nightmare I once thought would stay a nightmare came true, Beth told me she would support me and promised not to say anything to anyone until I was ready. Beth and I stayed up late that night talking about all of the things we could do, run away and we take care of the baby ourselves? But we didn't have no money, I thought to myself and then I text Liam telling him that I was pregnant hoping that he would come back and support me, we could be a family but it didn't work that way; he denied having sex with me and said that it was probably someone else's because I was such a slut. I broke down into tears, how could somebody I loved for a short but long time say something that would hurt me so much? Beth just tried to support me as much as she could, telling me I didn't need him in my life but I thought different. I couldn't help my feelings, I loved him and knowing I was carrying his baby made it a whole lot worse.

The day came when my clothes were getting far too tight and my bulge just kept getting bigger. I remember at 6 months I was stood looking in the mirror, my top lifted up slightly, my hands making a circling motion on the bump, my mum walked in, she just stood in the doorway looked at me like I had failed her as a daughter, all she said to me was ''your pregnant aren't you?'' I stood and nodded, not knowing what else to do. Later naturally my mum wanted to know the whole story I told her, her reaction was that I needed to grow up and stop acting like a child, she was disappointed and hurt that I had lied to her, she told my father and he seemed to take it ok he didn't speak much about it but he didn't once yell at me or even say a bad word about me he then started acting strange, I found powdery substances on the tables, bags of herbs on the counters, I then found out he was on drugs.. Mum took me to the doctors the next day who referred me to the hospital for a very late first scan, my mum refused to come with me into the scan room, so Beth came along there on the screen I saw my very healthy baby boy, tears came to my eyes and for once throughout my whole pregnancy I smiled, I felt happy that I could call this beautiful being inside me 'mine'... a part of Liam that I would always have, my own mini prince charming.

I went back to school to the same as before, everywhere I turn there is someone in my face calling me a slut or a hoe, Liam kept well away realizing that he was the father, he knew if his parents found out they would murder him. So I spoke to him via text message and we agreed that he wasn't going to have any contact with the baby or with me, I just prayed that once the baby was here everything would change, I thought the baby was the answer to all my problems. It had sunk into him that he was going to be a father, some how I could see it in his eyes that he still felt something for me even if he didn't want to. I went to the government and was put on young parent benefits, Beth and I went out and bought loads of new clothes for the baby and I would always be round at hers talking about baby names and how Beth would be his second mother.

When I was 8 ½ months I was constantly at home, the school thought it would be better for me and the baby if I got all the rest I could. Mum went into a stage of depression she started drinking heavily, kept telling me how much of a failure I was to her and the family. My father just sat there always in a world of his own, not saying a word, his eyes bloodshot and his pupils hardly visible, he was that high on the drugs I doubt half of the time he even remembered the arguments. It was one afternoon that sticks in my mind the most; my mother came into the room stumbling all over the place, I could tell she was drunk like normal she started shouting at me, then tried to punch my stomach shouting 'bitch, slag, hoe, slut' and name a person could think of, until she finally threw me out, I was heart broken; the things my own mother had said to me couldn't be forgiven and I couldn't believe that my own father was taking drugs although I had know a while it didn't sink in, it didn't seem real. She threw out my clothes from my room, the rain was pouring and all of my things got soaked, I stood outside on the corner of the street. I took my mobile out of my pocket dialing Beth's number, she answered I just burst into tears, I couldn't talk all I could manage to say was 'mum threw me out'' then said she would be right over. I saw her come around the corner in the car around 3 minutes later, she rushed out of the car grabbing me in her arms, I felt safe with her. We got to Beth's and I explained what had happened, it wasn't the first time I had arguments with mum but none were as bad as this. Beth gave me a shoulder to cry on and Luckily Beth's mum Jane was a single teen mum and they had a spare room in the house available which she aloud me to stay in, rent free. I did odd jobs around the house but most of the time she just told me to relax, and that I needed to take care of the baby. All three of us decorated the spare room a baby blue colour, separating the room in half putting an 'ABC' banner around the nursery half. The money from the government paid for most of the things I needed, I got the crib, the pushchair and all of the other necessities, Jane then put towards the other things such as the baby bath and the extra clothes. I let her know how much I appreciated it and we got on really well, it felt like I could talk to her because she knew how I felt and what I needed.

I went past full term and a week later I went into labour I gave birth naturally with Beth by my side, it meant the world to me, her being there. After four hours of labour along came a very big Elliot Cameron weighing 9lb 1oz. the midwife handed him to me, I smiled a little Elliot looked up at me with his big blue eyes, his blonde hair soft with small curls, I looked up at Beth who had the biggest grin on her face. I handed him to her, she cuddled him close, and she looked so caring and happy to see him. I stayed in hospital for two days, Jane called my mother, but she wasn't interested and didn't want anything to do with her innocent grandson. I don't even know if she told my father.

