COMING HOME
Bond spent the majority of his sick leave after the event with Blofeld, with Madeleine. After weeks of quiet time, he felt restless. One large chapter of his life was now finished. All the loose ends tied up after M's message given to him after her death.
Bond did go back to the old underground MI6 to collect what was his. He went to Q for his DB5 and drove off to the sunset with Madeleine, but it still wasn't enough to fulfill him.
Bond took Madeleine north. Yet, out in the middle of Scotland with a beautiful woman, he felt alone. Madeleine sat by his side in silence as he drove. All he could think about, was an old woman with white hair and bluest eyes he had ever been blessed enough to see. Not to mention the sharpest tongue he had the privilege to encounter.
They travelled to Kincade's cottage and he was happy to see them. James unpacked his small luggage. He carefully spread out his things and took out the small bulldog figurine with the Union Jack wrapped around its body. Bond placed it in a position of honour on the bedside table.
"He's just awful," Madeleine commented with a grimace. "Why do you insist on always bringing him?"
"I know." Bond said with a smirk.
She could say whatever negative thing she wanted, but Bond's had a small smile on his lips. He hated that dog, but that dog was M and she now followed him everywhere in the guise of a stubborn old bulldog.
M's will left him the figurine as a reminder and a perverse sort of punishment. James was absolutely certain about that and now he found that he didn't mind at all. He missed the dog's previous owner to no end.
Sometimes James' mind would wander and he talked to M in his thoughts or out loud when Madeleine was out. He wanted to know what M would do, so he would question the dog.
Would she congratulate him for finally apprehending the villain? Would she actually say good job or would she arch her lovely eyebrow and only stare at him, because M expected nothing less from him? Probably the second option and damn did he miss the way she would assess him with just her eyes.
James couldn't help himself, his smile spread wider, as he turned the dog to the window.
"How long are we staying here?" Madeleine put away most of her clothes, when he was lost in thoughts about M.
"I don't know. Let's go for a walk," Bond took Madeleine by the hand and led her through the door. They told Kincade they were going exploring and spent long hours walking in the gloomy weather. Bond loved every minute of it which surprised him. He thought the memory of loss would still hurt too much. The fresh air worked wonders for James' headache, which was his constant companion these days. All this relaxation was paying off.
"It's really nice here," Madeleine stated with a smile.
They were in the middle of Scotland, no people in sight and most important thing of them all - out of danger.
James could learn to get use to this, he felt it in his bones. He didn't have the chance to be with Vesper, but he could grow to love Madeleine. All he needed was time. The right word for this feeling was content. He felt content in his life and with his current company. This was saying a great deal for the part of the country that had always surrounded him with personal tragedy.
The silence and peaceful atmosphere was suddenly interrupted by his phone receiving a text message. James didn't give it a lot of thought. He would deal with it all later.
It was hours later, when James couldn't manage to fall to sleep after a round of sex with Madeleine, that he remembered the text. He took his mobile into his hand and scrolled through several messages. Q obviously had something to say by the amount of messages from him, so James started from the beginning.
I HAPPENED TO STUMBLE UPON INFORMATION THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULDN'T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW. CALL ME WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT FOR YOU.
James sighed. What was all this about? He didn't want to come back. In fact he more or less resigned his commission within MI6, or whatever it was about to become under Mallory after C tried to merge it to MI5. He liked his new life just as it was now, but the curiosity was killing him. He still wanted to know what Q needed him to acknowledge, and with the urgency of using all-caps, it must be something the young leader of Q branch was passionate about.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE MANNER OF CONTACT. IT'S NOTHING DANGEROUS, 007. I JUST FEEL THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW. AND YES, IT INVOLVED ME HACKING INTO PLACES I HAD NO BUSINESS BEING.
Bond smirked. He expected nothing less from the young, enthusiastic man.
I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SUCKED BACK IN AND YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT NOT TO GIVE ME A RING BACK. BUT, PLEASE, MAKE SURE YOU'RE SITTING BEFORE YOU OPEN THE ATTACHED PHOTOGRAPH.
