Updated: 2/16/10 - Thanks to dtav for her beta skills, this has been corrected! =) See A/N at the end!
Title: Someday
Author: JessDS
The Pairing: Bella/Paul
The Song: Someday by Rob Thomas
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own anything...
You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you wanna do is cry
And maybe someday we'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now that
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow, someday
~*~ Someday ~*~
He left me, he's gone, he's really gone and he's not coming back. I always knew I wasn't good enough for him, that he would eventually grow bored with me and leave. Whenever I would voice my doubts to him, he would always be quick to try and reassure me that it wouldn't happen and he would never leave me, but in the end - he did just that.
It's been almost five months since he left me that day in the woods, but it still hurts like it was only yesterday. I don't remember much of these last months or even how I got through them, but somehow I must have. Charlie threatened to send me back to live with Rene, so I need to start "living" again, whatever that means. How am I supposed to do that, when I'm not sure I know how to when my other half is missing. He was my life, my soul, my soul mate, my other half and now he's gone.
So to start out easy on myself, I decided to ask Jessica if she wanted to catch a movie or something – big mistake! That turned out absolutely horrible and she will not even talk to me, not that I really care, but still. Then I started hanging out with Jake and I really like the time I spend with him. I don't actually know how to explain it, but when I am with him he makes me sort of feel whole again, not so broken, but still broken some. My days are a little happier when I spend them with Jacob but my nights are still the same.
Every night the same dream haunts me, always with me running in the forest, chasing after something I can't see and that I can never find, always filled with a sense of terrifying fear and something else I don't quite know how to explain. Since I started hanging out with Jacob, I've noticed they've changed a little. I'm still running in the forest, chasing something, but I feel as if someone or something is watching me, following me and for some reason, I almost feel a little safer and not so scared.
I'm not sure what's going on with Jake lately. Since we went to the movies, he's been constantly avoiding my calls and hasn't even come over. Billy said he was sick at first, now when I call, he just tells me Jake is out with his friends or they don't even bother to pick up the phone. I don't know why he's blowing me off, I didn't do anything wrong for him to treat me like this, but I'm going to find out what his problem is today!
As I pulled in front of the Black's house, I noticed that the window curtain moved slightly, so I know someone has to be home at least, even if it's not Jake. I'm walking up the steps when the front door is opened, revealing that Billy is the person home, and he doesn't look too pleased to see me either.
"Bella, what are you doing here?" It's good to see you, too, Billy. What a nice welcome.
"Hey Billy, I was just stopping by to see Jake, is he around?"
"No, he's out. I'll be sure to tell him you stopped by."
"Well, do you know when he might be back? I can just wait around, I don't have anything else to do and Charlie knows I was coming down to see Ja…" Billy interrupted before I could finish and didn't sound all too happy about the idea of me hanging around to wait for Jake.
"No Bella, you should go. I will tell Jacob you were here and…" Now I didn't give him a chance to finish. He totally pissed me off and I was sure to let him know exactly that!
"Billy, lately, for some reason, you have been acting weird toward me and I really don't know why and frankly, I am at a point that I just don't care. But right now I really need to see my best friend and if you don't like it, that's just too damn bad because I'm not leaving." I could feel the angry tears building and I was fighting hard not to let them fall. Billy just sat in the door with a shocked expression on his face throughout my little rant. I turned to walk back to my truck but look back at him to say, "I'll be waiting in my truck."
Billy gave a small nod of his head in acknowledgment but didn't say anything as I walked off the porch, toward my truck. I climbed in and watched as Billy shut the door. Not really having anything to do as I waited, I started to look around at my surroundings.
While taking everything in, I sat thinking about everything. I've really been missing Jacob the last few days and that wasn't helping me to get back to feeling better since he left. Everything has just really been stressing me out. I hadn't really meant to be so rude to Billy but he was really upsetting me and I just snapped at him. Truthfully, I really should apologize to him, but that's not going to be happening today.
After about twenty minutes, I was bored out of my mind and leaned my head back against the seat, closing my eyes. Thinking I should have really planned this out better and at least brought something with me to keep me occupied, I was interrupted by a loud pounding on the passenger side window. Startled at the sound, I jumped, causing me to hit my knee on the steering wheel. "Fuck." I looked toward the window to see a very livid looking Jacob.
"You should have listened to my father and left. You shouldn't be here." I could only look at him with what I would assume a confused look on my face. What did I ever do to him to make him this mad at me? We were fine the last time we hung out together and he started getting sick.
"W-what?" I couldn't manage to get anything else to come out. His words hurt so much more than they should. I shouldn't be here…what did that mean? Did he not want me either? Jacob turned to walk away and I shot out of the truck running after him, not caring that my knee was killing me or that I tripped over air about five times. "Jake, wait!" He was just reaching the tree line when he stopped and looked back at me. Something flashed across his face quickly before he looked angry again, but it was too quick for me to place.