The four of us arrived back at Beth's, I had mail I sat on the chair while Beth was nursing Elliot the letter explained that My father had committed suicide the day before I had given birth to Elliot, through an overdose of cocaine the letter was written by my mother and she further explained that my family blamed it on me my Gran didn't want anything to do with me and neither did anyone else. I got up with tears in my eyes and called my mother, my Gran answered to find out that they had already had my father's funeral and that my mother had gone into rehabilitation. I was gutted the guilt started in my mind, although Beth reassured me all the time that it wasn't my fault and that my father had been taking drugs before he even found out about me being pregnant so how could it of been my fault?. I put it to the back of my mind, I needed to concentrate, to make something of my life, if not for me but for Elliot's sake

They call me a slag, a hoe, a slut...
I call myself a mother who made one mistake

I walk down the street pushing Elliot in his pushchair Beth walking beside me, I feel like everyone is looking at me like I am immature and worthless Beth tells me to just ignore it and let it go over my head but its getting to me right now. Elliot doesn't sleep very good and with Beth starting a new term at school I have been up with Elliot all hours through the night, on a good night I get around 4 hours sleep which means I am cranky with Beth and Jane during the day. My families comments towards me were keeping me up, they made me feel worthless. Elliot has been home 8 days; I haven't had any visitors from the whole of my school, not even Elliot's own father even bothered to send a card. I was really down but didn't let anybody know.

Its 2am I sit looking down at Elliot suckling on his bottle so peaceful, tears come to my eye I didn't want him to be mine. I didn't tell anyone about this I felt like they would think I was a failure as a mother so I just kept it to myself and slowly it got worse. I knew something was really wrong when Elliot was 14 days old, it was 4:30am and I hadn't had any sleep for over a week, I was really cranky and had been crying all night, Jane and Beth were sleeping soundly and I was up with this baby that I didn't even want. I got up out of my bed walking to his crib, he just laid there screaming, it rang in my head like an alarm clock that wouldn't shut off. I grabbed a pillow putting it over his face. The crying worsened as I put more and more pressure on the pillow I fell to the floor locking my arms around my legs rocking myself backwards and forwards. Elliott's cry was loud and discomforting; all I could say is 'what is happening to me?'

I went for a walk the next morning taking a stroll into town, Elliot with me in the sling. People stared and asked me if he was mine and then they would be totally shocked when I told them he was. I was so tempted to say he was my brother or my cousin if only it was true. I walked through the shopping mall, stood outside the game shop was Liam and his friends, Callum walked over, cooing over Elliot and asking how I was but Liam just stayed away looking at me like I was a total stranger. Later that night when Elliot was finally sleeping, I text Liam letting him know that everything was okay with the baby and that if he ever changed his mind I would always allow him to see his son. I waited watching my mobile, hours went by and there was no answer. Tears ran down my cheeks although I already knew this was going to happen somewhere in my heart I believed that he wanted to see his son.

Staying in the house everyday while Jane was at work and Beth was at school was stressful, when you have nobody to talk to and nothing to do but housework and feeding the baby and changing the baby. It gets to you after a while, some days I would just leave Elliot to cry, sometimes put him in the bedroom and shut the door, playing my music to drone out his cry. I felt like I was a bad mother and a voice in my head was telling me how much of a failure I was. I looked in the mirror, there were huge bags under my eyes, my hair was a mess and I looked awful, I felt like my life had no reason and that all I had left was this baby that I didn't even want. I pulled myself together before Beth got home. she was going to a sweet 16th birthday party for one of the girls at school, I helped her get ready and waved her off, but I couldn't help thinking 'that should be me, I will never be able to any of that my life is ruined'' and because I blamed myself for so long I started to blame Elliot and the feelings of hatred took over me.

As the hatred grew I knew more and more that I didn't want Elliot in my life, he was just a constant reminder that I was a failure and that I couldn't do anything right, I couldn't see that I had a beautiful healthy son all I saw was a baby made with no love or care. Beth played with Elliot happily he even smiled at her she deserved him more than I did how I could bring up a baby feeling like this. I started taking depression pills that I got from the doctor I just told her I felt down because of Liam so she told me these would help. After taking the pill's for a week nothing was happening so I took double the dose which made me relax a bit more, I took three pills three times a day which was way over the recommended amount of one pill three times a day. I didn't care I just kept taking them making myself feel better. Nobody noticed as I fell deeper and deeper into depression and hatred.

I stayed up all night with Elliot yet again feeding him and changing him and soothing him then feeding him and changing him again the process just went round in circles all night. I was fed up I wanted out of this mess but I didn't know how. He wasn't a bad baby but I couldn't help thinking the way I did.

