These are your first steps
The sand-covered surface of Jakku is more than familiar to Rey. She knows ins and outs of it. She knows how warm the surface gets during the day, how you couldn't walk barefooted without burning your skin, how dangerous and painful sandstorms can be and how they can tear your skin off. She even knows how cold it can get during the nighttime, how the temperature goes to freezing. Jakku is full of dead and broken things. Once she was one of those things too. But that was supposed to be in Rey's past. Now she was more than Rey from Jakku, she was part of the Resistance, friend of Finn, Poe, Rose and many others, owner of the famed Millennium Falcon and perhaps the most impressive of her titles, the last jedi left in the whole galaxy. That was the legacy and legend of the late Luke Skywalker had left for her slender shoulders to carry.
Right now Rey was none of that. She had returned to her roots. Force couldn't or didn't want to give her the answers that she craved. She remembered the mysterious cave that she wandered into on Ahch-To. Only answer she ever got came from Kylo Ren.
Despite the heat, memory of him made Rey shudder. She shouldn't have gone to that cave and she shouldn't have gone to Kylo after that. She shouldn't even be here. Let the past die, kill it if you have to, Kylo Ren had bleated when he had begged her to join him. Rey knew she had been dangerously close to the dark side then. She had felt it. Only memory of her friends, how the First Order fleet had been shooting them to oblivion had kept Rey in the light.
She owned everything that she had to her friends. Even this trip. Rey was wasting precious Resistance resources but general Organa, Leia, had granted her wish with sadness in her eyes. Somehow Leia understood her pain. Leia had always known she was adopted but only later in her life she found out who her biological parents were. She had loved her parents, the ones who raised her, dearly but she understood the feeling that Rey had felt her whole life. Leia knew that Rey just had to make sure, had to know.
So when Rey landed on Jakku she was alone. Not even Chewie had accompanied her. Resistance was growing slowly but they were still too few in numbers. Rey was only here for a quick visit. R2 was inside the Falcon. He had refused to leave her side after Luke came one with the force. Rey wasn't complaining though. The droid was old but still hasn't lost his spunk. But even R2 was forced to stay on Falcon while Rey went to explore her own home planet. This was something private. Something that she had to do alone.
She had landed the Falcon faraway from civilization. She wasn't keen on the scavengers or someone else exploring it. First things first, Rey had to see her old home. It didn't take long to reach it the old AT-AT was still lying in the sand. It seemed smaller than she remembered. Rey hadn't physically grown in couple years but maybe exploring different planets in space had made her somehow bigger than the lonely child that she used to be.
Almost all of her belongings had been taken while she was gone. This didn't surprise her. What did surprise her was that the Spinebarrel that she found years ago was still there, still alive. That plant had been her only hope for so long. Her breathing line when the simple belief to her parents returning wasn't enough. Life would find a way. Life would always find a way.
Memories of her fallen friends filled Rey's mind but she blinked hard. Breathe, that was what Luke told her to do. Just breathe, Rey told herself reaching to the force to calm her mind. The old mantra of the jedi came to her mind. There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force. Rey opened her eyes. There is no death, there is the Force.
Rey got up. There may not be death but she was not ready to let go of the small plant that had saved her once. Carefully she tucked it from the grown and stored it inside her bag. She would take it with her away from this empty place.
Then Rey moved on. She visited the Niiman outpost but apparently she was so changed that no-one recognized her. Rey had abandoned her old three-buns-hairstyle. She had worn it since her early childhood because she feared that her family would not know who she was without it. Childish fears but so real to her. She had found a new family who remembered, who cared with or without wearing the same hairstyle every day.
Rey's hair was down, only front of it tied back so it couldn't come in the way. She was wearing darker attire than she used to. Wearing dark colors in the desert meant death but now she didn't have to worry about such matters anymore.