Now this peaked his interest. What had Q found? He pressed a few buttons on his screen and he waited for the photo to load. When it finally did, Bond's world stopped spinning. He was on his feet in a second, confused and mad as hell. Now, he bloody well planned on calling Q back!
Madeleine moved sleepily and watched him with a pained expression. "Something happened?"
Bond ignored her question, because Q finally picked up. "How did you find her?"
"Bond?"
The groggy question made James even more cross. "Wake up! I will ask you again! How did you find her? How long ago was that picture taken?!" he asked passionately.
"Bond, it's two in the morning."
"I don't give a damn about what bloody time it is, Q! Answer my question!" James wanted to say a few extra not so polite swear words, but Q interrupted him.
"I stumbled upon a certain conversation, between certain people and as a result, I happened to do some digging. Then I had to do some serious hacking and then… I had a satellite image of the unnamed country, in which the photo was taken. The photo was in a deeply buried file that I copied in a hurry and I sent one of the photos to you."
"So you're saying this is real? She's somewhere sunbathing on a beach and Mallory knew all this time?" Bond seethed. All of them have the audacity to lie into his face. Most of all - her.
"Bond, I didn't mention any names," Q replied exacerbated. "And I'm pretty sure they had a reason for not telling anyone the truth."
James hung up. His thoughts were running in multiple directions. He couldn't think clearly. Where was she? Why did this happen? She died in his arms! What should he do now?
The last time he saw M - the previous M. The only woman who had the power to drive him to distraction, with those blue eyes of hers. Yet, at the same time, she made him want to climb the walls in anger and frustration. She died on his watch, not far from here at Skyfall.
"James," Madeleine climbed to her knees on the bed and took his face into her palms. "What's happening?"
She obviously wanted to hear him reassure her. "Nothing," Bond whispered distracted by the idea of M being somewhere in the world, alive. "I... I need some air," he mumbled with a stormy expression on his face .
Bond spent hours sitting in front of the cottage, watching the night around him. It seemed so long ago, M was badly wounded. He understood now why the agency kept the secret about her being alive. M had made many enemies over the years with her job. The easiest option for her and the transition to Mallory, was to let her die. The world would move on without anyone knowing that she survived.
M would have need a long time to recuperate, it would be child's play to hide her in a hospital or private facility. All she needed was quiet and safe surroundings. No one looked for a person that is supposed to be dead.
James watched the sunrise on horizon over the misty clouded hills of the highlands. The world was slowly waking up. Birds were singing and not much in the world had changed, but his tranquility slipped away. He needed to see her.
"You spent the night here?" Madeleine put her warm palm on Bond's shoulder.
"Yes."
"You're going back?"
James didn't want to go back to MI6 but he wanted to know where they hid her. Perhaps, he just wanted, no needed to say something to her for the last time.
"I'm not going back to work. But I have to pay a visit to someone," Bond took her fingers into his hand. He had actually decided the moment he saw M's picture on his mobile. There was never any other option for him.
"A woman."
Madeleine didn't really ask a question, she put two and two together and knew if it was James there must be a woman involved.
"It's not what you think it is. She's a..." James was lost in thoughts for a moment. What did M mean to him? Too much to even put into words. He needed something simple for Madeleine, he owed her that much.
"She's my former boss," Bond found the picture on his phone with one hand and showed her the photo. "It's really not what you think it is."
"Oh," Madeleine behind him sucked a surprised breath. "She's…"
Bond heard her unsaid old. It grated on his nerves. "My former boss," he repeated. "I have not seen her in a long time. I didn't know where she was until now. Now I know."
"So you're going after her?" Madeleine clarified for them both.
"No. I just want to visit her. I want to know how she's doing." James gave her a reassuring squeeze.
Three days later, Bond was exiting an aircraft on the Whitsunday Islands of Australia and immediately after went for the air taxi to Cumberland Island. After the entire day of traveling from Scotland, he was ready to pass out. He was closer to his final destination - Whitehaven Beach, and the private cottage that Q found out M owned there.
James arrived at the resort he had Q book for him and slept a few hours, adjusting to the time difference. Once he woke he rented a car, drove to the coordinates that Q gave him and sneaked around the cottage.