Spring bank arrived and Elliot was 9 weeks old, Jane and Beth were going away to a caravan for the weekend, Jane said they needed some mother-daughter bonding time so I agreed to stay at home with the baby. Beth said goodbye to Elliot and I, before she left she told Elliot she was going to miss him and how much she loved him, he cooed, smiling at her cheekily. She said the same to me and then I waved her off, watching as the car turned off at the end of the street. I carried Elliot inside placing him in his bouncer chair, he lay there quietly for a while I had chance to eat some lunch and tidy up a bit. I sat down to watch Jeremy Kyle and Elliot started crying, I pulled his chair closer softly bouncing him with my foot trying to soothe him Beth would of picked him up and cradled him in her arms but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to even try, minutes felt like hours he wouldn't settle the bouncing got harder, and harder and harder. The crying got louder and louder and louder I slammed my feet on the floor screaming 'shut the fuck up' in his face. He looked at me in shock and then his bottom lip wobbled and he screamed back at me in fear and distress. I picked up the bouncer chair with Elliot inside it, carrying it up into my room and putting him in the crib I walked out shutting the door behind me. I got downstairs and just fell apart I hated myself and I hated Elliot. I walked into the kitchen, grabbing a sharp butchers knife out of the top drawer, I pressed it against my wrist, putting more and more pressure on it, the sting went through me the adrenaline rush comforted me as I sliced the knife fast across my wrist the blood flooded out covering the tea towel and the whole of the sink. After a few minutes the adrenaline had gone and I was in pain my wrist was shredded and a mess, I wrapped it in a band-aid and the proceeded to clear up the mess that represented my life.

After hours went by I walked up to the bedroom, Elliot was laying in the crib he had cried himself to sleep with fear he still had a single tear drop on his cheek and his blonde hair was damp from the stress and discomfort. I asked myself how I could do this to such an innocent little thing that hadn't done anything wrong. It was so easy to look at the situation differently when Elliot was asleep, how could I see the good things when he was screaming his little head off. I decided to get some rest, so I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes. it felt like minutes later the crying started again I just lay motionless on the bed, the tension building up inside me as he cried, I could feel tears building up in my eyes and slithering slowly down my face. I got up in a rage grabbing my pillow from below me and pushing up against Elliott's face, I pushed it a lot harder than before.

I screamed 'shut up, shut up' at the top of my voice as I pushed with a strong force against the babies face. Suddenly the crying stopped, I slowly took my hands away from the pillow, raising my hand to my mouth 'what have I done' I said to myself. I pulled away the cushion and revealed Elliot his face already starting to show bruising, and his body lay limp and motionless the rise of his stomach had gone and the soft sound of his breath had disappeared. I looked up seeing myself in the mirror I had just killed my baby boy. I picked up a shoe which was next to my foot on the floor and smashed it against the mirror, slamming it harder and harder until all my energy was lost and my legs gave way, I fell to the floor crying hysterically all I wanted was my mummy, I wanted the safety of my mothers arms, the feeling of when I was little and my mother comforting me when I had scraped my knee. I wanted that feeling to be with me now. But if she knew what I had done she would hate me even more, my best friend was going to hate me and so was Jane. I had nobody, nobody in my life that cared enough to even ask how I was feeling.

I grabbed my belt which was in my bottom drawer and I slid it around my throat, making it tighter and tighter, putting myself through the same pain I had just put Elliot. My reflection on the broken glass disgusted me, I picked up a sharp piece of the mirror slashing my face with it and slitting my wrists.

The phone rang, and rang, and rang no answer. The mobile rang 'Beth mobile' flashed on the screen, Beth turned to her mum 'she isn't answering' she said to her mum looked up worried, Jo always answered her phone. They looked at each other and both agreed they had to go home and check on Jo and Elliot. After travelling the two hour journey back home Beth rushed into the house which was unlocked, she shouted 'Jo?' but there was no reply, the pushchair was where they had left it and the sling was lying on the dining room table. Jane rushed upstairs, into Jo's room, seeing the blood and devastation that covered the room. Beth followed behind, her eyes widening, she rushed to Elliot tears filling up in her eyes realising he was dead. Jane picked out her mobile from her pocket calling an ambulance, she checked Jo's pulse which was there but faint, unlike Elliot who lay in the same position motionless and blue. Beth grabbed Elliot's blanket wrapping it around him before taking him into her arms, she burst into tears as his arm flopped like a doll and the response was gone. She would never see his little smile, the coos he gave when she spoke to him; she just sat in the rocking chair cradling him in her arms.