Opening up to Kylo had brought one good thing. Her memories had started to clear. She did not still remember her parents, she was too young when they died. She didn't remember what they lookrd like or what it felt like to be hugged by them or what did they sound like but Rey did remember where they were buried. Too nameless graves that she refused to visit, that she buried under all those false imagines that her brain came up with, refusing to believe the truth. Kylo had been right. She always knew who her parents were. She just didn't want to admit it.
Rey sat there, hood covering her face but no-one was looking for her, staring at her parents graves. She felt completely and utterly alone.
Rey knew what happened even before it started. All the sound around her disappeared until she could hear only one thing, Kylo Ren's breathing.
"Rey." His voice was faint and if it wasn't the only thing that Rey could hear she wouldn't have heard it at all.
"Go away." Rey said calmly. The bond always connected them when they felt alone. It was mockery, a poor excuse of a joke.
"Where are you?" He asked. Rey knew he could only see her. He had said so himself and Rey couldn't see his surroundings either.
"Go away." Rey said again still keeping her eyes on the graves. She didn't want to see him right now. She refused to see him actually.
"You came to see them, your parents." He said. It wasn't a question.
"No." Rey lied.
"I won't come for you." Kylo said. Rey ignored the sadness in his voice. She didn't want his sadness. She didn't want to acknowledge that he was capable of such emotion.
"Why?" Rey turned her head sharply. She kept her gaze burning, hoping to scare Kylo away. Somewhere deep in her mind she knew his pain, his suffering. It was too similar to her own.
"You know why." Kylo's eyes lacked her hate but were just as full of emotion. She missed the mask. He was too expressive, his face hiding nothing. The bond only made him easier to read.
Rey wanted to turn her gaze away but she couldn't. He looked the same as the last time when she saw him. She had tried to ignore him and their bond, not looking at him and only to speak to tell him to leave. This was the first time since Crait when Rey shut Falcon's door to his face that she has looked directly at him.
His hair was still dark, his pale skin still covered by moles, his nose little too big and his lips full and somehow Rey just knew that when he smiled he looked just like Han.
The longer Rey looked at Kylo the more similarities to his parents she found. His eyes were Leia's, Rey decided. Brown, deep and capable of such emotion and determination that it terrified Rey.
"If you are not going to tell me…" Rey started getting to her feet. It was just like him to rob her private moment with her parents.
"Join me." Kylo interrupted.
Rey only sighed. "You know I won't do that. Only way that we will stand side by side is if you turn and you know it. I am the last jedi."
"I swore to kill the jedi and the Resistance." Anger has found him again. He always refused to face his real issues trying to cover them with a legacy that was broken to begin with.
"Then kill me. You know my location. Just push a button, yell an order, whatever you do nowadays. Aren't you the emperor? Or is it Hux perhaps? Is he controlling you like Snoke once did?" Rey was just so tired. She just wanted this to end.
For a moment Kylo looked like he might actually try to hurt her through their bond but then he seemed to calm down. "You are no jedi. You have no training. Luke didn't teach you anything. He let you down just like all the parental figures in your life."
"You are the one to talk about failed parental figures. Wasn't your daddy issues that drove you to Snoke to begin with?" Rey spited back. They both always seemed to fight dirty when faced with one another.
"But he trained me never the less. I am stronger than you are, I know how to do more than just float some rocks." Kylo hit something. Rey guessed it was a wall where ever he was.
"We are done." Rey hesitated for a moment. "Ben." She finally added. She turned away from him, from the leftovers of those who she once called her parents and ran away. Normal human couldn't have ran as fast as she did all the way to Falcon but somehow the force helped her. She felt empty when she arrived to the ship but at least the bond had gone back to sleeping.
"Everything is alright, R2." Rey said to the worrying droid. "I'm alright."
But she wasn't. She really wasn't. Yes, she had seen her parents' graves proving what she already knew. But the bond that Rey and Kylo shared had manifested again and wasn't completely disappeared even now. Kylo was gone but she could still sense his presence and Rey suspected he sensed her too. His dark figure had appeared in her dreams and they weren't always nightmares. Rey knew she had to do something about it. She wouldn't turn and neither would Kylo it seemed. Their connection would only drive them mad.