M's protection consisted of a laughable lock on the door. Absolutely surreal. He picked the lock in record time and looked through the open space with big windows. Sun was shining relentlessly into the room. By the wall on right sat a queen sized bed with mosquito net. M was curled up napping in the middle of it in a sundress.
Bond's heart hammered with nervousness. He carefully took a few steps to the bed and watched her. He missed her face - her snow white hair, and her blue eyes. M slept on her side, one hand under the pillow.
In a matter of seconds, she was sitting up and pointing a gun at him. James didn't say a word. He couldn't apologize enough for the way his eyes drifted over her form.
"Bloody hell, Bond!" M gingerly laid down, slid her gun back to its place and massaged her hip, obviously in pain.
"Are you alright?" he asked quietly.
"Yes," M answered him with a sigh. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Visiting a ghost apparently." James awarded her with one of his patented smirks.
"Stop acting like a bloody buffoon. You're not twelve, 007."
Bond saw her slowly arrange the pillows under her back so she could sit easily. He wanted nothing more than help her, but he knew better than that. She would probably scold him. He looked around the room again.
"You can sit," M pointed to the chair behind him near the dresser.
"Thank you." He obliged. "Do they keep you in the loop?"
"Bond, I'm retired," she assured him calmly.
Without wasting any time James started to talk about what he experienced
with Blofeld. Several hours later, his voice was hoarse.
"So where did you leave her?"
"Pardon?" he mumbled in confusion.
"The woman, Madeleine, you mentioned her very carefully. I'm assuming you left with her. I wouldn't expect anything else from you after a mission like that. Is she alright?"
"Yes." This was what Bond missed the most. He could work well with Mallory, but the man couldn't stand up against even the ghost of Olivia Mansfield in the position of M. Perhaps over time Mallory would mature into the role, but his M held that position for almost twenty years and she could not be beaten.
As much as James was glad she was alive to ask him questions, he didn't want to talk about Madeleine. "She's fine. What about you?"
"What about me, Bond?" M repeated in same confusion. "I'm retired."
"Yes, I heard that." He shook his head in annoyance. "But are you alright? Do you like the place here?"
"I chose this Island wisely. Why wouldn't I like it here?"
"I...-" Bond stared at her long white dress, the light tan of her skin. Of course she would like a secluded place without any interruption from her former agents. "...don't know. Boring, wouldn't you say?"
"Quite on contrary. I finally have time to read as much as I always wanted. I can take long walks on the beach. I'm surrounded by this gorgeous landscape. And I don't have to put up with your insolence every day," M gazed at him with a hint of a smile.
Why wouldn't she love it here? She didn't mean to hurt his feelings. Bond knew her that well. It puzzled him, why he acted like an abandoned child. "Why didn't you tell anybody the truth?"
"What good would that do? I was always the absent parent. I did well as a head of MI6, but not as a mother. My work was done. I didn't leave any loose ends. My position could be easily transferred to Mallory any time. The injury was a convenient happenstance."
And Bond finally understood what she was saying. M would not be coming back to her office. In the deepest parts of James' soul he held a tiny hope she would be back in her position as his boss, once she was completely healed, but that mirror shattered with her words.
She won't be back. She won't be in London. She won't even be in the same country. She won't be in his life at all and something precious broke within him. That tenuous connection that the two of them shared through work faded into the past. However, Bond really didn't want to let go. For years he could always count on her staying in the shadows, watching his back and his every move.
"What are you doing here, Bond?" M asked him gently.
"I just wanted some answers," he replied vaguely.
"Do you have them now?" M said slowly getting out of bed, not waiting for his help or reply.
M walked slowly past him to the kitchen. She prepared two glasses of iced tea from the fridge. James followed, watching her every move. For the first time he found that he didn't have to censor the way he looked at her. She stood with her back to him and no longer showed any hint of pain, as she poured the tea from a jug. Her injury must have healed exceptionally well. She held herself proudly with her back straight, arranging two sandwiches and biscuits on a plate. This gave James the chance to freely watch her.
God, James had missed her, and he would miss her for the rest of his life. Bond's heart started to beat with anxiety. He was consciously aware of the distance between them as he moved towards her. He gently put his palm on the small of her back and with the other hand stilled her preparation of their afternoon meal.
