Chapter One: Breathe

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Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie,
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see.
Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down,
Now I don't know what to be without you around.
And we know it's never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I can't breathe without you, but I have to,
Breathe without you, but I have to.
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Renesmee's POV

I had tears in my eyes as I looked down at my engagement and wedding rings. I carefully pulled them off of my left hand, staring at them as they rested in my palm. I had been married for three years. Three marvelous, incredible, romantic years. Now my husband was gone. He was still alive somewhere, I could feel it, but he wasn't with me. I thought about what to do with the rings. With me entering high school again I couldn't be wearing them on my ring finger. Too many people would ask questions and there would be some kind of scandal. Humans could never understand how unimportant age was. As I thought about it, I decided to keep them on a necklace. It would be easier and look less suspicious. I walked over to my dresser and went through my jewelry box until I found an empty chain. I unhooked it, putting the rings on before I hooked it around my neck. I brushed the tears out of my eyes and walked downstairs to say good bye to everyone before I left. I would be going to this high school alone. They all agreed that I needed a break from everyone.

Six hours later I was stepping off the plane in Boston, Massachusetts with Seth. Mom and Dad hadn't been too happy that I was moving across the country, nor that I let Seth come and help me settle in and not them, but they learned to deal with it. No one had really wanted to argue with me anymore because they were afraid that they would say something to upset me. It made some things easier, but was mostly annoying. Even Seth now treated me like I was made of glass. He quickly grabbed my bags and led the way to the exit where a car was waiting for us. We found the car and got in, Seth driving, and immediately took off for the boarding school where I would be spending the next year. I was excited to be getting this experience, but also nervous and upset. I didn't know if further cutting myself off from the pack and my family would help ease my pain, but I had to try something. Sitting in Forks and moping was obviously not doing any good.

The ride was about an hour long. Seth didn't speed like I was used to with my family, but it gave me time to think things over and decide that this new school would be the beginning of a new me. I wasn't going to be all mopy anymore. I was going to make some normal friends and enjoy myself for once. Seth seemed to understand that I needed the peace and remained quiet for the majority of the ride, only commenting on certain things he saw out the window if they were particularly interesting. Massachusetts was definitely different than Washington.

We arrived at Spencer Academy before night fall. The old building looked eerie in the fading light, but I paid it no mind. I was tired and just wanted to go to bed. Seth let me out in front of the building that I would be staying in and went to park the car. He would be running back to the airport to catch his plane home and leaving me with the car. It was a nice car, a new, black Mustang. Dad had bought it to try and cheer me up. I shouldered the small backpack I had taken and decided to take a walk around the building before heading up. It would probably take Seth a while to park anyway.


Seth's POV

I quickly parked the car and grabbed all of Nessie's things before heading back towards the dorms. I hated that I had to leave her here by herself. In my opinion, she needed her friends and family to be around in order to help her get out of the depression she was in. But she thought she needed a change of scenery in order to recover. And whatever she asked for I did. Since Jake left, the job of protecting her and making sure she was happy fell onto my shoulders, and I was trying to take it seriously. She was like a little sister to me and I hated seeing her hurt.

Once in the building I tried to remember her room number. Two hundred something. Two hundred and ten? That sounded about right, so I walked up the flight of stairs to the second story and walked down the hallway slowly. Once I was at the room I kicked the door, because I couldn't knock with her suitcases in my hands, and yelled "Ness open up!" The door did open, but it wasn't Nessie. It was a blonde girl, and behind her I noticed another girl, so I was guessing that I got the room number wrong. "Oh, sorry. I thought this was my friend's room." I apologized.

"No problem," she said with a smile. "Who're you looking for?" she asked. She seemed friendly enough, but I doubted she knew which room was Nessie's since Ness was new and everything. But you never know, and it wouldn't hurt to ask.

"Um, Carlie Black's room. She's new here," I said hesitantly. It was weird calling her Carlie since it was her middle name. She had decided to go by Carlie because it blended in better and made her seem more normal. She would never really be normal, though. And I was also shocked when she told me she wanted to continue using Jake's name. It showed how much she had loved him and how much she missed him.

"She's down the ha-…" the blonde started to say, but just then the door to the stairwell opened and Nessie walked out. "I'm guessing that's her?" she said when I turned towards Nessie. I nodded and began walking towards her.

"You're here already?" Nessie asked, shocked. She obviously doubted my parking skills. She walked towards her room, 212 (I was only off by two) and opened the door, allowing me to pass through and put her stuff on the bed. It was empty, so I assumed she didn't have a roommate. This was probably good for her, because I knew she woke up in the middle of the night from nightmares ever since Jake left.

The blonde was standing right outside the door. "I'm Sarah," she said with a smile, holding her hand out to Nessie. "If you need any help you can always knock on our door, I'd be happy to help," she added. I was glad that Ness would have someone to help her out when I left, which I would have to do soon, unfortunately. My plane left in two hours and I would probably have to get there early to go through security.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Carlie and this is Seth," Nessie said, gesturing to me when she said my name. "And I'll most likely take you up on your offer," she said, taking Sarah's hand and shaking it.