Rey took the somewhat suffered plant out of her bag and put it in a small pot. She watered it and took care of it until Rey felt satisfied that it was not going to die.
"He has one thing right." Rey said abstractedly. "I haven't finished my training."
Rey moved to cockpit and settled down starting to make required preparations for leaving the planet. R2 followed her making confused noises that Rey translated to basic.
"I need to go back to Ahch-To." She told to the droid. "I need to finish or even start my training." The old jedi texts that she had stolen from Luke were still waiting for her in one of the storage lockers. Rey had tried to study them but she has never been one to read a lot. It wasn't simply required in her old scavenger life. She didn't know what exactly she was looking for in Ahch-To but she just knew she had to go back there.
"I'll send the Resistance a message. If you want I can drop you off there." Rey offered to R2 whose answer was a very colorful: I'm staying with you. It made Rey smile.
"This is Rey." She said when she found the frequency that Resistance used. "I'm heading back to master Luke's old hiding place. I will be back but I don't know for how long. I still have the beacon in case I need to find you or other way around. Over and out."
Rey wondered who would receive her message first. Finn had moved to lead ground forces and train new requites, Rose was probably helping him and Rey knew that Leia was coaching Poe to be a leader. She was sure that her message would reach them all sooner or later.
Rey checked that she had enough fuel before taking off and leaving Jakku behind. Somehow she knew this was her last time visiting this place. She didn't feel sorrow or regret. With a new found clarity in her mind she jumped to hyperspace with only one goal in mind.
Ahch-To seemed empty and full of life at the same time. Porgs were still there filling the air with their weird noises. Lanai's seemed to remember Rey since they immediately appeared to be annoyed by her. Rey could sense that through the force even though her efforts were clumsy. She left Falcon and R2 again and climbed all the way up to the old jedi village where Luke used to live. Rey found most of his day to day belongings there. They made her feel sad but she continued forward until she reached the cave with the pool where Luke gave her his first lesson.
She stopped before walking to the ledge where Luke ordered her to first reach out. Luke's old robe was still there. Rey had no idea how it had managed to stay in place and not flown away by the wind but she was thankful for it. Carefully she folded it and placed it neatly to her bag. Then she sat down into a meditation position and closed her eyes.
Breathe, she reminded herself before reaching out, letting the force guide her. This time she didn't go to the dark cave. It had nothing to offer. Rey knew better now. Darkness was already inside her. Instead she listened the nature of the island. Life, death, happiness and pain. Rey took it all in. Then she opened her eyes and nearly fell off the damn stone.
Luke Skywalker was standing in front of her. It took a minute for her to calm down enough to speak but when Rey did her voice sounded unsure. "Master Skywalker?" Maybe the bond had messed with her mind more than Rey realized.
Luke smiled at her. "I am sorry I failed you."
Now that Rey had time to calm herself she noticed and odd blue hue coming from Luke. She reached out her hand like she did when Luke snapped at her hand with a plant but instead of touching Luke's torso her hand went straight through him. "You are not here."
"I am one with the force. Thanks to you I was finally able to find peace." Luke scooted to sit next to her and even though his form isn't physical Rey automatically gave him more room.
"But… but you died. I felt it. And Leia felt it too." Rey said confused.
"There is so much I didn't teach to you." Luke only replied.
"And you didn't fail me." Rey added weakly.
"Yes I did. I am sorry, Rey. I am so sorry. I hope I'm able to help you now." Luke said.
"You will finally teach me?" Rey couldn't stop the smile appearing to her face even if she tried.
"More than that. We will teach you." Before Rey had time to think about that, Luke continues. "You are the last jedi, Rey. I'm sorry I left that burden to you."