Bond seriously didn't have any idea what possessed him to touch her so familiarly. He wasn't the only one surprised. M was in shock, by the way she turned to look at him. All he could think about was her new perfume. Lavender with a hint of mint and some exotic spices. She didn't smell like the dying woman he held in his arms all that time ago.
James found that he couldn't stand the difference. As a head of MI6, M was an unapproachable, ruthless woman. He knew her well enough and long that he could almost foresee her words and actions to whatever he did. This person in front of him was different. She was sunkissed, light and free, or maybe she was the same and he had changed. After all that happened between Skyfall and Blofeld's torture. This was the Olivia Mansfield he never had the chance to meet.
She raised her blue eyes to him.
Here on this remote island, Olivia was warm, alive and all the sharp edges around her, from long years of servitude to their country were gone. James touched her cheek gently. He wanted to remember her like this. She was looking at him perplexed but standing very still, as if waiting for something to happen.
Bond kissed her forehead. For a second he permitted himself to close his eyes and breathed her scent. His heart squeezed in pain as he pulled her against him.
"Take care of yourself." Without any explanation, he released her and walked out the door. James fished out the phone from his pocket. "Q, can you get me a flight off of this island. I'm heading for the airport now."
"Bond-"
"I don't care how you do it. I can't stay here," he hung up, climb into his car and drove to the resort not looking back to see if she even left the cottage to come after him. An hour later Bond was in his resort room grabbing his duffle bag and drove directly to the airport.
Bond closed his eyes the moment he boarded the small plane that would take him to a larger airport. After one Martini he relaxed enough to reflect on what had just happened. Leaving had been the wisest decision, he convinced himself after another couple of Martini's.
Bond wouldn't disturb Olivia's peace of mind. She deserved that much. He acted like a maudlin fool, catching the first plane and going after her on the other side of the world. He had certainly done a lot of stupid things in his life, but this stunt took the cake.
The flight was long and had several stopovers, but he finally landed back in Scotland. The approaching winter gave him a shock. After the heat and sun of Australia, this weather was more appropriate for his state of mind.
James should just be glad that she was alive and alright. He should be glad he was back home. But the more distance there was between him and Olivia, the more he felt like his heart stayed lost on Cumberland Island.
Madeleine quickly came to him, embraced him and kissed him in greeting at Kincade's cottage. She smelled of vanilla, very unlike the sun kissed mint-lavender smell of Olivia. Why had he ever pay attention to this detail before?
"Hi," Bond gave her a tight smile. She looked exhilarated to see him. Madeleine's face never held the annoyed expression, that he was again in her life. Her eyes radiated happiness.
"Hi, handsome. You're back early. How is she?"
James' stomach flipped almost painfully. The hours of the never ending international flight made one thing perfectly clear. He didn't want to work at MI6 without her. "Good. I need to make a phone call."
"Yeah. Sure," Madeleine released him and made a move to go into the other room.
James caught her hand. "You don't have to go." He waited patiently for Q to pick up the phone. The nerves around his spine tingled.
"Yes?"
"Tell Mallory I'll send my official resignation tomorrow morning by a courier," Bond spoke the words he thought he would never utter out loud.
"What? No. You have your time off however long you need. Wait a second."
James could picture the young man fumbling with his phone, multitasking, doing everything in his power to connect him to Mallory's line.
"M here." The new head of MI6 announced and Mallory hadn't really done anything wrong. Bond couldn't get over nor forget that he wasn't the right M, he wasn't his M.
"It's me. I'm done." James said perturbed that Q insisted he speak with the man when all he wanted to do was get on with his life. Bond didn't wait for confirmation nor any persuasion to stay for the good of Queen and Country. The thought that stuck in his head was that Mallory was not his M.
In a sudden fury Bond hurled the phone against the wall and watched with satisfaction as it shattered to pieces. How appropriate. Exactly like his heart.
With a sigh, Bond looked at the woman by his side. To hell with it! To hell with everything! He could never grow to love Madeleine. He was already in love with someone else and she was currently residing on a remote island in Australia.