"Okay, I'll let you get settled in. I'll talk to you later," Sarah smiled once more before leaving the door way and going to her own room.

"She seems like a nice girl," I commented, trying to break the silence that feel upon us once the girl was gone and the door was closed. Nessie merely hummed in agreement as she began unpacking. I stood awkwardly, not knowing if she wanted me touching her stuff or not. After standing there in silence for five minutes, I noticed tears falling from Nessie's eyes as she unpacked some pictures. I slowly walked towards her. "Ness?" I said softly, taking the picture out of her hand and placing it on the bedside table. It was one of her and Jake at their honeymoon. I gently put my arms around her and guided her onto the bed.

She threw her arms around my neck and sobbed quietly into my chest. It broke my heart to see her like this. Being a half-vampire meant that she rarely cried. The only other time she had cried like this was when Charlie died two years before Jake left. Now, ever since Jake left, she had been crying whenever something reminded her of him. I hated him for doing this to her, but knew that he had to have a really good reason for leaving and not staying in contact. A wolf can't leave his imprint that easily. I knew that because I had asked Sam repeatedly after Jake left, and he assured me that there had to be something threatening Nessie that Jake had to get rid of. What it was, though, was a mystery to everyone.

"Shh, it's okay. Don't cry," I tried to sooth her. I had never been very good at the whole comforting thing. I patted her back and continued to murmur soothing phrases, and after about five minutes she finally stopped crying.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, letting go of me and wiping her eyes. She didn't look me in the eye as she stood up and began putting more things away. I knew that she hated to come off as weak in front of people, even people, like me, whom she was close to.

Again I sat there not knowing what to do. After I while I decided that I should probably go back to the airport. I didn't want to miss my flight. "I should go," I said, looking up at Nessie. She barely turned to me and merely nodded her head. "I'll miss you." Another nod. "Call if you need anything." Nod. "Bye."

This time she turned fully around and wrapped her arms around me. She put her hand on my cheek and sent me an image of "Bye" then a feeling of love. "I love you," she said out loud when she let go of me. This made me smile. She had said it before in the past, and it was a brother and sister love, but she hadn't said those words to anyone ever since Jake left. Not even her parents. And she tried to use her power as little as possible. It gave me hope that she was returning to her normal self. Slowly but surely.

"I love you, too. Be careful but have a lot of fun," she laughed at this, making me smile again. I opened the door slowly, looking back at her one last time before leaving.


Renesmee's POV

I watched as Seth slowly left the room. I didn't know why I was being so emotional about Jake. It had been a year since I last saw him and aside from not wanting to talk I had been able to look at pictures of Jake without crying. Maybe it was because I knew that Seth was leaving too. He was just going back to Forks, but it seemed so far away now. I had thought that moving here was going to be a good idea, but I was beginning to doubt it.

When the door closed I moved back to my things and finished unpacking. Just as I was putting away my last piece of clothing there was a knock at the door. I closed the dresser drawer and opened the door to see the girl, Sarah standing there. "Hey!" she said excitedly. "Do you want to come out with us tonight? We can introduce you to everyone and show you part of the town?" She asked.

I thought about it for a second. It would be good for me to get out. And I had nothing to do but sit around here. So I nodded. "Sure. What should I wear?" I asked, not knowing where exactly we were going.

"Well, this is what I'm wearing, if that helps," she said, looking down at her clothes. She was wearing a t-shirt and skinny jeans. So something casual. I hoped that Alice actually packed some good clothes. Unlike her and Rosalie, I hated shopping. Like mother like daughter I guess.

"Okay, give me ten minutes," I said. She nodded and walked back to her room and I shut my door and began looking through my drawers. In the end I settled on a jean miniskirt and a v-neck black t-shirt. I loved wearing black because it made me look paler than I was, which I liked because it made me blend into my family better. Mom said it didn't help with trying to fit into humans, but I didn't really care that much.

I grabbed my purse and left the room, going to knock on Sarah's door. She opened and her and an African American girl stepped out. "This is Kate," Sarah introduced. I smiled at her. "Our friend Tyler is going to drive us," she explained as we walked down the stairs.

"Actually, would you mind if I followed in my car?" I asked. I wanted to drive because I would probably want to leave early, and I didn't want to have to stop everyone from enjoying themselves.

"Yeah that's fine," Sarah said. Went we exited the building there was a huge Hummer there with two boys in the front seats. Yeah, I was definitely glad that I was driving myself. Sarah walked over to the car and the driver rolled down the window. "Hey Tyler," she greeted him. "This is Carlie, she's new here so I thought we would bring her to Nicky's. She's going to follow you in her car, okay?" she asked and without waiting for an answer she jumped in the back seat with Kate.

"You parked in the student parking lot?" Tyler asked me. I nodded and began walking towards the parking lot. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find my car since Seth parked it, but it was right in front of me as soon as I stepped onto the pavement. I unlocked it and got it, pulling out. I noticed Tyler's Hummer at the end of the parking lot and began driving after him.