That's when I got a really good look at Jacob for the first time in two weeks. He wasn't the same at all; he looked like he had aged a few years in only a few weeks and what I noticed next came as a complete shock. Jake's hair was cut…his long, beautiful hair was cut so short! The person standing in front of me was not my Jacob at all, he was someone so different, and it scared me.
"Please, just go home Bella and don't come back." His voice was void of any emotion and I couldn't understand where any of this was coming from.
"What do you mean don't come back? You're my best friend Jake. What happened to you, why are you acting like this? I don't know what I did to make you mad at me but I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please, Jake. Please." I didn't even realize I was crying until his hand reached up and gently brushed the tears away.
"It's…damn…believe me when I tell you that you didn't do anything to make me be mad at you, Bella, I could never be mad at you. I just can't be around you right now, it's not safe and I don't mean to hurt you like this, but you can't come around here, around me." I looked him in the eyes as he said this and the pained look on his face broke me even more. I threw my arms up around his neck and hugged him as tightly as I could, while I started to sob hysterically.
I felt his arms come around my waist, holding me to him. "Jake…I can't lose you, not now, not ever!"
"Bells, you're not losing me. I promise, but right now there are just some things I can't explain. I really want to, I just can't." I could tell by his tone that he really meant what he was saying, but it still hurt so much. "You really do need to go now, Bella. When I can, I will explain everything, I promise you, but right now you need…"
"Jacob!" An angry voice called out from behind us, causing Jake to stiffen completely.
"Shit, I'm sorry Bella, please just go. NOW!" He let his hold on me go and I looked up at his face to see his hard, angry mask back in place, my Jake was gone again. He turned to where the voice came from and started to walk toward it.
I stood, watching Jacob walk away from me. I couldn't budge from where I was, it hurt too much. What was I going to do now? I couldn't go through this again. Jake wouldn't do this to me, not by choice. It had to be some else making him do it; it had to be whoever it was that called his name. I looked up to, in reality, see who it was he was en route to and what my eyes saw utterly confused me.
The man I recognized as Sam, who found me in the forest that night, stood about a hundred yards away, with who I can only guess was Jared and Paul on each side of him. All three wearing the same look Jacob had - one of complete rage.
"Bella, you need to go!" Sam stated as I made eye contact with him. What is with these people being so angry with me?!
"No, I came to see Jake. I just need to talk to h…"
"BELLA, GO! NOW!!" Sam howled and everything started happening at once, it was hard to keep up. Jacob yelled at Sam something about not talking to me like that and at the same time the guy standing to Sam's right let a loud noise that I can only describe as an animal's growl and turned to Sam. They were both shaking really badly for some reason.
Jake ran the short distance to them grabbing the guy buy the shoulders as the other guy on the left grabbed Sam the same way.
"DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO BELLA THAT WAY AGAIN!!!" Who was this guy and why was he so angry that Sam told me to leave?! I didn't know what was going on or what to do, so I took a step backward and with my great coordination, I fell. All four of the guys turned at the thud of me falling.
"Bella, are you ok?" Jacob and the other guy said at the same time. They both just looked at each other and then back at me. I still had no clue what was going on here but I seriously wanted to leave now.
I was about to stand up when Jake and the guy were both at my side, helping me up. I looked at Jake first and his eyes looked so sad. "Bells, go home, I will talk to you later. Please."
"But Jake, what's going on here, what just happened?"
"Go to your house and Jake and I will come and explain everything to you later on tonight ok?" I looked at the person saying this and when my eyes met his, I can't even begin to explain what I started to feel. I knew I needed to listen to him, that I could trust him to do as he said, that he and Jake would come by later, but I also felt almost complete and not so broken. I couldn't look away from his eyes; it was like I was connected to him in some sort of way that just felt right. I only looked away when I heard Sam talking again.
"Jacob, Paul, pack meeting. Right now." Looking at Sam, I could tell he was still shaking but not as bad as before.
"Bella go, we'll be by later." Jacob told me, with a weird look on his face and then all four guys took off running further into the woods. I just stood there, watching as they literally ran off, until I couldn't see them anymore. Finally, I turned and walked back to my truck.
I drove back to Charlie's, trying to come up with some kind of an explanation that would justify everything that just happened back there but I couldn't think of a single thing. Charlie's police cruiser was already parked in the drive way when I got there. I hadn't realized it was already so late.
"Dad, I'm home." I called out as I walked into the house. I could hear the t.v. on, so I knew where Charlie always was…in front of it.