The police and ambulance arrived shortly after, rushing Jo to the A&E, Jane went with her Beth couldn't bare to leave El he was like a son to her, she would wait all day and rush home from school just to see him smile, her phone background was a beautiful picture Jo had taken of her Beth and Elliot, Elliot with a huge smile on his face cuddling up to a happy Beth. She just sat cradling the body in her arms not saying a word. The crime scene investigators inspected the area and the body and ruled it as homicide, Beth looked up in disbelief, her best friend had killed her baby boy.

After cradling the body for an hour the ambulance had to take the body to the morgue Beth pleaded with them she couldn't bare the thought of him in a morgue with all of the other bodies, he didn't deserve this. She eventually gave up and went to the hospital to meet her mother. Jo was in the ICU, hooked up to loads of wires and a heart monitor. Beth's mother took her in her arms comforting her as much as she could, they were both heart broken, and they had lost someone who was so special to them. Beth kept asking 'why? Why would she do this to him?' she couldn't slightly understand how anyone could hurt such a harmless being.

I woke up looking around me, this place wasn't familiar. Beth and Jane were sat at either side of me, flash backs of Elliot's limp body haunted my mind. Beth looked at me, heartbroken and betrayed, tears layered her eyes, she looked me in the eye 'why Jo? Why did you kill him?' I just looked up at her the tears streaming down her cheeks, I shrugged. She got angry 'shrugging isn't god enough you evil bitch how could you take him away from me…I will never forgive you, you bitch…' Jane stood up pulling her outside Beth screamed 'you bitch, you evil bitch' as she was dragged out of the door. I burst into tears, it was real, I had killed him, I didn't deserve to live. I looked down at myself, my wrists were bandaged and I needed a tube to help me breath because I hadn't tightened the belt so tight around my neck. Hours went by, neither Jane nor Beth returned I just sat alone watching time go by so slowly, I fell asleep.

Around 9:00am I was woken by the door creaking open; two police officers walked into the room, Miss Maatman we would like you to answer a few questions…I just nodded I was so scared, my heart raced. 'what happened to your 9 week old baby boy Jo?' tears filled my eyes, I just sat numb not saying a word I dazed out of the window blacking out the things around me; the police officers, the beeping of the monitors. I didn't speak a word to anyone, instead I kept it inside me as it slowly ate away at me, I wouldn't speak to nobody, sometimes I would quietly speak to myself and often my father would come and visit, but most of the time I just sat, day-dreaming of a world where everything was perfect.

Jo was referred to a psychiatric unit at a special hospital, Jane and Beth arranged the funeral and burial of

Elliot Cameron Maatman
1st June 2007-3rd July
Just 9 weeks old

The funeral started, all of Jo's family attended but Jo was too sick, even Liam attended the church was full; All of them in mourning from the loss of this precious baby boy. The vicar stood at the altar the tiny white coffin with silver handles and decorated with blue bows in the centre. The tiny box was enough to start anybody crying, the portrait of Beth and Elliot was blown up onto a white marble head stone it read;

Elliot Cameron Maatman
01/06/07 - 03/07/07

Your smiled filled my heart with love
And your laugh made me smile
Don't worry my sweet baby boy
We will be together again in a while
God will keep you safe until then
And soon you will see
Mommy didn't mean to hurt you
But now you are free

All our love sweet dreams our little soldier

Grandma Jane and Auntie Beth

The story was all over the news, websites and memorial sites were made all over the country in memory of this little boy, Liam although he was didn't really get to know his son was devastated, he regretted that he never got to hold him, never saw his smile, never even got to tell him that he was his daddy. To make up for that he visited the grave every other day, bringing fresh flowers and often soft cuddly bears, he would sit and mourn for ours each day, full of regret. Jane visited the grave once a week on a Sunday, but Beth visited every day, rain or shine. He was her precious boy, without him it felt like something was always missing.

When Jane and Beth moved back into the house the forensics had already cleaned up the mess, Beth insisted that they should keep Elliot's things in place, as a memory, she didn't ever want to forget. Jo stayed in the hospital, Beth couldn't manage to pluck up the courage to go and visit, she couldn't ever forgive her because she had taken so much away from her that had meant so much, she knew about the depression after the doctors had diagnosed her, but this wasn't going to break the ice between them.

Beth went on to pass her GCSE's and is currently at university studying to become a psychologist, Jo had made her realise she wanted to know more about how people think and how things can change because of feelings and also what people say. She still visits the grave as often as she can and she still has the background on her phone of the little boy whose childhood was stolen because his mother was too conscious to admit she needed help.

'Sometimes it's the little things that take the most room in your heart'

The End

A/N: As you might have noticed, my last name is used in the story, really would like to thanks Jo again for doing so ;) haven't asked it, but she did it even so :D thanks hun! You're an amazing writer and can't wait to read more of you! Lovee Daph xox Peace Out! xox