Bond seemed to only exist the next week. He spent his days with Madeleine, walking the Highlands and avoiding the topic of his trip. On some level she must know, she was a doctor of psychology, but love does strange things to the mind. They shared meals with Kincade every day. They had sex almost every night, but he couldn't stay the night with her in the same bed.
Madeleine was seriously thinking about adopting a dog. Bond felt like climbing the walls. He simply couldn't get Olivia out of his head. He couldn't manage one damn hour without thinking about her.
Bond's miserable new routine, consisted of spending his nights sitting on front step of the cottage, looking into distance and watching the dawn break over the hills. On the morning after a week of this routine, Madeleine joined him with a cup of tea in her hands. She stood motionless by the railing.
"Did she say something to you?"
"Hm?" James shook his head and tried to focus on the conversation. "Who?" He didn't want to talk about Olivia with her.
"Your former boss. You're different." Madeleine turned around. "I know you loved your job, but I thought after what happened with Blofeld," she hesitated nervously. "You would consider quitting and you did. You looked alright, until you ran away to visit with her."
"She didn't say anything significant," Bond answered truthfully.
"Then what..." she didn't have a chance to finish her sentence, because Kincade stood in the door with a satellite phone in his hand.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, lad, but they told me it's an emergency," the man handed the phone to James.
"Bond," he announced coldly.
"007, this is Gareth Mallory. I'm not calling to convince you to come back and to give you a mission. I respect your resignation. I need you to cooperate with me now. As of today, the certain woman we both know you visited last week, is presumed missing. She didn't check in with me. Did you see anything unusual?"
James was walking into the cottage and halfway down the hall nearing their bedroom. Madeleine and Kincade followed him in tow. He didn't unpack his duffle bag, he had stuffed it in the wardrobe the moment he came back from Australia. The only thing he needed now was his gun in the drawer of his bedside table and he was ready.
"For how long?" Bond's stomach had sunk and his heart felt like it was in a vice.
"She was suppose to send me an email every week. Every Monday morning between five and six, our time. She's never late checking in."
James held the phone between his shoulder and ear, grabbed the gun and duffle bag and was heading down the stairs to the door, almost colliding with Madeleine.
"Send me a helicopter it will be faster for me to get to London. I'm going after her." He carefully sidestepped Madeleine, who looked at him with a concerned crease across her lovely brow.
"Bond, you're a civilian now. I called you for information only. Did you see anything suspicious around her?" Mallory repeated his previous question.
"Let's be clear, Mallory. I spent no more than an afternoon with her. She's retired. She was absolutely convinced she was out of this game and safe. You know how important she is and you couldn't keep her safe? Don't you have people near her for that?"
"Did it ever occur to you, maybe someone followed you to the island? She spent a year living peacefully there, and after your visit, suddenly she's gone missing."
Bond stopped on his way out of the door, his breath left him. Mallory was right. What if he somehow brought danger to her doorstep? "Send me."
"You resigned! I will not send you to go after her, 003 is closest and on his way." was M's answer.
"Like hell I'm going to stay here! I will go after her with or without your help, but if she's hurt or dead the moment I find her, I will come back and personally kill you." James turned, because Kincade tapped on his shoulder.
The old man gestured to the horizon, where they could see a nearing car.
"Did you send someone here, Mallory?" Bond asked coldly.
"No."
James didn't waste any more time. He pressed the phone into Kincade's hand. "Go inside, both of you." Pushing Madeleine in first and drawing his gun, he turned to face the car.
Bond watched in amazement as the car approached and Olivia was let out of the back. She paid the driver and stormed regally towards him suitcase in hand. He opened the door wider in shock and let her through.
"Are you out of your mind, Bond?" The sentence was so familiar to him, that he couldn't help but see her as the M he had lost. She never hesitated to speak her mind and seize control of a situation. From the corner of his eye, he could see Kincade with his mouth opened in wonder. Madeleine was nervously looking at the two of them.
"You broke into my home, turned my life upside down, and then disappeared like bloody petulant child without answering my questions. What in hell were you trying to prove?"
James stayed silent, he was too shocked to speak. He was about to run off to search the entire world for her, and in all the time she was missing she was on her way to him. He had to say something, "You didn't tell Mallory about your trip," he whispered tightly.