"It's not your fault. You were the last jedi once, too." Rey said looking at her hands.
"And look what it did to me. Some destinies are too hard to carry. My only hope is to give you enough teachings so you don't end up like me."
Rey looked at her teacher noticing how much younger he seemed. He was wearing the jedi master robes but his hair and beard were trimmed and there was a twinkle in his eye that Rey didn't see in him while Luke was alive. Perhaps the young farm boy from Tatooine was still there after all.
"How can you teach me when you are like this?" Rey gestured not really sure what exactly Luke was.
She earned a chuckle out of him. "I admit our circumstances aren't ideal but they never are. My first mentor sacrificed himself soon after he started teaching me."
"Obi-Wan Kenobi." Rey said quietly. She knew the legends like a back of her hand.
"Ben was named after him." Luke's smile was melancholy. "Sometimes I wonder if it was our first mistake."
Rey said nothing. She came from nowhere, her parents were no-one, kriff, she was no-one but Ben Solo wasn't He was the son of the princess Leia and famed smuggler Han Solo. His uncle was perhaps the most powerful jedi who ever lived, Luke Skywalker. He was the grandson of the former queen and later senator of Naboo, Padme Amidala and Anakin Skywalker who was also known as Darth Vader, a sith lord whose name still strikes fear to people everywhere. Not only that but he was named after Obi-Wan Kenobi, hero of the clone wars. Rey can't even imagine what is like to grow under those names.
"I can still sense him." Rey suddenly blurted.
"I know." Luke said.
"Snoke told that he connected us but he is dead. I saw how Kyl… Ben killed him instead of killing me. I'm so sorry of what I did, master Skywalker." Rey started sobbing. "I thought I saw light in him. I thought I could turn him. Instead I only sealed his fate. I should have never gone there. I should have…" Rey's voice trailed away as she cried to her hands.
"You were right, Rey. There is still light in him. You were right to go. Do you know how I escaped my master once to help Han and Leia?" Luke asked.
Rey couldn't speak so she only nodded.
"Master Yoda warned me that I was not ready and I would fall. I lost my hand that day." Luke lifted his arm to examine it better. It was still metal without human tissue. "I never regretted my actions."
"But I…" Rey really didn't know how to continue.
"There is still light in Ben. Just like there was in Anakin. I am not sure if my nephew can be redeemed like my father. Only he can make that choice for himself." Luke said calmly. "The fact that you too are still connected gives me hope." There was a hint of a smile on his face.
"How?" Rey asked.
"Snoke didn't connect you two. But that you already knew, didn't you?"
"He said he did." Rey swallowed.
"He only wanted to control Ben. But even he could see through Snoke's lie. Snoke was very powerful in ways of the force yes, and he may have strengthened your bond but he didn't create it." Luke explained. "If he did it was the greatest mistake of his life."
"What is it… this bond? I only read it could be formed between masters and apprentices and…" Rey stopped herself. "But the books never described it to be this strong. I was able to touch him, master Skywalker. I can see him and he can see me. I can feel him and sometimes I feel what he feels too. I see him in my sleep and I sense him all the time." Rey buried her head to her hands.
"Your bond is unique. Force bonds weren't that rare. I had one with my father, even one with Leia. Yes, as you said most commonly the bond formed between a master and an apprentice but siblings or relatives or even lovers were possible too. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter." Luke smiled to his own words. "Force connects us all but what is between you and Ben is something unique. It may be his saving, it may be your downfall, it may be both. We don't know. Once again I am sorry for this path you must take."
Rey sat silent for a while looking at the setting sun. "I once asked to show me my place in all of this. I think I know it now."
"Good. But first, you must learn. We will start tomorrow." Luke disappeared leaving Rey to look to the horizon. When she finally returned to the Falcon, not seeing the point to live in one of the huts, she fell asleep immediately when her head hit the pillow. And she dreamed, oh how she dreamed.
A/N: This was supposed to be one-shot but of well.