The bar was not that far from the school. When we pulled in I could immediately tell it was a favorite hangout place. It was packed. I parked next to the Hummer and got out at the same time as the passenger of the Hummer, almost hitting his door with mine. "Sorry," I said sheepishly. He smiled at me and shook his head to show that it was alright. He was tall, blonde, and gorgeous. I smiled back at him. "I'm Carlie," I introduced myself as we began walking behind the girls and Tyler.

"Reid Garwin," he said, sticking his hand out for me to shake. I noticed that he was wearing fingerless gloves and shook his hand. Gloves would probably be a good idea for me. I wouldn't accidently use my power on people.

We walked into the bar and I was immediately hit with the smells of alcohol, smoke, and sweat. It was kind of gross, in my opinion, and I wondered why it didn't seem to affect the others but figured that they were either used to the smell or it wasn't as strong for them since they weren't half-vampires. I followed them to a table in the back where two other boys were sitting. Sarah and Kate each went up to one of them and kissed them before turning and sitting on their laps. "Carlie, this is Caleb," Sarah said, motioning to the one she was sitting on. "And that's Pogue," she motioned to the one under Kate. "Guys this is Carlie, she's new here and I figured we could show her a good time," she finished.

"Nice to meet you, Carlie," Caleb said with a smile. He seemed nice.

"You too," I said. I took a seat across from them in between Reid and Tyler.

"So where are you from?" Tyler asked, turning to me.

"Um, Forks, Washington," I said. They gave me blank stares, obviously never hearing of the town Forks before. I didn't blame them, it was so small. "It's kind of near Seattle," I explained further. At this they all nodded.

"That's really far away," Reid said, pointing out the obvious. "How come you decided to go to school here?" he asked.

"Um, to get away I guess," I said, trying to be as honest as possible. I hadn't thought of a cover story before, which I probably should have, looking back on it, but I didn't really mind telling these humans. It's not like they could do anything.

"Ah, running away from family?" he said with a smirk. I thought about that. I technically was running away. But not to get away from my family so much as to get away from the past. I told him this and it seemed to shock him. He couldn't imagine what kind of past I had in order to want to get away so badly. I hoped that he didn't ask about it because how would I explain to a bunch of human teenagers that I had been married for three years when one day my husband just up and leaves for a reason that may be to protect me (Seth didn't think I heard him and Sam talking about it, but I did). They wouldn't understand.

Thankfully, Tyler seemed to sense my reluctance to speak of my past any longer, and asked Reid if he wanted to go play pool. Reid agreed and they stood up and headed towards the pool tables, leaving me alone with the couples. The girls had at this point gotten their own chairs and were in a conversation with each other, but when they noticed Reid and Tyler leave they immediately turned and included me in it. They were talking about fashion, which didn't interest me, but I was able to follow along and add in certain details because of my background with Alice in all fashion.

My phone rang and I jumped, quickly opening my purse and grabbing it. Speak of the devil, it was Alice. I excused myself and walked over to a quiet corner, close to the pool tables. "Alice! What's up?" I asked when I answered.

"Is Seth still there?" she asked, sounding nervous. This made me nervous. Had he not come home yet? But his plane left a couple of hours ago, so he was probably still flying. Now I was just confused.

"No, why?" I asked, curiosity laced in my voice.

"I can't see you," she said dramatically. This made me pause. Once I reached maturity, Alice's visions had begun working on me, unless I was around one of the wolves. "I don't know why either. The last thing I saw was you walking outside. I thought you had died or something!"

"Well I didn't die, but I don't know why you can't see me," I said, trying to think if I could smell a wolf. Maybe Seth had stayed back to watch me? I didn't know.

"Is there any wolf there?" Alice asked.

"No, no wolves," I said. "Is it the distance?"

Alice gasped; she was obviously offended by that question. My bad. "NO! I was able to see Edward in Italy from Forks so seeing you in Massachusetts is not that big of a problem." I thought back to that story. Dad had left Mom because he thought she would be safer without him. Mom had gone into a depression like I was. But Dad came back. Jake was nowhere to be found and he wouldn't know if I was in trouble or not.

"Okay, well I'll try and figure it out. Let me know when you can see me again," I said before saying good bye and hanging up the phone. I slowly walked back to the table thinking about what Alice had said. Why couldn't she see me anymore? What was different about the outside of my building from the inside?

I wasn't paying attention to where I was going since I had so much on my mind and ended up bumping into Reid. "Oh, sorry," I said absentmindedly.

He turned around to face me and smiled. "No problem," he said. "So was that your boyfriend you were on the phone with?" he asked teasingly.

I rolled my eyes at him. "I don't have a boyfriend," I told him honestly. And it was the truth. I didn't have a boyfriend, but I did have a husband. He was just missing at the moment. Looking back, it would have been easier to tell him I had a boyfriend. Maybe he would have laid off and I wouldn't be in such a mess now. But I can't really regret it. Reid means a lot to me…


Words: 3,503

Music: Breathe by Taylor Swift

Comments: I dunno. I shouldn't be writing this. Review please. Next chapter to come soon. And if you didn't get it, the last paragraph is foreshadowing. Not that I need to foreshadow anything because what's gunna happen is pretty obvious, well at least I think it is.