Bond could see M assessing the situation, looking at his packed bag and the concerned look on Madeleine's face. Kincade stood there still clutching a satellite phone. Bond himself, had a gun in hand and was ready to storm off into the world.
"Oh, for god's sake!" she grabbed the phone from Kincade. "Mallory?"
James couldn't take his eyes off her. M's face held the same expression of annoyance he knew so well. This wasn't Olivia. This was his boss.
"Gareth, for the love of god, I'm fine! Retract your orders and stop hounding me with your rules and schedules. I'm old enough to take care of myself and disappearance by kidnapping is a bit absurd at this point. Silva is gone and I'm dead. It's time for the both of you to let me die and live in peace."
Bond took a sudden step to her, as she hung up on Mallory. "You must be joking?" He found himself so close to her, that he could smell her perfume again.
"Show some respect 007, I'm no one's damsel in distress and you should bloody well know that by now!" M scolded him with a hard stare.
James was mad enough to breach her personal space, but it wasn't an excuse for him to act like that. "Sorry," he mumbled, his eyes shifting to the floor.
He watched as M took a few calming breaths. Without an invitation, she turned and walked into the small sitting room. Bond followed, after helping her out of her gray wool coat to place it on a coat rack.
"Thank you." M added politely.
Bond acknowledged her now even and polite words with a nod. She was the first one to break the silence. "You left," she accused him. "007, the well trained and yet continuously insolent James Bond ran away."
"My presence wasn't needed," he explained.
"I didn't require your visit, but you still crossed half of the world to see me. Why?"
Bond said nothing and was afraid she would insist on asking her questions here in front of witnesses. He looked over his shoulder, but Madeleine and Kincade were nowhere in sight. He still remained silent.
"Is there some reason that you are suddenly unwilling to stand up for yourself, Bond? You never shrank or ran away from my questions before. Must I ask for the third time, Bond?" M questioned him frostily.
"I wanted to know how have you been. What you had been doing all that time."
"Funny you never asked then."
"I did, but you ignored me. I couldn't manage everything I wanted to say to you, because you were there." He looked into her eyes steadily. "I was sidetracked, because you were alive. A damn ghost! I spent over a year thinking that I failed you and you died because of me!"
"James," she gentled her tone.
Bond had wanted nothing more than their meeting on Cumberland Island to go differently. He would have given anything for the nerve to envelope her in more than just an awkward embrace in her kitchen.
"James, you were my only regret. That entire situation at Skyfall was tragic for what I had to do to you. I hated that you would have to live with that kind of guilt."
James believed her, because her voice was now full of genuine and gentle caring. The way she was looking at him, he knew her anger was gone. She would never let him go through that, if she had, had another option.
"How long will you be on sick leave?" M said, changing the topic and tone of their conversation.
"I'm not. I quit."
"What?!" she seemed to reel with shock and swayed on her feet.
M looked so shocked, that Bond carefully took a step to her, just to steady her from the news.
"Why?"
She deserved to hear the truth. "I don't want to work for MI6 without you." He continued to look into her eyes earnestly. Time stood still as M studied his face closely, like she was trying to discern any hidden meaning in his words.
"Is the argument over?" Kincade peeked inside from the doorway with M's bag.
He and Madeleine had given them a few minutes alone, but it wasn't enough. The heavy silence between them lingered.
James watched her blinked a few time and then broke their gaze. She finally turned towards the old man, who was visibly rattled. "Mr. Kincade, my dear friend, it is wonderful to see you again. Is there a chance that I could refresh myself and rest for a while? I feel tired after 20 hours of traveling." She asked, taking one last look at Bond, then smiled and gave her attention to the older man.
"Of course, my dear. I'm so glad to see you breathing, lass. You can use my room."
"Thank you."
The idea of M staying in another man's bedroom didn't sit well with James. "M you can-"
"Not a word, Bond!" she wouldn't let him finish the offer.
Bond understood her reluctance to stay in a bed that he was sharing with another woman. He watched closely as M disappeared upstairs with Kincade.
"James?" Madeleine took his hand. "What is she doing here?"