"Bells, where have you been? You didn't leave a note; I was starting to get worried."
"I went down to La Push, to see Jake," I said sitting down on the couch to talk to him, "He wasn't there when I got there so I waited about thirty minutes until he showed up with Sam. I really didn't get to talk to him like I wanted but he did say he would stop by later tonight. I don't know if he actually will or not."
"I picked up a pizza on the way home, so you don't have to worry about fixing anything tonight." He said, not even looking away from the t.v.
"I think I'm just going to head up to my room and work on some homework right now. I'll eat some later." With that, I went up the stairs and lay in my bed.
Lying there, I continued my thinking from my drive home. What in the hell happened earlier?! I was just as confused now as I was then. I didn't know what was going on with Jacob, I didn't know what went on between Sam and Paul and I surely didn't know what in the world happened or what I was feeling when I looking into Paul's eyes….
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know is Charlie is sitting next to me on my bed, gently shaking my arm. "Bella, honey, wake up. Jake and his friend are here. They wanted to talk to you. Do you want to come down stairs or would you rather I send them up here?"
"Go ahead and send them up." I replied yawning. He nodded, then stood up and walked back out the door. I closed my eyes back and just stayed on my bed. I didn't feel like getting up. The bed dipped next to me again and I opened my eyes to see Jake sitting there.
"How are you doing Bella?" He asked, while brushing a strand of hair out of my face. I didn't reply for a few moments, I just lay there looking at him, trying to come up with the best answer for him.
"Honestly…I don't really know." I looked down at my hands and when he didn't respond, I kept going. "I mean, how am I suppose to be. I don't see you or hear from you for weeks, I try calling all the time and you never call me back. You're my best friend and you can't even be troubled with picking up the phone and letting me know you're okay after you're sick. Then, today when I come to see you, you're totally changed. You're not the same Jake you used to be and you won't even explain. You just kept telling me I shouldn't be there and to leave. You tell me, how am I doing?"
He wrapped his arms around me tightly and I couldn't stop the tear from spilling over. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry I hurt you like that. I never meant to, I swear. I'm so sorry Bella. Please forgive me. I'm here now and we're going to explain everything to you okay?"
I pulled back slightly and looked up at him, "Okay…but, wait, what do you mean we're going to explain everything to me?"
"Paul's here with me Bella." He looked over towards the door and I followed his gaze to see Paul stand against the door frame, looking at me sadly.
"Oh, um, okay?" Again, I couldn't stop looking at him. The same as earlier when I saw him.
"Bella have you met Paul before?" I didn't answer out loud, just with a shake of my head. "Well then, Bella met Paul. Paul, this is my best friend, Bella. Hurt her and you'll be dealing with me!"
"Hi Bella." He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back.
"Ok, Bells, like I said already, I'm sorry about everything, and Paul and I came to explain this all to you. You need to listen to everything we have to say and then it all will make sense to you. Alright?" I nodded at him and sat back against the headboard of the bed. Paul came and sat on the other side of the bed, across from Jake so that they were both facing me. "Remember last year when you were at First Beach with some of your friends and I told you some of the tribal stories?" I nodded again. "Well, they're not just stories Bella, they really are true, all of them."
I wasn't exactly sure how to tell Jake I already knew that the Cullens were vampires so I just looked down at my hands and softly whispered, "I know."
"What…how do you know?" That came from Paul.
"Ed..Edward." Jake jumped up off the bed and started pacing across the room.
"That bloodsucker told you we were werewolves!" My head snapped up so fast to look at Jacob.
"Werewolves? What are you talking about? I know the story about the cold ones was true after you told it to me because I knew the Cullens were vampires."
Low growls came from both Jake and Paul. Until Jake stated, "You mean, you knew that Edward was a leech and you still dated him?!" I kept looking at my hands and he took my silence as a conformation. He didn't say anything else, just kept pacing the floor. We all just stayed quiet for about five more minutes before I finally got tired of this crap and said something.
"I didn't care if he was a vampire or not, but what does that have to do with how you have been the last two weeks? Why were you treating me like shit when I am suppose to be your best friend!?" I was beyond mad. What right did he have to come here and get mad at me because I knew about vampires!
"Bella, think about the other stories that Jake told you that day…if one was true, then they all are. Do you remember what the others were about?" I looked up over at Paul while I tried to think about the other things Jacob mentioned that day at the beach. The cold ones were vampires and I knew that was true because I knew Edward was a vampire. What were the other stories? What did he say? I tried to really think about it because I couldn't remember. I wasn't worried about the others, I just wanted to know what Edward was. Shit…think Bella, think.
OMG!
The Quileute's…wolves….werewolves! I looked back and forth between Jacob and Paul. Could this actually be right?