Bond shrugged his shoulders. He couldn't tell her the truth. He couldn't bring himself to speak about M with her at all. He wanted Madeleine to leave. He wanted to stay here with Olivia.
Several hours later, Bond stood on the front step of Kincade's cottage again. The peaceful atmosphere inside was suffocating him. Madeleine and Kincade were immersed in a card game. James wanted nothing more than for Olivia to wake up. They had to continue their conversation.
The door behind him opened. Bond waited for the person to address him. He knew it was Olivia by the smell of her delicate perfume, hanging in the air, along with the silence. She stepped towards him and stopped at his side.
"You could have asked me for a lot of things 007, but going back to London and being the head of MI6, is something I can't do."
"I know," he answered truthfully.
"So why quit something you love? You won't be satisfied here in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do, other than twiddling your thumbs. She's beautiful, but she won't keep your interest long," M stated cruelly. This was the truth. James knew it the moment he came back from Australia.
"I can't work with Mallory," he repeated his previous statement.
"Do you understand the position you are putting me in. You won't be the one speaking to Mallory. It would be me trying to persuade him not to sign your resignation order."
"I'm good with either option." James didn't move his eyes from the horizon.
"Bond!" Olivia grabbed his elbow angrily. "Stop acting like a martyr. This situation is grave. You can't just throw away the years…"
"Why did you come here?" he interrupted, turned to M and looking into her eyes questioningly. "You didn't have too. You stated it yourself, you're retired. What happens to me is not your concern now."
M broke his stare and shifted slightly away. "Sometimes I forget to act my age, and foolishly give into my fondness for a certain agent. Especially when he acts troubled after all that he's been through because of me."
After a long pause, Bond finally told her, what he contemplated ever since he left Australia and before her arrival to Scotland. "Let me come home with you. Suggest it as an option to Mallory. He could remove his agents and allow me to stay there with you, for your protection."
James had basically asked her to be her bodyguard and she looked at him with surprise. "I don't think your lady friend would like that idea very much."
"We both know she and I won't last. Do you have any other objections, Olivia?" He whispered desperately, "I won't cause you any trouble." Bond said with a smirk that indicated the trouble he would cause her.
"Bond, you can't be serious."
To hell with everything! James invaded her personal space and watched with satisfaction as Olivia took a step back instinctively. He put his palms on either sides of her body, caging her to the railing and leaned down. "You're an exceptionally wise woman. You know exactly what I'm saying. Do you have to punish me, by forcing me to spell it out for you word by word?"
James didn't avoid her gaze, but still hoped this was the last time they would have this conversation about his unrequited love for his former boss. His jaw tightened, when he heard opening of the door. Five minutes without interruption, was it to much to ask? He just wanted just five minutes!
Madeleine cleared her throat. "Sorry, Kincade put dinner on the table."
"We'll be there in a minute," he answered without moving. He won't miss another opportunity. Not when Olivia was still so close. Her perfume was driving him crazy.
"Bond," she whispered nervously without so much as looking at him. She was suddenly so far away from the woman he knew all the years, who was bossing him around. What was she hiding? The old M would hold his gaze without hesitation. Her eyes kept drifting towards the door, expecting further interruption from Madeleine.
"Olivia," he mumbled. "Look at me." James felt the tension between them. He would have used this moment and seduce her, if she were any other woman. He wanted to finally revealed all the answers to these unspoken questions. He wanted to kiss her senseless and assure her that he won't ever let anything happen to her. Olivia wasn't just like anyone else, any of those other girls. James had so much more respect for her.
"Look at me, please?" Bond caught himself, not giving a damn if Madeleine was still in the doorway. Was she gone? Was she just on the other side of the door hearing him beg another woman for something seemingly so insignificant, as a glance at him? There was a electric, sexually charged moment, undeniably happening between Bond and M.
When Olivia finally granted him his wish and raised her blue eyes to him, Bond held his breath. He had never seen her look at him so unguarded, as if all her alertness and strictness were stripped away from her and there stood only Olivia Mansfield, the woman he met on that remote island of Australia.
"This… is not a place to have this conversation," she hesitated for moment. "Not with the current company."