"Judging by the looking on your face Bella, I think you just figured it out."
"You're werewolves?" I looked at Jake who nodded and replied with a big smile and a 'yep' popping the p.
"Bella, are you ok with us being werewolves?" Paul asked.
"Why wouldn't I be? I mean, seriously, it is a lot to take in at first but it doesn't matter to me. I knew about vampires and that didn't bother me, so why would this?" I looked at Jake and smiled and then at Paul. They both smiled back but when Paul did, I couldn't help the blush that covered my cheeks. I liked when he smiled at me.
Jake sat back on the bed and took my hand in his. "There's more that you need to hear Bella, but I am going to go for a minute and let you talk with Paul. I'll just be out in the back and when he is done, I'll come back then. Is that ok with you?"
I didn't know why Jacob couldn't stay and tell me whatever it was. Why was Paul the one that had to tell me this? "I guess, but why do you have to leave?"
"I don't have to leave but, I think I need to. Paul will explain it to you and then you will understand okay?" I nodded at him and he kissed my forehead and then left out the window. What is it with all the mythological persons using my window as a door?
Paul moved up the bed, closer to where I was sitting. "Bella, this may be hard to understand at first but just stop me if you have any questions or don't understand something and I will be happy to explain it more." I nodded and he took my hand in his. "As a werewolf, we have something called imprinting. It's when we see our mate, our soul mate, for the first time and we are immediately drawn to them, connected to them. And we know we are destined to be with that person for the rest of our lives. Sam imprinted on a girl named Emily and Jared on a girl named Kim. We will do whatever we need to in order to make sure they are happy, safe, and protected; that no harm will ever come to them.
"I know this is a lot to take in right now but the only way I know how to explain it would be by what happened earlier. After I saw you, I knew I had imprinted on you, and then Sam yelled at you to leave. I saw that it hurt you and it just tore me up to see you hurt and I got so mad. He had to no right to treat you like that. I'm sorry for that and after we talked he wanted me to tell you he was sorry too, but he just wanted you to leave. It's too dangerous to be around us when we are upset and he didn't want you getting hurt." He didn't say anything else; he just sat there waiting for me to say something to him.
"S-so you're saying that you imprinted on me? I'm supposed to be your soul mate? Just give me a second here; this is definitely a lot to take in. How can I be your soul mate, when I thought Edward and I were soul mates? I mean, this is just too…wow." I didn't know what else to say. What else could I say?
"Bella, I understand this is really complicated. I just want you to know that I will be here for you in whatever way you will have me, as a friend, a boyfriend, and a lover…when you're ready for that. I know you loved Edward and you took his leaving you really hard, but we can work this out together. We will find a way to make this all better, the past, the present and the future. Whatever that brings our way. Ok?"
I looked at Paul and I couldn't fight the smile that I had just for him. "For some reason, I do understand what you are saying. I believe you when you say we can work this all out. What Edward did hurt a lot but that was in the past and I can't hide everything inside anymore. I have to move on and get past this. I think with your help, I can. I can move on and we will be able to figure all this out. Together."
Paul's face lit up with the biggest smile I had ever seen. He kissed my cheek and said, "Thank you Bella, you don't know how happy you have made me. I better get Jake now so we can leave. It's late and you need to get some sleep." He got up and walked to the window and called Jake's name. About a minute later Jake came bounding in. I couldn't help the chuckle that slipped out.
"Well Bells, I guess we are heading home but we will be back tomo rrow after school ok? " Paul said as they walked to the door. I was about to agree that it would be fine but Jacob had a better idea.
"Why don't you just drive to La Push after you get out of school and then we can hang out at the beach or something? We can introduce you to Emily and Kim, I'm sure that they are going to be excited to finally meet you, Bells."
"That sounds great, Jake. I'll meet you all at your house after I finish with school. Bye Jake, Bye Paul."
"Bye Bells."
"Good Bye Bella." With that they left out my door. I lay back down on my bed and gazed at the ceiling.
Wow. This day was so exhausting, but all I could think about was what Paul had said. I truly meant everything I said to him. I knew we could work everything out. It might not be easy but really, what in life is easy? Somehow, together, we were going to make everything better and in the end, we would be happy, I just had a feeling about it!
A/N: O.K., so what do you all think? Was it worth your time reading it? I think it could have been better but ... This is only my second thing to write. Let me know how I did and review…it will be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks for reading and I really do hope you enjoyed it!
A/N Part 2: So, I have finally decided to continue this into a story! I hope everyone enjoys what I have planned for Bella and Paul! Add this to your alerts so you know when it's updated!! I'm currently working on a one shot for the Love Bites Contest but once I'm done with that I will get chapter two on its way to you! ~JessDS