Bond had to agree. She was right as usual. "Dinner," he nodded. What was he thinking? Demanding answers from the woman he loved, when the woman he was sharing a bed with was waiting in the cottage? Sometimes his recklessness was really astounding.
James was momentarily distracted how warm Olivia's fingers were on his palm. When his brain finally caught up, he understood she wanted him to stop blocking her way. "Sorry." Bond reluctantly let her go.
They were both still tense, as they entered the kitchen.
"Finally," Kincade smiled at them. "Madeleine's not going to eat with us," he announced.
James knew it was his fault. He helped Olivia into her seat, then excused himself and went after Madeleine. Bond found her in their bedroom, slowly packing her clothes into the suitcase. He didn't have a chance to explain anything.
"You know, I was blind," she smiled at him sadly. "I saw it all. The way you couldn't talk about her. The way you changed after seeing her. The way you unconsciously ignored anything around you when someone mentioned her." Madeleine stopped for a minute and then turned to him.
"I always knew there has to be someone in your life for you to be so distant. I thought maybe you lost someone special."
"I did." James spent a year living without Olivia and believing she was dead.
"Nothing could open my eyes better, than seeing you with her."
Bond didn't want to hear how he was looking at Olivia from a perspective of another person.
"You're always tracking her movement with your eyes, as if you want to guard her against the world. When you're talking to her, you're constantly invading her space like you unconsciously want to be closer. When you're looking at her, it's like she's the only one you could ever truly see."
James' heart squeezed painfully in his chest. Madeleine summarised his feelings for M very well.
"I think it's time for me to go," she informed him calmly.
"It's almost dark. I can drive you to the train station or to London tomorrow." He didn't want to persuade her to stay longer, but waiting for the morning was a sensible thing to do.
"I would like to leave now," Madeleine zipped her suitcase with finality. "The train station will do."
"Ok." No reason to wait any longer, Bond grabbed her suitcase and headed downstairs in front of her. He didn't know what to say to Madeleine, how to apologise? He made a quick stop in the kitchen and froze. Olivia was nowhere in sight.
"Where is she?" James demanded from Kincade in a panic. In that second, Madeleine leaving was forgotten, he put the suitcase down and was ready to chase after Olivia.
"In my room. She had a phone call to make and needed a bit of a privacy, lad."
"I'll be right back," Bond mumbled to Madeleine as he passed her on the stair. He was halfway down the hallway before Madeleine could raise any objection. He knocked on the door and entered. Olivia was still on the line, patiently waiting for the other party to finish the obviously long monologue.
"No, Gareth. I'm still listening, but unfortunately I don't understand half of your concerns." She informed the new M with hard tone.
"I'm driving Madeleine to town," James whispered, trying to be as quiet as possible and looking in her eyes. He saw her still with an awareness of what was going on, for a moment, but then only acknowledged his words with a silent nod.
"Trust me, Gareth. My life will be the one turned upside down, rather than yours," she smirked. "I'm the one who will be constantly told to hide, because someone is following me. By the way, it wasn't very hard to slip away from your guards. Perhaps, you sent a young, still in training team to look out for an old retired woman?"
Bond didn't stay to listen any longer, but what she had said made his heart soar. Bond ran downstairs to join and deal with Madeleine.
The silence between him and Madeleine in the car was oppressive. He knew very well it was all his fault, but he really wasn't in the mood to apologize Madeleine for his feelings for Olivia. It wasn't in his power to change them and he certainly didn't want to. Not when there was only a slight chance of Olivia completely returning his sentiment.
James knew it wouldn't be easy, if even possible, for Olivia to admit her true feelings for him, but he would stay with her regardless.
Bond spent the majority of his sick leave after the event with Blofeld, with Madeleine. After weeks of quiet time, he felt nothing more than restless. When he dropped the woman off in Glencoe, she caught the very last train to London. Bond could finally breathe again, and peace settled in his bones as he drove back to Kincade's.
No matter where he planned on spending the rest of his days, Scotland or Australia, he was sure that he would be spending them with the woman he loved. The one, who challenged him in every possible way.
James had the most important mission of his life in front of him. He had to convince Olivia Mansfield, that she made the best decision of her life by allowing Bond to stay with her.
The End
